OT: We made the decision - I'm going to be a SAHM for a while!

[1rockinmamato2]

I've posted on the DIS before (I believe on the Community Board, not sure) when we were trying to decide on whether or not I should be a SAHM for a while (6 months at least, possibly a year). But, wanted to share my news that we have finally made our decision with everyone!

For many reasons, we decided it would be best for our family right now to have me at home. My son has special needs and both children are frequently sick because they are in daycare. I only have 4 sick days left and no one available to keep my children after those days are gone.

I'm excited and scared. Emotionally and physically, this is a great thing for us! However, I am scared how we are going to handle this financially. We really do need my income. I mean really. Really, really, really need my income. But, I feel we have no choice at this point.

When I've shared the news with friends and co-workers I've mostly gotten words of encouragement, but I've encountered a few who have been very negative. They are making me doubt my decision so I'm trying to remain upbeat.

I haven't told many people this, but DH and I are hoping that we adjust well to the lifestyle change, do fine financially, and this can be a more long-term thing for us.

Anyway, thanks for listening! Just wanted to share my excitement.

 

[Janet Hill]

Know it's scary, but it will be best.

We did this when my son (has aspergers was 1.5). It was husband who stayed at home as I had the better job and benefits. My husband went back to work when my son entered 1st grade and he gets off early enough that we don't have to do daycare.

At times we missed the extra income, but we adapted. We even had my daughter about to graduate high school and start college, but we managed. It was definately the best thing for our son though.

 

[tmclanton]

Great for you and your little ones! It can be very financially hard to go from two incomes down to one, but for us it has always worked out. As a parent with a special needs child, it is important for you to be home with him. Only you really know your child and the help he will need.

I am sorry to hear that some people have not been as supportive as they should be. They must realize that this was a hard choice and you are doing what you feel is best for your family... how can anyone knock that! IF they are making you doubt your decision, all you have to do is say to your self, "This is best for my children!" Everything else is secondary!

I am always amazed when I look around and see people living off of far less than what we have (and we are barely making ends meet)! It just proves that there is always ways to cut the budget to help make ends meet!

I wish you the best of luck!
Tammy

 

[Mkrop]

Hey good luck

You need to do what is best for your family and not worry what others say.

Once you get situated, maybe you can explore some options that might work with your family to bring in some extra cash, like depending on what state you are in 1-800-Flowers allows people to work from home, more info on that on the budget board.

 

[MSSANDRA]

You can make it work. When Ds was born very premature and sick, I quit my job cutting our income almost in half!! I did some in home child care after about 6 mo but also had some times I had no income. You make adjustments and you do what is best for your family. Visit the budget board for all sorts of money saving tips. There are great ideas on saving grocery money, low cost meals, entertainment etc.

 

[Aliceacc]

Congratulations!!!!

I did it for 6 years and it was one of those golden decisions I never regretted. We ran out of money last year and it was time to go back, but I'll always treasure the time I was able to spend with my kids while they were little!

 

[dana1003]

im one too and my babies were also preemies..we didnt want to stick them in daycare because they were on meds and apnea machines..also daycare for 2 would have killed us.i would have been taking home almost nothing so i decided to stay home..im not gonna lie. its been a struggle..we live paycheck to paycheck right now but i wouldnt have any other way. they're 4 now.i can take them to the park, mall,to do my errands and its just nice to be able to enjoy beautiful days outside while everyone else is doing the daily grind.you'll enjoy it. i promise.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Glad to hear you made the decision to stay home. Its a rough decision, but the rewards are great and with a little juggling and ingenuity you can learn to manage on one income. I took the first year off for each of my kids, went back to work for 12 years and then decided I'd had enough with the corporate world and stayed home for 6 years after that. Now my kids are pretty much grown and I don't regret being home for them at all-heaven knows that most of my income was going towards daycare and aftercare costs anyway when they were smaller. Probably my only regret was that I didn't make the decision sooner, but you can only move forward. Good luck, you did what was right for you and your family. Don't listen to the nay sayers.

 

[kellyg403]

I was a SAHM for a long time when the kids were younger, about 10 years or so. I did do some part time work here and there to supliment during holidays or such but nothing permanent. Went back to work ft after my divorce and then my new dh came along. For the first 5 years we were together we had a battle monthly about me staying home with the kids. He wanted me to be home, I loved being independent. As the kids started going thru ms and then hs I realized they needed me more now then they did when they were little almost. So, here I am 6 months into being a SAHM again. It has been rough financially sometimes. I have to remember I really shouldn't buy anything I don't need. But, just the other day I told dh I am glad we found a way to do this. Yeah, I get tired of cleaning everyday or feeling like a taxi but for the most part, I am glad I am not missing these years with the kids.

Good Luck. It is scary but it is so well worth it. And the stress level? I can't believe how much better I felt NOT having to juggle a job, sick kids, appointments, house cleaning, food prep, all in one day. I even sleep about 7 hours a night now which I never did before. I spent a lot of nights worrying about stuff for the next day. Its been good for me and for dh. Speaking of dh...our relationship has improved 100%. I have more time for our relationship and am not so crappy about his help after he has worked 13 hours a day.

Kelly

 

[AFL]

GOOD FOR YOU

Being a SAHM mom is rewarding, frustrating, challenging, exciting work!

I know I've been a full time mom for 16 1/2 years now. I've homeschooled my boys - my oldest graduates this year, my baby when to public school for the first time (grade 9). I loved playing blocks with them, teaching them to read, having them help in the kitchen, picnics, etc. Now I'm taking more of a advisory role in their lives, and that's exciting too.

I looked after my husband too. He was on a full disability pension. If you want to talk finances and making ends meet, try raising a family on $1200 a month.

I got flack from alot of people for not going to work to support my family, but DH said he wanted me home looking after him and the boys instead of some nurse and daycare that would have taken every dollar I could have possibly earned.

He's working now. Not that he is physically any better, just found work he can actually do. Also it costs a lot more to feed teenagers. lol

Enjoy your time with your children! I did and I still am.

AFL

 

[megthewonderful]

Congrats on making such a difficult decision. I'm a SAHM and I don't miss working outside the home one bit! I consider myself very fortunate to be able to stay home and spend as much time with my kids as I want. They are only going to be young once and I don't want to miss a minute of it.
We were very worried about our finances at first, but we have definitely made it work for now. Sure in a couple of years I'll have to go back to work to add some money to the college fund, but I've decided to enjoy my time home while I can!
Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. If you have made the best decision for your family, then let the countdown to your days as a SAHM begin!

 

[disneyfanfamily]

Good for you. I have been a SAHM for 13 years. My youngest started 1st grade this year. I am thinking about going back to school to get a 4 year degree (mainly so I can sub - Ohio's school's law to have a bachelors of anything).

DH and I decided before we got married that I would work until kids came, then I would stay home. I have loved every minute of it. I must say, I miss my kids being home with me during the day. They grow up SOOOO fast. Money can be tight, but there are usually ways to tighten your belt.

Enjoy being home. They grow up quickly. Take in every moment because one day you will turn around and they will be grown up!

 

[katyjeka]

Your going to have a great time. I've been home for almost thirteen years.(I can't believe it's been that long) We have 3 dd's so far and I'm so glad I've spent all this time with them. I was nervous in the beginning, but we adapted well to one check. I clip coupons, and we limit our eating out to one night a week, usually Sat. night. It's great to have our evenings together as a family and we spend a lot of time riding bikes and picnicing @ state parks. It is quite a change in the beginning, but you'll be so busy, you'll wonder how you managed before. Good luck, and cherish all the together time. Janice