OT: how to delicately resign from the PTA board

[Alexle2007]

This past spring I had got roped into chairing the staff appreciation committee for the PTA. Then when elections for new board members came up, the 1st VP suggested that I run for an office. So I went for it. I really wanted to give back to my son's elementary school that has been amazing and really changed my view on the public school system. Fast forward, the president is driving me crazy- everything is her decision, she sits and gossips about people who are supposed to be her friends to no end, etc. So now I have to figure out how to delicately resign for my own sanity without getting my DS6 who is going into 2nd grade obstracize. We are at a small elementary school so it could easily happen.

Any ideas?

 

[detarica]

I would just say that you need to focus on your family right now, and that you won't be seeking re-election. Offer to help with the transition to the new leader when she finds her next victim. What mother doesn't need more time with her own family?

Your son will be fine. These types of mother monsters don't have as much power as they think they do. Find another way to volunteer with the school through your son's teacher. Normally, there plenty to do that is independent of the PTA.

 

[susykt4]

Make an excuse about work/family/whatever you can come up with and quit. Don't look back and don't worry about it. This is apparently a VERY common issue. I had a good friend drive herself completely nuts trying to deal with the never ending drama of PTA in her small town. If volunteering in the school is important to you, there should be plenty of other opportunities. Hopefully the president doesn't have a child in your son's class

 

[MSSANDRA]

Just another perspective: Suck it up and stay on the board so the the people that really care about the school and the kids get a voice too. I went though almost the same issue when DS now 21 was in middle school. This one mom became president. (I was vice and decline to be president) She wanted to be drama and get all her friends on the board and do her own thing when what we had been doing was working well. Several of us were going to quit but decided to hang in there and worked together to be sure the program stayed in tract. I don't blame you for wanting to quit but if you have a few others that feel the way you do, stick together and make it work. If you decide to quit, just tell them you are no longer interested in working on the board. Become more involved with the classroom and don't worry too much about your child. You really don't want her to be friends with this women's children any way, do you? Good luck....it's a tough place to be.

 

[Alexle2007]

Thanks, everyone. I know that staying on the board in the right thing to do for the school and students. I just hope I don't lose my sanity doing that. Our principal and asst principal have told me over and over much my staff appreciation efforts boosted employee morale and I got so many nice emails and thank you cards from the teachers saying how they have never felt so appreciated in their 20, 30 years of teaching. We have teachers for the 1st time ever volunteer to chair PTA committees for this coming school year.

And, unfortunately, my son and pres's son are in the same class along with the another VP's son. Luckily, my son is friendly to everyone so whether I want him to be friends or not, he'd still end up talking and playing with him at school because that's just his personality.

Now to buy few cases of Smirnoff Ice so I can make it through the year.

 

[Aliceacc]

I think that, aside from real issues (like family illness) you really need to stick out the year you said you would do.

The school year probably hasn't started yet. It's possible that things will settle down once the president gets more comfortable with her own role.

 

[luvmy3]

I think that, aside from real issues (like family illness) you really need to stick out the year you said you would do.

The school year probably hasn't started yet. It's possible that things will settle down once the president gets more comfortable with her own role.

Or like in our school's case, worse

I do agree though, OP since you volunteered and were voted in I'd stick it out this year. You never know, maybe you will find the power and support to change things. If not, then don't set yourself up for re-election next year.
I know its easy for me to say that, you should do what you need to that works for you. Good luck

 

[4under4]

Please stick with it. "When good people stand by and watch bad things happen", as the saying goes.

We had an issue 5-6 years ago with the type of Pres you referred to. For 6-7 years the board had essentially been the same 3 women, plus one or two newbies that would get completely disillusioned within a month (myself included). After a two years of seeing this, myself and another mom banded together to force real change... PTO coups are interesting ;-). Sadly, the organization has yet to recover its bad reputation left over from their actions.

I'm not saying you have to make any kind of big stink, but a few "hey ladies, I know we all have errands to run and dinners to cook, so how about we focus on finishing our discussion about XYZ" is a pretty easy way to redirect gossip. And as far as everything being her decision, it sounds like you had a lot of autonomy as the head of Staff Appreciation committee, so work off that. Bring new ideas, implement what you can, and sometimes bite your tongue.

 

[720L]

You could lose your sanity, I almost did! I just finished being President, and unfortunately it has totally burned me out from volunteering. I wish I wouldn't have gotten THAT involved. Good luck.