OT - Kindergarten for my 4 yo this September

[Hillbeans]

My youngest will be starting Kindergarten this September, he will make the age cut-off by a week so he'll be 4 when he starts. Does anyone else have a 4 year old starting this fall or who started this year? I am just wondering how they adapted to a 5 day schedule along with taking the bus to/from school.

He currently goes to Pre-School 3x a week, 6 hours a day and loves school and would want to go every day if it was offered. He is right on track with his development and reading skills.

I will probably be going back to work FT as i've been working PT jobs for the last 3 years, which in a way i'm excited about as well.

 

[allison443]

I am going to jump in early here. Our cutoff is October 31 and my dd has an October birthday so she started kindergarten when she was 4. Full day kindergarten in a Catholic school, taking the bus both ways. She was ready, and she did fine. The first year they had a number of birthday parties for kids turning five in September and October. She has a few friends who also have October birthdays, they all did very well (now in 8th grade!)

I am sure you will get a lot of different responses. When this topic comes up on the dis there are always quite a few postings about waiting until kids are 5 1/2 or 6 to start kindergarten, holding back kids with April/May birthdays, etc. That is not common around here.

Good luck to you!


Edited to add, I am also in central jersey like you!

 

[TanyaNMJ]

Our cutoff is 12/31 - my daughter's birthday! She went and was fine....first grade this year and it's going even better. I am firm believer is sending your kid when you should unless there is a GOOD reason not to. Holding back a year doesn't solve a lot of issues - it just delays them.

PS We're in Westchester county NY and EVERYONE (it seems) holds there kids back...do what's right for your kid!

 

[balletmom97]

You might want to think about the age/size/maturity difference between your child and the other kids as he gets older.

It isn't so obvious when they are in elementary school, but when you hit junior high, the gap becomes greater...

Some kids do best when they are constantly challenged, others do best when they can be the leader. You know your son better than anyone else.

If it were me, I would wait, but that is just me. I'm sure he'll be fine, whatever you choose to do.

 

[Hillbeans]

Thanks everyone!

I really never considered holding him back, unless there was a concern of mine of or his pre-school teacher but we both agree he's ready. I think I just worry it'll take a little while to adjust to the 5x a week school day. I figure someone has to be the oldest and someone the youngest. He is also a pretty big kid so that's an advantage I guess.

 

[Bastiansmom]

Our cutoff is Sept 1 and DS b-day is August 30, so he was literally the youngest in his Pre-K and Kindergarten class. He went to Head Start and at age 5 he would be "aged out" of the program. So at 3, he started Pre-K. He went to Head Start in the morning and Pre-K in the afternoon. If we had waited a year, he would only go to school 1/2 a day, which we thought would be a step backward. We told ourselves from the beginning that he might have to repeat Pre-K, and that was okay. Starting him early would just help him; like an extra year of learning. It worked out that he did really well accemically in Pre-K and in Kindergarten, but was always "in his own little world." We found out during the end of Pre-K that he has really bad eyesight so he couldn't see the words on the paper in front of him, that's why it seemed like he wasn't paying attention. He went on the Kindergarten and had help/ special instruction that year. We decided to do kindergarten again because even though he made good grades and had no discipline issues whatsoever, he was still young. (I didn't like the idea of sending a 17 year old off to college!) We had to put up a fight to keep him out of Special Ed for the 2nd year of kindergarten, but they finally listened. He is in 1st grade now and doing great; straight As and one of the top two readers in his class.
And he loves his glasses!!!

I would start your DS now and see what happens. It can't hurt.

 

[mom of princessx2]

Our cut off is Aug 1st (well before school starts)and I know plenty of parents that keep kids w/June and July birthdays out until they are already 6. My dd5 has a June birthday and we sent her in August to kindergarten. It was a bit of an adjustment by going all day but she adapted after the first few weeks.

BTW over half of her class was already 6 by Christmas and she won't be until in June and you can certainly tell which ones are older. They are certainly the standouts when it comes to reading and writing.

