OT-Dinner Dilema

[Beehn]

I need help, and thought all you good Moms (and Dads) out there might have some advise.
DH and I both work full time...usually I pick up the kids from daycare about 5:00ish and head home to get dinner going. We have 2 DD's 1 and 5.... DH has been working late the past couple of weeks...leaving me to dinner duty by myself. You wouldn't think that to be a big deal, but I'm about to loose it! I always try to have things organized so I know what I'll be making and I sometimes even have things already chopped up and ready to go. I'm not a gourmet cook, so most meals take 30 minutes tops. During that time both DD's are apparently staving....DD 1 is crying (so is DD5 sometimes) I try to turn on a movie, but that doesn't work. DD5 wants to go outside, but that makes the little one go crazy and I won't let DD5 watch her sister by herself outside. I can put the younger one in the highchair with Cheerios, but by the time we actally get ready to eat she wants to get down.
I'm sure this whole thing is because I haven't seen them all day, and they just want a little time....but I need to get dinner going and then have time with them. Please no comments on how bad I am for being a working Mom, I already feel bad enough. I'm just looking for some advise...does anyone else have this problem? By the time we get to sit down, I'm usually exhausted or about in tears myself.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

No flames here, just empathy. I'm a single mom in addition to being a working mom. I pick up DD at daycare between 5:30 and 6:00 depending on how late I have to work. We get home around 6:15 or later depending on traffic.

I've given into fixing extremely simple "meals". Grilled cheese and scrambled eggs are common, mostly because DD is such a picky eater. It got discouraging spending all this time to fix a nice meal and have her not even touch it. Frozen veggies are easy to pop into the microwave. Although DD prefers fresh green beans so I often take the extra time to fix those.

Have you tried using a crock pot? I'll often stick something in the crock pot, usually a roast or chicken, in the crock pot in the morning so it's ready when I get home.

Get into the habit of preparing as much as you can the night before. I'll peel potatoes and fill the container with water so they don't brown.

Also, have you looked into one of those meal prep companies? The names excape me right now, but you go there and prepare meals for a few hours, then they go in the freezer and you just pull them out and heat them up when you want to use them. I haven't done it, but lots of my friends have and they love it.

 

[TheLittleRoo]

I remember those days with a younger and and an older who screamed during dinner prep!

I think you're right about spending the first 15-20 minutes just focusing on them after picking them up from childcare. Good strategy and very important, as it is key for letting them relax a bit from vying for your attention later.

So spend that time on the floor with them when you get home, puzzles, games, barbies, whatever. Then maybe put DD1 in a high chair with some cheerios like you said, and ask DD5 to help you with dinner? Or give her a toy that she only gets during this time (to make it 'special' and rare) so you can focus for 30 min on dinner.

Of course, there is always the crockpot for easy dinners. Set it on a timer to come on 4 hours before you get home? Or freeze dinners you make ahead of time so all you have to do is pop them in the oven when you get home?

Also, one idea I love is to give kids a nibble tray full of 6-10 items maybe just 5-6 peices of each, so it's like a buffet of finger food for them. I use a muffin pan. Broccoli & dip, raisins, goldfish, cheese cubes, yogos, you name it. If they graze on these things, it adds to their dinner instead of competing with it, kwim?

As a last resort, there's always take-out until DH stops working late hours?

 

[bartleby1]

I don't have much advice but wanted to let you know that dinnertime preparation is hard with little ones and I can totally sympathize! My kids are getting a bit older (8, 6, and 3) so it is getting a little easier, but I still get the "I'm STARVING" and "why isn't it time to eat yet", LOL. I'm a SAHM and always alone for dinner prep and many times need to get the kids fed and out the door for karate, gymnastics, teeball, softball, brownies, etc. and it can be stressful.

The only advice I can offer is to try to double cook when you have time. For example, make two baked zitis at at time and freeze one for a later date. It takes a little planning, but try to cook extra of certain things to use later in the week. For example, if I'm cooking chicken, I cook double the amount when I have the time so I can just heat up the leftovers later. Many times I'll buy a big package of boneless chicken breast and make chicken parm with half and dump a can of gravy on the other half on a night when the kids don't have any activities. I'll cook them both at the same time but only use the chicken parm for dinner. This way, the next night, the chicken and gravy just needs to be warmed up quick.

