OT - Kindergarten for my 4 yo this September

[brandylouwho]

Just chiming in as a girl who turned five a few weeks after kindergarten started...I was fine. I was usually #1 or #2 in my class grades wise, it did suck to be the last of my friends to get my driver's licenese and to turn 21 (but that's life-someone has to be last). I am short and always would have been one of the smallest physically even if mom had held me back. I was in the early group to "develop" even though I was young for my grade. I was only 17 when I moved into my college dorm. No harm done as far as I am concerned.

As others have noted a gazillion times, it really is a what do you feel your child is ready for sort of thing. The birthday cut off is really an arbitrary number--even if the district actually puts research/thought into coming up with the date, it is still just a date that may or may not be appropriate for your particular child.

And believe me, the classroom is already an uneven playing field for many, many reasons (just as real life is I suppose). From socio-economic differences, to parenting skills/homelife situations, to a wide array of learning disabilities and differences. Having 4-6 year olds in the same room is the least of my worries. What I don't undersstand is why people (as a society in general) think & try to make everything equal all the time, as if this makes things "fair."

 

[Aristomommy]

Many parents choose to fool themselves into believing their child is not ready, but if they are really honest about it that is not the motivation. It is about giving their child an advantage, regardless of how detrimental it is to everyone else.

ITA!!!

It is usually motivated by either sports, academic achievement or the parent has a trouble letting go. "Giving the gift of time" is code for the parent wanting the child to stay home with them.

 

[J3nn78]

ITA!!!

It is usually motivated by either sports, academic achievement or the parent has a trouble letting go. "Giving the gift of time" is code for the parent wanting the child to stay home with them.

Not true.
If I decided to send my DS, he would not be staying home with me, but rather going to work with me. It would also save me $400 a month in preschool tuition. We are not at all into sports- so I could care less about that. He is very bright, but I am not trying to make him MORE academically advanced by giving him the gift of time. I have spoken to his teachers, our schools kindy teachers, and numerous parents about the situation. They all agree that keeping him back would be in HIS best interest. Quite frankly, I really don't give a hoot how that would affect YOUR child.

You really should not make blanket assumptions.

 

[dapookie09]

I did kindergarten at the normal age but ended up skipping 2nd grade...so ended up being the youngest. (I was homeschooled at that point, so it wasn't like I had to leave my classmates to move up) I started private school in 8th grade at age 12, 9th grade at age 13 (turned 14 in Feb), not really a big deal. I never made a big deal out of being the youngest in the class, and no one else really did either. I graduated 2nd in my class for high school and took honors-type classes.

I got my license halfway through Jr year, but I also had a brother 1 grade ahead who could take me to school/school stuff, and my parents just drove me around other than that. (My parents had very strict rules on riding with teen drivers) I went to a small private school where a lot of people didn't jump at getting their licenses as soon as they turned 16, so I was hardly the only one not driving.

I started college at 17 and turned 18 February of my Freshman year. A little friendly teasing from my new college friends about being the "Baby of the group," but again not really an issue. My mom had to sign my forms so I could live in the dorms, but it was not a big deal.

I'm 24 now, college was 6 years for me (not slacking, changed majors a few times and transferred schools) and started a great job in my field right out of school. I have a mix of friends, most of them are 23-25...it really all evens out in the end.

 

[Stinkerbell1973]

Well first off, it is not a RULE, but a suggested date for entry

And, is it better for ALL students if a few children were forced to start before they were ready and struggle as a result?

And why are you teaching your child bigger is better?

In GA, it is a RULE - children cannot start kindergaren until they are 5. Cut off is Sept 1. They have to be 6 to start first grade. It's that way for public and private schools. Again, this is a RULE, not a suggested date of entry.
My DD will start kindergarten this August. She turned 5 on Sept 10, 2009. She will be one of the oldest in her class, which I have no problem with. If I had my way, I would have started her this year, but I did not have that option.

