OT...Kindergarten or not?

[daisyduck123]

I have not read all of the replies but here goes:

I teach 1st grade...there's one student in my class (May b-day) & his mom did what you did due to very bad speech (was unintelligible until he was 4) & extreme ADHD.

He is the oldest, tallest, & the lowest academically in the room.
If he were not already a year older than most, he would be a candidate for retention. BTW...he still can't form all sounds correctly & is having a tough time learning basic words.

There is a direct relation between speech & reading...you have to be able to hear & pronounce the sounds in order to learn to read.

I would probably wait a year. Since a lot people tend to hold their kids back he will have others in his class who are also his age.

 

[HaleyB]

I don't know of any one that regrets holding a child back before K. I know a lot of people who wish they had. I am one of those people. We thought two years in Kinder would be better than another year in preschool. We were dead wrong.

I was always the youngest in my class and I hated it. It stinks.

On another topic, if your son has a language problem he should be getting free intervention from your local public school system. Contact them and find out how to get him tested for services. A year in a head start or developmental preK classroom might be the ticket and it is free.

 

[twash]

Our cutoff is December 1st. ( hello, fellow michiganders!!) My eldest son's birthday is August 18th. He was on the smaller side and seemed a bit immature. My husband and I struggled with sending him or not. ( I wanted to send him and he didn't ), well needless to say my husband won and we put him in young 5's. He did very well. Although socially he didn't seem ready, academically he was thriving and when he did reach Kindegarten, he was reading well above his grade level and they ended up moving him to the first grade ( which is where he would have been if we sent him). ..... I was right

I guess the point of my story is, you cant really hurt them by holding them back.
If they need to be moved up, the teachers will let you know. My son is in the 4th grade and has never had a problem.

I dont regret doing young 5's, even though they bumped him up. It all worked out okay. Good Luck in making your decision. I know it is a hard one!!

 

[momtomany]

::snip::

There is a direct relation between speech & reading...you have to be able to hear & pronounce the sounds in order to learn to read.
::snip::

I respectfully want to say that there are exceptions to this.

I have a child with a severe expressive language issue who is in 1st grade and reading above grade level. His speech therapy has utilized written letters and words since he was 2 and I really think this is what has contributed to his success.


Beth

 

[sara74]

DH and I were both among the youngest in our respective schools as kids. I made the NH cutoff of Oct 1st by four hours!!!!! I was always the youngest, shortest, last to develop (that was hard for me) but had no probs in school and was academically fine. Went to college at 17, etc. That said, if I were in your position, OP, I would absolutely wait a year. I like the suggestion of a private K and then the public one, for social reasons.

Socially it was hard being the youngest in the class, if there was any question in terms of academic readiness as well, then I would always choose the waiting over pushing a kid ahead. DD3 (4 next month) is in PreK already and holding her own with writing and early reading but socially the other kids can be hard. Her teacher suggested she skip K and I almost choked! She's bright but not a doing calculus or anything and I see no benefit in guaranteeing that she will be the last to wear a bra, get her license, lose her baby teeth, etc. Another year of being a kid is rarely a bad thing for anyone!

 

[DisneyPhD]

To the OP, look at it this way. If you were living in another state with a cut off of Sept. 1, you wouldn't be having this problem because he wouldn't be able to go to school anyway because of when his birthday falls.

MI is way behind the times in sending 4 yr olds to Kindergarten, especially in light of the new AYP and NCLB standards. Our district, in a suburb or Detroit, has a Young 5s program. We also have switched over to a literacy based K program. I know becaue I teach Young 5s and I have had many a K teacher's child in my class! MI is looking to move the start day down to Sept. 1 over the span of a couple of years, but I doubt it will be happening anytime soon.

Check in your area to see if any surrounding districts have a Young 5s program and see if they will accept you child with a waver from your superintendant. Our district does. We have 148 Young 5s in our program this year alone!

PM me if you need more details.

pinnie

My almost 5 year old (will be March 29th) is starting K next year. Knowing if she is ready is a no brainer.