 

[Riviera510]

My oldest daughter was 4 when she started K. Turned 5 two weeks later.

She adjusted very well. There was never any problem. She did go to preschool the year before for 2.5hrs 3 days per week. Her preschool teacher said she was more than ready.

She is in 1st grade now and doing awesome. You would never be able to tell that she was one of the younger ones in the class.

 

[Goofy_Dad_24]

You might want to think about the age/size/maturity difference between your child and the other kids as he gets older.

It isn't so obvious when they are in elementary school, but when you hit junior high, the gap becomes greater...

where are you getting this information from? just about every person i have ever talked to would state pretty much exactly the opposite of this.

 

[Leajess99]

where are you getting this information from? just about every person i have ever talked to would state pretty much exactly the opposite of this.

I agree. My middle daughter is actually one of the youngest in her grade as I started her on time yet she is one of the "bigger" girls size wise. I so hate saying bigger but she is taller than the majority of the girls and when she was in 3rd grade and we went to this Middle school for my son's open house the teachers were asking her if she was ready for middle school. They just assumed based on her height that she was going into the 6th grade. It was funny because academically she would have done just fine as she tests so high anyway.

You can't really judge a child's age just by looking at them and the maturity thing, sorry but kids develop differently and it would shock you to see some of the kids around here because some just mature faster than others regardless of their age.

To the OP, my youngest had a longtime classmate and friend start Kindergarten with her last year when he was still 4. He did fine but his mom held him back in K another year as he does have some developmental delays with mild autism. They felt it would be better to hold him back another year.

 

[torinsmom]

DS started school when he was 4. His birthday is in August and he was always one of the youngest in his grade. He has done fine. I don't believe in "red-shirting" kids unless there is a real issue(very small for age or developmentally behind)

I am a preK/K teacher and the kids in our class that are the most advanced are actually both July birthdays. Academics is more a developmental thing than an age thing.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

Wow...didn't even realize that other parts of the country allow kiddos to start K at age 4! Here you have to be 5. My DD missed the cutoff so was almost 6 before she started Kindergarten!

 

[southtexasmom]

around here most people do not let their kids start kinder. until they are 6, the cutoff is Sept. 1, my DD has a late June birthday but we still started her when she was just 5, now she is in 1st grade and has always been just fine. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't hesitate to let her start at 5.

If I were in your situation I would let him start school. You will know very quickly how its going to work out for him.

 

[Stephaniecmc]

Like you, my DS just made the kindergarten cut off by 9 days.

My husband and I were reluctant to send him to preschool at 3; but based on our observations and that of the teacher, we sent him. He amazed all of us! He went onto pre-k and I was still reluctant to send him to kindergarten.

But here we are, 3/4 of the way through kindergarten and he is thriving! He's reading at almost a 2nd grade level and is too smart for his own good

I always question his abilities because I never want him to be behind. The teacher continues to reassure us by letting us know just how well he's doing.

I guess after all this rambling what I'm trying to say is you know your child best. Good luck!

 

[balletmom97]

where are you getting this information from? just about every person i have ever talked to would state pretty much exactly the opposite of this.

Spending every day placing kids ages 8 and up into a leveled program.

Every child is different, which is why this is such a difficult topic. Cut-off dates really don't mean much!

Take a random sampling of ten 12 year olds and you will see...girls that look like little girls, girls with periods and wearing bras, boys shaving and boys that have yet to break the 75 pound weight mark and every variation between. Some will still play with toys, others will be "dating"...

Granted, the gap closes pretty quickly...but, probably not fast enough if you are at the bottom of the food chain! If you are on the slow side of development and a full year (or more) younger than your classmates, the differences are just amplified. The "milestones" (drivers license, etc..) will always be a year behind...which may or may not matter to a particular child.

There are certainly kids that do perfectly well and are successful as the younger member of a class, and there are also examples of kids for whom it didn't work. Even kids within the same family may have different outcomes...my friend has young twins in Kinder- DD is flying through, DS struggles every day.