 

[RadioFanatic]

you also may want to make one or two items on sunday to cover for dinner. For example, yesterday I made enchilada bake and mac and cheese casserole. Each have enough for two days so I'm now covered for M-Th.

 

[sashagiselle]

Thanks for posting this! I know how you feel! I also have two girls ages 5 and 1, same story, as soon as we get in the house the madness starts. I have the 1yr old clinging to my leg as the 5 year old is repeating, I'm hungry, I'm hungry. Great suggestions so far!

 

[RMulieri]

I actually make as many meals for the wek on Sunday and either refrigerate or freeze them and then heat them up throughout the week.makes life so much easier.

 

[mom in 2005]

I can feel your pain, as I have a dd3 and I am the one who picks her up and handles dinner and most evenings alone. To conquer the I'm starving, what about giving them a snack in the car on the way home then once you get home you will have a little time before you need to get dinner started. Can you bring them in the kitchen with you and give the 5 yr old an activity to do, play do, coloring, hand held video game, can you put on Dora the Explorer or whatever show they like to watch to give you some time to get dinner together? ( I might get flamed for suggesting tv but hey, it works for me!)

I also agree with the above about making simple meals, some evenings we have boiled eggs, cooked the nite before with some microwave veggies and rice, another thought is to eat as the food gets ready as opposed to make a full plate of meat, veggies and starch. Some days, I'll give her the veggies first, then once the meat is ready, put that on her plate and keep it going from there, it's also a way to get her to eat the veggies since that's all that's there. I don't know how late you stay up, but you can try to cook the nite before and make the plates up then when you come in, you can stick it in the microwave and go from there. Some days I do just lunchmeat, cheese, baby carrots and some fruit and then give her jello or ice cream and that's real simple to do and fast.

It's hard but doable with some planning.

Naomi

 

[kt_mom]

I feel for you. My DH doesn't get off until 8:30 or 9 most nights, so dinnertime is all me. DD and I get home about 6:00. We do a lot of simple dinners. Chicken nuggets and veggies, cereal and fruit, scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, macaroni. Sometimes I'll cook DH dinner after DD goes to bed and if so, then DD and I have the leftovers the next night. Or I'll do a roast in the crockpot and I can take some out for DD when I get home and the rest can stay in until DH gets home. And we do take out too. Sometimes its just easier and I'd rather have the time to play outside with her instead of being stuck in the kitchen.

And she usually sits down and watches Disney channel while I fix her dinner. It gives her a few minutes to relax and unwind from her day too.

 

[design_mom]

Mine are getting a bit older now, but I remember that time and it's so frustrating.

I agree that spending 10-15 minutes with the kids often makes things much better. They crave your attention as soon as you get home. At our house we watch *very little* TV, but on nights when they just can't seem to entertain themselves, I will turn on a video or something.

Also -- another thing that worked with my kids at your kids ages was to get them to "help" make a salad for dinner. Even the little ones like to rip lettuce or add the cheese, and if they eat more than they put in the bowl it's not a big deal because at least it's healthy, right?

 

[puffkin]

Omigod, I am totally with you on this

I am practically in tears every night til my DH gets home and he just doesn't understand why. I have to do the daycare pickup EVERY day and I hate it. My son (he is 2) is at the stage where he doesn't want to get in the car seat, so I have to force him in there and get all stressed out. Then we get home and chaos erupts......

Brady doesn't want to come in the house, he wants to go out to play. I drag him inside kicking and screaming. The dog is going nuts. I let him outside to do his business and get the mail. Somehow Brady usually slips outside so I have to drag them both back into the house. Then Brady is screaming that he wants his milk and the dog is barking like crazy for his supper. So I try to get the milk without Brady snatching it from my hands and spilling it then get the dogs dinner. The cat by this point is weaving in and out of my legs because she wants attention. I usually have peace at this point for about 2 minutes. I usually quickly flip through the mail and listen to messages.

