OT - MIL will not take NO for an answer.

[msce2]

So MIL called on Monday and wants us to fly to Georgia on July 10th for 1 day for a "family" reunion. DH told her no because we are already spending our vacation and money in WDW in May. Not to mention I just quit my job, so having extra spending money is out of the question. (The only reason we're going to WDW still is that we have saved over the last 6 years and are spending 4 days driving instead of the cost of flying the 5 of us). Anyway she calls this afternoon and tells me that Southwest sent her an email about $59 flights. That's all well and good but for 5 people it's still $700. So then she says well why doesn't DH just go. I tell her I can't answer for him, and she tells me "Fine I'll just talk to him then." She knows our financial situation, and yet still continues to push for what reason? And then throws WDW in our face as if because we're going there we should absolutely HAVE to go to GA. I just don't get it.

 

[Krissy Marissy]

I think she needs to chill out. She sounds like my grandmother. Always pushing and pushing and doesn't let anything go! No one wants to be around her and she doesn't understand why. You are doing what is best for you and your family and she needs to respect that. If DH wants to go, fine...but sending one child is asking for major trouble. I wouldn't worry about it too much, she will get over it. And if she really NEEDS you to go then she can pay for you to be there. Enjoy your trip in may!

 

[msce2]

Wow.. Really??? No need to call her selfish. She is making a decision to do what is best for HER family. It's great that you send your husband away but maybe she doesn't want to do that.

Thank you! We usually do things as a family. There might be a rare occasion like next weekend where DH is taking DS bowling (it's a school event). But he's never been on a trip with them alone.

 

[JimR24]

Thank you! We usually do things as a family. There might be a rare occasion like next weekend where DH is taking DS bowling (it's a school event). But he's never been on a trip with them alone.

No problem. We always vacation as a family together too. We have things we do with the kids one on one. I coach my daughters softball team and it really has brought us closer. But we will never vacation apart. That is our time have total time with the family. I'm sure there are times my wife wants to send me away but she never does it.

And you handled that response better than I would have. There really are some people on these boards that seem to live on a soapbox.

 

[mnasmom3]

Yeah, MIL needs to back off and you and dh need to be on the same page and stay strong. Don't let her bully you or make judgements on how you and dh spend your money.

 

[roscoepc1]

Honey...she can't MAKE you spend the money, or MAKE you get on an airplane. So, the worst she can do is drive you insane, lol.

I'd try the old "We have given you our answer, and it is not changing. If we can't talk about something else, I'll have to hang up now."

Then DO it....as many times as necessary. No emotion, don't let her play you!

I know exactly what you mean, btw...she sounds like MY mother....we just bought a trailer, a long-held dream of ours, and I just can't wait to tell her so she can poop on my joy.

 

[Chuck S]

Frankly, I don't really like big family reunions, but they are (occasionally) important. Some things you just have to do for others, rather than yourself. It may even be that MIL doesn't want to fly/travel alone, especially if she suggested that your DH should go when you already declined.

I do understand, given the current economic times, being reluctant. But if she offers to pay the flight for your DH, I would encourage him to go. Especially since it is only for a day.

I flew with my grandma to a family reunion. It was important to her to visit with her relatives. She had a wonderful time. She did not live to attend the next one.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

Stick to your guns on this one. You have saved for your family holiday and you all deserve that. And spending that money to fly somewhere for one day is ridiculous! Tell her you are trying to reduce your carbon footprint by not flying anywhere!!!!

 

[disykat]

Did some posts get deleted?

Anyway, you're doing the right thing letting dh answer for himself. Personally I think you and your husband are both on the right page not letting MIL force you to do something you can't afford.

Maybe MIL will plan further ahead next time. 6 months is not enough notice to expect everyone to drop everything for expensive travel OR to have to cancel other plans already made. She'll simply have to accept that not everyone has that option.

 

[msce2]

Honey...she can't MAKE you spend the money, or MAKE you get on an airplane. So, the worst she can do is drive you insane, lol.

I'd try the old "We have given you our answer, and it is not changing. If we can't talk about something else, I'll have to hang up now."

