OT- "Meeting people online" experience needed!

[starrzone]

OP here again; I think I have good news! I don't want to jinx anything by saying too much yet, but I think I met a really great guy. I agreed to meet him last night, and he's the sweetest person imaginable. We texted for about 2 days straight, and he said lots of nice things, but meeting him last night sealed the deal. We're meeting for supper tomorrow and for coffee on Tuesday!

 

[libertybell7]

OP here again; I think I have good news! I don't want to jinx anything by saying too much yet, but I think I met a really great guy. I agreed to meet him last night, and he's the sweetest person imaginable. We texted for about 2 days straight, and he said lots of nice things, but meeting him last night sealed the deal. We're meeting for supper tomorrow and for coffee on Tuesday!

Thats great !

 

[Mrsduck101]

Flying in on the 30th and leaving on the 3rd. Friday is 4th street live night but any other day or night is good. . .

Keep me updated as it gets closer sweetie, I still have to do the babysitter thing and all that

We are definitely up for a little road trip to meet up with you guys

 

[Carrieannew]

Ok peeps.. someone give me the low down on plentyoffish.com

Its a free site.. does that take the quality down? Anyone have any experience?

 

[starrzone]

Ok peeps.. someone give me the low down on plentyoffish.com

Its a free site.. does that take the quality down? Anyone have any experience?

That's where I met the guy I'm seeing now! To be honest, I had really good experiences on there. If you have any other questions, just PM me.

 

[tawasdave]

Ok peeps.. someone give me the low down on plentyoffish.com

Its a free site.. does that take the quality down? Anyone have any experience?

Yes Ms Carrie..it does..I have been on there for sometime...not had any luck on it...and find lots of...how do I put this....undesireables and double baggers...

 

[Carrieannew]

That's where I met the guy I'm seeing now! To be honest, I had really good experiences on there. If you have any other questions, just PM me.

Thanks
I will PM ya
I'm glad its working for you!!

Yes Ms Carrie..it does..I have been on there for sometime...not had any luck on it...and find lots of...how do I put this....undesireables and double baggers...

Randy randy randy
I dont know if our undesireables are the same thing

 

[tawasdave]

Thanks
Randy randy randy
I dont know if our undesireables are the same thing

Ya all said a mouthful there....

 

[Carrieannew]

Ya all said a mouthful there....

Listen you.

 

[lhuggi1]

Ok..a couple other things from a guys perspective...

1) If you really want to have guys contact you, you must have a picture..I know, I know....but then he knows what I look like...well that is true...but I would tell you that guys pay no attention to a profile with no pic. And, in this day and age if someone has no pic they have something to hide (married or coyote ugly)...lol

2) Be careful giving out your name...AND home phone number...you may be amazed what a google search can find...and other people finders...next thing ya know they know your address. (type your name or phone number in a google search sometime...you may be surprised)

3) There is a truly free dating site called plentyoffish...but being free...there are alot of...how shall I say, less desireables...but hey its free...

4)Now I am positive that I will get burned by some of the ladies on here who know me...but, when I come across someone that I want to get to know better I use this thing I like to call the 10 question game...(corny I know)...you ask the person 10 questions...they answer..then you have to answer your own questions..then its their turn to do the same...I find it fun...and you learn alot about a person fast (especially a guy like me who hates talking on the phone)..its starts out easy (IE, favorite drink...who do miss the most...favorite season..etc) and they get more difficult and personal as time goes on. You learn if you are truly interested or um..more scared and say thanks but no thanks...

5)Have a friend call during the date on your cell..if everything is ok...you can say that..if not you can make up a thing like.."She fell?" Where?..is she hurt?...Oh I have to go..my mom is headed to the hospital"...lol...Really for us normal guys (easy Ang and Carrie) we do not mind and I have learned to expect it...no biggie...but just an out for you.

6)MAKE YOUR PROFILE TRUTHFUL!!! It amazes me that 80% of the women on dating sites love to camp, fish and hunt...love sports..love to cook...come on...in my 50 years I have met alot of ladies and can count on one hand any that truly liked doing those things...Now I am sure there are ladies that do like that...but not 80%...I know when I see that I tend to avoid those ladies. Oh and another one.." I am an attractive , sexy ..etc etc..."...let us be the judge of that...you telling us that actually tells us you are stuck up and to avoid at all cost!!!

Just be safe...have fun...

Ok ladies...Flame away...

I am sorry but by far that is the funniest things I have read in a long time .....
this coming from a girls perspective ..............lol

 

[LaurieA]

I just joined plentyoffish. Never heard of it before. I am new to this online dating, or in fact dating scene. Tonight will be my first night. I have been alone for a long time but never lonely. Good luck to us all.

