OT--Santa?????

[christa112]

There are a couple of posts on the budget board about Christmas gifts for 7-9 yr old and tweens. Which starting me thinking when should I tell me kids that santa is not "real". I have three kids 9, 7 & 4, my boys are 7 & 9 and they are ones I am thinking about telling. Are they too young to smash their hopes and dreams that Santa doesn't exist?

What have other people done in the past to break the news to their kids.

(This topic is not up for debate, please don't post nasty things on here. Everyone celebrates their own way and I do not want anyone to be offended.)

 

[J3nn78]

I do not believe in telling kids. I think it is best for them to figure it out on their own. I am sure at age 9, there are likely doubts already. He will probably figure it out soon.

My take is Why take away the magic and push them towards growing up any sooner than necessary? I do not think there is any harm in believing in Santa Claus.

I think I believed till I was bout 9 or 10. I figured it out but never really said anything. It got to a point where my parents understood that I knew and we had a "silent" agreement that I would not spoil it for my younger siblings. I am so glad they did not spoil it for me. I would have been heartbroken. If your older one brings it up around the younger, brush it off until you can talk to him alone about not spoiling it for the younger ones.

 

[Erin13178]

I do not believe in telling kids. I think it is best for them to figure it out on their own. I am sure at age 9, there are likely doubts already. He will probably figure it out soon.

My take is Why take away the magic and push them towards growing up any sooner than necessary? I do not think there is any harm in believing in Santa Claus.

I think I believed till I was bout 9 or 10. I figured it out but never really said anything. It got to a point where my parents understood that I knew and we had a "silent" agreement that I would not spoil it for my younger siblings. I am so glad they did not spoil it for me. I would have been heartbroken. If your older one brings it up around the younger, brush it off until you can talk to him alone about not spoiling it for the younger ones.

I totally agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Mom told me in the 3rd grade, and I was crushed. I remember sitting and crying for hours. Seriously I do remember sitting in our living room on this big brown chair with my Mom, crying. I remember asking her why she lied to me, etc.

What I plan on doing with my dd is letting her believe until either someone else tells her (like kids, etc) or until she figures it out on her own. Now if an adult tells her, I will be ticked, and likely go off on the adult. I refuse for her to go through what I went through.

 

[happymommy]

We also had the "silent agreement" with me and my parents growing up.

I have never told my kids really - now they KNOW but we don't really talk about it. My son says stuff to me like "you know I know he's not real" (trying to be cool) but my daughter REFUSES to admit she knows. It is a fun game, and I really think I'd just go along with it as long as you can! If they ask you, what you tell them is up to you. But I wouldn't come out and spill the beans. I think really santa IS real because he WAS alive and we are just carrying on his tradition for him. Sound okay?

Good luck - it does get tricky as they get older, doesn't it?

 

[thegrimdwarf]

I agree with prior posters - you don't need to let the cat out of the bag. Kids are smart, and they'll figure it out or one of their friends will tell them. I would actually be very surprised if your 9 YO doesn't already know (or suspect) and just isn't letting on. I figured things out when I was around 5, and didn't say anything because I thought if I said there was no Santa, there would be no more gifts .

 

[imthatgirl]

what you want to tell your kids???? people do that??

im 32 and those words have never come out of my mothers mouth. all of my gifts are still adressed from santa.

my daughter is 8, she asked me last christmas if santa was real. well first of all ive never actually said he was real. so the conversation wasnt too hard. i told her that of course santa was real. he may not be everything hes portrayed to be, but those feelings you get from christmas and santa are very real. she then asked if i buy the gifts and i told her the magic of christmas brings those gifts(we dont do any gifts from us, only santa brings gifts0.
she was quite satisfied with those answers. shes a smart kid, she knows a fat guy in a red suit isnt coming down out chimminy. but, she also doesnt want to know hes not. so because i never actually answered the questions she is still allowed to use her imagination and believe what she wants.
if you tell your children they are no longer being allowed to have that.

 

[sueh]

I posted this very question on another board that I participate in.

