OT: School bus incident - am I overreacting?

[livndisney]

Did you tell him to do his job so you don't have to? Then I would tell him if it happens again you'll be contacting legal counsel to find out what your options are. I'm not actually saying sue, but once you mention legalities with school districts, they tend to start to worry more, and actually get something done.

Not wanting to hijack this thread. But YES, I did tell HER to do her job. But when you have a self righteous administrator, they tend to not listen. No worries, my child is safe (out of the school) and happy. And the self righteous administrator is being investigated. I guess the board did not like the answers they got from the parents who had withdrawn their children. In this case money (or lack of money from enrollment) spoke volumes.

 

[kafitty]

i went to Catholic school, and we had every grade on our buses...and i mean EVERY grade: k-12, well, more like k-11 cause by 12th grade everyone either had a car or bummed rides off of someone else.

DEFINITELY NOT IDEAL, i tell you what...even if the older kids aren't trying to mess with the younger kids, the things they could possibly overhear...oi.

not that i was EVER a part of such mischievousness...

 

[wildfan1473]

OP here...I just got off the phone with the bus company. The bus driver is going to talk with a couple of the kids tomorrow morning (the morning and afternoon busses are different) and find out what happened, and they will get back to me. DS will not be on the bus since he has a dentist appt, so I think that will work out better anyway. She did say she was very appreciative that I brought this to their attention so it can get handled.

I think I'm going to wait until I know how they are handling it before I make a decision about letting him continue to ride the bus. He won't be taking it the next couple of days anyway just because of scheduling conflicts, and by then I'll have a better handle on the situation.

Gotta go pick up the munchkins now

 

[Aristomommy]

Last year DD9 was bullied on the bus and it got physical. While the school was concerned, they couldn't do anything since it was the transportation company's issue. Even if it was someone else's issue, I wanted the school to know in case there were others in the same situation. I ended up driving her to school, since the busdriver had such a hard time keeping an eye on the kids and drive at the same time.

 

[ERMama]

day 3 of the bus for my son when he was in K-he gets off the bus all smiles and says "the big boys on the bus call me bad boy and *itch". its a k-4th grade bus. needless to say the bus driver and his teacher got talked to and they made sure he sat very near the front of the bus for the remainder of the year.

if theres another issue then i would maybe think of pulling him off the bus. its hard but you cant protect them from everything once they start school and its important to use the "bad" stuff as learning experiences. they learn all sorts of interesting new words and behaviors at school.

 

[minkydog]

I apologize if this is long, but I am just right now.

Both boys go to the same school, but DS4 is only in preschool, so I have to drive him in. DS6, in Kindergarten, prefers to ride the bus. After I dropped off DS4, I went to talk to the K teacher about something, when DS6 walked in "Mommy, Mommy, what does this say?". He pulls out his notebook he carries to draw in on the bus, and in his own handwriting are the letters "kik me". I got this weird look on my face and asked him who told him to write those letters, when he pulled out a loose piece of paper that has written on it, clear as day, "kick me hard in the a#@ you s#@%*#".

I about lost it. I drug him down to the principal, and we got some more info out of him, but not a name. We did find out he stuck a piece of paper on his younger brother's back that supposedly said "kick me", as he then proceeded to kick the kid in the back and everyone laughed. The principal advised me to contact the bus company. I found one of the older kids on the bus and got a name of the person who supposedly wrote this. I then went to the bus company, who promises to follow up with the driver when she gets back from the next round of students.

What do I do? Is there anything I can do? I know by taking the bus, he is going to be subjected to so much stuff with the older kids on there. His bus mostly consists of middle and high schoolers, and the few elementary aged kids who go to his parochial school - the rest of the public school kids have a later start, thus a later bus.

Thanks for listening.

GET HIM OFF THAT BUS! This is nothing short of bullying. You would never in your wildest dreams allow your son to play or hang out with teen-aged kids; why in the heck would anyone want their little kids riding around with a bunch of rowdy teens? The bus driver probably is not fully aware of what the kids are doing because he's driving the bus. I take it there is no other adult monitor to keep order.

Simply my opinion, of course. But I'm telling you, this is only the beginning of the bus problems you're facing.

 

[dawnn12]

i understand your concern with your son(being a partent of 2 dds) but im also a school bus driver i drive for a school district that has the younger kids sit in the front and the older in the back. its not unheard of to have a transfer bus we have a few in our district i want to tell you this it is difficult to watch the road and keep 60+ kids in your view at all times alot of the time us bus drivers dont know anything happened till 1 were either told by a parent or a child or 2 we happened to see it. i know on my bus if i see a kid getting kicked or punched the kid who did it has a meeting with the principal when i get to the school or if in the pm the next day...... talk to the driver they could put both of your sons in a seat together and upfront if the driver knows who the problem child is they are more likely to watch them more often. i hope everything gets resolved for you

dawn

 

[mom2my2gr8kids]

Thank you all for your responses. I think I need to clarify a couple of things.