Then I run upstairs and try to change quick and start a load of laundry. By this time Brady is done with his milk and wants a movie on. Fine, I start one and he grabs some toys. STart to prepare supper...everything is going fine and then he is trying to get outside or trying to grab stuff off the counter or trying to touch the stove. I am usually half way into a recipe and can't "stop" at that point. If I give him a snack (he can't be 'starving either' since he gets a late afternoon snack at the sitters) he won't eat supper. If DH doesn't get stuck in traffic he is usually home by this point but he is usually moody after a long day and doesn't want to come home to a screaming child. He has "stuff" to do and I get done with work so much earlier than him....blah, blah, blah Trust me, I would much rather work an extra 1/2 hour and deal with a little traffic

I really have no good suggestions for you, OP, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I DREAD coming home from work every day....but usually by the time we actually eat things calm down. I also refuse to make junk food or do take out for dinner so I just deal with it so we can have a nutritious meal for dinner (not saying I NEVER do a quick meal or take out, but we try to limit it as MUCH as possible ).

I also tried the pre-making meals on the weekend, but I HATED that because then I spent my whole Sunday cooking and couldn't spend that doing other projects or just spending time with my son. The only thing I have found is that if possible I try to make double batches of things and then freeze half for later. It doesn't really take much longer to do that.

Good luck and as I keep telling myself, this time shall pass

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

My mom swears by the cook on Sunday for the week method, but the weekends in my house are busy and I don't want to spend 1 day of my weekend cooking all day.

I use the crock pot sometimes or I'll prep things in advance to toss on the grill. Boneless chicken breast in a zip lock bag with fat free yogurt and some herbs cooks up great on the grill.

check out the cooking/recipe board for other dinner ideas too.

 

[RadioFanatic]

why kind of meals are y'all cooking that it takes all day sunday? my mac and cheese casserole and enchilada bake took an hour tops. Other things I have made, meatballs for spaghetti and meatballs or subs, chicken and rice; pizza bake, pizza, and I'm blanking out on others but it usually takes me an hour at most.

 

[mommyaof2]

First of all, don't feel bad. I am a working mom and feel bad daily about it, but I have to work, no choice about it. I some nights feel that I am going nuts and am in tears myself trying to juggle everything, so I am right there with you. My kids are older, dd6 and dd8, but they love to argue while I am cooking for some reason. What I try to do for meals are simple things. Spaghetti, scrambled egg sandwiches, hot dogs, hamburger helper, meals in a bag work great (reynolds cooking bags, throw some chicken breast and potatoes and carrots in one and it takes about an hour, and while it cooks, you can spend time with the kids). I also try to cook once and eat twice so that I am only cooking every other day. This works great actually. Hang in there. I do feel your pain.

 

[luckey-lasvegas]

Just a thought: But can you maybe grill you main dish on the barby while the girls are playing outside, and either prep side dishes after that or have them ready from a previous dinner? If all else fails give the kids a bowl of cereal and make dinner for you and hubby later. Don't hold yoursellf to that perfect dinner idea for you it's just not possible right now. They won't remember that you made cereal for dinner but they will remember that you played tag in the backyard with them.

 

[AngieWin]

I understand! The easiest meals are pop in the oven or open the crockpot and be done!

Have you tried doing your meal in courses? Have the first "course" ready in the fridge when you get home, whether it is raw veggies, crackers and cheese, a bowl of cooked veggies that can be microwaved for 30 seconds, salad, etc. Serve this to the kids as soon as you get home and finish the rest of the meal. Aim for meals that can be done in 30 minutes.

Or have steps in meal prep that your lil ones can help with. This incorporates spending time with them and getting the dirty work done. Make a big deal about them being helpers and get them an apron or oven mitts (they dont touch the oven though!!) that are just for them to help with food prep.

