OT- "Meeting people online" experience needed!

[nurse.darcy]

One more piece of advice. It is very easy to "fall in love" over conversation. When the relationship is long distance and all you have is conversation its easy to get caught up in the conversation and think that its the end all to be all for a relationship. Be aware of that and keep an open mind about it. It could be that the person is everything you ever wanted like Cait and Bob and Shawn and Jill, or it could end up that it was wrong from the very beginning but there was very good conversation. Make up your mind from the beginning that even if the conversation is wonderful you will wait till meeting before deciding if this is the love of your life. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. If you are prepared emotionally, you can't get hurt.

By the way, meeting during a DISmeet is a lot of fun and takes the pressure off if there is no chemistry. Everyone is having fun and its easy to blend in with the meet crowd. . .

 

[Carrieannew]

Internet dating brings out all types. So, I wont repeat the "be careful" like everyone else, hopefully you know to take precautions by now... lol. Instead, I am going to tell you to "have fun" with it. Some of the people you meet will not be at all like the person you chatted with, some will be 20 years older than the pictures they have posted on their profile, and some will actually have the potential to make you fall in love with them! When I was younger, I used to have a date with a different guy every other night. I had a blast!!! I met my last true boyfriend on Match.com. We were just a great match and we both knew it by the end of our first date. I remember going home and making all of my dating profiles unsearchable...lol Thats how I knew I really liked him. We dated for a few years, lived together, and although things didn't work out, I was glad that I had used internet dating. I have never gone back to the "internet dating scene" although I have met people on the DIS and formed some great friendships. It is easy to fall head over heels for someone online. Relationships with these people don't always work out, but I guess it goes back to "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all"

So, have fun, meet people, and use your common sense about safety.

Always fantastic with the words woman! I also agree on the its better to have loved and lost then never have loved at all.

One more piece of advice. It is very easy to "fall in love" over conversation. When the relationship is long distance and all you have is conversation its easy to get caught up in the conversation and think that its the end all to be all for a relationship. Be aware of that and keep an open mind about it. It could be that the person is everything you ever wanted like Cait and Bob and Shawn and Jill, or it could end up that it was wrong from the very beginning but there was very good conversation. Make up your mind from the beginning that even if the conversation is wonderful you will wait till meeting before deciding if this is the love of your life. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. If you are prepared emotionally, you can't get hurt.

By the way, meeting during a DISmeet is a lot of fun and takes the pressure off if there is no chemistry. Everyone is having fun and its easy to blend in with the meet crowd. . .

Darcy rock on. Everyone deserves to be happy. I think that for people to have found such a connection and a love of disney... those people are truely lucky.

Just be prepared... no glove no love.. sorrry hahaha had to throw that in there

 

[nurse.darcy]

Always fantastic with the words woman! I also agree on the its better to have loved and lost then never have loved at all.




Darcy rock on. Everyone deserves to be happy. I think that for people to have found such a connection and a love of disney... those people are truely lucky.

Just be prepared... no glove no love.. sorrry hahaha had to throw that in there

Love ya girlfriend. . .

 

[Carrieannew]

Love ya girlfriend. . .

I must say.. your tickers make me jealous..

I only have one

 

[acm563]

I must say.. your tickers make me jealous..

I only have one

You may only have one ticker but we have many plans in the works so I am not feeling sorry for you....

 

[tawasdave]

Ok..a couple other things from a guys perspective...

1) If you really want to have guys contact you, you must have a picture..I know, I know....but then he knows what I look like...well that is true...but I would tell you that guys pay no attention to a profile with no pic. And, in this day and age if someone has no pic they have something to hide (married or coyote ugly)...lol

2) Be careful giving out your name...AND home phone number...you may be amazed what a google search can find...and other people finders...next thing ya know they know your address. (type your name or phone number in a google search sometime...you may be surprised)

3) There is a truly free dating site called plentyoffish...but being free...there are alot of...how shall I say, less desireables...but hey its free...

4)Now I am positive that I will get burned by some of the ladies on here who know me...but, when I come across someone that I want to get to know better I use this thing I like to call the 10 question game...(corny I know)...you ask the person 10 questions...they answer..then you have to answer your own questions..then its their turn to do the same...I find it fun...and you learn alot about a person fast (especially a guy like me who hates talking on the phone)..its starts out easy (IE, favorite drink...who do miss the most...favorite season..etc) and they get more difficult and personal as time goes on. You learn if you are truly interested or um..more scared and say thanks but no thanks...

5)Have a friend call during the date on your cell..if everything is ok...you can say that..if not you can make up a thing like.."She fell?" Where?..is she hurt?...Oh I have to go..my mom is headed to the hospital"...lol...Really for us normal guys (easy Ang and Carrie) we do not mind and I have learned to expect it...no biggie...but just an out for you.