 

[J3nn78]

In GA, it is a RULE - children cannot start kindergaren until they are 5. Cut off is Sept 1. They have to be 6 to start first grade. It's that way for public and private schools. Again, this is a RULE, not a suggested date of entry.
My DD will start kindergarten this August. She turned 5 on Sept 10, 2009. She will be one of the oldest in her class, which I have no problem with. If I had my way, I would have started her this year, but I did not have that option.

I think you misunderstood. I understand that it is a RULE that you cannot start PRIOR to that date, but the issue being discussed was breaking the "rule" and keeping your kid past the date.

 

[Stinkerbell1973]

I think you misunderstood. I understand that it is a RULE that you cannot start PRIOR to that date, but the issue being discussed was breaking the "rule" and keeping your kid past the date.

My bad - even reading the original post again I didn't get that, but thanks for calling it out.

 

[scouthawkk]

You know your child better than anyone else. My DD missed the cutoff by two months, but she was very obviously ready for kindergarten. Everyone tried to talk us out of having her tested for early entrance, especially the principal, who had never even met her. She kept telling us how any problems the younger kids have in school, etc. Well, we went with our instincts and had her tested. She blew the lid off the test and thrived in kindergarten. She is now halfway through first grade and is the top of her class in reading and math and has to do independent study for spelling because she is so far ahead of everyone in her whole grade that the teacher thought she would be bored even in the top spelling class. Thankfully the naysayer principal retired right before DD started at the school. I got a lot of enjoyment out of the fact that the last thing she had to do on her last day before retirement was meet with us and tell us how well DD had done and invite her to start early.

So, long story short (too late), go with your instincts, because you know if your kid is ready to handle it.

My son, too, missed cutoff, but only by 11 days. At the encouragement of his pre-k teachers and his doctor, we took the option to have him tested for early entry. Like your DD, he blew the tests "out of the water" (his words when he called daddy after we found out the results). There were 26 kids that tested for early entry that year, two were granted it. He has done extremely well, and tested (automatic testing for all 1st graders, we did not request this) into the talented and gifted program (TAG) for our school system, and was accepted into a full time TAG program school. We did decided to keep him in his current school rather than a full time TAG program. But that is because he is currently in the best (as determined by state test scores) public elementrary school in the county. They even did better than the full time TAG school in scores, so that's why he's still where he is. His teacher does use part of the TAG curriculum with DS and a few of the other students in her class, just to keep them challenged. But it is working well for them. He just finished his second quarter of 2nd grade, and is, again, on the principal's honor roll. You can't tell the difference between him and the other kids in his grade. There are, however, a couple of kids in his grade that are very imature, they are all older than him.

So you never really know how a child will respond. As to adjusting to a full 5 day a week program-not every child goes to preschool or pre-k. Some actually do stay home with mom or dad and only occasionaly have a play date or whatever. And some, like my DS did, go 5 days a week, all day. But even some of the 5 day a week kids have problems adjusting. The teachers know this, and plan for it at the beginning of the year. So if you, and his/her preschool teachers believe they are ready, and they truely seem to love the school/learning, I say send them on time. Adjustments sometimes are needed, at all levels. You wouldn't keep your kid in elementary school because you are afraid of how they would adjust to having to change classes and suddenly get thrown in with lots of other kids from other schools at the junior high/middle school level, would you? If they are ready academicaly, they go. I don't see this as any different. But that's just me.

Also, in Maryland, it is the law (yes, the law) that if your child is 5 by the cutoff, they must be enrolled. It is possible to get a one year waiver, but it is my understanding that you have to jump through hoops to prove they are unable to go on time, just like we had to jump through hoops to prove that DS was ready to go early.

 

[bjacky]

Long live Disney!

