OT - trying to explain why "gay" isn't a "bad word" to ds6

[wallyb]

-I'm 6'4"
-I'm half Japanese
-I have green eyes
-I'm gay
-I was raised on a military base
-I'm Catholic

- Good Dancer
- Okra Challenged

 

[PrincessKsMom]

OP, I hope you don't mind if I steal your talk.

I blew the whole black/white talk with my kids. Now when they describe someone to me they say they have brown skin because I had a meltdown the first time DS described someone as black. I was trying to explain that we don't use colors when talking about people. I thought I was getting it right, but now I have just made them think it is wrong to say someone is black.

Anyway, I hope to get this talk right. Your way of phrasing it sounds great to me.

Thanks!

Had to chime in here. First to OP, that's almost the exact same talk I had with my DD. She then put the pieces together and realized that a family friend's relative, who she'd known her whole life, and her partner were "gay". I think it's the connotation and not specifically the word. She's known these people her whole life and never questioned their relationship. Children can be VERY accepting unless we point them in the wrong direction.

As far as the black and white issue, again I think it's all how the words are used. If someone described me as middle aged I wouldn't be offended. I am, what I am. I think we sometimes go overboard being PC. In conversation, I said the phrase "African American" to someone who got highly offended because she was actually of Caribbean descent and said she was sick of all the black people being lumped together as African American. As a white person, I'm clueless and always feel like I'm offending someone, while trying to do the "right" thing.

 

[OrlandoMike]

I think the term "gay" may have a whole new meaning with the generation that is currently in High School and younger.

My nieces, who "like" me, but adore Shrek say "That's so gay" all the time. I had a discussion with them and some of their friends, and they all agreed it had nothing to do with the GLBT community. In fact none of them had any sort of issues with our community.

I think it may be just another hijacking of the definition of a word.

Heck, we hijacked it!

Anyone else remember when it meant.....

1. having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.
2. bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments.
3. given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season.
4. licentious; dissipated; wanton: The baron is a gay old rogue with an eye for the ladies.

Oh wait, maybe we didn't hijack it at all!

 

[starbox]

I think the term "gay" may have a whole new meaning with the generation that is currently in High School and younger.

My nieces, who "like" me, but adore Shrek say "That's so gay" all the time. I had a discussion with them and some of their friends, and they all agreed it had nothing to do with the GLBT community. In fact none of them had any sort of issues with our community.

While I agree that 99% of kids that use the word are using it "innocently" - with no conscious awareness of it's link to sexuality - as a teacher and mom of two kids (elementary and middle school) I can also say that gay is being used as a replacement word for something stupid or embarrassing.

I do think the root of this usage is intended to suggest that being gay should be viewed as "stupid and embarrassing" - even if the kids don't know that what they are saying has a clear link to hate language.

It's very harmful for children (especially if they become aware that they identify with that community in a positive way) to grow up hearing negative connotations to the word.

 

[audrabolster]

Not only did you give an excellent description to your son, but following up with a note to the teacher was perfect. The classroom needs to be aware that name calling is not acceptable.

Thank you for being such a wonderfully responsible parent.

Very true. Sadly especially nowadays, namecalling and bullying is running rampant in schools, and there seems to be very little the teachers are either willing to do or can do to help.

 

[jrsmom]

I found my way onto this section of the disboards by a McCain thread that caught my eye.

We too are a traditional family. My son who is 13 today came home and asked me what "gay" meant when he was about 8. I asked him what he thought it meant and he told me it is when two girls like each other or two boys. I told him that was pretty much the way it was and that some people were born like this and they are no different than us.

I then decided to tell him that the two guys accross the street were gay and he was a little shocked at first. We talked about them being nice people and that he shouldn't treat them any different. The topic never came up again

 

[SuzieN]

Your thread totally caught my eye! My 3 kids [12,9, & 6] are ALWAYS calling each other and everything they think is stupid gay. However, my favorite cousin[also a WDW addict], best friend, and best friend's bro who is also a close friend, are all gay and very much adored by all 3 of my kids. I tried to get them to stop using the word gay as a negative but at this point I have just thrown my hands up and given up on it! They honestly are very accepting of gay people but kids just throw that word around so much that it totally doesn't mean what it used to anymore. Kinda like when it used to mean happy!!