OT: Do You Dread "Back To School"? Long

[devotedchristian]

Since DS(7 next month) started school 2 years ago, I have come to dread when it is time for him to go back to school. And to make matters worst, he still does not even like school...this last teacher (1st grade) was just awful.

He goes to public school literally 5 minutes away from our house so the location is excellent. He has to be there from 7:55am-2:30p.

DH (WAHD) picks him up from school and he is home with DS for the rest of the day.

In our area, the local retail stores (Walmart) included have already started their "Back to School" campaign and to be honest just the thought of it stresses me out. Buying the school supplies, the clothes, the shoes, it all stresses me out.

I think it is because DS HATES the school that he goes to. It is not a good fit for him. He will be retained in 1st grade (DH and I are OKAY with this)

I honestly think either Homeschooling or a Montessor school is a better fit for his personality. But neither of them is an option right now because DH and I are saving our money to send off SD(17) to college this fall.

She will be almost 4 hours away and there is just so much she needs, but the bottome line is we can't affor it this year, so the target is next year.

But at least I can put my focus on either Homeschooling or touring the 2 Montesorri schools in our area for this year.

DS's first day of school is August 3rd. So far, he's been having a great! summer with his cousins, playing and such. He doesn't even want to hear the word school.

But I he doesn't know how I feel either about his school, I keep it on a POSITIVE note.

This last year stressed me out so bad, I just felt so....overwhelmed. DH and I attended so many P/T conferences, and trying to volunteer in his class... and just keep up.

Another thing I don't like is how much they push 1st graders. His science project had to be a 3D Diorama project. Whatever happened to just a white poster board???? That's how our science projects was when we were growing up.

AND he had to give an oral presentation on it. He had just turned 6 so his maturity level just wasn't there yet for this type of stuff.

Another thing they geared up us Parents and 1st Graders for was the mandatory CRCT testing, where every 1st Grader MUST pass the test in order to be promoted to 2nd grade.

They started "studying" for this 3-hour test in August and took this test in April. Completely stressed DS out. And since he is retained in 1st Grade he has to go through it all over again.

I'm sorry, this turned more into a vent. I just wish DH and I could afford to either homeschool him or send him to a private school. But we can't.

Anyone else dread Back to School sometimes? Or do you look forward to it?

If you look forward to it, can you tell me why? Maybe I am missing something

 

[RumpleMom]

My kids are grown now, but I remember the days when I preferred having the kids home during the summer because we had no schedules to follow. They got up when they wanted and pretty much went to bed a lot later than during the school year. Plus no after school activities to run to.


It is good that you are showing a postive attitude about school to your son. He has many more years of schooling ahead of him.

No doubt he will find repeating first grade a much easier experience. He will be more ready to do the work that is asked of him.

Education has changed over the years, mostly due to technology, and children are being educated to do jobs in the future that don't even exist now. That's why he is being asked to stand in front of his classmates and speak in first grade. Educators are seeing that teenagers are becoming more and more isolated from each other because they communicate through technology.

It is important for kids to learn at a very young age to communicate verbally, so they will grow up feeling comfortable doing it. The more you do something the easier it gets and the younger you start, then it becomes second nature.

 

[MSSANDRA]

So sorry your little one has such a negative view on school so early. I think your goal needs to be to change that this year. A differnt teacher can do wonders as can a year of maturity. First grade is the best year for children to repeat. Do you have any input to which classroom your child will be in? A great child- teacher match can do wonders. It's great you are trying to be positive about the situation. Reasure your child that he will be in a new class with a new teacher and you are sure that he is going to like school much better next year. Be VERY carful not to let him hear you discribe projects you think are too hard for him!!!!

Remember that you can also reinforce the education he is getting at school at home, a great idea to test out the home school route for next year.

also consider a charter school or even another school in your district. Sometimes that is an option.

