OT- How many kids is too many for a kid's birthday party?

[BoilerGirl91]

I am trying to finalize the guest list for my daughter's 8th birthday party next month. Between classmates, day care, soccer and neighbor kids, we are at 21 kids. Granted, it is summer and I doubt that all will show due to vacations, etc.

My daughter also wants to invite her brownie troop. This is an additional 13 girls. Problem is that this fall, I will be one of the co-leaders of the troop. So I kind of feel like we should invite all or none of the troop. Although she is friendly with all the girls, she only hangs out with a couple at events, etc. I don't want to snub anyone, but I don't want my daughter (or myself as the co-leader) to look greedy by inviting all these kids.

What would you do- Invite the whole troop, none of the troop or just the couple of girls from the troop that she seems to have a friendship with? My daughter is all paranoid that no one will show up because it is summer and not in school time. I figure if she gets 8 kids to show up, she should be happy.

 

[imthatgirl]

my opinion, thats way too many people. but, we dont do these over the top birthday parties here. my daughter turned 8 in june. all she wanted was a sleepover party. we invited 5 kids. we ordered pizza had cake and watched movies. i did their hair and nails and had some crafts. it was cute.
but i guess if you dont mind the cost, go for it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We usually have 20-30 kids at each party. The more the merrier we say!

 

[stsomewhere]

MY DD has 8 girls in herbrownie troop. All of the girls invite everyone from the troop.
We have had large parties with family and friends.
But, I told my kids to only invite the kids they are friends with.

DD has 2 girls she really likes in her troop. We arrange get togethers over the phone or by email. So, the other girls don't feel snubbed.

 

[lovinpoohbear]

I personally would invite the whole troop. It is hard when others talk about so and so's party and feel bad that they weren't invited.
DS4 is in preschool and several families have had parties where they only invite like half the class. Than some kids feelings get hurt when the kids talk in school about the party.
I invited DS preschool class because I don;t want anyone to feel left out.
No flames please. It is just something I feel strongly about, I guess I am a all or nothing type of girl

 

[vcgirl925]

My friend only invites the number of friends as her dd's age. So if she's turning 8 she can invite 8 friends. I think at that age it's a great idea. Plus family and family friends plus 8 friends is a good sized party.

 

[Tammysue5]

We have had small numbers and large numbers of kids... both are great!

We too were worried about all the gifts if we invited so many kids...

When DS was 14 he wanted to have a big pool party... we rented the local Pool w/fountains/slides/etc. We asked how many people we could invite... they shared that we could invite no more than 600! I assured them this would not be a problem. DS was able to invite everyone he wanted and their families. It was great! The pool cost was only $260 and we made the cupcakes, rice krispy treats, lemonade, etc. We had all but 2 of the 70 kids show. DS had made the invitations himself and had added that he did not want presents... but if they would like they could bring an item for the local shelter. We had brought a 50 gallon tub to put the 'stuff' in.... We ended up w/2 pcikup truck loads of everything from toothpste/brushes to laundry soap.

My son is not a person who likes attention so we annonymously delivered the loads to the church for pickup. We were amazed at how generous everyone was.... DS had a great time... and so did EVERYONE else.

 

[Minnie_me]

If you have that many kids, be prepared to keep them busy! We had over 20 at my DD's 7th birthday party, and it was awesome! We had "centers" (I'm a Kindergarten teacher, so it just made sense - LOL!) -- a couple of different crafts, a pin the tail game, a relay race, etc. And the kids went around to each different station.

We did cake and ice cream all together, and while DD opened gifts, the kids were allowed to play in the yard ---- it takes WAY TOO LONG to sit and watch a child open 20+ gifts -- don't make that mistake! I know that it's common etiquette to watch the birthday child open gifts, but when kids are that little, and it's that many, you have to use common sense. (i guess you could even have a gift-opening "center"!??!??!)

 

[momtomari]

i usually invite btw 10-15 kids and yes its hard my daughter is very active in sports so btw preschool, dance, soccer, gymnastics, and tball it is hard to decide. my dd5 birthday is in may and this past year we had her bday at a inflatable place and had 16 kids.

amanda

 

[mamaLori05]

I'm on the side of just inviting them all. I too would feel bad if someone were hurt by not being invitied. For my dd's 3rd b-day this past spring we had 25 kids. The kids had a ball!!

 

[a1tinkfans]

I personally would invite the whole troop. It is hard when others talk about so and so's party and feel bad that they weren't invited.
DS4 is in preschool and several families have had parties where they only invite like half the class. Than some kids feelings get hurt when the kids talk in school about the party.
I invited DS preschool class because I don;t want anyone to feel left out.
No flames please. It is just something I feel strongly about, I guess I am a all or nothing type of girl

As a former Scout leader, I agree, ALL or NONE!