6)MAKE YOUR PROFILE TRUTHFUL!!! It amazes me that 80% of the women on dating sites love to camp, fish and hunt...love sports..love to cook...come on...in my 50 years I have met alot of ladies and can count on one hand any that truly liked doing those things...Now I am sure there are ladies that do like that...but not 80%...I know when I see that I tend to avoid those ladies. Oh and another one.." I am an attractive , sexy ..etc etc..."...let us be the judge of that...you telling us that actually tells us you are stuck up and to avoid at all cost!!!

Just be safe...have fun...

Ok ladies...Flame away...

 

[sand2270]

Ok..a couple other things from a guys perspective...

1) If you really want to have guys contact you, you must have a picture..I know, I know....but then he knows what I look like...well that is true...but I would tell you that guys pay no attention to a profile with no pic. And, in this day and age if someone has no pic they have something to hide (married or coyote ugly)...lol

Ok ladies...Flame away...

No flaming, just a comment. When I was doing eharmony I got matched with...count them...3 coworkers. It was embarrassing. As a result I hid my picture until I could confirm the match was not a coworker. As soon as I knew I would release my picture. As a result though some guys would immediately close the match because they couldn't see my picture. Basically I was not even given a chance.

I recently reinstated my membership. Not really sure why, I don't feel like dating...maybe boredom. Anyway, they added this feature now where you can send someone a nudge if their picture isn't posted. And still I am being closed immediately by some men because I don't make my photo available immediately. This makes no sense to me. If you want to see it just send me a nudge and I will release my pictures.

My feelings about this? Their loss...if all they are interested in is the picture than they really aren't worth my time. Also I feel like if they aren't smart enough to send me a nudge first than they are a dummy and I am not wasting my time. So what do I do to those guys? I go up, release my picture, and than finalize the match closure (you have the option of requesting the match be reopened which I don't do LOL).

But Randy it is interesting to see a man's perspective on this.

 

[tawasdave]

No flaming, just a comment. When I was doing eharmony I got matched with...count them...3 coworkers. It was embarrassing. As a result I hid my picture until I could confirm the match was not a coworker. As soon as I knew I would release my picture. As a result though some guys would immediately close the match because they couldn't see my picture. Basically I was not even given a chance.

I recently reinstated my membership. Not really sure why, I don't feel like dating...maybe boredom. Anyway, they added this feature now where you can send someone a nudge if their picture isn't posted. And still I am being closed immediately by some men because I don't make my photo available immediately. This makes no sense to me. If you want to see it just send me a nudge and I will release my pictures.

My feelings about this? Their loss...if all they are interested in is the picture than they really aren't worth my time. Also I feel like if they aren't smart enough to send me a nudge first than they are a dummy and I am not wasting my time. So what do I do to those guys? I go up, release my picture, and than finalize the match closure (you have the option of requesting the match be reopened which I don't do LOL).

But Randy it is interesting to see a man's perspective on this.

You have to realize that you are in "competition" with 100's of other ladies...many with pics...I do not even look at profiles without a pic quite honestly..do not even read them...have I passed over my princess by doing that? Probably...but thats just me...but I have talked to many guys who do the same thing...in fact almost all do...

 

[sand2270]

You have to realize that you are in "competition" with 100's of other ladies...many with pics...I do not even look at profiles without a pic quite honestly..do not even read them...have I passed over my princess by doing that? Probably...but thats just me...but I have talked to many guys who do the same thing...in fact almost all do...

and while I understand that...there are other reasons why people don't show their pictures. In my case it's not because I think I am ugly it's because I am trying to not be embarrassed by getting matched with people I work with. It just seems like the service, in this case eharmony, has something in place to help with that. If a man can't take two seconds to send me a nudge than I stand by what I said...not worth my time.

But again...interesting to see a man's perspective on this.

 

[sand2270]

...and...I never close someone just because I can't see their picture...

 

[acm563]

Ok..a couple other things from a guys perspective...

1) If you really want to have guys contact you, you must have a picture..I know, I know....but then he knows what I look like...well that is true...but I would tell you that guys pay no attention to a profile with no pic. And, in this day and age if someone has no pic they have something to hide (married or coyote ugly)...lol

2) Be careful giving out your name...AND home phone number...you may be amazed what a google search can find...and other people finders...next thing ya know they know your address. (type your name or phone number in a google search sometime...you may be surprised)

3) There is a truly free dating site called plentyoffish...but being free...there are alot of...how shall I say, less desireables...but hey its free...