I didn't intend my comment to be taken as "he will always be small/immature, so don't do it"...just that those are things that should be considered in the decision making. It is not just about what they are capable of academically.

FWIW- I would encourage the OP to find a school that will academically challenge her son while allowing him to remain with peers closer to his own age.

 

[Hannathy]

You really have to ask 2 questions is he ready now to handle being the youngest and will he be able to handle being the youngest at the other end. How will he handle not being able to drive on dates when everyone else can? He won't be driving till he is a junior! Does he want to play sports? he'll probably always be the youngest/smallest. There will also be a big developmental difference in the locker room which is more noticeable I think for boys than girls in high school. My DD and all but one of her friends are all 18 as seniors, your son will only be 16/17 that's a big difference.

My DH was the youngest in his class about the same as your son and he has said how much he hated it, that it was very hard on him socially. Work wise he was ahead but socially it was a problem

Friends started their DD young and by middle school wished they hadn't. She was not ready emotionally to keep up with the other kids socially but she tried and ended up not having the maturity to deal with some of the situations because she was trying so hard to keep up and ended up with a very wrong group of kids. She was trying to seem older so she tried to be with the tough kids and made some poor choices that took years to work through.

So don't just base it on whether he can do the work for kindergarten but think thru all 12 yrs. He will also be going off to college early. IMO I would wait.

 

[torinsmom]

No matter if you are the same "age" as your classmates or not, kids develop physically and developmentally at different rates. Some of DS' classmates started needing deodorant and having facial hair at 12, and he did not start these things until he was 14. He was the shortest boy in the class in 8th grade at 5'2 and now in 10th grade, he is taller than most other boys his age at 6'. Same with girls---I was at my current height at age 10, while some girls were still growing until 10th or 11th grade. Don't even get me started on the chest issue. Kids vary and you need to raise your child to know that everyone is an individual.

Marsha

 

[LisaNJ25]

My son turns 5 the first day of school.. that's if we go back September 1st before Labor day. He currently goes to pre-school half day 5 days a week. No busing here so I dont have to worry about that.

All 4 of my kids have birthdays between the end of August-first few days of October. My now 17yo son we ended up keeping back when he was in 3rd grade. While I think it was a good decision I am not looking forward to October when he turns 18 right after he starts his senior years of HS.

Your son will do great. I am sure we will both have tears in our eyes the first day of school.

 

[bear_mom]

My dd started kindy when she 5 years and 2 days. She is the youngest in her class by at least 4 or 5 months and there are kids in her class over a year older than her. She is currently in the fifth grade and doing just fine.

Academically, she is one of the top in her class. Maturity, she is one of the top in her class. Physically, she is the smallest, but she could fit into her sister's second grade class and wouldn't be too out of place (there is about an inch and a half between them).

I don't have any regrets.

BTW, I started college when I was 17. No problems for me. As for sports, I was a swimmer in high school, so size really didn't matter. Driving really didn't bother me too much.

Emily

 

[Aristomommy]

DD11 started school at age 4 and almost 7 years later I am so glad we did it. She was physically mature to start and didn't stand out as "the young one" even in our private school with a lot of red shirted kids. Academically she has always been at the top of her class and an early reader. Socially I couldn't imagine her in a 5th grade classroom where she should be by age as she is more comfotable with 7th and 8th grade girls most of the time.

She also has two boys in her advanced classes that have late fall birthdays. One is short and is likely to be a short boy, so a year of waiting wouldn't change that. The other one is more mature than many other boys in their class. But I look at school first and foremost as an academic institution and kids can have friendships in many different places (neighborhood, sports).

Many people told me I would regret middle school and high school when other kids start to drive etc. DD is well aware of her age and is very mature in her thoughts that she would rather have a challenging school experience than worry about driver's licenses and boyfriends at the exact same time with her friends. In our middle school and high school kids take classes based on ability anyway and DD is in classes with 7th and 8th graders in math and 7th graders in LA. She is exposed to wide age range every day and many of the kids do not plan to drive at 16. Each child is different though and you know your child best. Go with your gut.