OT: Private Schools...Yes or No...Help!!!

[dsnygirl2006]

Hi everyone
I am struggling with this decision, my DS will start Kindergarten next year and I am heavily leaning towards private schooling, however, I also am starting to lean towards public schooling....I just wondered who on here does have their kids in private schools and the pro's and con's of this....Money is not the issue, I just want to make sure I am making the right decision now and not decide after he is in school, I don't want him moving around....thanks guys

 

[lookingforward]

I have three children and used to do exclusively private schools. It is very important to pick a GOOD private school as there are many that talk a good game but don't deliver. Talk to parents, students, teachers..not just the admissions staff. Make sure you are comfortable with the size...will it be too small (like my friend who sends her daughter to a small school that only has four girls in the third grade with 14 boys). Are the teachers certified in subject areas, etc?

My kids are all in public school now because we managed to get them into wonderful magnet schools, one is in an elementary IB program, one in a fine arts middle school and another in a top high school. I have actually found the teachers more responsive in public school than private. There is more diversity in public school, too, which is a good thing for children, in my opinion.

A good private school will provide your child with more individual attention.

Good luck, I am sure you will pick the right thing for your child.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

For me- the decision would rest solely on the quality of the public school. I am a huge advocate of public education - but not at the expense of my child (I know - sounds snooty - but I'm not willing to have my own child be a guineau pig because I have certain beliefs).

As it happens, our public school in the area in which I live is one of the top in the country - so to send my children to private school would be foolish. However, just because a school is tops doesn't mean it's the right school. My son will be going to a private performing arts boarding school for high school because his abilities far outweight the opportunities that will be available to him.

In any event - I wouldn't spend the money if the quality of my child's elementary education would be equal. I'd spend it in buckets when it comes to different parts of their education as they get older.

I hope I'm making sense. Good luck!! BTW - Before we moved into our district, my oldest did private kindergarten because the district we were in wasn't quite as good and I knew of a fabulous kindergarten program - he acclimated very easily when we moved and he went into public 1st grade - so, don't worry so much if it's not a good fit either way, he can make an easy move if it's not.

Wow - long post. HTH a little.

 

[justcruisin]

DS7 is in his third year at a Catholic school. I LOVE IT.

One of the best things is that everyone is there out of CHOICE. Administrators, teachers, families. They set a higher standard and expect everyone to live up to it.

 

[TAEMom]

As others have said - be careful! Some private schools are great, some are not. We live in an excellent school district and I cannot imagine why people are willing to pay the high taxes for the schools here and then also pay to send their kids to the local Catholic school. That particular school has bigger class sizes and much less qualified teachers than the public school. Most of the teachers leave there as soon as they get a job at a public school b/c the pay is so much better. So, essentially, that school has the teachers that the public school has rejected! Meanwhile, the public school can choose the best teachers b/c they have hundreds of applicants for every vacancy.

Also, something else to keep in mind is that many private schools are not qualified to handle special needs kids, meaning kids that need to be on IEPs for any reason, however minor. Private schools are under no obligation to provide services to these kids. I know many kids that have had to return to the public school system after learning disabilities were discovered.

Having said all of that, I am certain that if we lived in an area where the education is known to be substandard as compared to the rest of the country, I am sure that I would send my children to private school.

**I'll add a disclaimer - I was a public school teacher, and come from a family of public school teachers and administrators!

 

[mrsltg]

I am biased as I am a private school mother. Our public schools are great - but they are public schools. As a previous poster said, my kid is not a guinea pig in a social experiment. This is the view of my husband and I, and your opinion and mileage will vary!

The reasons we chose private education is the ultimate accountability. If there is a problem, the teachers and the adminstration answer to me. I pay the $$$$, and as with everything in life, $$$$ talks. My dd's class, and each class in the school, K-8, has 30 students. These are hard fought positions. However, no teacher complains about class size because it is not a problem. I have sat in on my dd's class and am consistently amazed at what 30 kids in one room look like when their parents want them there and when the teacher wants each child in the room to be there.

My dd wears a uniform to school. This is important to me. It is the great equalizer as I no one can tell whose parents earn lots of money and who is there on scholarship. Even the shoes are part of the uniform. There is no distinguishing feature that points to one child having money while another child does not.

There is no social eduation aside from caring for each and every person as an individual. The focus is on traditional learning - meaning the basics are stressed. Reading, writing, and arithmetic mixed with a healthy dose of science, history, and foreign language while balancing music, art, and physical activity. The school is solely supported by tuition and the tuition is based on ability to pay. I don't mind paying extra so another child can get a top notch education that his or her parents couldn't otherwise provide. I am grateful for the ability to do this.

As others have said, look into the schools around you. Talk to other parents. Find out what makes their school great and see what best fits the needs of your child.

Good luck!!!!