My youngest (for now ) is just 18 months old now with a Aug 3rd birthday. I have to admit that I have been talking with a few mothers in the neigboorhood that said that Royal Oak (our District) is holding back summer birthdays to be sure they get better scores on MEP and such. I have to admit this REALLY bothers me. I do not want my DD to be 18 before she even starts her senior year in HS, while others her age are off at college it seems so unfair.

Now I can't really judge right now if she will be ready at 5. If she isn't that is another story all together, I don't mind holding her back if it would be the best for her. I guess I will just have to wait and see, but it seems so wrong. Especailly when the cut off date in MI is something like Dec 1st or a much later date like that.

 

[jorodopo]

A pp commented on your child being the first one to be 18. My oldest is 9 so I'm not here yet but I have a close friend whose two kids are now in college. One was young for the grade and the other was old due to cut offs. The "young" one changed majors three times as a freshman and then took a year off and just wasn't "ready" for the independence. The "old" one is much more settled. Hard to tell how much of this is age dependent but He does believe that some of it is.

Another point that he felt was very important was by being the oldest you get your drivers license first. Would you rather your kid be getting into a car with someone else or your kid being the one doing the driving? (As I said I only have a 9 yo so I'm still operating under the assumption that I can teach MY kid to do things properly and they will listen better than everyone else's kids )

Make whatever decision you feel is right. Don't let anyone else's opinion drown out that internal parent's sense of what is right. You know your kid better than anyone else does.

 

[tjmw2727]

My almost 5 year old (will be March 29th) is starting K next year. Knowing if she is ready is a no brainer.

sorry for the snip and as great as the rest of your post was this says it for me.

If the OP felt this way she wouldn't be asking.

I have an 11yo who made the cut off and like you no question as to if she was ready. I have a 9yo who just missed the cut off and I thought was ready. She was very ready for the academics but she wasn't as mature as her peers. "Letting her go on time" was the best thing I could have done even when all her friends parents were pushing for cut off variances and using private schools to get the kids into 1st. Now at third grade the peer pressure, teasing, cliques and general 8-9yo madness makes me sooo glad she is older.

I have met so many parents who have regretted sending the kids ahead and honestly haven't yet met one who has regretted keeping a kid back or sending them on time.


HTH
TJ

 

[HopperFan]

From what you describe I would hold him back as well.

I know LOTS of boys in my son's high school that were held back that year and there is NO stigma. My DNephew was held back that year for maturity and it has worked out just fine. My other DNephew with speech issues was not held back and struggled from day one and now at 19 still has not graduated, had to move to a special program. I wish they would have given him the extra year. I think it could have made a difference. My DNiece has the August birthday, they felt pressure to put her in K because she was bright. They regreted it because of her maturity and held her back in K again. She has handled pretty well, but still can get upset her friends went on while she didn't. Give him the extra year !

ps I just read the post regarding speech and reading, and I disagree. I have a disabled child (now adult) who has virtually no speech and hearing/processing issues, and he began reading phonetically and progressed at reading beyond his functioning level. I have DEAF relatives who do not speak and they read very very well. Do not be concerned about his reading. Agree with another poster, if you are not getting speech therapy already being provided by your school district, contact them and they must provide.

 

[daisyduck123]

I respectfully want to say that there are exceptions to this.

I have a child with a severe expressive language issue who is in 1st grade and reading above grade level. His speech therapy has utilized written letters and words since he was 2 and I really think this is what has contributed to his success.


Beth

I respectfully say, "No offense taken ".
Of course, there are exceptions to almost anything.


BTW, I'm not a speech therapist, but I can't for the life of me imagine why anyone would use written letters & words with 2 year olds.

 

[1of6]

DS (the one in question) also has an Aug. 18 birthday. The funny thing, like someone already posted, is that If we lived in a different state with an earlier cut-off then I wouldn't think twice.