I would try to give him a break from worry about school BUT be sure not to let his skills get rusty. Read with him every day, and review his math skills as well. If he continues to strugle next year, ask for testing to see if there are program that might help him to succeed!

 

[tmarquez]

Sorry for your situation OP. I don't like DD's school either, but there's really not a viable option for us either. But I am lucky because DD likes school.

I do look forward to school starting for a few reasons. First, even though summer should be carefree...it's just not because DH and I both still have to work and DD goes to daycare early in the morning. DD also thrives on being on a schedule...and when that is disrupted all heck breaks loose! And I REALLY hate when my doorbell starts ringing at 10pm and it's the 5yo from next door wanting to play with DD (but that's another story!).

 

[dizneychik]

Hugs for you! We moved from GA in October 09. I home schooled DD for her first grade year until we moved because 1. She was in private school in k5 but prices kept going up(3 times in one year) 2. We lived in the only District in the Nation that had no accreditation (You know it-Clayton County).

So our option was home school. We chose to use the GVA-Georgia Virtual Academy. That may be something to look into. You can still set your own schedule and hours and they have field trips and teachers that are willing to help you with whatever you need help with. Some of the families that I met had both parents still working in the home but were able to work it so that they could learn from home.

I hate that they changed the CRCT testing criteria. That is something I do not believe first graders are ready to take. Georgia has always seemed to have some problems with schools and testing and its sad that so many kids may get left behind because they are not ready to pass a test.

If you want to know more about GVA send me a pm and I will answer any questions I can for you.


here is an article that one of my fb friends/gva(GCA) friends just posted.

http://www.ajc.com/news/cyberschools-approved-georgia-kids-552783.html

 

[DisneyDorkORama]

I dread it too..for multiple reasons...1.) its so expensive you have to buy new clothes, new shoes, new supplies, and not only do you have to buy supplies for your child but you have to buy supplies for the whole classroom. I only have 1 in school, and i have 3 kids I am really starting to dread the cost of having all 3 of them in school at once. 2.) My son has picked up such a bad attitude ever since starting school. This attitude and his dis-respectfulness didnt start until he started school. I honestly believe he picked it up at school, so now I worry about what else he might pick up or learn from school that I wont be so happy about 3.) I hate the waking up even EARLIER

I am all ready starting to stress about it too...

 

[bumbershoot]

3 hour test in 1st grade...sigh.


What if we help you with THIS, instead?

She will be almost 4 hours away and there is just so much she needs,

I moved from CA to WA for college, and after I was settled into orientation, my mom went back home and moved to FL. Talk about being far from home!

What does your daughter need? You're working this summer to get things for her, so she's working, too, yes? Bedding can be brought from home. I went from a bigger-than-full sized (water)bed to a twin size bed in the dorm, and sheets just got tucked further underneath. Comforter was nice and big on my tiny bed. Brought a ton of stuff from home. My dad did end up buying me a dorm fridge, which was nice, but unnecessary for actual school. Books of course were expensive, but now there are so many other options for textbooks rather than being stuck with the expensive college bookstore!

What does she need? How can we help get those things in a more budget way, so that you can also focus on your little one's early school years? Because surely the one embarking on her college career can understand better that her little brother has some strong needs, and that she can better help out than to ask HIM to understand and help his nearly adult sister. (please note that I'm the oldest of 5- there's a 25 year difference between me and the youngest- so I DO understand being the oldest and having littles with more NEEDS than I do)


He might enjoy things more in his re-do year. He might not. I was one who did not ever enjoy school, and would have absolutely THRIVED in a homeschool environment, but for financial reasons I was never even told of such a possibility. So I suffered through school and very likely did worse academically than I would have done if I'd not had the social pressure while trying to learn (the whole point of school).

Since you already know that his personality would work better with Montessori or homeschooling, gosh, I know that many here would love to help with the budget part of the things your college person needs, so that your younger's needs can be met as well!