4)Now I am positive that I will get burned by some of the ladies on here who know me...but, when I come across someone that I want to get to know better I use this thing I like to call the 10 question game...(corny I know)...you ask the person 10 questions...they answer..then you have to answer your own questions..then its their turn to do the same...I find it fun...and you learn alot about a person fast (especially a guy like me who hates talking on the phone)..its starts out easy (IE, favorite drink...who do miss the most...favorite season..etc) and they get more difficult and personal as time goes on. You learn if you are truly interested or um..more scared and say thanks but no thanks...

5)Have a friend call during the date on your cell..if everything is ok...you can say that..if not you can make up a thing like.."She fell?" Where?..is she hurt?...Oh I have to go..my mom is headed to the hospital"...lol...Really for us normal guys (easy Ang and Carrie) we do not mind and I have learned to expect it...no biggie...but just an out for you.

6)MAKE YOUR PROFILE TRUTHFUL!!! It amazes me that 80% of the women on dating sites love to camp, fish and hunt...love sports..love to cook...come on...in my 50 years I have met alot of ladies and can count on one hand any that truly liked doing those things...Now I am sure there are ladies that do like that...but not 80%...I know when I see that I tend to avoid those ladies. Oh and another one.." I am an attractive , sexy ..etc etc..."...let us be the judge of that...you telling us that actually tells us you are stuck up and to avoid at all cost!!!
Just be safe...have fun...

Ok ladies...Flame away...

I am not going to "flame" away as the poster wasnt asking specifically about YOU but I will add to your #6 that about 80% of what you read on a guys profile is not truthful either, right down to what he is looking for. It is amazing how many men say they are looking for "serious relationships" when they dont mean that at all.... As with what everyone has been saying, use some common sense, and I especially agree with Darcy in that you can talk to someone for 3 months on the phone and think you have a connection and then you meet them and realize it's just not there. Personally, I wouldnt waste 3 months of my time anymore without meeting the person, if you are talking consistently and it feels right then go for after 3 or 4 weeks but make it a PUBLIC place. (and yes I have had the friend call me deal, but let's face it everyone knows what that is about so I honestly have just gotten to the point that if its not working, I say it, its no different than leaving the guy after a phone call that he knows was a fake anyway... ) The best rule will always be use some common sense and don't RUSH into anything, be realistic...........

 

[tawasdave]

I am not going to "flame" away as the poster wasnt asking specifically about YOU but I will add to your #6 that about 80% of what you read on a guys profile is not truthful either, right down to what he is looking for. It is amazing how many men say they are looking for "serious relationships" when they dont mean that at all.... As with what everyone has been saying, use some common sense, and I especially agree with Darcy in that you can talk to someone for 3 months on the phone and think you have a connection and then you meet them and realize it's just not there. Personally, I wouldnt waste 3 months of my time anymore without meeting the person, if you are talking consistently and it feels right then go for after 3 or 4 weeks but make it a PUBLIC place. (and yes I have had the friend call me deal, but let's face it everyone knows what that is about so I honestly have just gotten to the point that if its not working, I say it, its no different than leaving the guy after a phone call that he knows was a fake anyway... ) The best rule will always be use some common sense and don't RUSH into anything, be realistic...........

Oh I have no doubt that alot of guys are not honest on their profiles...but luckily for Ang she found one that was...and we were so happy until she dumped me...

 

[sand2270]

You have to realize that you are in "competition" with 100's of other ladies...many with pics...I do not even look at profiles without a pic quite honestly..do not even read them...have I passed over my princess by doing that? Probably...but thats just me...but I have talked to many guys who do the same thing...in fact almost all do...

Ok Randy...just for you I added a note to my profile as to why my pictures aren't available and to send me a nudge if I haven't released them yet. That's the best I can do...if that is not enough I will still have to consider them not worthy or a dummy . I gotta have some standards.

 

[Carrieannew]

Randy Randy Randy

Where to start...

Would you continue reading a women's profile if you did not find her attractive? Is'nt one of the "benefits" of online dating that you get to see into a person and past image first. Don't get me wrong, for there to be a true connection there has to be an attraction. But I have talked to many a person who would not have just gone up to that person in real life, and would have missed out.

My brother and his wife meet on Yahoo personals.. years ago. She had done her fair share of "online" dating and she is very honest about some of the good and bad. I know for a fact it can work.. We have examples right here on the dis boards.

I just wonder if by passing over someone, you are truely doing no different than you would in say a bar situation.

And I agree with Angy. There are so many guys out there who are not honest. And are not truely looking for a relationship, they are players. But they are out everywhere online or not.

I dont really agree though that there should be a timeline, such as we must talk for at least 3 weeks and then we can meet. Or we cant talk for more than 3 weeks without meeting first. I just think every situation is different. Expecially here on the boards where most times things start as friendships first. Of course in the big bad world on online dating, thats a whole other story.

Randy I like hearing a guys view. Any more out here?

