OT: Potty Training...NEED HELP!

BlondeAlligator

DIS Veteran
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Oct 7, 2005
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Has anyone had this problem?

Autistic DD just turned 4...we have tried and tried to potty train her since age 2...on and off for 2 years now...

This week we began again in earnest...she is wearing underwear at home & keeping them dry beautifully! The problem is that she hasn't yet peed in the potty...she just holds it for hours and hours! I put her in a diaper at naptime & bedtime...it doesn't matter what she drinks or how long she has to wait...she just waits for that diaper. Yesterday she held it for 7 hours!!!!!

HELP!

Now what am I supposed to do? I'm so fristrated & at my wits end. Any advice would be so helpful...

Allison
 
How frustrating. My dd has Down syndrome and 2 things really worked. One -- baby bjorn that pees. Getting her dolly to pee on the potty was fun and then we "copied." We did this in conjunction with LOTS of Water and nakedness in the house, putting her on the potty (a little one since big ones scared her originally) every 1/2 hour and she sat there for 10 minutes. I would run the bathroom water, and finally had success with pouring lukewarm water on her as she sat on the potty -- it gave her the sensation of peeing and she couldn't help it then, LOL .

Once she had the idea, we were trained fully in just 2 days.

Good luck!
 
Do you have a little potty seat? If so have you tried moveing it out of the bathroom? My daughter is not autistic but she was very afraid of the bathroom. Nothing worked untill my Mom said, "why don't you try putting the potty seat in another room?" Three kids and I had never thought of that.
 

Get the book "Potty training in one day." It is awesome. It has so much info. It tells you to give them salty snacks with drink they will love to force them to drink more, paooy doll, spend one day in kitchen.........It was a life saver for me. I had all six kids in undies by 2. Would not have happened without this book!
 
Are you using a potty? My son found the plastic seat too hard and uncomfortable. We got a squishy seat that sits on top of the regular toilet and he was much happier.

You can buy them at any baby store like babies r us or buy buy baby. Even Bed Bath & Beyond carries them. They usually have some characters on them like Dora or Elmo.

HTH
 
Maybe she's just not ready yet. My DS6 has a seizure disorder and PDD and he didn't train until he was almost 5. We kept encouraging him but most of the time he just went in his pull-ups before we could catch him. He was so big by the time he trained that he needed to wear the good-nites brand, he out grew diapers and regular pull-ups. He went from one extreme to the other, on a Friday he was going in his pants, Saturday he started to go on the potty and was trained. He had few accidents after that but mostly when he was "too busy" to go to the bathroom.

Don't get frustrated, your daughter will train when she's ready. We never thought he'd potty train (in fact I felt he'd be in diapers forever) and when he finally did it was amazing.
 
What would happen if you didn't use the pull-ups for naps? :confused3 She'd probably just wet herself. She obviously understands the concept of holding it. I think you have to break the nap barrier to fix this. If she isn't ready to give up naps, then put water-proof sheets on her bed and stop with the pull-ups. Let her be wet a few times, see if that gets her attention.

I used finz2left's method with both my older children and it workd great. DS11 has been harder--he has a lot of brain damage and functions at the level of a 1yo. However, we have been able to trip-train him, :thumbsup2 taking him to the potty every 90 min. He rarely has accidents now. We use heavy-duty diapers at night because he doesn't wake up or have the urge to go then. :confused3
 
hiya,

i work in a school for autistic kids and have toilet trained LOTS of autistic kids when working in the nursery. our aim is always for the children to be toilet trained by the time they leave nursery (age 4). on the whole 95% of the time we achieve this.

basically we ensure the kids wear just underpants and a top as they feel when they are weeing better than when they are wearing trousers. we also give the kids salty snacks (as mentioned in previous post) as this makes them very thirsty, ready salted crisps tend to work well. another thing we do is use coke. this is something that normally i keep the kids away from butfor toilet training it is a godsend!! the kids love it, they drink more of it than squash/cordial and it 'goes through them' quicker. if you really don't want to use coke you could try using juice eg orange juice or apple juice as this goes through quicker than squash/cordial too, just not quite as motivating for the kids and not quite as effective. i tend to give the kids a masive drink, as much as they will drink then watch them for 20 minutes/half hour.

then they get put on the toilet and there we sit, for as long as possible!! we sing, do puzzles, read books, anything that holds their interest - but i reserve their very favourite activity/reward for when they finally do a wee on the toilet, then they get cheers, hugs, fave toys sweets etc.

the thing with the pants too is to keep an eye on them, if the child is desperate for the toilet they may 'leak' a little, light coloured pants are easier to spot the first drop and then you can whisk them off to the toilet.

if you child is holding their wee until their nappy i would suggest you either - refuse to put a nappy on even at nap time and then they will have to wet and then maybe they will wet when awake and you try and get them on the loo. or you could try taking nappy off in morn then after, say, an hour, take them to the toilet and put the nappy on, sit them on the toilet and insist they stay on there for at least 10 minutes or until they do a wee in the nappy. basically they can wee in the nappy but they have to be on the toilet. don't put a nappy on at any other time tho. then the trick is, when they will wee in the nappy onthe toilet you do it but with one tab undone, when they crack this you do it with both tabs undone. then you push the nappy into the toilet so they wee onto it, eventually you will be able to take the napy away.

oh and lastly, i always toilet train on the toilet not a potty as that way they only have to learn it once, otherwise you have to teach to wee on the potty and then to transfer to the toilet.

