OT: "OMG! Your Mom Has A Tongue Ring!"

[abbybeth]

I'm 23 and got my tattoo done 3.5 years ago. My mom just got hers done this June for her Birthday. My parnents made it clear that I was to wait for any body modifications (including ear piercing) until my 18th birthday. I got my ears pierced my freshman year in college after I had turned 18 and got my tattood done at the beginning of my junior year, just after my 20th birthday. They were always very clear that body modifcations would always be my own decision when I was old enough to make them.

You're the adult, I think it's great that your kids can see that you are a free spirit and can make your own decisions - but that you also took great care and thought in making those decisions. Establish whatever rules you see fit - if that's waiting until you're 18, then they should learn to respect that.

 

[sara74]

Just had to throw this one in - my dad pierced his nipple when I was in college! I thought he was joking,but he wasn't! And the funny thing is that I am so conservative about those things and there is my dad next to me with his piercing!

My rule of thumb is this - if I do it now, how will it look when I am 80? I have considered tattoos a few times, but so far there is nothing that I can think of that wouldn't look bad when I am an old lady in my rocker, so I haven't done anything!

 

[Bob NC]

Unpierced/untatooed parents will be in the minority soon

VERY doubtful.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Um, my Mom started getting tattoos less then 5 years ago- and now she has more then me

Me- I have three tattoos right now. I'll be adding more. But then again, I used to be in the Marines- so that makes me pretty close to a dirty sailor, eh?

As far as - what will it look like on my body when I'm 80? I'm sure there are a lot of things I won't like about my body when I am much older, however- I think I can guarantee I'll still look at my tats and smile.

Piercings- I have three. Tragus (triangle part of the ear), nose and tongue- I don't care if others don't like them- for the most part, responses have always been positive- it may not be for other people, but most people nowadays understand the smaller piercings (smaller meaning- I even have a hard time with some of the drums that stretch the earlobes out to 3-4 inches).

 

[haley's mom]

Just be careful of DD's feelings. My step-daughter has a boy she likes tell her to tell her mom he thought her mom has nice ****s. Now DH's ex-wife is 32 and dresses like a teen-ager. Her choice, but now it's beginning to affect her kids.

Piercings, tattoos, etc. are fine, but when kids get made fun of things their parents do, it's a sad situation.

 

[Amirah95]

Thanks everyone! This helps!

I'm going to go ahead and get my small Maleficent tat and I'm going to put it in a place where it won't be exposed to others. It's something that I want so I'm going to go ahead and do it. My DD wants to be there when I get it done. I told her that when she turns 21 she can get only one and she's fine with that. 18, 19 and 20 year olds are still babies in my eyes...I get that from my mom.

Thanks again!

 

[mindymouse1]

YOU are the adult. It's your decision. I tell my kids when they are 18 they can do what they want. I have 2 tattoos. My 4 yr old son wants a dinosaur on a motorcycle. He has 14 more years to design it so we will see!!!

 

[Tikicampers]

I don't think it's at all hypocritical. DH and I have "rules" about tattoos and piercings for ourselves, and we hope our kids will abide by them as well. We've put quite a bit of thought into it. In case you're interested here they are:

1. Other than pierced ears (one hole each ear), no other body modifications until you are 18. However, you should really wait until you are out of college. You change so much during that time, that something you love may turn into something you hate. (Like our friend who has several tattoos of comic book heroes)

2. Any tattoo you get should be able to be covered up when you wear pants and a T-shirt. This way, it won't be a problem at work, and if you wind up hating it, you don't have to look at it all the time.

3. No names unless it someone related to you by blood or adoption. Getting your significant other's name permanently on your body is the kiss of death for a relationship.

4. Once you decide you want a tattoo or piercing, plan where and what you want, and then wait at least 6 weeks. If after that time, you still want it, go for it. This is the one we feel is most important.

5. If you get a tattoo, it needs to represent something very special to you. The people we know who regret their tattoos, got things that they were into at the time, but have outgrown. We would caution our kids to avoid characters, and your traditional tattoo images. (Although, Maleficent sounds like a cool idea to me). One of my friends has a tattoo that represents the Trinity (she's Catholic). I doubt she'll regret it.

Since we abide by these rules, I won't feel at all bad about making our kids do it too. For the record, DH has his ears and nipple pierced. I have double holes in my ears, and used to have my bellybutton pierced. Neither of us has a tattoo yet, but we are both tossing around ideas. I may be too chicken to do it, I don't know yet. We are both thinking of getting tattoos that represent our children. I know many people who have tattoos or piercings of some kind. They have nothing to do with what kind of parent you are.

 

[*CheshireCat*]

Tikicamper, you took the words right out of my mouth! I totally agree with you. I have 3 tattoos and I love them... they are all in spots that can be covered up too!