 

[Carrieannew]

I just joined plentyoffish. Never heard of it before. I am new to this online dating, or in fact dating scene. Tonight will be my first night. I have been alone for a long time but never lonely. Good luck to us all.

Good Luck Laurie

I had an interesting first day to say the least

Dont listen to Randy he is a freakin guy.. nuff said.

I like that you can chat there among other features and seems like alot of guys in my area at least.

 

[TSBRN]

Ok peeps.. someone give me the low down on plentyoffish.com

Its a free site.. does that take the quality down? Anyone have any experience?

I have never actually dated anyone from that site, but I have gone on the site several times in the past just to read profiles. There were some obvious wack jobs....but they can be found anywhere, even on the more expensive sites.

My personal advice (speaking from a lesson learned) is to meet in person as soon as possible after making contact online. You honestly can't tell how someone is going to shake out in person, no matter how long you communicate online.

In my situation, I met a guy on eHarmony (very expensive & not worth the money) and we e-mailed for 6 months because he was deployed in the military. We had great communication via e-mail and talked a couple times briefly on the phone which also seemed to go well.

When we finally got the chance to meet in person, I had a difficult time believing it was the same guy. It had nothing to do with looks, he looked the same as his pics (but that is secondary to me anyway). However, his personality was nothing like the great e-mails he wrote.

I'm not saying he wasn't a nice guy, because he was.....but there was no connection, no chemistry, no nothin'!! Basically, he did all the talking (about himself) and I listened. It was a very long 12 hour date and I was quite sad and disappointed about how it turned out. Oh well....live and learn!!

Wishing everyone the best of luck!

 

[acm563]

I have never actually dated anyone from that site, but I have gone on the site several times in the past just to read profiles. There were some obvious wack jobs....but they can be found anywhere, even on the more expensive sites.

My personal advice (speaking from a lesson learned) is to meet in person as soon as possible after making contact online. You honestly can't tell how someone is going to shake out in person, no matter how long you communicate online.

In my situation, I met a guy on eHarmony (very expensive & not worth the money) and we e-mailed for 6 months because he was deployed in the military. We had great communication via e-mail and talked a couple times briefly on the phone which also seemed to go well.

When we finally got the chance to meet in person, I had a difficult time believing it was the same guy. It had nothing to do with looks, he looked the same as his pics (but that is secondary to me anyway). However, his personality was nothing like the great e-mails he wrote.

I'm not saying he wasn't a nice guy, because he was.....but there was no connection, no chemistry, no nothin'!! Basically, he did all the talking (about himself) and I listened. It was a very long 12 hour date and I was quite sad and disappointed about how it turned out. Oh well....live and learn!!

Wishing everyone the best of luck!

I couldnt agree with you more While I encourage caution I want to know before I have invested 6 months of my life in someone if there is any possibility there and you cannot know that until AFTER you meet them. Good luck to all... and CARRIE, plenty of fish is no different than any of the other sites, neither better nor worse and at least there is no subscription cost!

 

[starrzone]

OK, so here's the deal; I met this guy on Plenty of Fish, we've gotten together a couple times, and we really clicked. The thing is, I'm in totally uncharted territory here; the guy's 10 years older than me, going through a divorce and has 2 kids who are 6 and 5 (they live with the ex). Anyone you ask will confirm that I love kids, but I'm just at a loss here. If things do get more serious, how do I handle being part of the lives of these 2 little kids? Does it just come naturally? I don't want to step on any toes, and I'm so afraid that I'll make the ex mad or something...I don't know, maybe it's not even worth worrying about right now, but I like thinking ahead!

 

[tawasdave]

Dont listen to Randy he is a freakin guy.. nuff said.

LOL...Gosh..I have not freaked...in..oh I would say...well..a really long time...

 

[tsing]

OK, so here's the deal; I met this guy on Plenty of Fish, we've gotten together a couple times, and we really clicked. The thing is, I'm in totally uncharted territory here; the guy's 10 years older than me, going through a divorce and has 2 kids who are 6 and 5 (they live with the ex). Anyone you ask will confirm that I love kids, but I'm just at a loss here. If things do get more serious, how do I handle being part of the lives of these 2 little kids? Does it just come naturally? I don't want to step on any toes, and I'm so afraid that I'll make the ex mad or something...I don't know, maybe it's not even worth worrying about right now, but I like thinking ahead!

No personal experience with this, but a lot in my line of work. I'm thinking more along the lines of child custody and visitation here. How is that working with the ex? Do they always have problems, and keep going to court? Or have they come to a mutual agreement and don't have any problems? If they're always having problems, I would try and stay out of it. It's okay to support your guy, but don't be the one who does the exchange. Don't put yourself out in front, and make the ex any more mad than she might already be. If things work out with him, you're going to be dealing with her for twelve or thirteen years. Best to make it as trouble free as you can.

