OT: "OMG! Your Mom Has A Tongue Ring!"

[xoprincessmomxo]

Get your tat!!! I have one with more in the works and my husband (a guitar player, go figure) has a few. We are not into the whole piercing thing, but have no problem with them. As for being a hypocrite, you aren't! Trust me. Legally, at least in my state, you can't get pierced or inked untill you are 18. So it's not just you telling her no. It's the government.

And as for people thinking that it's not in the "societal norm"...there is no norm anymore. And I personally want my child to aspire to be whomever (within reason) they want to be. They can be pierced, inked, skater, preppy, jockish, whatever as long as they are happy, studious, kind, empathetic, human beings who live a healthy lifestyle. That is all that's important to me. Not wether or not they want to stick a ring through their septum.

 

[abbybeth]

I don't think you're being hypocritcal at all - you waited until you were an adult and were able to make the choice that you thought was best. If you had gone and gotten something done when you were under 18, that would be different, but you can tell your kids, if you want one, you have to wait until you are of legal age, like I did and put some thought into it.

As for the comment that it's against societal norms, I would have to disagree. It is a mainstay of American society that one should express themselves and be able to pursue their own interests, regardless of what those interests are. I did choose to have my tattoo placed in an area that does not show in the workplace or in most clothing. But I don't look down on others who have made different choices. I do not think that all visible tattoos make someone look "trashy" and it's more of a poor reflection on you if that is your first thought when looking at someone. I'll bet you've missed out on some nice, interesting people who probably could have added some value to your life. Never judge a book by their cover... granted, I don't appreciate visible tattoos that are vulgar or obscene in nature, I don't see any reason for that whatsoever.

to the OP - make the right decision for you. Tattoos can be beautiful works of art that you get to enjoy for a lifetime. If you aren't sure about your tongue piercing, you can get a plastic retainer for it that is much more discrete for times that you might not want it visible. Your local tattoo/piercing shop should have these readily available and it should be less than $10. I had to get a plastic retainer for my belly button piercing when I had an MRI done on my shoulder a couple years ago.

 

[bluejaygirl]

Sorry, I thought the image you presented to other parents is pertinent to doing something "for your child's sake." At a young age, that's FAR more important to kids than the possibility they will ask you to get a tattoo before they are legal adults.

Nothing hurts quite like discovering your kids can't play with kids because their parents don't approve of YOU. We aren't Christian, and that has closed doors for my kids. I'm not going to change religions for the sake of my kids friends, but you seemed open to the idea of leaving out your tongue stud.

You feel badly when judged for your religion, and yet openly judge others who sport a tattoo?

 

[crisi]

You feel badly when judged for your religion, and yet openly judge others who sport a tattoo?

I don't openly judge - as I said in the first post - I would have not commented had she not asked. But yes, if you ask "what do you think about a Mom with a tongue ring" I'm going to tell you - I think it looks sad and trashy. Don't WANT an opinion, don't ASK for an opinion.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

That's a judgement. Thinking someone is trashy for a tattoo or a piercing IS judging them- for their looks and not for themselves.

 

[crisi]

That's a judgement. Thinking someone is trashy for a tattoo or a piercing IS judging them- for their looks and not for themselves.

You are right, it is. But it isn't openly judging. I'll clue you in - EVERYONE judges on appearance, its human nature. You do it. I do it.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

But there is a difference, my dear- some people may make an instant judgement, but remain open minded to the person's personality- others make an instant judgement and close their minds. I know- I never let someone's personal appearance make up MY MIND about the person- because the wildest looking people can have the most wonderful souls.