 

[mandysbus]

I see lots of parents with tattoos and piercings. My parents made me wait till I was 18 for anything other than my ears (and I had a tattoo appointment for my 18 birthday . My tattoos are in places where I can cover them up and I have my belly button and nose pierced (just a tiny nose stud, was actually thinking long term on this one....I had seen older women with them and thought they looked nice). I do have to put a clear piece in my nose while at work. Had my tongue and nipple done, both of those are long gone....the tongue one began to bother me and the nipple ring went when I found out I was pregnant and wanted to breast feed.

I'd like to get a few more tats and piercings, just not in the budget at the moment. And funny enough, my mom who gave me a hard time about my tattoos went and got one the other year after a trip to new orleans (should have seen the shocked look on my face). Its very tasteful though, a small butterfly on her upper back.

 

[RACHELSMOM1]

Not that any of you care what I think, but I think both things are gross! I think piercing anywhere but on the ears look painful, it literally hurts me to look at them! And tats to me just look dirty, like someone has written on themselves with a marker and it won't wash off. I also think both things look crude, like something an old sailor with a filthy mouth would have, And when a person gets old and the skin gets saggy and rough, YUK!! However, I am probably way older than most of you....
My oldest dd got here ears pierced for her 16th birthday and was scared to death to do that. Anything else they want to do when they are adults is their business. As long as they take into consideration what other old fuddy-duddies like me think about junk like that!
Go ahead and flame, just my opinion here. I was just raised in a different time and place.......

I am so with you on this!! If I go into a place of business (esp. a restaurant) and have to look at a tongue piercing, I want to throw up. And, I will walk out before I am served by them. This has happened to me. I agree with everything you said, and I refuse to spend money in such establishments that alow their employees to display such things.

 

[crisi]

That's what my DD's friends noticed the other day as I dropped her off to her swim lessons. OK so I have a tongue ring and I was going to get a tattoo sometime after I'm finished breastfeeding, but now I'm kind of rethinking the whole thing because if my DD asked me if she could have a piercing other than ears or a tat I'd flat out say, "no, not until you're 21!" She hasn't asked yet.

Should I remove my tongue ring now permanently? Should I not get a tat since my time has passed? Any other Dis Mom's who have special piercings and tats? I don't want to feel like or be a hypocrite. Mind you I've had my special piercing for a very long time (way before my DD) and I didn't get it until I was 21...by my DM's request.

Since you asked, and I wouldn't say anything at all if you hadn't.

I think it looks sad for a woman with kids to show tats and piercings (other than the single pierce in the lobes of the ears). Some of my friends have them - to me they look like you are trying to stay 22 (and maybe you are 22) and refusing to grow up. I want to age like Diane Keaton, gracefully accepting each stage of my life - not like Cher thinking I'm still "club hot" at 60.

I also think it sends a message to your kids that you don't value societal norms - and that message from their parents combined with peer pressure from their friends can make for some challenging hormonal filled stupid teenage years.

 

[Tikicampers]

I think it looks sad for a woman with kids to show tats and piercings (other than the single pierce in the lobes of the ears). Some of my friends have them - to me they look like you are trying to stay 22 (and maybe you are 22) and refusing to grow up. I want to age like Diane Keaton, gracefully accepting each stage of my life - not like Cher thinking I'm still "club hot" at 60.

Just wanted to make the point that for all you know Diane Keaton has a tattoo somewhere you can't see. I absolutely want to look like Keaton as I age as opposed to Cher. However, a tasteful tattoo in an area that can easily be covered is not out of line with that. There is a misconception that everyone with tattoos or piercings has them displayed prominently. To look at DH, you would never guess his nipple is pierced. We do value social norms, which is why anything we get is something we can easily cover. I think you would be surprised to find out how many people have a small tattoo somewhere on their bodies.

In addition, some of the nicest people I have known are the ones with very visible tattoos and piercings. A mom in my room that was a regular guest reader had several piercings, and she was as sweet as could be. All the kids loved her.

 

[bluejaygirl]

I love my tattoos! I have three, of which 2 are quite large. I can show them all, or I can cover them all. I have 3 more planned. I took my naval piercing out a couple years ago, but I proudly wore it through my pregnancy. ( I took it out because of irritation and the hole closed up in a few days..I'd like to get it re-done.)

I'm a great mom, and a teacher of special needs preschoolers, and I am not in my early 20's by a long shot. I am, however, a beautiful lively woman, and I will not look and dress and act a certain way merely because I am "older" now. I will not be made conservative because that is not who I am. When I am 80 and sitting in my rocking chair, I will not regret my tattoos, even if my skin has stretched. I will think, "You lived as you wanted to live, good job".

My girls like my tattoos and talk of having them someday. When they are over 18, that is their choice. I only hope they don't do something they regret, but isn't that true in every aspect of their lives, not just body mods? All you can do is provide guidance, support, knowledge and the opportunity to make good choices. The rest is up to them.

To the OP- as for your DD watching, I don't know what state you live in but if its a state that licenses tat shops, I'd be surprised if they let kids under 18 in to watch, and I don't know as it would be appropriate as there is blood involved.. ( and possibly pain depending on your tolerance).