 

[lovetoscrap]

Please don't discount homeschooling just because of financing. It is very possible to homeschool on a shoestring budget, especially if you are able to spend sometime with Google! There is so much available online that you can really set up and entire year of school with just a computer, mouse and printer. There are thousands of sites with lesson plans, worksheets, ideas etc. The local library is a great source and often they have a section of books with lessons etc that you may not be aware of.

Some sites charge a small fee per year but you get so much out of it. Also check out any local homeschooling groups (check yahoogroups.com, at your local library, and just a general search) and often people are willing to hand down things they are finished using, or there are used materials sales where you can get things for a steal.

You shouldn't need to pay for a "prepackaged" curriculum or an umbrella school (unless you are in one of the few states that are a PItB). If your state learning objectives are available online you should be able to use that as a guideline, or get the book "What your X Grader Should Know" and use that. Workbooks can be bought at Walmart and Target and even the Dollar Store (I got some GREAT Disney Workbooks there a few years ago!)

Homeschooling is a huge commitment and not to be entered in without a lot of thought (and prayer) but finances shouldn't be one of the deciding factors. Heck, your child can wear old clothes, no buying school lunches, no field trip fees, no teacher gifts, no need for 30 glue sticks they will never use, etc... so it could come out about even!

 

[Britgirlus]

My son just finished 1st grade also - but had a wonderful year, excellent teachers and he loves school. We are very lucky !! I'm actually looking forward to him going back LOL I run a daycare, the kids are all aged 4 and under - so having a 7 year old here all day every day makes it a little crazy ! Having said that - I know that last year I said the same thing, but was still pretty lost once he was back in school all day - he has a 5 minute walk to and fro the school, and is in school 7.55am-3.15pm, so it's a long day for him !! As for the expense - I spend very little - Walmart has wonderful back to school sales for school supplies - and he still wears the clothes that's he's worn all summer, so no new clothes to buy. I've never understood the need to buy new clothes for school ? (Unless there's a uniform, of course).
I hope that your son gets a different 1st grade teacher this time round, and grows to love (or even like !) school - sounds like you could all do with a much better year this time round

 

[BBGirl]

My DD just finished 1st grade. She LOVED it. We cyber school. Which is public school at home. Maybe you should look in this option in your state. There are teachers for bsck up when something is not getting through. You send work samples to the teacher so that you know your child is learning. They send just about everything. It is great all around.

 

[KK'sMommy]

Please don't discount homeschooling just because of financing. It is very possible to homeschool on a shoestring budget, especially if you are able to spend sometime with Google! There is so much available online that you can really set up and entire year of school with just a computer, mouse and printer. There are thousands of sites with lesson plans, worksheets, ideas etc. The local library is a great source and often they have a section of books with lessons etc that you may not be aware of.

I was going to say something very similar. Homeschooling does not have to be an expensive undertaking. Heck, my parents homeschooled three kids on a teacher's salary! I also agree with the previous poster that you can go budget on the college stuff too. You can find so many textbooks used online and hit up some garage sales/thrift stores for dorm or apartment accessories. I wouldn't let that influence my decisions to much.

 

[kkmcan]

I am totally dreading back to school this year. DS had an awful teacher last year. She gave way too much homework that we could never finish in one night. It would cause my DS to get overwhelmed and meltdown which caused family stress. I would alert his teacher to the fact that it was too much and she just thought he was lazy and distracted and would send him to lunch detention to finish it. He never did finish because he was too upset. UGH!!! It was never ending with this teacher. I felt she was completely unflexible and very much like a drill sargeant. She did not treat her students as individuals with different needs.

So going back to school means that we get up at the crack of 5:30. DD's bus comes at 6:35, I run around getting everyones lunch ready, Dh off to work, DD off on the bus. I get my shower, throw in a load of laundry, clean out and load dishwasher, grab breakfast, get the dog meds, water etc for the day. Get DS on the bus and head off to work myself.

