OT-Tacky?

[bumbershoot]

I think the "ewwww" reaction of some of the other moms in this social circle perhaps says more about them than about Ashley's mom... IMHO.

I agree.

 

[bookgirl]

Nah, not tacky....it really does seem like it is just a request to send a card.

On the other hand, I would be talking to the 10 year old about how as you grow up not everyone is going to revolve around your own special occasions. Typically people don't send out cards/gifts for birthdays outside thier families or really close friends. Just because you don't get cards doesn't mean your friends don't like you it' just means that in the course of life sometimes you're special day is just a day to others.

 

[krcit]

This a very timely question for me. My dd is going to be 10 next week and we are not having a party. She just said to me today "I hope that everyone remembers my birthday, I don't think they will though" She means her aunts and uncles and godparents. Some of my family has a bad habit of forgetting birthdays unless you have a sad2: Now, my dd is a sweetheart and not greedy at all(same can't be said for my 13 year old, lol) she just wants to be remembered on her special day and if that means I have to have my mom make a few gentle reminders to my brothers so that she has a nice birthday then that's what I'll do. So, I don't think the mom was tacky. I think she wants her dd to have a nice birthday.

 

[Lucky4me]

Not tacky, but unecessary.
A ten year old is old enough to understand if you don't throw a party, you won't be getting cards and gifts from everyone..
We've done the trip instead of party thing for dd and she understood only her closest friends and relatives would be giving her gifts and cards. It was not a problem.

 

[pilgrimage]

I think it was fine. The card doesn't have to cost much--even
a free e -card would be welcome, I bet! Being celebrated and
cherished doesn't require money.

 

[pearlieq]

Tacky. Why are people so convinced of their own importance? A birthday card is a gesture of kindness, not an entitlement.

She has chosen not to invite them to celebrate the day with her (nothing wrong with that, of course, just one of many choices we make) but is still having the expectation set for her that she is due acknowledgment. Not good at all...

 

[ceecee]

I think it's tacky! At 10, the little girl is old enough to understand that since they are going on a trip, she probably won't get as much "attention" as she would if she were having a party. Her best friends will remember party or not. I know my DD would not forget one of her BFF's birthdays!

 

[gaelic grace]

I don't think it 's tacky either. I think it's a mother who wants to make sure her daughter feels special on her birthday. It's a ten year old. They aren't supposed to have all the maturity of a 30 year old and understand all the aforementioned things. It's the summer and people get busy and forget. Their friends may think a party is happening later and then feel bad that they didn't do anything. If you can't be excited about your birthday at ten and want a little attention for it I think we have really ruined childhood.

 

[here757]

perhap i am miss reading it.
how eles would she have signed the email???
only her kids call her mom. other kids probably call her mrs. smith/davis whatever.
i would think with the children being friends the parents would call each other by first names..
i wouldnt think to hard about it.
when our kids hurt . we hurt. shes probably just tryin to advoid the whole issue

 

[willis37862]

I think the mom handled it nicely. I don't see it as a bid for gifts at all, just a request that the girl's friends remember the birthday with a card.

I agree. Doesn't seem tacky or like she is begging for gifts to me.

 

[hentob]

Tacky. Why are people so convinced of their own importance? A birthday card is a gesture of kindness, not an entitlement.

I agree 100%

 

[hentob]

So, I don't think the mom was tacky. I think she wants her dd to have a nice birthday.

So a trip to the Grand Canyon will not be enough to make the birthday nice?

I worry about this generation. I really do

..... she just wants to be remembered on her special day and if that means I have to have my mom make a few gentle reminders to my brothers so that she has a nice birthday then that's what I'll do.

She is ten. If adults want to remember her birthday, they have had ten years of practice If they don't remember her birthday, they don't care. It is not a big deal for them Why force the issue?

 

[pfp258]

Tacky! Why would you need to remind kids not to forget your daughters birthday. If they are "real" friends they should remember and if they don't send a birthday card... BIG DEAL!
I had one of my daughters friends call me last year to remind of her daughters birthday...she wanted my daughter to decorate her daughter's locker at school. She even offered to drive my daughter to school in the morning to do it. PLLLEASE!
Parents need to try and stop controlling all aspects of their childrens lives. We can't always make our children feel special or keep them from feeling sad.

 

[hentob]

I had one of my daughters friends call me last year to remind of her daughters birthday...she wanted my daughter to decorate her daughter's locker at school. She even offered to drive my daughter to school in the morning to do it. PLLLEASE!

I know the type

I need ATTENTION! Look at me! Yoo-Hoo! It is my birthday! I won't feel special unless lots and lots of people know it

 

[TaraPA]

Tacky. Why are people so convinced of their own importance? A birthday card is a gesture of kindness, not an entitlement.

She has chosen not to invite them to celebrate the day with her (nothing wrong with that, of course, just one of many choices we make) but is still having the expectation set for her that she is due acknowledgment. Not good at all...

Well said!

 

[DisneyKT]

Not Tacky. Its just a card the Mom is asking for not a gift. Jeesk the kid is going to be ten not twenty.

 

[sndfan]

I wouldn't think twice about it and would happily send a card. I always love acknowledging people's special days and events and am a BIG sender of cards. I would probably even go to Dollar Tree to put together a little bag of Sudoku puzzles and word searches with some cool pens and give it to her before her trip.

Kindness doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg.

 

[ilisao]

The surest way not to get something in our house? To beg for it. And that is what this is equal to. It, IMO, is completely tacky to go around asking for birthday cards.

If a child is a good friend, they do not need a reminder of a birthday. This sense of entitlement, that everyone ought to be giving the girl birthday wishes, is what's wrong with this country. A trip to the Grand Canyon isn't good enough?

This could have been a great teaching moment, and the mother blew it.

 

[disneyjunkie]

TACKY, TACKY, TACKY

The child is getting an awesome trip. Isn't that enough to make her feel special?

 

[irish_trip_mom]

I am sorry, but I have a hard time remembering my own large family's birthdays, so remembering my child's friend's birthday would be off my radar if there was no party. I do not find this tacky at all. If this is a kid who is used to having her friends celebrate with her each year, I think the mom just wants her to have a little of home along with her special trip.

Am I missing something? Is there more to the story, like this family craves attention?