OT: Life isn't supposed to work this way

[sayhello]

Thanks again, everyone. You don't know how much I appreciate your thoughts. I did, indeed, miss the funeral, as I didn't know until last night that it was going to be early this am in New York. There was just no way to get there in time. I still haven't spoken directly to my brother or his wife, but I've left messages. I'm hoping to make it to Philly some time after things "settle down".

*hugs*
Sayhello

 

[disneytraveler]

Oh Sayhello,i am very sorry for your family's loss

 

[sayhello]

Thank you!

I've spoken to my brother and his wife. They're kind of numb, but keeping it going for the sake of their other kids. He says that he really doesn't want to ask why. He just needs to learn to accept it. But he feels blessed to have had him for 2 years.

Sayhello

 

[HappyGrumpy]

SayHello, You and I have had some great conversations on these boards and my heart is heavy right now so its my hope that you will not mind if I share the following as this situation is bringing back a flood of memories;

My Aunt who tried for 11 years to conceive finally did so only to loose baby Mason in a bizarre umbilical cord issue. It only happens 1 in 10 million births. Instead of wrapping around his neck, as he progressed into the birth canal he landed on top of his cord. The pressure created a crater like head band from ear to ear cutting off circulation. She was due to deliver any day and new something was wrong. When she called her Dr she was told she was just nervous and that everything would be fine. 24 hours later I was with her when the Drs told her there was no longer a heart beat and I was in the delivery room as she delivered the most beautiful and perfect baby boy that was gone before he got here. My aunt was never able to conceive again and her "window" has no come and gone.

My faith shaken to the core and my heart ached this awful ache as I still to this day want to understand the why. I am not a "religious" person by any means, I am not a minister, a priest or a rabbi and I would never pretend to be presumptuous enough to tell someone how to handle the "religious" aspect of their journey in a situation like this. I can only tell you what my journey looked like..

I just remember feeling every human emotion and they felt like waves hitting the beach. Sometimes they crashed so hard and so loud, like I was in a storm while the winds howled in my heart with the intensity of tears being the external evidence of their affect. Sometimes the waves were soft enough to just crash against my feet. it was enough to remind me they were there. I can only tell you what worked for me was my relationship with the Lord, which has given me have the hope and peace that the time that was stollen from my family and especially my aunt and uncle will be given back to us on the other side of heaven.

Again this is how I handled it, I have seen "religion" help in times like this and I have seen people hide behind it to not cope with their circumstances. Everyones journey is different. I truly hope I have not overstepped any

SayhHello, your presence on these boards as a member and now a moderator has always brought pertinent insight, awesome picture filled trip reports, candidness in your responses and humor to our threads. I hope that we your fellow threaders can continue to be there the same way as you have been there for us especially in this sad time.

If I in anyway have overstepped any unofficial boundaries then I apologize in advance. I just was writing from my heart from an experience that hits very close to home.

You, your family and their precious child are in my prayers.

Ashley

 

[Christyvoltron]

At times like this you dither back and forth about what to say and how to say it and the best way to convey how truly sorry we are for your loss. We search for reasons and explanations and causes but nothing will ever fill the void that is created by the loss of someone special to you. I do not know the words to convey our sorrow and sympathy. Suffice it to say that you have touched the lives of a lot of people in a positive and beautiful way and if any of them, including us, can be of any assistance to you during this horrible, horrible time, please let us know how we can help. Otherwise you will be in our thoughts and we will, to some small extent, be sharing your grief. Good luck and hope it will become less painful soon.

 

[Icemann]

God works in very strange ways.We may not like his decisions but we have know choice but to live with and accept them.You are a strong person as is your brother and his faith with see him through these very hard times.The passing of a loved one is always very hard and when it's a child it's even harder to accept and understand.Are prayers and thoughts are with you God Bless you and your family.

 

[ENSOCK]

 

[sayhello]

SayHello, You and I have had some great conversations on these boards and my heart is heavy right now so its my hope that you will not mind if I share the following as this situation is bringing back a flood of memories;

My Aunt who tried for 11 years to conceive finally did so only to loose baby Mason in a bizarre umbilical cord issue. It only happens 1 in 10 million births. Instead of wrapping around his neck, as he progressed into the birth canal he landed on top of his cord. The pressure created a crater like head band from ear to ear cutting off circulation. She was due to deliver any day and new something was wrong. When she called her Dr she was told she was just nervous and that everything would be fine. 24 hours later I was with her when the Drs told her there was no longer a heart beat and I was in the delivery room as she delivered the most beautiful and perfect baby boy that was gone before he got here. My aunt was never able to conceive again and her "window" has no come and gone.

My faith shaken to the core and my heart ached this awful ache as I still to this day want to understand the why. I am not a "religious" person by any means, I am not a minister, a priest or a rabbi and I would never pretend to be presumptuous enough to tell someone how to handle the "religious" aspect of their journey in a situation like this. I can only tell you what my journey looked like..

I just remember feeling every human emotion and they felt like waves hitting the beach. Sometimes they crashed so hard and so loud, like I was in a storm while the winds howled in my heart with the intensity of tears being the external evidence of their affect. Sometimes the waves were soft enough to just crash against my feet. it was enough to remind me they were there. I can only tell you what worked for me was my relationship with the Lord, which has given me have the hope and peace that the time that was stollen from my family and especially my aunt and uncle will be given back to us on the other side of heaven.