 

[princessmom29]

keeping him back would be in HIS best interest. Quite frankly, I really don't give a hoot how that would affect YOUR child.

this is really the crux of the whole problem. No one seems to care anymore how their actions effect anyone else. It is truly sad. "Take care of me and mine and to heck with anyone else" has become the rule of the day. What if everyone around you and your child, their teacher, other students, the school administration had the same attitude? What kind of environment would that be for a child? Not one I would want my child in. Call me a fool, but I cannot live my life that way or teach that to my child. I couldn't sleep at night if I did. It may be in your child's best interest to keep him back and let him be ahead of everyone else, but is it really the socially responsible thing to do?? I think not.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Kids aren't widgets. They don't fit neatly into a box. One kid with a Sept. 1st Bday maybe ready for K but the kid across the street isn't. It is sad that some parents do it for the sole purpose of the kid having an edge. But some people are going to take advantage of whatever system is out there.

My DS will be 7 in April. The boy across the street "Timmy" will be 7 in August. (again we have a December 1 cutoff date). DS is in 1st grade Timmy is in K. DS is doing 4th grade work. Timmy is still learning to count to 20 and has just learned his alphabet. Again, not widgets. If we are going to say kids with a late birthday shouldn't wait a year, then it would follow that all kids should just be passed along from grade to grade whether they are ready or not.

While some people came out unscathed being the youngest others don't, it depends on the kids. The nephew who is just turned 7 and in 3rd grade. His grandma who is brilliant and wonderful and went to good schools etc skipped 2 grades. She thinks it's a horrible idea.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

Kids aren't widgets. They don't fit neatly into a box.

ITA

 

[quentina]

All 3 of my kids were "held". They all attended Pre-K......one of the best decisions we ever made.

My 12 year old is on the principles honor roll, average 99 or above.

My 2 youngest were delayed when we got them (adopted from foster care). They are still not up to pace however; I do think that the extra year helped them.

It is a personal decision....

 

[princessmom29]

Kids aren't widgets. They don't fit neatly into a box. One kid with a Sept. 1st Bday maybe ready for K but the kid across the street isn't. It is sad that some parents do it for the sole purpose of the kid having an edge. But some people are going to take advantage of whatever system is out there.

My DS will be 7 in April. The boy across the street "Timmy" will be 7 in August. (again we have a December 1 cutoff date). DS is in 1st grade Timmy is in K. DS is doing 4th grade work. Timmy is still learning to count to 20 and has just learned his alphabet. Again, not widgets. If we are going to say kids with a late birthday shouldn't wait a year, then it would follow that all kids should just be passed along from grade to grade whether they are ready or not.

While some people came out unscathed being the youngest others don't, it depends on the kids. The nephew who is just turned 7 and in 3rd grade. His grandma who is brilliant and wonderful and went to good schools etc skipped 2 grades. She thinks it's a horrible idea.

Here is the way I see the situation you describe:
"Timmy" more than likely would have been learning those same skills in K last year had he been allowed to go. It sounds as if he was not prepared for K before being sent, or there could be a developmental delay at play. Either way holding him back didn't help. He s now even further behind than he would have been adn playing catch up. Not every kid falls within the normal range for their age. That is definitely true, but the overwhelming majority of 5 year olds definitely meet the minimum standard of K readiness. If Timmy had been sent last year he would have likely gotten the help he apparently needs sooner.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Princessmom29

You don't know "Timmy" Believe me, in this kid's case it was the best decision. Again, not widgets, individual children, that's all I'm trying to say.

 

[zoemurr]

That is a great story. Our district wouldn't allow early entry for any reason. There was no test. So my DS missed the cut off by 12 days. He was so ready for school, but we had to wait until the following year. He was so far ahead of everyone in his K and 1st grade class that we ended up having him skip 2nd grade. It was the best thing for him, and we don't regret it for a minute. He fits in so much better with the kids even though he is the youngest. He even has friends in older grades. He gets all A's still. The teachers say they can't even tell that he was skipped.