 

[rlrx]

I am also a private school mom and very biased. My 2DS attend Catholic school in an area where the public schools are excellent. My biggest issue was putting my shy 5 year old into a public school where he would be in one of 6 kindergartens. At our school, he was one of 11 children in kindergarten (his class has grown since then). It's well worth the money we pay to know that the teachers and principal know me and my children very well and to feel like we're all part of one family. The downfall is all of the volunteer time we have to put in but it gets us very involved in the school and its every day function. Our school also goes to 8th grade so they won't have to go to middle school. It's a difficult decision so go with your instincts on what you feel is best for your child.

 

[The Disney Bunch]

I think this is a personal issue, not one you can ask on a bulletin board. Even if money were not an issue, I would send my kids to our public school because we have good schools. Some areas do not have good schools so people choose private school. You have to be comfortable with the choice you make. How good are your public schools? What does the private school offer that is better or different? What does the public school offer?
Check out GreatSchools to see what the differences are about the schools & what other people say.

Good luck!

 

[DawnM]

SOOOOO many things to consider.

We are thinking about next year too. The kids didn't get into the charter school I wanted them in (lottery system).

We have been hsing for the past several years so this will be their first time in school.

It finally came down to 2 factors for us:

Money (with 3 kids private could cost as much as 60K!)
Where will Mom be? (I am going back into school counseling)

So, what are YOUR factors that are must haves?

Personally, if you think the public school is good, I would try it out first. You have nothing to lose, you don't have to pay any extra, it is probably closer to you and the kids around will probably go there too.

Dawn

 

[perdidochas]

Hi everyone
I am struggling with this decision, my DS will start Kindergarten next year and I am heavily leaning towards private schooling, however, I also am starting to lean towards public schooling....I just wondered who on here does have their kids in private schools and the pro's and con's of this....Money is not the issue, I just want to make sure I am making the right decision now and not decide after he is in school, I don't want him moving around....thanks guys

It all has to do with the local schools--both public and private.

 

[carone0318]

I have 2 children in the catholic school system in our area. DD (10) is in 5th grade and the school is fantastic for her. DS (6) is in K this yr and it has not been good. We are pulling him next year and putting him in the public school.

As a PP has mentioned the Catholic school rarely handles kids with learning problems, well I also found out that they don't do too much for the other end either, the kids that are bright and advanced (not necessarily gifted, but need to be challenged beyond K material).

DD is the average student who is doing wonderfully at the school and I have loved the school up to this year. Now this yr I am frustrated because of ds and how they choose to handle my ds. It's a shame when I have to send extra work in for him to work on because he is bored and with bordem comes trouble! I am actually excited that he won't be going back to school until Tuesday, 5/1 because he just had his tonsils out yesterday and is excused from school. I don't have to hear about anything else going wrong!

I guess my point is just because one school is right for one child, doesn't mean it is right for the entire family!

 

[lovmy2girls]

Ours are in private school because our public school system here stinks.

 

[perdidochas]

Ours are in private school because our public school system here stinks.

The system in Pensacola doesn't stink. It's the individual schools. The better schools are as good as private schools. The worst schools are pretty bad.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I am biased as I am a private school mother. Our public schools are great - but they are public schools. As a previous poster said, my kid is not a guinea pig in a social experiment. This is the view of my husband and I, and your opinion and mileage will vary!

The reasons we chose private education is the ultimate accountability. If there is a problem, the teachers and the adminstration answer to me. I pay the $$$$, and as with everything in life, $$$$ talks. My dd's class, and each class in the school, K-8, has 30 students. These are hard fought positions. However, no teacher complains about class size because it is not a problem. I have sat in on my dd's class and am consistently amazed at what 30 kids in one room look like when their parents want them there and when the teacher wants each child in the room to be there.

My dd wears a uniform to school. This is important to me. It is the great equalizer as I no one can tell whose parents earn lots of money and who is there on scholarship. Even the shoes are part of the uniform. There is no distinguishing feature that points to one child having money while another child does not.

There is no social eduation aside from caring for each and every person as an individual. The focus is on traditional learning - meaning the basics are stressed. Reading, writing, and arithmetic mixed with a healthy dose of science, history, and foreign language while balancing music, art, and physical activity. The school is solely supported by tuition and the tuition is based on ability to pay. I don't mind paying extra so another child can get a top notch education that his or her parents couldn't otherwise provide. I am grateful for the ability to do this.

As others have said, look into the schools around you. Talk to other parents. Find out what makes their school great and see what best fits the needs of your child.

Good luck!!!!

Very fine post. Mine are homeschooled, but when my oldest was in K, we felt much the same.

 

[momto2girls]

I am biased as I am a private school mother. Our public schools are great - but they are public schools. As a previous poster said, my kid is not a guinea pig in a social experiment. This is the view of my husband and I, and your opinion and mileage will vary!

The reasons we chose private education is the ultimate accountability. If there is a problem, the teachers and the adminstration answer to me. I pay the $$$$, and as with everything in life, $$$$ talks. My dd's class, and each class in the school, K-8, has 30 students. These are hard fought positions. However, no teacher complains about class size because it is not a problem. I have sat in on my dd's class and am consistently amazed at what 30 kids in one room look like when their parents want them there and when the teacher wants each child in the room to be there.

