OT: How should a 'normal' 3 year old behave?

[princesspwrhr]

Our biggest struggle right now is teeth brushing. <snip> Any suggestions from other moms of strong-willed kids?

You could ask the dentist for the color tablets and make brushing her teeth a game. She chews the tablets and it covers everything pink and then she has to brush away the pink. Tell her that the pink shows the plaque that the cavity bugs like to eat and as long as she makes sure the plaque is gone it will be hard for the cavity bugs to come back. Be prepared to have to chew another pink tablet after she's done to be sure! LOL

I wish the Listerine for kids hadn't been recalled - it did the same thing, but turned teeth blue.

Is your water flouridated? If so does your daughter drink it? If yes to both talk to your dentist again and see if she needs the flouride toothpaste. Maybe she can go back to what she likes if she's actually brushing her teeth with it. My kids all HATE kids toothpaste. Doesn't matter the flavor, character, sparkles or what, they all hate it. So they use regular toothpaste.

 

[Rylee]

The year our son was turning three, we were pregnant, and knew from sonograms, our baby would be born with a very rare birth defect. We needed to deliver the baby at a hospital, 350 miles away from our home, so he would be near his specialist who needed to perform surgery right after birth. I was hospitalized one week before giving birth and the baby remained in the hospital for 5 weeks after birth.

With all the stress... a worrisome pregnancy, the death of my M-I-L, 4 other children to consider and make arrangements for, countless doctor appointments, etc... I decided not to try and potty train our 2 1/2 year old son until we returned home. (He had enough to deal with... our absence, a new baby, etc.) The baby was born in May, we return in June and our son turn 3 in July. August came and I was ready to begin the training. Training our 3 daughters was a breeze... all before 2 1/2 years old.

Well, it wasn't a breeze this time around. So, at a Dr.'s appointment in August, I talked with our pediatrician. He said...

"Make him responsible for his own training! At 3, he's old enough and he's certainly bright enough."

The Dr. didn't explain how I was to do this, so I thought about it for a couple of days. A few days later, as I was dressing him for the day, I put on his shirt and a pair of underwear and said, "The doctor said you are old enough to go on the potty, and that's what I expect you to do. Here's some extra underwear, if you have an accident, you'll need to change yourself."

He wet his pants twice that day and that was it! A friend tried this with her 3 year old son and it worked for them, too.

I know it won't always be this quick and easy for everyone, but if your child has adequate bladder control and understands the expectations, this method eliminates the power struggle.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

My DS3 has selective deafness, too. If he does not want to do it, he pretends he doesn't hear you. He will turn his head away and everything.

As for the teeth brushing, he is the same way. He hates having his mouth messed with by anyone. He won't even open up for the doctor to look at his throat. And he won't brush his own teeth with the minty toothpaste. Our dentist actually told me that if he will let us brush even with just water, it is better than not brushing at all.

After a week of the vice grip wrestling match, he went back to the non-fluoride toothpaste. He swallows a lot when he rinses, and swallowing too much fluoride toothpaste is not good either, so I suppose it is for the best.

DD4-1/2 was willing to use the minty stuff starting right around her 4th birthday, so I am hopeful.

 

[hematite153]

[
Our biggest struggle right now is teeth brushing. ...she clamps her mouth shut after saying 'cats don't brush teeth' (she is obsessed with cats).

We brush the teeth of both our cat and dog. (Although they can have their teeth cleaned at the vet this requires putting them under and is difficult for them. By brushing their teeth they need this less often.) Don't know if this would help, but if you have a cat, start brushing his/her teeth too. You could then point out that your DD was so smart to realize that the cat's teeth needed cleaning too.

I'd like to say that I agree with everyone--your DD sounds very normal for her age.

As an educator, the issues you describe could be viewed as indicators of:
- being a normal child
- ADD (without the 'H')
- hearing issues (a smart child could be partially reading lips when they care enough to focus and not when distracted)
- giftedness
- etc.
Can you tell why so many educators don't like trying to connect an action to an identification? I encounter a lot of people who are surprised that symptoms of ADD and giftedness can overlap.

My overall guess is that your DD is a normal 3 year old with strong verbal skills and a good sense of self identity.

But, if you are worried...check with your pediatrician--although it sounds like you've already been assured on this front. If you want more assurance and detailed information about how your DD learns and performs, you could get a psycho-educational assessment. They are expensive though! (But, they can separate the early signs of giftedness.)

 

[Nom]

Thanks everyone for the ideas on toothbrushing- I have a suprising update from last night!

My dh took her on the way home to pick out her own toothpaste. She ended up picking some weird brand with a cat on it and fruit flavor. At bedtime, she wanted to get her paste and her brush herself from the counter, and put the paste on, and then brush herself, and then she let him brush. I was so suprised! I was worried how it would go this am when I had to do it, but it went perfectly ! I told her how proud I was of her, on and on.

I guess the combination of choosing her own paste, putting it on the brush herself, and then doing some brushing herself was enough for her to feel she has some control over the whole thing. One down- now after the holidays it is operation potty training!

It's funny, my cousin has a son my dd's age, and she did a similar thing as you, Rylee, where one day she just put him in underwear and he was trained. We have put dd in special panties ,and she consistantly just pees or poops in them and makes no effort to use the potty or tell us she has to go. So I will tackle that one in the new year... for now, I am just happy she is brushing!!!

I think part of my frustration with her is that she and I were so close for so long, and she was such an angel. I don't know if is because we nursed for a long time, but she was never difficult- so now that she can be SO stubborn, I think I am having a hard time dealing with it since it is such a change for her in her interactions with me. I guess it is part of the natural separation process as they grow up, but it's not easy. I miss my little baby! (I guess that means its time for #2!!)

Anyway, thanks again for listening. I so appreciate all your stories and ideas!