 

[seawitch0313]

I don't think you should take it out. You got it as an adult, simply tell your kids they'll have to wait till they're an adult to get one. And you can use it as a lesson for you kids about not being judgemental by looks only. Yeah, some people will probably look down on you, think your 'trashy', or not let their kids play with yours, but you wouldn't want your kids around such shallow people anyways.
As for tattoos, I have 1 (got when I was 21) and plans for more. When I'm old and senile at least the nurses(while they're changing me will go 'Oh, she must have loved the ocean...' I have 8 earrings (3 lobes each side, 1 upper helix/cartlidge, and a rook) and will get my tragus(ear) and nose (small stud) in the future. I had my belly done but took it out because pregnancy deformed my belly button
And conforming to social norms? Um, what? Which norm? Why would I want to be a cookie cutter image of what someone else considers 'normal'? Why would I want to teach my kids to not be individuals and that they should do what they can to 'blend in'?
I'm sure my oldest will end up tattooed later in life, he loves the temporary kind. Hasn't mentioned anything he wants yet and I haven't encouraged it. I have also stressed to him that they are applied with *needles* and they will never ever come off. If he wants an earring later I'd allow it, but everything else he'd have to wait. I definetly wouldn't take them to watch future tats, unless they're past legal age themselves, but I would get them involved in the healing process so they know what they're in for and that it is a big deal. Most parlors nowdays don't allow others to watch at all anymore for sterility issues.

There is a small percentage of the pierced/tattooed population that is 'dirty' but they're the ones that have the infected nasty crusty kinds and they usually have cleanliness issues to begin with. The others are washing thiers sometimes 5 times a day to keep them clean. Far from 'dirty'. You have to take good care of those things to get them to heal properly and most won't go thru the time/pain/money for it not to turn out properly.

And trying to look younger, hanging onto their 20's? So I guess we can accuse every person who colors thier hair that they're clinging to thier youth (note sarcasim) I wouldn't retire a piercing simply because I'm too 'old' for it, that just seems silly. *Its jewelry*, you keep wearing them just like your necklaces and bracelets.

 

[grlpwrd]

Whatever you do, please no Asian characters! lol I have seen way too many tats that are characters that have no real meaning or are an entirely different meaning then intended. Just be very careful with translations. hee hee

Tattooing is an art and a way of life to me because I am part Polynesian and that is how it is within our culture. I don't have any tattoos, but that's because if I were to have one I would get one traditionally which is done by shark teeth tapped into your skin. I found this online:

Polynesians used this art to express their identity and personality. Tattoos would indicate status in a hierarchy society: sexual maturity, genealogy and one's rank within society. Nearly everyone in ancient Polynesian society was tattooed.

Sailors adopted it and I think there are still very negative stereotypes attached to it. I think people who assume it is trashy are really the one's with the problem quite frankly.

I personally don't see it as a trying-to-be-perpetually-20-years-old either. It's more than that... to some people it's art, to others it's a form of self expression, while some use it as a rite of passage or to mark a milestone. Doesn't anyone watch Miami Ink?

Then again who cares what people think anyway? We are all still going to have wrinkled old skin one day regardless. lol

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't think you should take it out. You got it as an adult, simply tell your kids they'll have to wait till they're an adult to get one. And you can use it as a lesson for you kids about not being judgemental by looks only. Yeah, some people will probably look down on you, think your 'trashy', or not let their kids play with yours, but you wouldn't want your kids around such shallow people anyways.

I have to comment on this. Now I believe that you can be a wonderful person and have your whole head pierced even if I think it is gross and attention seeking - BUT- how is not wanting my child to associate with people that look like that any different than those of you who won't let your child hang out with a young girl who dresses a bit trampy and the Mom thinks it's cute? I don't think it is shallow, rather wanting certain influences on your children. There is nothing wrong with that and I don't find it shallow. I am not saying I would keep my kid home from tattoo and pierced house, but I am sure that many will and I respect that. When a teen goes to pierced head home they might think that is cool expecially if the adult goes on to say how much they love it etc. There is nothing wrong with keeping your child away from such influences if you do not agree with them. Of course everyone teaches their children the way that they want and you hope that they make the right choices when the time comes, if you feel strongly opposed to something there is no need to feel bad about limiting their influence of those things. That is not being shallow.
JMHO.

 

[crisi]

But there is a difference, my dear- some people may make an instant judgement, but remain open minded to the person's personality- others make an instant judgement and close their minds. I know- I never let someone's personal appearance make up MY MIND about the person- because the wildest looking people can have the most wonderful souls.

And, if you had read what I said instead of reacting to what you think you believe I said, you'd discover that is what I do.