Then DO it....as many times as necessary. No emotion, don't let her play you!

I know exactly what you mean, btw...she sounds like MY mother....we just bought a trailer, a long-held dream of ours, and I just can't wait to tell her so she can poop on my joy.

Congratulations on your purchase!!! Don't let anyone poop on your joy!

 

[msce2]

Stick to your guns on this one. You have saved for your family holiday and you all deserve that. And spending that money to fly somewhere for one day is ridiculous! Tell her you are trying to reduce your carbon footprint by not flying anywhere!!!!

LOL! That's great! If only she believed in global warming.

 

[Stacerita]

If she really wants you there, she can pay for you to be there.

 

[dogodisney]

When was the last time that your MIL saw all of you?

 

[Jenn]

I live in GA and I'm 99% sure SW doesn't fly into any airports here.

 

[Krissy Marissy]

I got lost. Did a post get deleted? Anyway I am glad everyone is of the same opinion...just stick to your ground and do what is best for your family! She will hopefully get the hint

 

[dogodisney]

I live in GA and I'm 99% sure SW doesn't fly into any airports here.

You know I think you are right. I searched just to see what rates would be from Atlanta to MCO and ATL wasn't listed.

 

[disneyjunkie]

So MIL called on Monday and wants us to fly to Georgia on July 10th for 1 day for a "family" reunion. DH told her no because we are already spending our vacation and money in WDW in May. Not to mention I just quit my job, so having extra spending money is out of the question. (The only reason we're going to WDW still is that we have saved over the last 6 years and are spending 4 days driving instead of the cost of flying the 5 of us). Anyway she calls this afternoon and tells me that Southwest sent her an email about $59 flights. That's all well and good but for 5 people it's still $700. So then she says well why doesn't DH just go. I tell her I can't answer for him, and she tells me "Fine I'll just talk to him then." She knows our financial situation, and yet still continues to push for what reason? And then throws WDW in our face as if because we're going there we should absolutely HAVE to go to GA. I just don't get it.

6 months notice isn't unreasonable. And I sure hope your daughters-in-law are more understanding and compassionate than you are.

ITA

I don't see why it's a bad thing for a mother to want to spend time with her son and his family.

The poor woman is even willing to do some research to find low fares.

If airfare is out of reach, how about driving down?

 

[disneyjunkie]

I live in GA and I'm 99% sure SW doesn't fly into any airports here.

Maybe she found a near by airport and is willing to pick them up.

 

[msce2]

I pray everyday for good daughter-in-laws. My family is important to me. Since the OP won't even let her son go down with his dad, I think that her family is important to her to. I always figure "what comes around, goes around." The children will learn how to treat the older generation, and one of these days, that will be us.

My DH does not want to go down. As if I could somehow "prevent" my DH from going somewhere??? He does not have a good relationship with his mother and there is a very good reason why. She is controlling. And yes, what goes around does come around, however I have been very willing to be a part of the "familiy". Last summer our kids spent a week at their house (which is only an hour away) for their church's children's bible camp. And I don't even agree with their religion. I've been very accommodating. Driving down is NOT an option as DH does not have any vacation time left, and I'm sorry but we can't afford to take the time unpaid as DH's job has already made them take 1 week unpaid and unfortunately that week must be taken by May. But lady, if you're going to be that pushy with your daughter in laws insisting that they attend certain events instead of developing good relationships so that they will want to spend time with you then you just may find yourself in the same boat.

 

[msce2]

I pray everyday for good daughter-in-laws. My family is important to me. Since the OP won't even let her son go down with his dad, I think that her family is important to her to. I always figure "what comes around, goes around." The children will learn how to treat the older generation, and one of these days, that will be us.

ITA

I don't see why it's a bad thing for a mother to want to spend time with her son and his family.

The poor woman is even willing to do some research to find low fares.

If airfare is out of reach, how about driving down?

MIL can spend anytime she wants with us here in PA where we both live. We don't live that far from each other. I'm the one who says to DH, don't you think we should go see your parents? I'm home 7 days a week, and she knows all she has to do is call and she can stop over and pick up the kids. They just had them in Jan for 3 days all to themselves.