We all come home exhausted, hungry and grouchy only to have to start on the nightmare called homework. I would give anything for the kids to not have homework. I don't see any educational value in it (that's a whole nother topic though).

Then it's dinner time- who wants to cook after a long day? Sports practices and run home to showers and hop in bed by 9:00. Exhausting!!

 

[lathamary]

We are fortunately able to send DS7 to a fantastic little private school that is about 8 blocks from our home, and I can't wait for him to go back to school in the Fall!

We started him out at a public school for kindergarten, but the kids there were awful! Kids these days are so mean to each other, and it's just accepted as "kids being kids". We pulled him out of there after a few months, and homeschooled for the rest of kindergarten. I have a bachelor's degree in education, so I am more than capable of home schooling, but I really wanted him to be a part of a class and get out of the house every day!

At the school he goes to now, it is expected of the kids to treat others with kindness. The word "stupid" and other negative words are not allowed, and fighting play is not allowed on the playground. The kids care about each other and give each other hugs and pats on the shoulder and encourage each other. It is a complete 180 from the public school, where the kids were constantly tearing each other down.

It's really too bad that we have to go to a private school to find a positive atmosphere, but that's how society is these days: we tear each other down instead of building each other up. I see this reflected in the kids in public school.

The private school DS goes to is a Lutheran school, but we are not exactly religious people. I believe in treating all living things with dignity and respect, but it is not rooted in any Dogma... it's just what I believe in. I couldn't care less about the Religious aspect of DS's school, and am a little disappointed that we had to turn to a religious school to find a place where kids were expected to treat each other with kindness.

So, yeah, to answer the original question, I am not dreading school this Fall. DS7 is a home body, and it's like pulling teeth to get him out of the house to do anything - he just wants to stay inside and play video games or computer all day - but he loves going to school, so I look forward to school again this Fall!

 

[yellowtink]

Just a little help with your son hating school.This should work for a high schooler and an elementary school student. Try to get him to think of reasons he would WANT to go to school, like to see his friends

 

[bellebud]

yes, I used to dread back to school, before we started homeschooling. DD10 and DS8 went to school up until last spring, when I pulled them from our private catholic school (4th grade and 2nd grade). Summer vacation, when "my family" was really "my family", was the best time of the year. Now, every day is like that.

When the kids were in school, dd was pretty much fine, but ds's work was getting worse each year. He'd come home from school with incomplete classwork to make up, then had to do the regular homework. He was having such a hard time, but of course was soooo done by 3pm when I picked him up, it took hours (literally) to do all the work. All the while, whining, some crying, stalling... the school got the "best" of him, and I got the "rest" of him. This was not what I thought it would be. Something just always felt wrong. He felt "stupid", and was just becoming an unhappy child.

So I pulled them - I knew no one who homeschooled, but just had to try it. We found a couple of local hsing families, and things grew from there. We now have a really, really awesome homeschool support group, do tons of things w/ other homeschool families, the kids have real friends in our homeschool groups, just like they did at school (and they've kept some old friends too). We do science fairs, art fairs, field trips about 2x's a month, hold other events throughout the year, have a yearbook, hire professionals to teach classes (art, science and shakespeare right now), went to Williamsburg for a week w/ other families, take archeology camp 2x's a year... the list goes on and on. So that's just the social stuff.