First off, DS takes 2 busses - one from home to a transfer point, then another to the school with all the kids from the parochial school. The incident happened on the first bus to the transfer point. not the one that comes to the school. The alledged child who wrote these things is a student at the public school.

Second, DS4 only goes to school MWF, not daily. We are 13 miles, one direction, from school. I can get away with taking him on the days I am already going, but it is harder on the off days, as DH is already gone to work and I have a preschooler still sleeping, and what do I do with both of them next year?

Lastly, there is supposed to already be an implementation of younger kids on the front of the bus and older in the back. This was supposedly a 2nd grader who committed the offense, not an older child.

I sympathize with your situation, I drive my kids to a private school 25 miles away (one way). I can't imagine letting them take 2 busses! My daughter is 3 years older, then my son and I tell you it was hard having to take my son everyday when he didn't need to, but in the long run, it was worth it! I say get him off that bus!

 

[Tiffa]

First have them make an incident report, if it truly is a public school kid on the connection bus there really is nothing you or the bus driver can do about the kid other than move his seat, but they cannot deny public transportation to anyone. It is really hard other than the kids threating someones life to get a kid kicked off a public school bus, and the stories I hear from drivers are awful and shocking to say the least. If I did not know any bus drivers I dont think my kids would take the bus anyway but knowing alot of drivers most of the stories just leave me standing there with my jaw on the ground , sorry back to my thought make them write up and incident report

 

[sk!mom]

I would not put a kindergartner on a bus with middle and high school students. The bus driver's first priority is safe transportation. The amount of monitoring they can do is limited.

I wouldn't want my Kinder. child to spend time with kids that much older, listening to what I'm sure are very mature conversations on a daily basis. If he continues, I predict that your son will grow up very quickly this year.

 

[seashoreCM]

The parents of the kid who followed the instructions written on the kid's arms or on the piece of paper are more responsible than the kid who wrote the instructions.

>>> The principal yelled at [me]
100.0% totally absolutely improper. To be referred to higher up such as the superintendent.

>>> Pulled my kids off the bus
In these circumstances, ask the the school via PTA meeting to pay mileage to you. A lot of school districts (the taxpayers in those towns) are paying, sometimes as muych as five figures per capita, for all-day special ed' for "disabled" kids when the real problem is other kids' interfering with the "disabled' kids' learning and well being.

Disney hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[Schmeck]

I about lost it. I drug him down to the principal

You drugged your kid?

ETA: Oh, you meant dragged, sorry, I misunderstood.

 

[eh24fan]

His bus mostly consists of middle and high schoolers, and the few elementary aged kids who go to his parochial school - the rest of the public school kids have a later start, thus a later bus.

Thanks for listening.

There is no way on this earth I would allow my 6yr old to ride a bus with kids of that age. No way, no how. In fact, I didn't even let him ride the bus to pre-k at his elementary school b/c of the 4th graders on the bus. 4 year olds do not need to be on a bus with 10 year olds.

I would be driving him to school from now on OP.

 

[licountrygirl]

I'm a school bus driver. I drive for 3 schools. The first is a Jr/Sr High School (which I personally think is ridiculous - there is too much of an age span) a "Middle School" that's 3-6th and Elementary that is K-2.

I'm telling you, we NEED the parents' help! I've driven in school districts that do not do anything to discipline a child. We are told to write conduct reports on a child that misbehaves. It is up to the school to do the discipline. They don't. I've actually had a principal tell me that "so and so" comes from a difficult household so I should be more lenient. No way. That kid could also be the kid that pulls a knife on another kid. Don't even say, no way. It happened on my bus last year. A 3rd grader pulled a pocket knife and threatened a 4th grader. What did it get him? A house stop on a special needs bus.

We need the parents to get in the school's face and DEMAND that something be done when their child is hurt, etc. Without that, the school will literally do nothing. Maybe a detention or 1 day bus suspension.

We drive 72 passenger buses. We are doing our best to get those 72 kids to school safely. Our eyes are on the road - we can't possibly be driving safe and have our eyes on the kids. In a perfect world, there would be two driver assistants on each bus. That's just not the case. I've had a parent actually yell at me that I didn't see someone hitting his kid while I was driving. The moron parent even motioned to the big mirror I have hanging over my head. Yeah, we have the mirror, but we can't possibly see everything this is happening behind those very large seatbacks.

If the parent's don't demand the school does something, nothing will happen. Your kid will still get teased or hit. The bus driver will continue to write conduct reports. That's it.