I was concerned as my dd1 will be starting 3rd grade and she attends daycare with some older children. I remember being her age and someone on the bus told me. I ran home to my mother as I was devistated.
I was wondering too if I should tell her because she has a younger sister and I know that just to be a bully she will tell her. Sweet kids. LOL

 

[mommytoone]

what you want to tell your kids???? people do that??

im 32 and those words have never come out of my mothers mouth. all of my gifts are still adressed from santa.

my daughter is 8, she asked me last christmas if santa was real. well first of all ive never actually said he was real. so the conversation wasnt too hard. i told her that of course santa was real. he may not be everything hes portrayed to be, but those feelings you get from christmas and santa are very real. she then asked if i buy the gifts and i told her the magic of christmas brings those gifts(we dont do any gifts from us, only santa brings gifts0.
she was quite satisfied with those answers. shes a smart kid, she knows a fat guy in a red suit isnt coming down out chimminy. but, she also doesnt want to know hes not. so because i never actually answered the questions she is still allowed to use her imagination and believe what she wants.
if you tell your children they are no longer being allowed to have that.

I totally agree with you!!! My mom has "never told" me, we just knew. She said as long as you believe, Christmas will be magical. Well she is right. My DD 7, is asking and I tell her, that Santa is real, and that is where I leave it. I can not imagine her knowing for real at 7 Although, I am sure she does. I want the magic to continue for as long as possible. I don't care if she is 18 For me that's what makes Christmas fun.

 

[imthatgirl]

I posted this very question on another board that I participate in.

I was concerned as my dd1 will be starting 3rd grade and she attends daycare with some older children. I remember being her age and someone on the bus told me. I ran home to my mother as I was devistated.
I was wondering too if I should tell her because she has a younger sister and I know that just to be a bully she will tell her. Sweet kids. LOL

ok, ill get flamed for this, but....when my daughter was in first grade she came home very upset. Emma said there was no santa. turns out they dont do santa in their home. so i told my daughter that Emma must be on the naughty list so her mom has to buy all her presents.
ok,ok, i know not my best mommy moment. but, i do feel that any parent who chooses to skip the santa thing should teach their child to respect the fact that other kids do believe in him. this mom obviously didnt.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

We also had the "silent agreement" with me and my parents growing up.

I have never told my kids really - now they KNOW but we don't really talk about it. My son says stuff to me like "you know I know he's not real" (trying to be cool) but my daughter REFUSES to admit she knows. It is a fun game, and I really think I'd just go along with it as long as you can! If they ask you, what you tell them is up to you. But I wouldn't come out and spill the beans. I think really santa IS real because he WAS alive and we are just carrying on his tradition for him. Sound okay?

Good luck - it does get tricky as they get older, doesn't it?

My oldest is 12..and she refuses to admit she knows too...lol. We debated on telling her the past 3 yrs...but just cant bring ourselves to do it.. By the time they find out on their own...they won't hold it against you.... Don't tell!!

 

[stsomewhere]

My DD was in Kindergarten. Someone in her class told her.
DS was in 1st. Him and his cousin found santa's stash of toys. By accident.

 

[Keara'sMom]

We just told our dd just before Christmas this past year (she was just about to turn 11) because she BEGGED to know the truth--with tears and everything! Like others have said, kids in school were talking, and it came out that she and only one of her friends still believed in Santa. The "talk" (you know, the true meaning of Christmas and the spirit of Santa, that stuff) was a little heartbreaking because, while she wanted to know the "truth," she was hoping the truth would be different than it really was. I would have loved for her to go on believing and only talked with her about it when she really insisted. I found myself wishing that she had just come to the understanding on her own, since I felt like I spoiled the magic for her. She still had a good Christmas, just not quite as magical.

The only plus side was that she realized my dh and I bought her all of the cool Christmas gifts she's gotten on Christmas mornings past--we earned some brownie points for that!

 

[pntsmom99]

Last year a little girl (9 years old)who we watch in the morning came it to our home and told my daughter that her sister (a-14) told her that there was no Santa. My daughter who is 8 was very upset. I explained it this way. Some people believe in Santa even as adults, do you believe in the Magic of Christmas? My daughter said yes. I said how do you think that magic is spread if not for Santa? I explained that everyone thinks that Santa is responsible for presents, and that sometimes can be true, but its really the magic that Santa creates.