I have plenty of friends with tats and piercings. I know lovely people with tats and piercings. Nice, kind, generous people. My core group of friends is about half inked and/or unusually pierced - or was - most (not all) of the piercings have gone and the tats are now hidden (mostly) under sleeves, socks, or pants that sit higher on the hips in public.

But, it looks trashy and sad (when I can see it) once you have kids. It looks like you are refusing to grow up. If I can't see it, then I'm not able to judge.

My kids are allowed to play with kids who's parents are pierced at tat'd (In my group of friends it would be impossible not to). However, I know plenty of Moms in my neighborhood who would not allow that and are SHOCKED that I would let my kids play with "the children of such people."

A lot of this is going to depend on the neighborhood you live in and your social circle. I live in a 'burb of the Twin Cities. My friends in South Minneapolis are pierced and tatt'd. Their friends and neighbors are inked. Their kids play with plenty of kids where mom has a nose stud or dad has his eyebrow pierced. In that neighborhood, my friends' ankle tats and navel rings are downright conservative. Go to a Pagan ceremony and ink is the order of the day.

But it doesn't fly in my 'burb. Where if you have an ankle tat you cover it up before the PTO meeting and your eyebrow piercing is going to send your kids into a social circle you may not want them in. Is my neighborhood shallow - oh, probably. But the school district is way better than the one in South Minneapolis, much less violence, much better test scores. And, as Mouse House Mama says, you have to respect the wishes of the parents in this. And, in my experience, its painful when you realize that the choices you make are hurting your children - some choices you make are really essential to the core - I'm not becoming Christian so my son can have Austin over for a sleepover. But a tongue stud?

 

[pixiewings71]

I love my tattoos! I have three, of which 2 are quite large. I can show them all, or I can cover them all. I have 3 more planned. I took my naval piercing out a couple years ago, but I proudly wore it through my pregnancy. ( I took it out because of irritation and the hole closed up in a few days..I'd like to get it re-done.)

I'm a great mom, and a teacher of special needs preschoolers, and I am not in my early 20's by a long shot. I am, however, a beautiful lively woman, and I will not look and dress and act a certain way merely because I am "older" now. I will not be made conservative because that is not who I am. When I am 80 and sitting in my rocking chair, I will not regret my tattoos, even if my skin has stretched. I will think, "You lived as you wanted to live, good job".

My girls like my tattoos and talk of having them someday. When they are over 18, that is their choice. I only hope they don't do something they regret, but isn't that true in every aspect of their lives, not just body mods? All you can do is provide guidance, support, knowledge and the opportunity to make good choices. The rest is up to them.

To the OP- as for your DD watching, I don't know what state you live in but if its a state that licenses tat shops, I'd be surprised if they let kids under 18 in to watch, and I don't know as it would be appropriate as there is blood involved.. ( and possibly pain depending on your tolerance).

Just wanted to add a complete 100% amen to this post! Thank YOU for saying exactly what I would have said. I am not 20, in fact I'm 36, I dress trendy, go out with my friends regularly (line dancing is soooooooo much fun!!!!!) and actually my oldest DD goes with me, she is 19. I work out, I eat well, I am proud of the way I look and my goal is to look this way until I'm 80! And beyond if that's what is in store for me. I am happy this way, I'm not trying to be younger than I am, THIS is WHO I am and I'm proud of me. I am raising my girls to be proud of themselves,to be secure in their sense of self and have a lot of self respect. By expressing myself and doing things that mean something to me I am educating them. By no means am I a perfect parent, no one is and I'm sure many of the people against tats and piercings would judge me negatively, but my family would not judge you for your religion or any other lifestyle you choose so what gives you the right to judge me? It's sad but most people who have tats and/or piercings are more open-minded than those who are opposed to it. I appreciate everyone opinions but I don't have to agree with them! LOL And Thank God I'm not "normal", normal is boring, I want to be me and I want to have fun. And for the record, my tat is covered unless I want it to be seen, yes it's on my lower back but I wear clothes that cover it when necessary.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

LOL And Thank God I'm not "normal", normal is boring, I want to be me and I want to have fun.

