OT - please share your potty-accident experiences and advice PLEASE!

[las3888]

We are on our 3rd round of potty training and I really hope to stay the course this time (we are faced with a preschool potty requirement for end of summer). DS is 3 1/4. We went most of this past week without diapers, and only a pull up when we left the house for a few hours. We had a mixed week...some good successes, some accidents around the house, but dry pull-ups for much of the time too. We are now flying without a net so-to-speak...no diapers at all anymore (except night-time). We had a pee accident at church today and both #1 and #2 accidents yesterday in the driveway. I know this is par for the course, but I was just wondering if you can share your best accident stories with me...I was thinking it would help me to realize that we aren't the only ones out there to ever go through this!

Also, any advice is appreciated. We have tried really just about everything (rewards, charts, stickers, jelly bean for success, cheerios in the toilet to aim at, toilet ring seats for big potties, having him help me clean up the accident, you name it). We are at the point where DS won't tell us when he has to go and anytime you ask him, it's NO. I have planned potty sits throughout the day and sometimes we have success there. He has never gone outside the home either. He won't sit on a big potty...I have bought a small portable potty and he won't sit on that either. I just don't know how to help him make the connection of feeling like he has to go, and letting me know.

Thanks for listening!

PS - any items for accidents other than an extra set of clothes , wipes and plastic bags that you can think that I might need--I am trying to be armed and ready for the week (s) ahead

 

[Mouse House Mama]

For us the best way that was successful was to not make a big deal about it all day. Of course when they went we would dance and celebrate and hug and high five but we would not make it the entire focus of our day. Right now our 2 year old is training. He wears underwear all day. Diapers at night (he doesn't like pullups). If it has been a few hours I will tell him to go give it a try (and gently insist if I have to- I'll race you to the bathroom etc.) I also tell everyone they have to go before we go out anywhere. When all you do is focus on the potty all day long it just stresses them out. Just make it part of your day. Good luck!

 

[3goofyboys]

For us the best way that was successful was to not make a big deal about it all day.
When all you do is focus on the potty all day long it just stresses them out.

I totally agree with this! My DS is very sensitive about doing things incorrectly and when we tried to hit potty training fast and hard he gave up completely. We decided to put it on the back burner, he had "pee trained" himself within 2 weeks. For him, there has to be zero pressure or it isn't going to happen!
Now, my best accident story... as I mentioned above, DS is pee trained, but won't poop in the potty. 3 times in the past two weeks, I've gone upstairs to get him up only to find poop smeared all over him, his floor, his clothes. We finally had to put him in clothes he can't possibly get out of to stop the madness. Any day that starts with your two year old yelling "Mommy, where are you, I've got poop in my hand" is not going to be a good one!

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

I know that you will remember not to let your child drink before bed...but here is another one...NO WATERMELON BEFORE BED! We learned that the hardway during our last Disney vaca. DD had been pottytrained for over a year at that point with very rare nighttime accidents. Well, one night, she got ready for bed, went potty, and then started complaining that she "still hungry." We had some watermelon in the fridge leftover from breakfast so we gave her that. Totally forget about the "water" part of watermelon!

Let's just say that 1) I'm glad Disney puts SOOOO many layers of sheets/blankets on their beds and that DD was on top of them all and 2) I left a REALLY big tip for Mousekeeping the next morning!

 

[ctmom123]

We used potty training rewards to potty train our son. He loved the push button hearing he is a Big Boy. It made him feel really involved. There is also doors to open to get a chocolate treat which our son of course loved. But I really believe the push button did the trick. He stills runs around after using the potty and pushing the button saying he is a Big Boy. He was peeing and pooping in his potty within a week. I know you have trie a lot of things, but have a look and see if this would work for you. Go to potty training rewards .com Use them as one word. Good Luck!

 

[las3888]

We used potty training rewards to potty train our son. He loved the push button hearing he is a Big Boy. It made him feel really involved. There is also doors to open to get a chocolate treat which our son of course loved. But I really believe the push button did the trick. He stills runs around after using the potty and pushing the button saying he is a Big Boy. He was peeing and pooping in his potty within a week. I know you have trie a lot of things, but have a look and see if this would work for you. Go to potty training rewards .com Use them as one word. Good Luck!