I really wish schools would group kids according to ability, and not age. It would be so much easier on the teacher not to have to teach to such a range of abilities. I think the kids would learn faster too.

That's us too. No early entry for any reason. School tested DD at 5th grade reading level at 5 and was not allowed to start early. We had to do half a year of K and then move to 1st in the middle of the year.

She's now in 6th and was just advanced another 2 years in math and has a 96 average. We get the same thing that no one can tell she has skipped. Shis is very tall and quite social. I hate that here anyone can hold their kid back, but a smart kid who just misses the cut off has no option to start early.

Seems that it would be nice for some consistency between school districts too..

 

[lexmas]

I didn't read the other responses. I'm sure your DS will be fine, if you want to send him! DH and I have a loose "if you're 5 by the first day of school you go that year" policy, even though our school district's cut off is December 1st. The reason has nothing to do with "readiness" for kindergarten. DH has a late december birthday and went to school at 4 and he was fine. However, when it WAS a problem was when he went to college. His birthday meant he was 17 his whole first semester which meant he needed parental consent for everything from loans to leases to research projects. It was a pain mailing consent forms back and forth since he was one of the only kids who needed to do that, and annoying from an independence standpoint. So that's our only reason for making that decision. Strange to think about college in Kindergarten, but it is what it is!

 

[Happiest mommy]

this question is for the teachers I read the posts about it not being "leveled" the youngest with the oldest and vice versa but what about the 5 yr olds that never went to pre-school what happens with those children?

 

[J3nn78]

this is really the crux of the whole problem. No one seems to care anymore how their actions effect anyone else. It is truly sad. "Take care of me and mine and to heck with anyone else" has become the rule of the day. What if everyone around you and your child, their teacher, other students, the school administration had the same attitude? What kind of environment would that be for a child? Not one I would want my child in. Call me a fool, but I cannot live my life that way or teach that to my child. I couldn't sleep at night if I did. It may be in your child's best interest to keep him back and let him be ahead of everyone else, but is it really the socially responsible thing to do?? I think not.

I honestly do not have that attitude, but why is it that people expect others to sacrifice for the good of "all" when that is not what happens. All means all. When it comes to the best interest of my child, he takes precedence. Anyone who can sit back and say they would sacrifice the best for their child for the "good" of the crowd is fooling no one.

This is really a STUPID argument.
Let's suppose the cutoff is July 1. So you have a child who turns 5 on July 1 who makes the cut. But the child who turns 5 on July 2 does not. Those kids ARE ONE WHOLE YEAR APART!!!! I guess it is UNFAIR that the child who was born on July 2 gets SUCH AN ADVANTAGE because he has the POTENTIAL to be a whole year older than his classmates. Are they getting such a HUGE advantage over the child who was kept back and born say May 30 or even April????

We are talking no more than a COUPLE months difference over the oldest child who just makes the cutoff.

 

[princessmom29]

i honestly do not have that attitude, but why is it that people expect others to sacrifice for the good of "all" when that is not what happens. All means all. When it comes to the best interest of my child, he takes precedence. Anyone who can sit back and say they would sacrifice the best for their child for the "good" of the crowd is fooling no one.

i often sacrifice what i think would be best for my particular child because it is not what is best for a whole group of children. It is about blancing the needs of everyone and treating everyone equally. My child dose not take prescedence over her peers. She is not the only child in the class or the most important child in the class. I recognize and accept that. It is an important lesson for a child to learn. They will not always come first. The sooner they learn that the better. You say you do not have that attitude but turn right around and state that your child should take prescedence. I totally disagree with this way of thinking. It is important that i adovcate for my child, but not at the expense of anyone else's. That is not right.
we are talking no more than a couple months difference over the oldest child who just makes the cutoff.no, we are talking about children well past the cutoff age who are held back. They can be as much as 18 months older than children entering k on time. That is a big difference!!a 7 year old should not be in a class with a 5 year old.

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