One of the first things I did when I pulled them was assess their learning styles. My dd was always ok academically, but ds just wasn't "getting" things I knew he could/should. Assessing his learning style was the best thing I could have done for him. He now learns things easily, because I can present the material in the way he needs it. ie... He was struggling in 2nd grade w/ subtraction - when I pulled him from school, an experienced hsing mom told me "leave him alone w/ the subtraction for a while. he doesn't HAVE to learn it in 2nd grade, he can certainly learn it in 3rd grade". I'm so glad I listened to her. He actually skipped subtraction, went into multiplication (totally learned that by playing yahtzee w/ me), and now does division, all orally, nothing written for now. But he's doing oral word problems like "if Pete has 3 workers with him, and we're paying Pete $24,000 to add on to our house, and he's dividing the pay equally w/ himself and his workers, what do they each get paid?" If he had to read this, or have it written out as 24,000/(3 + 1) = ? he couldn't do it then. But just asking him, he thinks for a few minutes, says $6,000 each, is thrilled w/ himself (then I show him on paper what he just did, and he can't believe it)... he's confident in his abilities now, instead of feeling "stupid" because on paper, this was hard for him, but you HAVE to do it that way in school. Not my little guy anymore. The actual "writing" of the math was taking away, or getting in the way, of his ability to "do" the math, if that makes sense. As he gets older, we'll transfer to the written part, but we'll wait a bit. No need to rush - he doesn't have to take a state test until 5th grade. This is how I'm looking at homeschooling now - I have x amount of years to help them understand x amount of work - it doesn't have to be in the exact order the school was doing it in, and it certainly doesn't have to be in textbooks.

As for the money, it can honestly be almost free. You can get from your library the book "what your x-grader needs to know" by E.D. Hirsh (there are many other books too, this is just what was recommended to me). I get this book and a "national standards" workbook for each grade (from Sam's Club), open them up, see generally what they should be learning, and teach it in their own learning styles, which never includes anything I have to purchase. We do the 3r's most days, and everything else is in "chunks". We listen to "living history" books-on-cd in the car (from the library) (we're always in the car because we do so many things now), watch history dvd's (library or history channel), I read out loud to them, we use the internet... the free things are so abundant today, it doesn't have to cost anything really.

And our days are nothing like a scheduled school day, which is so great for ds especially. He needs small bits of learning w/ lots of breaks. We school year round now, with small breaks when we feel like it. We also 'school' 7 days a week, because I'm finding the longer we hs, the more learning happens all around us, all the time. It's actually difficult to "turn it off". the kids can follow their interests, and learn from them (ds is into guns right now, so we can follow that interest into history, science, math, he can write about guns... it just goes on and on).

sorry this is so long, but your post struck a chord with me, and I can't even fully explain how homeschooling has turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to our family - socially, academically, the kids stress levels (oh yeah, ds was starting to get what we think were ticks - that's all gone now). Google hsing in your area, ask at the local library for local families (and go talk to them) or groups and check out your states regulations before you dismiss it all.

good luck!

 

[lathamary]

We now have a really, really awesome homeschool support group, do tons of things w/ other homeschool families, the kids have real friends in our homeschool groups, just like they did at school (and they've kept some old friends too). We do science fairs, art fairs, field trips about 2x's a month, hold other events throughout the year, have a yearbook, hire professionals to teach classes (art, science and shakespeare right now), went to Williamsburg for a week w/ other families, take archeology camp 2x's a year... the list goes on and on. So that's just the social stuff.

This sounds so awesome!

I searched for a homeschool group for us for the short time I homeschooled, but they were all Christian-based groups, and that kind of turned me off. Christianity can be great, and DS7 now goes to a Christian school and we absolutely love it, but the homeschooling groups were way too fundamental for me. Had there been a secular homeschooling group, I may still be homeschooling. Though, since we do love the school he's at now, I'm kinda glad it didn't work out.

Anyway, with a great support system like you're talking about, homeschooling can be fantastic!

 

[skip323]

Sorry to hear about your situation! School is tough...no matter HOW you do it! Public, Private, homeschool.....everything can have its challenges. That being said, it is very difficult if a kiddo does not like it or if you do not like the teacher or school. My friend and I both decided, this summer, that we were going to have to be "that parent". The ones we didn't want to be because she and I both work in education and don't like "those" parents....the ones who insist upon certain things (like teacher etc). We have both tried to "go with the flow" but it has not worked.