Is this like the staples button or something? Is it rewards.com? Thanks for the tip...after having read so many threads...seems like every child latches onto one particular thing as their movitator, but it's finding that thing for your one child that is the problem!!!

Thanks for the other posters for advice. I will definitely try to not make potty the 'all day' event and try to be more laid back. I definitely agree that is important.

I am just glad to hear from you posters as I am just looking to keep my sense of humor up. I was at church and DS was on the altar for 'children's moment'...I knew he had to go, but he wouldn't go when we led him to all available potties. I just sat there and kept picturing him pottying at the front of the altar at church...I was thinking...I wonder what would happen...would the whole service stop while I mopped up the floor with my wipes or what? It was funny and scary at the same time ...luckily, he waited until Sunday school during musical chairs for his accident!! When I got called in to help clean up...DS tells me..."I don't really like musical chairs"...

 

[TravelinGal]

I used the 3 day potty training e-book http://www.3daypottytraining.com

It worked VERY well for us. Our son was 28 months old and on the 4th day we were out in public without diapers/pull ups and no accidents.

The biggest thing for me, when he had a b.m. accident, was to have him watch me clean up his underpants. I did a lot of the ewwww.. yucky type stuff, but I didn't say anything that was negative TO/ABOUT HIM.
"Look what mommy has to do to clean the pants. Oh, they are stinky. Yucky"... etc. Never ever did I say he or the accident was bad etc

We did not push the nighttime training, which the gal pushes in her e-book, but for the rest, it worked really well for us.

Since that time, we've only had 2 accidents when we were out. One was when we were stuck in traffic (last mothers day - 2007) and couldn't get to an exit on the highway -- and because it was a construction zone, we couldn't even pull to the side of the road and let him go. The other was at WDW after MNSSHP (also 2007). He passed out in his stroller and when we got to the car he was sitting in a flood zone. He was SO upset that he had wet himself. He was stripped from the waist down and he started crying in the car that he had to go again. Well, the boy had no pants to wear! So we pulled to the side of the road (near the car service center as you head out of the parks) and he went in the grass. I know... but we couldn't take a half naked kid into the gas station, could we? LOL It was just pee after all.
(btw - the stroller came apart easily and went in the clothes washer and dryer that night. Was ready to go the next morning!)

Since then we've had 2 occasions when we've had to stop the car somewhere and hit the side of the road, but no further accidents.

Probably the first 6 months of potty training I kept a pair of pants, underwear and socks in the car in a ziplock bag just in case. Never had to use them with the exception of the Mother's Day traffic incident. They stayed in the car though. I did not carry them around with me.

I still carry a small package of the toddler wipes in my purse (they are flushable - baby wipes are NOT supposed to be flushed!) because they are handy in general and he still likes a wet wipe when he has a b.m. in public restrooms.

 

[sdoll]

I just wanted to let you know I feel your pain. I have not even really started to try with my son. He will be 3 in July. We talk about it a lot but he is not interested. I am not going to push it. I figured this summer he can run around naked (at home) and he will learn with that. Obviously with a bit more focus. But he knows he has to be potty trained to go to school with the big kids. A lady at Dillards asked him how old he was today. His answer let me know that he was aware. Its sort of long and rambling like a you would expect from a boy his age... "almost 3 getting ready for school with big kids have to go potty on the big potty first like mommy, daddy, grandpa, grandma... and about 15 other people he knows that go on the big boy potty. It was the first time he said that so I thought it was cute. Good luck I will keep my fingers crossed so our boys are ready for pre-school.

 

[RMulieri]

Truthfully, we has so many issues with potty training and using pull-ups that finally, i threw out all diapers and pull ups and put DD in undies( we did this over a Sat and Sun).She peed her pants 2x and hated the sensation.from that point on she went on the potty.Yes, it was a pain in the patoot having to pretty much do bathroom runs for the weekend and stay at home.But My dd's problem was she was too distracted..She did not want to stop playing,watching tv, coloring etc to go on the potty.She liked the pull ups because she could do her buisness and then put a new pull up on herself.She was 31/2 at the time and i don't regret in the least how I handled it, never had an accident after that.I realize this does not work for everyone, but after several months of training the pediatrician recommended this approach.