I am not picking on you but I read your post last. This seems to be the recurring theme here with the pierced/tattoo people. IMO you are trying so hard not to be "normal" (whatever that is) that you are just that. Ordinary. Nothing wrong with that but I don't buy into this "OMG I am so different because I pierced and tattooed my forehead!" It just seems attention seeking, not being different. Not that every person who is pierced and tattooed wants attention, but if your head looks like a magnet collection there is no way you are going to convince me that you think you look pretty and just want to be different. In that case you just want someone to notice you. Just wanted to add that.

 

[merryweather's twin]

My Dad was very strict.
He had a list of ok and not ok in his home for us girls or any friend entering his home .
No long hair (for boyfriends)
No ear rings until 16th b-day
No boyfriends with any peircings
No tatoos ever.(exception for military special forces who have to get them)
No motorcycles

I have no tatoos. I dont plan on any. I think people who have them all over like on their face and down both arms are trying to say (I am scary and stay away.)I do watch Miami Ink and I can see why people get small ones and I think they are ok. But hope my kids do not.

I have only had my ears done once. My 3 girls are allowed to get their ears done 1 time at 7yo and that is it.

As for the mouth ( I was told that you only get your mouth peirced for partner pleasure and If I see someone with that I think....Gross.I know where you put your mouth... That is what I think right or wrong.) I think even worse things if the woman is not married (poor thing does all that for him and he still does not love her enuff to marry her).I guess that is mean but you asked what other parents are thinking.

I As far as getting peirced with metal?? I do not get that at all. And I do not think putting metal rods in skin on your head for no reason is cool. How can you get an office job or ever plan to make a really good living? Not many Dr.s or lawers or It exc. have metal in their skin.

I guess I am just old and just as strict as my Dad . I had never thought how mean some of my thought are. I am sorry if this hurts anyone but I still think it heaven help me. I know how hard judging falsely is (I am a fluffy girl do to a thiroid condition and get it alot from other parents Thinking I eat way to much and need a diet and self control).It does hurt but it does not change anything.
And I would say your have the right to do anything to your body you want . But your child who cannot control what you do has to deal with friends and other parents noticing your choices, some may be old fogies like me. Maby it is time to take it out if you are worried about your child's feelings when others notice and I do not think you are uncool at all for that.
Look at Sting he married his long time live in love not because they suddenly wanted to but because the things at school had gotten bad for the kids as far as teasing and they wanted the kids not to be teased for their choices. I think if he can put his children first not his principals so can you. Stepping off soap box and donning flame suit.

 

[pixiewings71]

I am not picking on you but I read your post last. This seems to be the recurring theme here with the pierced/tattoo people. IMO you are trying so hard not to be "normal" (whatever that is) that you are just that. Ordinary. Nothing wrong with that but I don't buy into this "OMG I am so different because I pierced and tattooed my forehead!" It just seems attention seeking, not being different. Not that every person who is pierced and tattooed wants attention, but if your head looks like a magnet collection there is no way you are going to convince me that you think you look pretty and just want to be different. In that case you just want someone to notice you. Just wanted to add that.

Then you didn't read my first post at all, the one on page 2 where I listed my piercings and tats. I have 1 tat on my lower back, I have my ears pierced twice, my belly button pierced, my cartiledge and my tragus, that's it. Nothing more. And you are judging me by assuming that my head looks like a magnet collection. LOL I have NO facial piercings at all, I have 1 tattoo where it can be covered, if you saw me walking down the street you would think I was "normal" and not tattooed/pierced at all. And no, I don't need anyone to notice me, I'm not seeking attention, I have my tat because I wanted it (read my first post, it has meaning to me and I waited until I was 31 to get it!), I have my piercings because I wanted them. It's not so anyone will look at me, it's because I like them.
As for the tongue ring, my partner has one, it was his choice. I did not ask him to do it, he wanted it. He asked me to do it and I said No, I have no desire to have a tongue ring, his doesn't bother me at all but I don't want it for myself, nor will I do nipples or *other* private parts, it's not for me. I've got the piercings I want and I'm happy stopping here. He has no desire to get anything else pierced nor does he want any tats, that's fine with me, as mine are fine with him. As for you knowing where his mouth is, LOL that struck me as funny, his mouth went the same places before he had his tongue pierced, why would only think that seeing the tongue ring? LOL
And you can bet that if I needed a lawyer and the best one was tattooed and pierced I would hire him/her for the job! Tats and piercings don't make you who you are, that comes from the inside.


