OT- How many kids is too many for a kid's birthday party?

[nonzerosum]

My DD turned 5 a few weeks ago and we had 12 kids. She was overwhelmed by the end and has been saying since that she doesn't want as many kids next year. Probably depends on the personality of the child (and the mom for that matter). It can get so tricky when deciding who makes the list--I hate those kind of decisions because feelings are easily hurt. Good luck!

 

[BoilerGirl91]

The funny thing is, now after all this planning and tormenting over who to invite, my daughter tells me today she just wants to have a sleepover with two girls from summer camp. Go figure. You can't win for trying sometimes

 

[TinaLala]

I can feel this for you.

7th birthday. We make our invites on the computer. I give DD 10 invites to bring to school and pass out. Unbeknownst to me she goes onto computer and reprints 10+ more invites and pass them out to school. Sudden we're getting calls from everyone. The count 25 girls.

Now I'm planning a luau party, we have a large swingset and a pool, plus our yard is big enough I figure 25 girls and their parents, no problem.

NO - it rains like it's never rained before. The gutters are flowing over, the sump pump is going off because the ground water is rising too high.

The party moves from outside to my cellar - thank goodness I have a large open room, not a pretty one mind you. It took my mother and I all day to redecorate the room with Haiwian themes. Never again.

Now I say you're 9 - you can invite 10 people. You're 6 you can invite 7 kids.

 

[rt2dz]

I say invite the friends. We don’t exclude because how do you explain that to a child? Well, I wanted you there, but we had to draw the line somewhere and Jane just ranked over you? I hate that old, out-dated rule of the kids age + 1. However, we don’t invite kids my child doesn’t like, unless it would exclude only a small number from a large setting (like not 1 kid in a class of 20). Not all kids come anyway.

Large doesn’t mean over the top—that has to do with cost, imo. And I don’t think it’s “greedy.” It would never dawn on me to think someone is inviting a kid to get a gift. Maybe because that isn’t why we invite kids...? Heck, my neighbor doesn’t have birthday parties for her kids anymore because it costs more to have a party (her kids all share one party since all their birthdays are within two weeks) than what the gifts equaled. THAT’S greedy. Of course, otoh, it makes sense. They can buy a WII with everything or give the kids a birthday party. I think the party is about the experience and the birthday child having fun. I’ll take a memory over “stuff” any day.

DS7 has a ton of friends and his parties are BIG! DS4 is mellow and has a small group of friends and his parties are always small. Each has all their friends and has all their dreams come true for their day.

 

[BroganMc]

My parents deprived me. My parties (and there were really only 3 I know of) included my family and only my best friends. I went to a few others of classmates over the years but nothing huge. My SIL seems to invite half the neighborhood and the next two over for good measure. I've been to enough bowling alleys, play parks, backyard BBQs and pool parties than I care to remember for my nieces and nephews. With 9 kids in the extended family, we are a small army ourselves. My sis just invites a few friends for her boys, maybe 1-4 tops. They are 7 & 9.

I love the idea of the "no gifts/just donations". How many things can one child have before everything loses its meaning?