I also told them the story of the Christmas Gremlin. The christmas gremlin is a fast little bugger. He loves to cause problems and get people not to believe in the magic of christmas and in Santa. This naughty little gremlin runs up to people who are not exactly feeling the Christmas magic and bites them and then they don't believe anymore.

I very seriously asked if the older sister had been bitten, and asked if they had been bitten too. The two younger girls looked each other over and said they hadn't been bitten, but they were afraid the sister had been. They asked what they could do for her. Unfortunatly nothing can be done, except the bite wears off over time, and eventually everyone gets better and will see the Magic of Christmas again.

My daugher, who by the way is an only child, still believes in Santa. Her answer when people don't believe any more..."Oh! You've been bit!! I come from a very large family and I don't think we were ever told there was no Santa and I have no plans to tell my daughter. I just change his job description.

I also explained that Santa is not responsible, at least in our house, for bringing the presents. Santa brings one...because there are alot of children in the world, so he couldn't possibly bring all those people lots and lots of presents. If you look under our tree every year there is one present to her, and the wrapping doesn't match, that is always the present from Santa.

My little one thinks, plans and plots a very long time before telling us what she is going to ask Santa for. This year its an American Girl Doll.

 

[luvmy3]

I think I'll be telling my dd this year (she will be almost 11). She's going into 5th grade and I'm pretty sure she already knows, but she just won't admit it. Last year she had questioned it.

 

[jme829]

I do not believe in telling kids. I think it is best for them to figure it out on their own. I am sure at age 9, there are likely doubts already. He will probably figure it out soon.

My take is Why take away the magic and push them towards growing up any sooner than necessary? I do not think there is any harm in believing in Santa Claus.

I think I believed till I was bout 9 or 10. I figured it out but never really said anything. It got to a point where my parents understood that I knew and we had a "silent" agreement that I would not spoil it for my younger siblings. I am so glad they did not spoil it for me. I would have been heartbroken. If your older one brings it up around the younger, brush it off until you can talk to him alone about not spoiling it for the younger ones.

 

[mercydisney]

I'm 40 yrs old and I still believe in Santa !

You're telling me their is no Santa?

OOOHHH NOOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

[asoko]

I have siblings much younger than me (sister 8 years younger and brother 20 years younger) We were never told and never told the younger ones. The only thing I remember my mom ever saying if I asked was if you don't believe you don't receive. I got Santa presents until I was into my 30's, when my younger brother decided he would actually tell mom and dad he didn't believe (I don't remember the rest of us actually saying it) Every Christmas, I still joke to him that Santa doesn't visit mom and dad's because of him (now he's 19)

 

[luvmy3]

I think I believed till I was bout 9 or 10. I figured it out but never really said anything. It got to a point where my parents understood that I knew and we had a "silent" agreement that I would not spoil it for my younger siblings. I am so glad they did not spoil it for me. I would have been heartbroken. If your older one brings it up around the younger, brush it off until you can talk to him alone about not spoiling it for the younger ones.

I'm telling my dd (I'm sure she already knows) because I don't want her ruining it for her 2 brothers. I have a feeling that if I didn't tell her not to tell them the truth, she would.

 

[GJM]

My DS 8 started to question this year about Santa - I don't admit that he isn't real and I am not going to tell him either. I asked why doesn't he think he is real and he said because it is too cold in the North Pole and nobody could live there!

 

[marcyinPA]

My DS13 came to me when he was in fourth grade and INSISTED that I tell him the truth. Oddly enough, it was EASTER when he asked about Santa But a kid at school was giving him grief about believing in Santa and he just needed to know the truth. I sat him down and gave it to him straight...about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. His reaction was "I KNEW IT!!" and was actually feeling proud to be let in on the secret. My only stipulation was that he not ruin it for his brother, who is four years younger. He's been great about playing along all these years. My youngest is 9, and still buys the Santa thing hook, line and sinker. I'd never ruin it for him. He'll figure it out soon enough.

Funny story about my nieces. The oldest told the youngest that there was no Santa. The youngest said "There HAS to be a Santa! There is NO WAY that mom and dad could afford all this stuff!"