Mouse House Mama, I'm not targeting you at all, I'm just replying to your post. I respect your opinon completely and understand your points, I just quoted you and replied to you because you used my post as a quote. Not flaming, not at all! Merryweather, I'm not targeting you either, I just thought that line was funny.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Then you didn't read my first post at all, the one on page 2 where I listed my piercings and tats. I have 1 tat on my lower back, I have my ears pierced twice, my belly button pierced, my cartiledge and my tragus, that's it. Nothing more. And you are judging me by assuming that my head looks like a magnet collection. LOL I have NO facial piercings at all, I have 1 tattoo where it can be covered, if you saw me walking down the street you would think I was "normal" and not tattooed/pierced at all. And no, I don't need anyone to notice me, I'm not seeking attention, I have my tat because I wanted it (read my first post, it has meaning to me and I waited until I was 31 to get it!), I have my piercings because I wanted them. It's not so anyone will look at me, it's because I like them.
As for the tongue ring, my partner has one, it was his choice. I did not ask him to do it, he wanted it. He asked me to do it and I said No, I have no desire to have a tongue ring, his doesn't bother me at all but I don't want it for myself, nor will I do nipples or *other* private parts, it's not for me. I've got the piercings I want and I'm happy stopping here. He has no desire to get anything else pierced nor does he want any tats, that's fine with me, as mine are fine with him. As for you knowing where his mouth is, LOL that struck me as funny, his mouth went the same places before he had his tongue pierced, why would only think that seeing the tongue ring? LOL
And you can bet that if I needed a lawyer and the best one was tattooed and pierced I would hire him/her for the job! Tats and piercings don't make you who you are, that comes from the inside.


Mouse House Mama, I'm not targeting you at all, I'm just replying to your post. I respect your opinon completely and understand your points, I just quoted you and replied to you because you used my post as a quote. Not flaming, not at all! Merryweather, I'm not targeting you either, I just thought that line was funny.

Can I ask wait a tragus is????

BTW- I went through a "pierced phase" in college. I had my tongue, nose, and belly button pierced. I took them out after college so that I could get a decent job. I had "something to prove" in college. I don't have anything to prove anymore!

 

[merryweather's twin]

Pixywings71 I understand comletely what you are saying . I think you have every rite to do what you want and what makes you happy. but the orr poster asked what parent of kids thought and most of the answers were( do what you want and do not worry what people think.) Which is fine and I agree with. But I felt she was worried and wanted to know what the fuddy duddys were thinking so I was honest on what I think in my head in that case... and told her.

As for the tounge I know it may have nothing to do with it( I am just going off what a kid told me in collage) but my mind still goes there if you know what I mean...I never thought about everyones tounge. I may never look at a tounge the same way agian.lol.

As for hireing a lawer I would not becouse I would assume the judge may have the same hang ups as I do. Not that hang ups or pre-judgeing is good ....But he-she is a judge by profession and I would want a conservative looking person so I am not judged by my lawers personal choices.... In a perfect world I would have no hange ups nor would anyone else but we are not there yeat. This flame suit is so sweaty....

 

[solferino]

Can I ask wait a tragus is????

the tragus is the little flappy piece of catiledge that sticks out where your ear opening is.

 

[pixiewings71]

yes, it is the little triangle piece of your ear next to your face. I think that one hurt the most! LOL So all my piercings are ear(s) and belly button.

Merryweather, I just thought it was funny that you automatically think that when you see a tongue ring. I just see a tongue ring. LOL I do not think you are a fuddy duddy at all. You just have different opinions, and that is fine, that is what makes our country a wonderful place to live in. I'm still lol at never looking at a tongue the same way again. LOL

 

[pixiewings71]

And just for reference here is a pic of the 5 of us, I'm in the shirt with the butterfly on it.

And a close up of me, I'm the one in the middle, the other 2 are my best friends