 

[crisi]

Just wanted to make the point that for all you know Diane Keaton has a tattoo somewhere you can't see. I absolutely want to look like Keaton as I age as opposed to Cher. However, a tasteful tattoo in an area that can easily be covered is not out of line with that. There is a misconception that everyone with tattoos or piercings has them displayed prominently. To look at DH, you would never guess his nipple is pierced. We do value social norms, which is why anything we get is something we can easily cover. I think you would be surprised to find out how many people have a small tattoo somewhere on their bodies.

In addition, some of the nicest people I have known are the ones with very visible tattoos and piercings. A mom in my room that was a regular guest reader had several piercings, and she was as sweet as could be. All the kids loved her.

And that is sort of the point - Tats you CAN'T see and can be discrete about - those I think are cool - your own little secret. But no one needs to know but you and whomever you are intimate enough to share it with - strangers aren't making judgments about you based on your appearance - and we ALL make judgments about people based on appearance. I don't want my kids friend's moms jumping to the conclusions people often make about people with tongue rings or navel piercings or tramp stamps.

And I'm not saying anything at all about how nice people with piercings and tats are.

 

[MichelleVW]

Since you asked, and I wouldn't say anything at all if you hadn't.

I think it looks sad for a woman with kids to show tats and piercings (other than the single pierce in the lobes of the ears). Some of my friends have them - to me they look like you are trying to stay 22 (and maybe you are 22) and refusing to grow up. I want to age like Diane Keaton, gracefully accepting each stage of my life - not like Cher thinking I'm still "club hot" at 60.

I also think it sends a message to your kids that you don't value societal norms - and that message from their parents combined with peer pressure from their friends can make for some challenging hormonal filled stupid teenage years.

one belly button ring and 3 tattos on this 40 year old mom. I don't dress or act like I am trying to be 22....I love my tattos and my piercing...they are all easily covered, but they are still in places that are easily seen at times....and I don't think it looks sad at all

My kids have a few holes in their ears, but they can't get anything else pierced until they are 18. I know they both want tattoos and they both know that they need to get them in places that are easy to cover. I've told them that I will take them to get their first one when they are old enough!

 

[crisi]

one belly button ring and 3 tattos on this 40 year old mom. I don't dress or act like I am trying to be 22....I love my tattos and my piercing...they are all easily covered, but they are still in places that are easily seen at times....and I don't think it looks sad at all

My kids have a few holes in their ears, but they can't get anything else pierced until they are 18. I know they both want tattoos and they both know that they need to get them in places that are easy to cover. I've told them that I will take them to get their first one when they are old enough!

Fine for you. The thing is I'll look at you and think your kind of sad - and frankly rather trashy. Is it a fair judgment? Nope. But that is what I'll think - and what some other people will think. Is that the image you want to project? Is that what you want your kids to overhear when you walk through the grocery store? If you don't care - than you don't care what I think or anyone else thinks - good for you! Glad you have that self confidence. You've made the right decision for you and I congratulate you on that, sincerely. But the OP asked what other people think, and I told her.

If your piercings and tats are easily covered, then YOU are getting to choose what image you want to project when. And that is different than a tongue piercing or eyebrows or a tat that isn't covered by most of your clothing (or looks strange when you wear long sleeves in July). I don't have ANY problems at all with people who choose when and where to display their tats, piercings or other body mods.

And I suppose that you can choose to wear or not wear the tongue stud. In which case I'd recommend choosing not to wear it to the PTA meeting unless you live in a neighborhood where it won't stand out.

 

[Amirah95]

But the OP asked what other people think, and I told her.

I didn't ask what Disers thought about body art on a person or on an older person because that's whole different subject. I asked Disers do they think I should remove my piercing and not get the tat for my child's sake. If she were to come to me to ask for one and I said no and to wait until she was 21, would I look like a hypocrite because I have a piercing and/or tat.

That's all.

I think overall I've gotten good advice. Thanks everyone!

 

[crisi]

I didn't ask what Disers thought about body art on a person or on an older person because that's whole different subject. I asked Disers do they think I should remove my piercing and not get the tat for my child's sake. If she were to come to me to ask for one and I said no and to wait until she was 21, would I look like a hypocrite because I have a piercing and/or tat.

That's all.

I think overall I've gotten good advice. Thanks everyone!

Sorry, I thought the image you presented to other parents is pertinent to doing something "for your child's sake." At a young age, that's FAR more important to kids than the possibility they will ask you to get a tattoo before they are legal adults.

Nothing hurts quite like discovering your kids can't play with kids because their parents don't approve of YOU. We aren't Christian, and that has closed doors for my kids. I'm not going to change religions for the sake of my kids friends, but you seemed open to the idea of leaving out your tongue stud.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Personally, I would not remove the piercing. You waited until you were an adult to get yours. There is nothing hypocritical about telling your own child to do the same. As for what her friends or their parents think, there's really nothing you can do if they view you or your daughter a certain way because of the piercing-but that's their problem.