DS is in a wonderful program in the public school now. He started at age 2 in the ISD and then moved to our school district at 3. He is in a multi-age program that deals with kids with severe expressive language disorders. He went 4 afternoons a week last year and is up to 5 this year. His teacher is a speech therapist. There is a technology teacher and 2 aides in the room as well. He has OT, PT and social worker (working on social skills) once a week each. He gets pulled out twice a week for speech.

He started at 3 with only about 15 intelligable words. He won't stop talking now but we still don't get everything he says. His teacher likes to hold all these kids because of the whole reading, writing, speech connection. When he goes to K, he will go to K in the morning, eat at school and then go to this program in the afternoon. It will be a long day.

I think I will go with the teacher's advice and hold him. I would rather things be too easy than too hard for him...DS has struggled so much to get where he is. Can anyone give me some insight as to anything that I should be prepared for with having a bigger, older child?

Susan

 

[Collette]

I'm glad you made the decision to hold him. I doubt you will have any regrets. Both of my kids have August birthdays and they both went to Kindergarten when they were six. And neither one of them was the oldest in their class. We just never thought twice about it and they were both academically capable to go at five.

DS is now in grad school and DD is a junior in college. They excelled academically and acted maturely. I can't think of any regrets. As HS graduation neared, I think sometimes they may have wished they were out of high school sooner. But both were always glad to be the oldest in the class rather than the youngest. And to get their driver's licenses first!!

And just because you hold them doesn't necessarily mean they will be the biggest. Especially with boys - height and size as teenagers seem to be all over the charts without regard to age. I know a quite a few who grew several inches after high school.

I always say that we make the best decisions we can based on what we know to be true at the time. Unfortunately that doesn't mean the decision comes easy though or without a little stress.

Collette

 

[the kabuki]

Another Michigander here..

The Senate Education Committee voted 3-2 to approve a bill that would push back the kindergarten birth date cutoff for five-year-olds from Dec. 1 to Sept. 1. The committee vote was split three Republicans to two Democrats, according to Booth Newspapers.

I can't say if this has passed or not, but I do know there's support for this. It would phase in i.e. 2007 cut-off would be Nov 1st, 2008 cut off would be Oct 1st, 2009 cut-off would be Sept 1st.

My DD3's birthday is Sept 15th, she'll be turning 5 about 2 weeks after school starts. Yes, she's the youngest, but it's a personal decision, you know your child best. My gut says she's ready, so she'll go. If your gut is telling you to wait, then I would wait.

 

[Alexsma]

I would talk to the school, they should help you decide. If you son needs speach therapy the school should provide that during the day. Also it is easier for a child to repeat a grade while they are younger than to have problems when they are really getting to that age where the other kids notice. When they are younger they tend to make new friends much easier, it seems like depending on who is in my son's class that is how his new best friend that year gets decided, even then they can be so mean to each other. One of his friends and him get into trouble to bickering in class, the teacher and principal say the are like two little old ladies at time. But at the end of the day they are friends again. Oh well, good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Baytoven]

I don't think you'll regret holding him back.

I was going to ask if 1/2 day mainstream K and 1/2 day special K was an option. If you hold him back, the full day won't be quite as difficult with another year of age. My son tooks naps everyday after school even in 2nd grade; it was so exhausting to keep up. Does you son also receive extended school year summer school?

Academically, I think 1st grade is the best year to repeat, but the social stigma can make it difficult for some kids.

 

[barkley]

dd is 11 1/2 and is an august bday kid. she did a kindergarten prep. class at 5 and entered k at 6. she is doing great in 5th grade and there are alot of kids in the same boat age wise.

ds is 9 next week and started kindergarten at 5 1/2. he has adhd and some speech issues as well as being immature for his age. he did fine in k and 1st but started having some problems in 2nd (awsome in math, but not as strong in reading and spelling). we agonized over what to do this school year-the school would have let him promote to 3rd but we did'nt feel skill wise he was ready. we talked with his teacher and also with my cousin is a special ed. teacher. ultimatly we decided that we would prefer to hold him back in 2nd grade where he would reinforce the skills he needed and likely be very successful in the areas he was already strong in. it came down to "do we want to have him enter 3rd, struggle and HAVE to go back to 2nd, or do we want him to repeat 2nd and become a very strong 3rd grader?'.