My friend set a meeting with the principal and is now excited about next year as they went through various data and determined the best teacher for her daughter. I am currently working with my dd9's principal to meet and determine who will be best for her. I can ill afford to sit and wait for things to get better anymore. I did all of the volunteering and attending meetings and attending PFO meetings etc but now I feel that I have to be proactive and get in there before the year starts and insist upon the BEST environment for my daughter. She bombed our state test, is going into 4th grade and only has, in my opinion, a year or two to catch up before there are HUGE problems!!

I know you mentioned quite a bit of involvment but, if you opt to go back to that school, try having a meeting before the school year. Make certain that placement is appropriate and that the best teacher for your child is the one your child will get. It may make a huge difference in how both he and you view school next year!

 

[gatormom2tots]

As a 1st grade teacher here in GA, I gotta tell you it breaks my heart to hear how a child hates school- but I understand that it has been very difficult for your little guy!

You got some great advice- best if luck.

Also- I really hope the school did not tell you CRCT was required for promotion to 2nd grade because that is an absolute mistruth. The 3rd grade test is the first grade that they say you must pass for promotion (and still I can count on one hand how many 3rd graders failed who actually got held back- they do summer school, gets exemptions, etc.)\

Good news is for now, no testing in 1st and 2nd grade for the upcoming years. As a teacher I am absolutely thrilled they took away this developmentally inappropriate test in 1st grade!

 

[chewysmom]

Honestly, I would hs him. I've hs'ed now for 6 years, and while others spend thousands of $$ every year to hs, I never have, and my kids are still getting a great education. For First grade, it shouldn't be that much to buy hs materials. (ds is going into 1st grade, and I think I spent less than $200 total).

The good thing about hs'ing is you teach to your child, NOT a test. I'm aware of exactly where my kids are academically. I know when we can steam forward, or when we need to slow down to really get something.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Since DS(7 next month) started school 2 years ago, I have come to dread when it is time for him to go back to school. And to make matters worst, he still does not even like school...this last teacher (1st grade) was just awful....But I he doesn't know how I feel either about his school, I keep it on a POSITIVE note....

OP - I'm glad you're keeping positive to DS. The right teacher-student fit can make all the difference, and he might have a great year next time! The other thing I would do is make sure he has a friend in class. - I don't know how class assignments are given in your school, but if they are posted, you can just go through the list and see if you know anyone in his class, then make some playdates. When DS was in kindergarten, they just sent us a letter, so we didn't know who else would be in the class. I put up a sign on the bulletin board at the library during the summer, saying something like "In the afternoon class this fall? Meet at the playground on __ at __ to see who's going to be in your class." - and it worked. He went in knowing a couple of other boys, and was really comfortable about going.

... Assessing his learning style was the best thing I could have done for him....The actual "writing" of the math was taking away, or getting in the way, of his ability to "do" the math, if that makes sense....it doesn't have to be in the exact order the school was doing it in...

Bellebud, your whole post was inspiring, including the stuff about how to homeschool inexpensively, but I found the part I scatter-quoted really fascinating! (My DS likes to do his math in reverse, too - gets the answer in head, and then grudgingly goes back to the "show your work" part.) Congratulations on figuring out the best learning pattern for your DS, and on your homeschool success!

OP - You don't have to be able to homeschool to use what she talked about. Take a look at some things your DS likes to do and does well, and notice how he learned those things. Did you read to him about it, did he look at pictures or watch a program about it on television? Did he see someone do it, or try it himself and just get better by practice? Did he learn with things he could touch? Now when he has trouble with homework, have him do those things with the school information. - For example, if he learned about dinosaurs by playing with toy ones, give he counters he can move around to do his math (and you don't have to buy things - legos, goldfish crackers, whatever is already in your house works fine.) If he's good at basketball and learned by doing it over and over, chalk a number line on the driveway and have him do his math problems by jumping. Go with his strengths....And if the new teacher comments on good homework, etc., make sure to tell her how you worked with him! If she's the kind of teacher DS has had, she may incorporate some of it in class to help other students.