 

[acm563]

Oh I have no doubt that alot of guys are not honest on their profiles...but luckily for Ang she found one that was...and we were so happy until she dumped me...

Get over it

 

[tawasdave]

I can only speak for me..but I know for sure that yes people both male and female lie on their profiles...or at least stretch the truth...no doubt about it..I did not mean for it to come off that it was only women..I know its both...

Second..there are literally 100's of women on dating sites out there..and for me...and all the other single guys out there that I have discussed this with...we pay no, none, zip, zero attention to a profile with no picture...I am sure I have read this somewhere that for men the first thing that attracts us is visual...then everything else falls behind that...for women its just the opposite..its personality first...no wonder we cannot get along...

If you were to read my profile you would clearly see that I have things about me that are good and bad...that I am very specific about what I like and do not like...what I am looking for in a lady and what I do not like...

As for players...you bet there are...both men and women...I sure wish that someone however would come up with a good definition of player...because if you see someone a few times and you decide that its not working instantly the guy becomes a "Player"...I dated a women a few times and we were hitting it off and she says I think your a player...well that was the end of that...are there guys that are players out there? For sure...but just because a relationship does not work does not make us players...

...and as for a timeline...your right...each "relationship" is different...for me however I do not meet right away..been there...done that...um..not good...

 

[Carrieannew]

I can only speak for me..but I know for sure that yes people both male and female lie on their profiles...or at least stretch the truth...no doubt about it..I did not mean for it to come off that it was only women..I know its both...

Second..there are literally 100's of women on dating sites out there..and for me...and all the other single guys out there that I have discussed this with...we pay no, none, zip, zero attention to a profile with no picture...I am sure I have read this somewhere that for men the first thing that attracts us is visual...then everything else falls behind that...for women its just the opposite..its personality first...no wonder we cannot get along...

If you were to read my profile you would clearly see that I have things about me that are good and bad...that I am very specific about what I like and do not like...what I am looking for in a lady and what I do not like...

As for players...you bet there are...both men and women...I sure wish that someone however would come up with a good definition of player...because if you see someone a few times and you decide that its not working instantly the guy becomes a "Player"...I dated a women a few times and we were hitting it off and she says I think your a player...well that was the end of that...are there guys that are players out there? For sure...but just because a relationship does not work does not make us players...

...and as for a timeline...your right...each "relationship" is different...for me however I do not meet right away..been there...done that...um..not good...

Leave it to Randy to defend the Players .. geez

 

[tsing]

Randy Randy Randy

Where to start...

I dont really agree though that there should be a timeline, such as we must talk for at least 3 weeks and then we can meet. Or we cant talk for more than 3 weeks without meeting first. I just think every situation is different. Expecially here on the boards where most times things start as friendships first. Of course in the big bad world on online dating, thats a whole other story.

Randy I like hearing a guys view. Any more out here?

I'll probably just address the profile and time lines. I really don't have any experience with on-line dating, and my experience with Disboards is actually pretty brief.

I have a membership on myspace, but I haven't done anything with it. So there is no profile. My profile on Disboards is vague on location, because I work in public safety and it's better if I keep the location vague. If somebody asks, and I'm comfortable telling them, I'll give more detail in a PM.

I'm really not into playing games. I know what my weaknesses are, and I'm up front in letting a woman know what they are; and trying to reduce their impact on my life. Because ignoring them and keeping them as weaknesses hasn't worked for me.

The timelines probably wouldn't work for me, unless I'm in the same geographical area as the woman I'm interested in. Time off is limited, and I work odd hours. Hopefully the interest that has us physically meeting is sufficient to hold that interest until we're able to meet.

Speaking of work hours, it's time to go. See y'all later.

 

[acm563]

Definition of player from a womans point of view = Man out here on dating site who is NOT looking for serious relationships but says he is when his profile should actually just say looking for dating....(and umm, I know someone that needs to reread his match.com ) He goes from woman to woman , and most of the time he is a real charmer, he does all the right things until someone that looks a little better in his eyes comes along and then he is off to the "next" one.... A player isnt a "bad guy" he's just someone that has no intention of settling down with just one woman because quite honestly that one right woman (in his eyes) would never give him the time of day(but he is too blind to realize that) so obviously he will never find her. So he has his "for this moment" gf, and its not that he treats her bad, but as soon as something new catches his eye and he can "have" it he dumps the old for the new.... A player does not end one relationship until he has someone else in the wings. A player is the guy who knows he isnt interested in a long term relationship with the woman he is currently with but instead of dumping her he strings her along because he hasnt found a new toy yet There are players, both male and female on this site and others, its a part of life. The important thing is to know a player when you see one and either be willing to "play" or dont get involved at all if you are the type to let your heart get involved.

 

[acm563]

Leave it to Randy to defend the Players .. geez