My dd wears a uniform to school. This is important to me. It is the great equalizer as I no one can tell whose parents earn lots of money and who is there on scholarship. Even the shoes are part of the uniform. There is no distinguishing feature that points to one child having money while another child does not.

There is no social eduation aside from caring for each and every person as an individual. The focus is on traditional learning - meaning the basics are stressed. Reading, writing, and arithmetic mixed with a healthy dose of science, history, and foreign language while balancing music, art, and physical activity. The school is solely supported by tuition and the tuition is based on ability to pay. I don't mind paying extra so another child can get a top notch education that his or her parents couldn't otherwise provide. I am grateful for the ability to do this.

As others have said, look into the schools around you. Talk to other parents. Find out what makes their school great and see what best fits the needs of your child.

Good luck!!!!

Great post! I homeschool, but if I ever send mine to school, it will be to private school. I'm just not a fan of the public school system. The schools in my area are supposedly "excellent" but I know that I'd still be displeased with them. Our family just doesn't belong in that institution.

OP-- You really need to go with your gut. As you can tell, everyone here has their own very strong opinions and we're not all going to agree!

 

[dhardawa]

I think it completely depends on the quality of your public schools. Our public schools where we live are excellent so I put my daughter in them. Also, all of our private schools are church run and I don't want her in a church run school. If the quality of your public schools is questionable or the private schools are significantly better, private might be the way to go. I don't think there is an across the board answer though.

 

[jakenjess]

I totally agree with those who say it depends on the quality of schools in your area. My kids have gone to Catholic school since K, and we're very happy with it. One of the major factors in our decision, though, was the fact that DH and I definitely didn't want the kids attending the public middle school in our district, and I didn't want them changing schools in sixth grade from public to private. You also have to take into consideration what's important outside of the strict academics. Athletics, music, arts, technology, gifted and talented and/or special services, class size, religious instruction, etc. All schools will have their strengths and weaknesses. We do make some trade-offs with the small size of the school, there aren't many "extras" but for our family it works.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[SmallWorld71]

While I am a public school teacher and a firm believer in the public school system who sends her kids to public school, I think this is a debate with no answer because the private/ public schools vary so much throughout the country. I would be a fool if I sent my kids to private school in my area because they would be sure to get less of an education.
So, to the OP, since you said $ isn't the issue, I would consider all your options and go with your gut. Most schools do welcoming type activities for incoming K students (if they don't a red flag should go up). Go to the different activities and see what kind of a feel you get. Ask the teachers about their programs. Go in with a friendly attitude and you will likely learn a lot. What feels right to you, is probably the right thing to do. Good luck.

 

[aes74]

There are some really excellent posts here, and good advice in all. I think you really need to do some detective work. What do you want for your kid? For your family. I actually know a few families where one child attends public high school and the other attends private high school. The kids had different needs and wanted pursue programs the other school didn't have.

Do your research. What are the kids like? The parents? Is it a cheapy private school where the teachers aren't great because they get paid so little? Or is it such an elite school your child's personality might not fit in with that sort of social and academic pressure? Talk to parents. Seek out the options in your area. What are the extracurricular activities? What are the family activities? What are the matriculation rates? We have an expensive private school in the area where the kids matriculate to the same state schools at the same rate of the public schools...so what are you paying for? That said, there are some phenomenal, diverse private schools out there as well.

After doing my research we chose a top rated magnet (public-elementary) school where 2/3 of the families are there by choice, they loop every two years, wear uniforms, work with the Sarasota Film Festival, the parent association raises about $200,000 a year, they learn Spanish every day in school and have such various extra-curricular activites as golf, academic teams, and Irish dancing. We couldn't be happier. We chose that over a private school in our area, that is a good school, but it's lily-white, no diversity, not much in extras, they don't do well with struggling students and the parents are really show-offy and like to live through their kids. It just wasn't a good match for our family.

And that's the bottom line: what is the right choice for your child? You know better than anyone. The only thing I oppose in this thread is the thought that a child is a guinea pig in a social experiment in a public school. Some public schools simply are not good for various reasons and would not be a good match for your family. I taught in a very impoverished area in a public school and gave my heart and soul to it. There were no "experiments" going on.

Good luck! It's a journey, and we try so hard to do the best for our kids. I know you will too!

 

[shelly3girls]

I will not repeat what others have said b/c I think you realize by now how the quality of schools matter the most. Private does not necessarily mean better, but it can. We had our children in private school and I am grateful for the early start but by 2nd grade the private leveled off so we made the change.

I will add that I think (in my very limited experience) that an advanced private school is most important for the average student. Below average students need the services of public school. Above average students will often thrive no matter where they are and often public schools offer more variety and resources for these top students. I am sure this varies in other areas but in the areas I am familiar with the very bright students who succeed basically have their choice of colleges. If my child turns out average I will want her in an advanced school with all of the "notoriety" so that she will have a better chance at getting into the better colleges.