hth
 
tiggerUK said:
oh and lastly, i always toilet train on the toilet not a potty as that way they only have to learn it once, otherwise you have to teach to wee on the potty and then to transfer to the toilet.

hth

Great post tiggerUK. This is an especially good point. Some autistic kids have great difficulty generalizing.They may learn to go on a potty seat, but they when they encounter a different seat at school or the mall, it's like they've never seen it before. You have to train them all over again for THAT particular seat. So cut to the chase and just sit them on the regular toilet from the start. :thumbsup2
 
I used a kitchen timer to remind Me that it was time to take them to the potty. At first, I'd set it for about 20 min. When the timer rang, well it's time to go. Even if nothing was accomplished, that was okay. Blank out a couple of days where you don't have to go anywhere. Lot's of liquids, popcicles were great as they didn't realize they were getting liquid. You can make some out of their favorite juice, so it's not all sugar! Also, it's harder to hold in the poo if you're drinking a lot of liquid. Also, you have to watch them all the time, because as soon as you turn your back, they'll go "hide" and do it some place else!
 
I think of potty training as two equally important parts -- the peeing on the potty part, and the not peeing at other times part. For most kids the second part is much harder, so I'd say you're more than 1/2 way there.

If you had a boy I'd say the next step is easy. Load them up with fluid one day, take off the diaper and go play outside (or stay inside if you don't have wall to wall carpeting!) -- when they start to pee try and catch them midstream and carry them to the potty. For DS it was like magic -- all of a sudden he realized how easy it was to put the pee where it was supposed to go! For many kids the light bulb goes off and they're ready to go every time.

With a girl, well I think it depends on how dedicated you are to this -- moving a girl who is peeing is a little more "risky" if you know what I mean.

Depending on how verbal your daughter is, another option is a really big bribe. For some kids once they go once they're over the big hump (I know DS was that way, plus plenty of the kids I teach). So rather than giving lots of little reinforcers for every pee (which can become kind of tiring and habit forming) give a big reinforcer for the first success and then let nature take it's course.
 
A thing that always worked was when the child was sitting on the toilet/potty, stroking the base of their spine (just at/above the 'cleft' :blush: ) tends to work the same as the lukewarm water mentioned earlier. It's much the same as some animals do to their offspring to make them urinate....something to do with nerve endings.
 
Sorry, long post warning ahead.

I can totally relate to your potty training isues. My DD(5) is PDD-NOS. I tried to potty train her last February right before she turned 5 and I had the same problems. She would hold her pee and poo until I put pull-ups on her for bed or for running errands to the store. We did get her to pee on the potty some but she preferred the pull-ups because they are just glorified diapers.

SO, this past June after school was out I made a bigger committment to the potty training. First off, no pull-ups, no errands, no distractions, no compromising were my mantras. I only did errands when my husband was home or I sent him for groceries or asked neighbors to pick up emergency items on their trips to the store so that I would not have to worry about her peeing in public. I also racked my brain for an incentive and remembered what her teacher had told me that at school they try to capitalize on a child's strengths to help overcome their weaknesses. My DD is very visually oriented and is always interested in everything she can see. I went to the store and bought small peepee prizes and larger poopoo prizes (little animals, candy bars,balls, cars, etc. from Target, Walmart, and the dollar store) and I wrapped all the peepee prizes and put them in a peepee prize bag and then I put the poopoo prizes in individual "prize bags". Because she could not see the prizes, she would be more motivated by the unknown. If they know what the prize is going to be, they will weigh the options of completing the task against the value of the prize.

I started potty training by explaining that today we throw away all the diapers and today she will be a big girl like mama and her sister and make peepees and poopoos on the potty. (I made sure to remove all diapers, pull-ups, and wipes from her sight and show her the new drawer of big girl panties) I only let her wear panties and a shirt. The first time she peed on herself she cried (good thing) and I cleaned her up and showed her the peepee prize bag explaining how to get the prize. I gave her lots of juice, waited an hour, and sat her on the potty. She peed and got her first prize,(she was very excited) The next time, she wet her panties some and some in the potty...no prize. ALL has to be in the potty for prize. (she cried--good thing) The peepee prizes ran out after about 4 days but by then she didn't always remember them anyway because I would start to wisk her away for "fun" handwashing.(letting her play in the sink water with toys) Over the next week she became 80% potty trained and stayed that way for about a month. She had an accident every 2 or 3 days either on the bathroom floor or in her bed at night. (I just keep a waterproof mattress cover on her bed and wash all the bedding if she wets) For nighttime, I have found to restrict her liquids giving her no milk products after 5pm and only sips of water after 7pm and that has drastically cut down her peepee accidents overnight. She is now 100% for daytime and 90% overnight.

As for poopoos...took much longer. She would poop in her panties some times 3 a day or she would hold it for a couple of days. After a week and a half...I had enough. I realized she was scared to let go of her bowels on the toilet. After she held it for 2 days (please no flames), I took her to the bathroom for peepees and when I went to wipe her I asked her to bend over all the way and touch the floor...then I gave her a liquid enema. Yes, she cried and whined on the potty for 10 or 15 minutes that it hurt and after much reassuring that the hurt would go away after she put her poopoos into the potty...walla--poops in the potty. She got her first poopoo prize. After that, she would start to push the poops into her panties but then go to the potty to "finish" but didn't get another prize for 4 or 5 days until it was all in the potty. She has had no poopoo accidents since that week.

Although I still have to wash her wet sheets once a week or so and wipe her after toileting, I consider it a success. Just hang in there. If need be, take a 2 week break and start over fresh with her. Good luck :thumbsup2
 











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