 

[minkydog]

I dunno, we always went by the "age equals # of guests" rule. turning 8? 8 guests invited. We always had our birthday parties at home, so I really did not want to have 20-30 kids running in & out of my house.

 

[canadianmom2three]

My DD is also 8 and we have always had small parties. This ast year she was in a split class, and wanted to invite her classmates from that class, plus all her friends who are also in her grade, but in the other split class. Then she has some good friends in the neighbourhood, and on her sports teams, so it was getting a bit out of hand.....
We ended up renting the ice at a local arena, and invited the whole gang, plus sibs and parents to come. It was a lot of fun, and we just gave out cupcakes and coco.

We asked on the invitations for NO gifts only canned goods or unwrapped toys for the christmas toy drive(dd's bday is end of Nov), there is absolutely no way that I would feel comfortable having such a large party with gifts. We collected a pile of food and unwrapped toys for charity, and DD was happy to spend the afternoon with her friends. It was actually no more work than a smaller party at home.

 

[LoveTwoTravel]

The rule at our house is the children can have as many guests (over to the house) as they are old. 8 years, 8 kids.

If we have the party elsewhere then, if we invite classmates, we invite them ALL. No one is left out. Then of course we add in cousins or close friends.

I'd say invite around 25 because many will not be able to come. You'll loose 5-8 who can't come or have other obligations, etc.

We also always ask that one of the invitee's parents stay at the party.

OH!! And we ALWAYS say "no gifts" or "bring a new or gently used book" and we donate them to a literacy program.

Happy Birthdaying!

 

[zoemurr]

and we had 16 I believe.. although last year we had more. We always have it on a Friday in July and only have had a few that couldn't come.

We set up carnival games in the back yard and had lots of adult help.

We do donations instead of gifts too... they get everything they want from family, and 16-20 more things would be crazy. We take them over to the Ronald McDonald house and they make a big fuss to the kids over their generousity.. I know this has been debated here before, but it is a great tradition for us, and I promise you my kids want for NOTHING.

While inviting all the girls is good in theory.. I have to tell you.. one year I made DD invite all the girls in her class. (2nd grade) A few of the girls really took over and initiated some activities that DD didn't want to do. (Nothing naughty, just stuff we didn't plan.) It really took away from her party. When they left, and I was exhausted, she just looked at me and said, "See, I told you we shouldn't have invited them." So now we just invite the ones she selected. I think that the party being in the summer the girls that she doesn't really hang out with wouldn't know a thing about it would they?

My DD is 9 and totally understands that she can't be invited to every party, nor would she want to be. (I'm a leader too for DDs GS.. but my troop is unfortunately quite "clique-y".. is that a word?) We invited 4 girls from the troop, and she was invited to theirs, and not the others either.

Have fun! What are you planning on doing for activities?

 

[BoilerGirl91]

Thanks for all the responses. I am still kind of torn as to what to do. I am leaning towards just inviting the original 21. Currently, we have a deposit down for a party at the local bowling alley. There is no way I would have 20-30 kids in my house. We also have a separate family party, so all these kids and adults won't be together for one big party.

 

[topannapot]

thanks alot

 

[mommyof2princesses]

We also do age= # of guests. Although we may have done a few extra last year for DD who turned 4. I think she had 6 guests. My older dd who turned 13 in Feb had a small get togehter at a indoor swimming place with 4 kids. It was nice and intimate and we did lunch at Panera and I drove them all to the water plac and home. I believe she likes the small party dates! My younger dd who will be 5 this year will have 5 girls plus 1 boy (he is her best friend the poor kid!) to her party. Keeping it small means we can do it in our house and not feel overwhelmed. It is too hot here in Sept to do an outside party!

 

[sk!mom]

What kind of party? To me number of guests depends on location, cost, etc... A sleep-over or costly venue needs a limit a pool party can accommodate many guests.

My DD12 just had 24 guests at a pool party. She had slumber parties a couple of times and enjoyed them but the necessity of limiting the guest list stressed DD out so she has gone back to pool parties the last couple of years because she can invite as many as she would like.

 

[jnzimm]

I am trying to finalize the guest list for my daughter's 8th birthday party next month. Between classmates, day care, soccer and neighbor kids, we are at 21 kids. Granted, it is summer and I doubt that all will show due to vacations, etc.

My daughter also wants to invite her brownie troop. This is an additional 13 girls. Problem is that this fall, I will be one of the co-leaders of the troop. So I kind of feel like we should invite all or none of the troop. Although she is friendly with all the girls, she only hangs out with a couple at events, etc. I don't want to snub anyone, but I don't want my daughter (or myself as the co-leader) to look greedy by inviting all these kids.

What would you do- Invite the whole troop, none of the troop or just the couple of girls from the troop that she seems to have a friendship with? My daughter is all paranoid that no one will show up because it is summer and not in school time. I figure if she gets 8 kids to show up, she should be happy.

In answer to your question 2. As many as you feel reasonably comfortable watching.