 

[StitchFanZ]

I ran into this when my son was 3 as well. If he wanted to go to preschool then he needed to be potty trained. He knew this and later on I figured out it was his way of letting me know he wasn't ready for preschool. He went to preschool at 4 and had a great experience. At 3, he was totally content to be at home.
He was also very logical, so I finally asked him when he was going to go on the potty all the time. He picked a date. When that time came I reminded him of his decision and from that time forward he went on the potty.

 

[Tam1067]

Please relax. When he's ready, he'll learn in 1 or 2 days. When he's not ready, he will have accidents repeatedly.

I learned the hard way with my oldest who took the longest and had the most accidents. I tried, bribed, pleaded, and it didn't work until HE decided he was ready.

My next two were super easy because I said, "When you're ready to wear underwear and get rid of the diapers, let me know"--and they both did and were trained within a weekend. My poor oldest had to teach me how to train a kid, and he taught me that Mom can't train a kid!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Please relax. When he's ready, he'll learn in 1 or 2 days. When he's not ready, he will have accidents repeatedly.
I learned the hard way with my oldest who took the longest and had the most accidents. I tried, bribed, pleaded, and it didn't work until HE decided he was ready.

My next two were super easy because I said, "When you're ready to wear underwear and get rid of the diapers, let me know"--and they both did and were trained within a weekend. My poor oldest had to teach me how to train a kid, and he taught me that Mom can't train a kid!

This is the truth. I never pressured and we never had potty drama.

 

[Princess Roo]

Only thing to add is that one thing that has helped us with getting DS to try to go potty when he was younger (was into his toys or whatever) is that I set a timer and told him when the timer went off it was time to go potty. (That also worked for us for when we went outside to play...when the timer goes off we had to go inside. I would bring it out and act like I was setting it then, but then just set it for 2 minutes later when I wanted us to go back in.) For some reason, his terrible-two-year-old self seemed to believe that it's one of those rules that can't be argued with, or something, while if I just said it it would often cause a temper tantrum or resisting.

Good luck! There are so many theories out there, and I agree it's just a matter of finding the right "currency" for your child. Turns out our DS would do anything for an animal cracker. We have been super-lucky and haven't had any accidents in public in the whole year he has been trained. (We do always have him go right before we leave the house.) After your story, I'm always going to be just a little bit nervous during children's church, though

 

[shelly36]

I used the 3 day potty training e-book http://www.3daypottytraining.com

It worked VERY well for us.

I used this with our 6th child and wished I had used it for the previous 5. I followed her advice closely and within 48 hours, my 22 month old was trained - day and night. She's had a few random accidents, but it was a breeze compared to my others who were almost 3 by the time they "got it."

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I used this with our 6th child and wished I had used it for the previous 5. I followed her advice closely and within 48 hours, my 22 month old was trained - day and night. She's had a few random accidents, but it was a breeze compared to my others who were almost 3 by the time they "got it."

Not flaming at all but your child may have just been ready. Kids bodies have to develop so no amount of training will help at night if their body is not ready.

 

[bgirl29]

My pediatrician once told me that if you have to watch the clock and make sure that your child gets to the bathroom on time you are the one that is trained not the child. Just sayin.

My oldest daughter was just terrible to train. She was almost 3 and would sometimes go on her small potty and sometimes just wet herself. Also if she was naked she would just scream that she wanted a diaper or pullup. After trying for quite awhile to get her to always go on the potty I finally decided to just put it away and wait for her. I told her that she could use diapers as long as she wanted to but I was tired of seeing her potty sitting on the floor of the bathroom with her hardly using it. Well of course as soon as I put it away she kept asking for it. I told her no I wasnt going to get it back out for awhile. While this was going on my sister was over for a visit and when my daughter wasnt looking I was motioning for my sister to go get it. My sister put it back in the bathroom and my daughter used her potty. The next time she used the big toilet and after that she used the big toilet for everything and never had any accidents. I think she just had to make her own decision as to when she was ready.