 

[TSBRN]

OK, so here's the deal; I met this guy on Plenty of Fish, we've gotten together a couple times, and we really clicked. The thing is, I'm in totally uncharted territory here; the guy's 10 years older than me, going through a divorce and has 2 kids who are 6 and 5 (they live with the ex). Anyone you ask will confirm that I love kids, but I'm just at a loss here. If things do get more serious, how do I handle being part of the lives of these 2 little kids? Does it just come naturally? I don't want to step on any toes, and I'm so afraid that I'll make the ex mad or something...I don't know, maybe it's not even worth worrying about right now, but I like thinking ahead!

I think thinking ahead is great! It keeps you firmly planted on the ground instead of simply following your heart and feelings...which doesn't always work out.

The main thing I would worry about is that this guy is "going through a divorce." That means to me, he isn't yet divorced. Sounds like he is really jumping into the dating pool head first. Statistically, men do start dating and marrying sooner after they are divorced than women do....but I would use caution when dating someone who still has a legal tie to another person.

Not to keep quoting stats or sounding geeky....but usually the first relationship after a divorce is the rebound relationship and the outlook for long term is not good.

Of course, that is not to say it hasn't happened or doesn't happen. Just wanted to throw those thoughts out there since you sound like a sensible person.

Best of luck!

 

[Carrieannew]

I think thinking ahead is great! It keeps you firmly planted on the ground instead of simply following your heart and feelings...which doesn't always work out.

The main thing I would worry about is that this guy is "going through a divorce." That means to me, he isn't yet divorced. Sounds like he is really jumping into the dating pool head first. Statistically, men do start dating and marrying sooner after they are divorced than women do....but I would use caution when dating someone who still has a legal tie to another person.

Not to keep quoting stats or sounding geeky....but usually the first relationship after a divorce is the rebound relationship and the outlook for long term is not good.

Of course, that is not to say it hasn't happened or doesn't happen. Just wanted to throw those thoughts out there since you sound like a sensible person.

Best of luck!

Everything is what I exactly would say.

If he is "going" threw a divorce.. run.. dont walk. Just my 2 cents.

I also have seen what would have been a rebound situation turn into marriage.. so its hard to say.

I just know from experience.. that is a mess that isnt worth it.

 

[starrzone]

No personal experience with this, but a lot in my line of work. I'm thinking more along the lines of child custody and visitation here. How is that working with the ex? Do they always have problems, and keep going to court? Or have they come to a mutual agreement and don't have any problems? If they're always having problems, I would try and stay out of it. It's okay to support your guy, but don't be the one who does the exchange. Don't put yourself out in front, and make the ex any more mad than she might already be. If things work out with him, you're going to be dealing with her for twelve or thirteen years. Best to make it as trouble free as you can.

There is no court involved in the situation. He gets to visit with the kids pretty well whenever he wants as does so as much as he can. Things seem to be going pretty smoothly. I agree with not making the ex mad; I think if things do move forward, I'll let him take the lead. I haven't said one word about the kids other than to ask how his visits with them went; I know that meeting the kids is a sensitive subject and that he has to be the one to bring it up.

The ex of the last guy I was seeing (no kids involved) was crazy, and this was verified by a couple of other people. I should have run far, FAR away from the guy the day he told me that he wouldn't put it past her to come find me and beat me up...

I think thinking ahead is great! It keeps you firmly planted on the ground instead of simply following your heart and feelings...which doesn't always work out.

The main thing I would worry about is that this guy is "going through a divorce." That means to me, he isn't yet divorced. Sounds like he is really jumping into the dating pool head first. Statistically, men do start dating and marrying sooner after they are divorced than women do....but I would use caution when dating someone who still has a legal tie to another person.

Not to keep quoting stats or sounding geeky....but usually the first relationship after a divorce is the rebound relationship and the outlook for long term is not good.

Of course, that is not to say it hasn't happened or doesn't happen. Just wanted to throw those thoughts out there since you sound like a sensible person.

Best of luck!

Yup; my guard is still definitely up on this one. It's still way too early in the relationship to be asking about legal and money stuff, but you can bet that if things progress that I will be making enquiries.

I'm not the first relationship after their breakup; they've been separated for awhile. I most certainly do not want to be the rebound girl, so my radar is still up. Thanks for the advice, though; sometimes you fall really fast and need a reality check...

Everything is what I exactly would say.

If he is "going" threw a divorce.. run.. dont walk. Just my 2 cents.

I also have seen what would have been a rebound situation turn into marriage.. so its hard to say.

I just know from experience.. that is a mess that isnt worth it.

Thanks for the words of caution. I too have seen friends go into really sticky situations knowing that no good will come of it. Sometimes you just have to be there to hold hands and talk when everything comes crashing down. I don't know...I think I read people fairly well and that this guy is truly ready to move on...I guess you'll all have to stay tuned...