it was the best decision we ever made to hold him back. this year he is excelling in all subjects and is having his most successful school year ever. as a result of not having to struggle with his subjects he is much more enthusiastic about learning. he feels successful and is much more willing/interested in pusuing independant learning opportunities.
we've not experienced any social stigma as a result of it-alot of the kids in his class will turn 9 just a few months after he does.

i think it's much better to delay k a year or hold back in the younger grades-it is far more devastating socialy to be held back in 4th and beyond. as far as highschool is concerned-in my opinion it is much harder socialy to be the youngest in the crowd vs. the oldest. i've also known a fair number of kids who repeated early grades, and when they reached jr. high the parents have requested an evaluation of their capabilities only to find that the child is able to skip a grade and ends up right where they would have been age wise in the first place.

 

[disneyobessed]

My 4 yr old son will be 5 Sept 10. Our cutoff is Sept 1. They creat these cutoffs for a reason. We have fullday kindergartin here and what there were doing in first grade 5 years ago they are doing in kindg now. We can appeal it here but there is no way I would even though he actually may be ready. He has been in daycare since a baby so he has been exposed to everything and is socially and academically there. But in the long run its going to benefit him.

I would the your sons therapist and preschool teacher give you advice. THey should know best.

 

[mommyceratops]

My son is very delayed in his fine motor skills and we held him back this year. He will go into kindergarten next year. He missed the cut off by 6 days so the school said it was our call and I am so glad we held him back. If we didn't he would have to repeat kindergarten this year, he is not ready for first grade.

I feel like it is better to telling him he is in K next year than he has to repeat it.

Good luck. If you have even the slightest doubt keep her back.

 

[MichelleVW]

What bothers me is the difference between all the states cut offs!!! I've heard of 5 by June 1st cut offs, and 5 by Dec 1st cut offs!!! That's a big difference. My kids have Feb birthdays so I didn't have to worry about it. I can't imagine sending a 4 year old to kindergarden!!

Like everyone has said before, I haven't seen any regrets from people that held their kids back, but I have seen plenty of kids that should have been held back. There was a little girl in my daughters kindergarden class that was younger and smaller than the rest, and she really had a hard time and you could see the diffence in her work than in the older kids.

 

[Evans Family]

We have held both of our sons back. The cutoff here is Aug 30. My oldest has a June 27 b-day and youngest May 8. We did it for numerous reasons:

1) Better to be the oldest in the class. My sons are both more "leaders" than "followers" and I think that if I had started them earlier they would be more "followers" than "leaders."

2) You have one more year before....learning about Santa.....discussing the Birds and Bees......dealing with all the difficult issues at school...drugs..alcohol. I think they will be more mature if faced with drugs and alcohol in high school and being older they will have a higher maturity level to say "no" and not feel as much peer pressure to go along with the crowd. (of course as a parent I hope they never get faced with these types of issues but I also have been there done that and know better)

3) More maturity when you head off to College.

4) Keeping options open for later. All the private schools in my area have a June 1 cut off so holding them back will leave private school open as an option in later years. I think that if they were the youngest they could possibly get passed over during acceptance for other prospective students who are older.

5) Start them at the head of their class and they will stay at the head of their class.

Also, I was shocked that my sons ended up NOT being the oldest in their class. They had plenty of company.

I do not regret it and feel compelled to tell anyone who asks how happy I have been with my decision.

I also had teachers tell me to send them that they were ready but both my DH and felt it was not the right thing to do. We held them back more for their later years not necessarily for where they are right now.

Ultimately, you have to do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do and the best thing for your individual children. Remember 1/2 of the people will think you are doing the right think and 1/2 will think you are crazy!

Good luck.