Good luck I know that this is such a hard thing to deal with, I hope you can find the right thing for your family.

 

[bartleby1]

Please relax. When he's ready, he'll learn in 1 or 2 days. When he's not ready, he will have accidents repeatedly.

I learned the hard way with my oldest who took the longest and had the most accidents. I tried, bribed, pleaded, and it didn't work until HE decided he was ready.

My next two were super easy because I said, "When you're ready to wear underwear and get rid of the diapers, let me know"--and they both did and were trained within a weekend. My poor oldest had to teach me how to train a kid, and he taught me that Mom can't train a kid!

Mom of 3 here, and I absolutely agree with this 100%! My oldest trained fairly quickly so I didn't understand the potty training problems that some have. My second child taught me a big lesson that until the child is ready, no amount of effort on my part will help, LOL! After beating my head against the wall, I gave up - and told him that! I told him that his big boy undies were on his dresser and he should let me know when he was ready (and I'm quite embarrassed to say that I did NOT say that nicely - not one of my prouder mommy moments). A few weeks later, he came downstairs with undies in his hand and told me that he's ready today. Well, he never had an accident after that.

My third trained herself. I thought she was too young so I kind of pushed it off because I didn't want to deal with the accidents and pointless effort since she wasn't even 2-1/2 yet, but she decided she was done with diapers and would go into her room, remove her diaper, and put big girl undies on, LOL! No accidents from her either.

A child who continues to have accidents isn't ready. And if you constantly have to remind them to go, they aren't ready.

ETA: One thing that someone advised for me to carry in my car at all times is a small potty. I still carry one for me 3-1/2 year old for times when there aren't any bathrooms around (she refuses to use port-a-johns). I keep a stack of diapers in the car and turn one inside out and place it in the potty with the absorbant side face up. This way, when she pees, the diaper absorbs it and there is no mess left in the potty.

 

[bellebud]

I'll just share my story to make you feel a little better...

dd (my first) just before she turned 2yo, jumped on the toilet and stated she would use it, we had the "underwear fairy" come and visit (my mom dressed up) and bring underwear and a huge sticker chart, and take her diapers away (I used cloth), and that was pretty much it. I really had nothing to do with it. DD was done, except for nighttime, which wasn't 100% till about 5yo. She wore pull ups at night, and she only peed once every few months overnight, but we had a family bed, so I liked the pull ups so everyone wasn't disturbed if she peed and I would have needed to clean up in the middle of the night. If dd had been in her own little bed, I would have had her in underwear w/ mattress protectors from probably 3yo.

Then comes ds, who at 16 months old shows me all the time how he can hold his pee in, and pee in the toilet when he wants to, start it and stop it, etc, and can and will sometimes poop in the toilet when he wants to (key words... WANTS TO). Silly me thought "oh good, he'll be around 2yo too". (that's not me laughing, that's God laughing at me).

Fast forward to 3 3/4yo - ds is FINALLY trained! My goodness, that had to be the l-o-n-g-e-s-t potty training period in the history of the world! 2 full years!!! I kid you not! I tried every single thing I ever read or heard (except my mil saying if it were her, she'd spank him when he had an accident ) Anyway, cloth diapers, pampers, pull ups, naked, underwear, NOTHING worked with my ds. Every reward, every chart, every cheerio-in-the-toilet-trick, ignoring it, clapping when he did good... I could go on and on and on and on! He had the body/mind connection and muscle control very early - he just wasn't going to do it all the time, and that was that!