Get this - we do have graded seat assignments. The younger kids in the front and as they get older- the more they sit in the back. Guess where the big kid in the back is going to get moved for punching "Johnny or Susie?" Right in the front seat next to your precious Kindergartener!

This is ridiculous!

 

[Aristomommy]

Get this - we do have graded seat assignments. The younger kids in the front and as they get older- the more they sit in the back. Guess where the big kid in the back is going to get moved for punching "Johnny or Susie?" Right in the front seat next to your precious Kindergartener!

This is ridiculous!

First of all, I appreciate the work you do and I can't imagine focusing on driving AND dealing with all of this at the same time.

DD9 was hit and her head was banged against the seat in front of her for an entire trip home last year. Our school system and the bus company actually moved DD (4th grader) to sit with the Kindergartners so she wouldn't be assaulted anymore. Not only was she hit, but then punished by being with the little kids. I declined and drove her to school. Our school unfortunately does not deal with bus incidents since the private transportation company is responsible. I would think that they would want to know and work with the bus drivers.

The worst part was that the other girl's mom never even found out about the incident, because too much time passed btw. school and transportation co. trying to figure out who deals with it.

 

[cntrygal]

I agree. I would pull him off the bus.

I have honestly never heard of such a wide range of ages on one bus..??? I wouldn't want my K kid to be riding with teens... no way.

In a rural area this happens everyday, we have pre-k to 12th grade on the same bus.......they go to school in the same building. We have 640 kids in grades pre-k - 12.

 

[miprender]

How awful, DD5 is taking the bus for the first time for Kindergarten and just reading all these stories is why I worry about her taking the bus. Fortunately where we live in RI, all buses for elementry students have a bus monitor on them and all Kindergarteners sit in the front. She only has 1/2 day K so her bus home is just her class.

Also, they sent notices home from the school that riding the bus is a privilege and the school has the right to refuse any causing a disruption from riding the bus (hopefully I won't have to put it that to the test)

My heart goes out to you OP since this is a tough decision.

 

[livndisney]

I'm telling you, we NEED the parents' help! I've driven in school districts that do not do anything to discipline a child. We are told to write conduct reports on a child that misbehaves. It is up to the school to do the discipline. They don't. I've actually had a principal tell me that "so and so" comes from a difficult household so I should be more lenient. No way. That kid could also be the kid that pulls a knife on another kid. Don't even say, no way. It happened on my bus last year. A 3rd grader pulled a pocket knife and threatened a 4th grader. What did it get him? A house stop on a special needs bus.

We need the parents to get in the school's face and DEMAND that something be done when their child is hurt, etc. Without that, the school will literally do nothing. Maybe a detention or 1 day bus suspension.

We drive 72 passenger buses. We are doing our best to get those 72 kids to school safely. Our eyes are on the road - we can't possibly be driving safe and have our eyes on the kids. In a perfect world, there would be two driver assistants on each bus. That's just not the case. I've had a parent actually yell at me that I didn't see someone hitting his kid while I was driving. The moron parent even motioned to the big mirror I have hanging over my head. Yeah, we have the mirror, but we can't possibly see everything this is happening behind those very large seatbacks.

If the parent's don't demand the school does something, nothing will happen. Your kid will still get teased or hit. The bus driver will continue to write conduct reports. That's it.

Get this - we do have graded seat assignments. The younger kids in the front and as they get older- the more they sit in the back. Guess where the big kid in the back is going to get moved for punching "Johnny or Susie?" Right in the front seat next to your precious Kindergartener!

This is ridiculous!

This is EXACTLY what happened last year. The "older" kids were in the back, when they got in trouble they got moved to the front with the little kids.

 

[pooh98378]

Another idea for those of you who are having major problems with the principal, superintendant, etc., is to write the agency in charge of schools in your state (and cc: the school in the letter). This will typically get their attention very quickly, although it will tend to irritate them too so I wouldn't do this until you exerted all your options (go to the principal first, superintendant, etc.). The key is to cc it though so then the school knows that your letter went to the agency.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

When my DS attended Catholic school he rode a public school bus to the public school also, then transferred to the Catholic school bus at the public school. Is this what your DS does?

I'm assuming you talked to the principal at your DS's school? What about the other school? The principal of the public school should be responsible for your kid until he transferrs onto the bus that takes your son to his school.

My DS when he was in 1st grade, had an incident with a kid. I called the bus driver, and talked to him. I had his home number ( again country living, gotta love it) . I also found out this same kid was kicked off the bus the previous year and is creating problems again....obviously.

I called the public school principal. I never gave him a chance to say it wasn't his job because it is. It was "his" student creating the problem, thus "his" job to take care of it. The kids parents were called in and he was suspended off the bus for some time. When he did return there wasn't a problem.

You need to call the public school principal. Good Luck!