Again this is how I handled it, I have seen "religion" help in times like this and I have seen people hide behind it to not cope with their circumstances. Everyones journey is different. I truly hope I have not overstepped any

Ashley, of course you haven't overstepped. Everyone mourns and deals with these things differently. A lot of people only make it through because of their faith. As I said, my brother and his wife are very religious, so I'm sure it's that, plus their other kids, that is getting them through these trying times.

SayhHello, your presence on these boards as a member and now a moderator has always brought pertinent insight, awesome picture filled trip reports, candidness in your responses and humor to our threads. I hope that we your fellow threaders can continue to be there the same way as you have been there for us especially in this sad time.

Thank you so very much. All of you guys, and your kindness and your caring really has been a huge help.

If I in anyway have overstepped any unofficial boundaries then I apologize in advance. I just was writing from my heart from an experience that hits very close to home.

You, your family and their precious child are in my prayers.

Ashley

Nothing to apologize for. Thank you.

Sayhello

 

[sayhello]

At times like this you dither back and forth about what to say and how to say it and the best way to convey how truly sorry we are for your loss. We search for reasons and explanations and causes but nothing will ever fill the void that is created by the loss of someone special to you. I do not know the words to convey our sorrow and sympathy. Suffice it to say that you have touched the lives of a lot of people in a positive and beautiful way and if any of them, including us, can be of any assistance to you during this horrible, horrible time, please let us know how we can help. Otherwise you will be in our thoughts and we will, to some small extent, be sharing your grief. Good luck and hope it will become less painful soon.

What you've written is exactly what I told my brother & his wife. There really aren't words. Except "I'm sorry" and "I love you". Thank you so much for your sympathy & caring. It really does mean a lot to me.

God works in very strange ways.We may not like his decisions but we have know choice but to live with and accept them.You are a strong person as is your brother and his faith with see him through these very hard times.The passing of a loved one is always very hard and when it's a child it's even harder to accept and understand.Are prayers and thoughts are with you God Bless you and your family.

Thank you! It's hard. We may never understand, but we work to accept.

Thanks.

Sayhello

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Thank you!

I've spoken to my brother and his wife. They're kind of numb, but keeping it going for the sake of their other kids. He says that he really doesn't want to ask why. He just needs to learn to accept it. But he feels blessed to have had him for 2 years.

Sayhello

I guess your brother is starting from a good place. I am always asking "why" and the honest truth is, we'll never know, so there's really no point in it. Still won't change the type of person I am, but I'm glad he's focusing on accepting and coming to peace with it, as much as that is ever possible when losing a child.

Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to provide support when you need it.

 

[sayhello]

I guess your brother is starting from a good place. I am always asking "why" and the honest truth is, we'll never know, so there's really no point in it. Still won't change the type of person I am, but I'm glad he's focusing on accepting and coming to peace with it, as much as that is ever possible when losing a child.

Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to provide support when you need it.

Thank you all so much!

I managed to work it out, and I'm leaving Saturday to spend a couple of days with my brother & his family. Don't know how much I'll be able to do, but at least I'll be there...

Sayhello

 

[Bobo912]

Sayhello, I just returned home from a trip to Orlando with my own precious boy and read your heartbreaking news. I don't know what to say except I am so sorry. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[sayhello]

Sayhello, I just returned home from a trip to Orlando with my own precious boy and read your heartbreaking news. I don't know what to say except I am so sorry. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Thank you so much, Bobo912. Makes you really appreciate them, doesn't it?

Sayhello

 

[glassslipper2004]

Sayhello - I just saw this thread and I am so sorry for your loss! What an unspeakably awful thing. I cannot imagine how you and your family must feel right now. And the other kids too. Life can be very scary. My thoughts are with you.

 

[knewton64]

I'd start this by asking the Mods to move this if it isn't appropriate, but since I'm a Mod, and I have no idea... I'm sure Kevin will let me know.

I just needed somewhere to post this, amongst people I've communicated with for a while, and consider friends. I'm at work, and just got a call from my sister, that our baby brother's 2-year-old son died in his sleep. He had a slight fever, but wasn't actually sick. He went to bed last night, and never woke up. They're very religious, so the funeral will likely be today or tomorrow morning at the latest, so the chances of me making it to the funeral are slim to none. She said our brother was pretty whacked out, so I figure I'll give him a while before calling.

Anyways, thanks. I guess I just need some virtual hugs here...

Sayhello

...Texas hug being faxed your way.
I lost my Mom Dec 20th (1989) and that day has always been very special to me - to celebrate her life in my own private way.


Walt dies on a Dec 16th - and now this. OUCH!


Hang in there please. group hug group hug group hug....

 

[bellebud]

I'm usually not on this board, but found this thread and just had to extend my most heartfelt sympathies to you, your brother & his wife, and their children. I cannot imagine what they're going through, and I'm glad you can go and visit them and spend some time. Just being there for/occupying their other children for a while will probably be a huge help to them.

 

[minniebeth]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss, sayhello. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I pray for peace and comfort for you all.

 

[sayhello]

Thanks again so, so much, everyone. I'm in Philly, looking at blowing snow and near-blizzard conditions. We'll see whether or not I make it out of here tomorrow or not. But I am *SO* glad I came, and even though mostly all I could do was just be here, I'm glad I could do what I could. Family are doing AMAZINGLY, considering. Very, very strong.

Thanks again for all your well-wishes. They were very gratefully received.

Sayhello

 

[Momof3greatkids]

I have lost a child, and there is not a greater hurt or tragedy. So so so sorry.

 

[sayhello]

I have lost a child, and there is not a greater hurt or tragedy. So so so sorry.

I'm so sorry, too. It's just such a senseless thing... *hugs*

Sayhello