SO, I have no advice on "how" to potty train, but I do want to share something I've recently discovered... I've been reading Dr. Phil's book "Family First", and in it there's a part on what type of parenting style each person has (permissive, equalitarian and authoritarian), and what type of personality each of your children have (passive, cooperative and rebellious), and what works well w/ each other, and what to do when you have clashing types. My dd is cooperative, and ds is rebellious. NOTHING was going to work w/ rebellious ds, while many things probably would have worked w/ cooperative dd. DS was going to do this on his own terms, no matter what. I could have given him a trip to disney as a reward, and it wouldn't have worked. DS is now 6 (soon to be 7), and I'm so glad I finally realize all this. I was just talking to dh about this today, and how giving ds more 'room' than we give dd is a good thing for everyone in our family. DS 'needs' to make his own mistakes, pretty much 100% of the time, and we'll just be there in the background to help him when he falls. DD often asks for instruction and really listens and tries to impliment what she's been told, and that works for her really well. DS shuts down, ignores, gets angry, etc, when we try to give him instructions. Of course, there are some things you can't bend on, like learning to ride his new 4-wheeler... he has to listen or he can't ride it. But on things that aren't major safety issues, giving ds space is his best teacher. And thinking back on all of ds's milestones, accomplishments, and just day to day living, this is how he's always worked best and accomplished the most. He taught himself how to swim because I put him in one of those floats-built-in-the-swimsuit spiderman bathingsuits, and set him free in the pool. With dd, we and an instructor held her and taught her, she listened and learned well. So if dh and myself become more "permissive" in our parenting style w/ ds, he'll function better, learn more, be more agreeable (I'm equalitarian, so I'm half way there anyway - dh is more authoritarian, so he's got a lot of tongue-biting to do). My mom was permissive, and that worked very well for me growing up. And permissive doesn't mean wishy-washy in any way... it means allowing the child more freedom w/in wider boundries you set, being accepting and supportive. But if I gave dd this much freedom, she'd probably flounder around a bit, instead of imbracing it like ds does. Even last night, as I put ds to bed, he told me he wants to make a behavior chart for himself, and he'll put a star for a good day, and an X for a bad day, then put himself in a time out if he has too many X's. I said "you can just put stars and not put X's if you want" (thinking about all the parenting advice i read on focusing on the good and more or less ignoring the bad), but he said "nope! I'll put X's if I've made a bad day, and I'll have a 2 hour time out in my room" (we'll see how that holds up - LOL). But the point is, dd would enjoy us doing a chart together, while ds wants me to have nothing to do with it. He's in charge! And what's funny is, mil (the potty training spanker - authoritarian all the way) and ds have ALWAYS butted heads, from when ds was a young toddler. Dr. Phil says this dyad is the most frustrating one to deal with, and I've seen it for years, but never knew why.

Sorry so long-winded... I just thought it's all so interesting and true and it's already helped me w/ ds in just day to day living and understanding him more. And if it helps anyone w/ potty training, that's great!

 

[bellebud]

One thing that someone advised for me to carry in my car at all times is a small potty. I still carry one for me 3-1/2 year old for times when there aren't any bathrooms around (she refuses to use port-a-johns). I keep a stack of diapers in the car and turn one inside out and place it in the potty with the absorbant side face up. This way, when she pees, the diaper absorbs it and there is no mess left in the potty.

just wanted to add... we had a potty in the back of our suv for a long time, and lined it w/ dollar store garbage bags, so no mess to clean up in the potty. worked well for years!

 

[crisi]

Agree that when he is ready, it will be done. Until then, you are just causing yourself unneeded stress.

Rules for potty training,

At 3 or so, see your peditrician if they haven't trained to rule out anything physical.

Unless it is something physical, they all get out of diapers by college

You'll look back on this when they are six and wonder why you stressed

At some point, it becomes less about being physically ready than emotionally ready. If you've crossed that line, you may wish to get expert advice from a child psychologist (this is the four plus year old simply refusing to leave diapers behind.)

Whatever works, it will be the last thing you try, then you will tell everyone "I know what works!" Completely ignoring the likely probability that it was simply time.

If you child has accidents more than "once every six weeks" or "when they are ill" - (because kids do have rare accidents when distracted or ill - even grownups can have rare accidents when distracted or ill) - they are either not actually potty trained or they've given birth and lost bladder control. Once they are trained, there will be almost no accidents.