DD5 can - set the table (plates, cups, forks), stir

DD1 can - set out napkins, take condiments to table, dump ingredients into bowls

Other suggestions - plan your meals for the week on Sat/Sun and have all ingredients ready to go in the morning
- plan super easy meals once in a while, frozen pizza night, pick up dinner at the grocery store night, etc
- maybe a picnic dinner outside (sandwiches, chips, juice boxes outside on a blanket)
- GIVE DH HIS OWN NIGHT EVERY WEEK TO PLAN/MAKE DINNER, or sorry, did I say that too loud?!? If it is planned ahead of time that it is HIS night, hopefully he can follow through. On his nights, my dh often does takeout or pizza, but if it is 1 night I am not planning/thinking/doing the dirty work I am good with whatever he does!

 

[Beehn]

I am so glad I'm not alone. Thanks to everyone for the suggestions...but it just helps to know that I'm not the only one out there that feels like this. I just feel like I get so little time with the kids, that I don't like to be meanie mommy and yelling and stressed out to get dinner on the table. I guess I'll just keep going with the crock-pot and as much made ahead as I can....and know that this phase will pass. (then I'll probably look back on these as the "good old days!")

 

[lunalibre]

I understand completely how hectic dinnertime can be. My kids are older now (8 and 11), but I came up with a strategy that worked when they were younger, and I still use it.

1. I spend absolutely no more than 20 minutes cooking a weeknight dinner.
2. Make a list of every dinner you could prepare in 20 minutes.
3. Sit down with your "dinner" list once a week, figure out what you'll eat the next week, and go grocery shopping. This activity currently happens on Sundays for me.

You don't know anything you can fix in 20 minutes, you say? Well, I do a lot of double-duty cooking. Any main-meat portions, we cook double. If we're grilling chicken/pork chops/etc., we grill double. The extra goes in the freezer. I can reheat the leftovers, fix some fruit and vegetables, and we have dinner in 20 minutes. This process works best with simply-flavored, no-sauce meats. Or, say you're making meat spaghetti sauce. Cook a double batch and freeze the leftovers. This way you're not cooking twice, just twice as much.

For me, I've found I can't really leave the crockpot on all day. Mine runs too hot (even on low) and overcooks the food. Evenings or weekends, I'll throw something in to eat later. This works great with chicken taco meat, italian chicken/turkey/beef, etc. I can freeze the meat, set out a package the night before, and dinner prep is a snap.

If you have a main course that you can fix or reheat quickly, you can get your whole dinner on the table much more quickly. Honestly, it was faster and less work than even something like hamburger helper.

Something else my kids loved when they were little...I bought a big container of cheap cookie cutters at the dollar store. They were useless as cookie cutters , but they were perfect for letting my kids think they were "helping" me while I was cooking. Once I could guarantee my kids wouldn't eat the playdough without constant supervision , I set them up at the table with the cookie cutters and the playdough so they could make "dessert" for us.

Good luck!

 

[Princess Roo]

I'm another person who doesn't want to spend a big chunk of a weekend preparing the week's meals alone, but I get together with my sister once every month or two and prep a whole bunch of meals for the freezer while the DHs watch the kids and it doubles as a little "girl time" for me, too. I *love* the Super Suppers cookbook for some freezer meal ideas. And then the old-standbys like soups, lasagna, baked ziti, enchiladas. A few times a year we go to one of those prep places (Super Suppers, Dream Dinners) and get some meals to add variety (good - but more expensive). We eat meals from the freezer 3 weekdays per week on average - and I choose the ones that don't require much in the way of sides. We eat out another weeknight and we eat leftovers the last night,. Weekends, DH and I each take a night to cook something more involved (not gourmet- LOL), generally.

 

[zoemurr]

dinner. (It's what I do when I don't feel like cooking.) I give them a bit of whatever protein we have: tuna, scrambled egg, cold cuts, leftover meat, whatever fruit I have (sometimes from a can) and a veggie (they love frozen peas). I give them a rice cake or some crackers. Covers all the food groups.

Another thing that is fun is a rice cake and pb and raisins, or veggie pieces. Cover the rice cake with the pb and let them make a face on it. keeps them busy while you're cooking, but they're not eating yet.

My kids eat lots of brocolli and calliflower, so I always have that cooked. They have a veggie/cheese tortilla at least once a week.

I'm not much of a cook and I don't stress about meals. As long as they get their fruits/veggies I don't think it needs to be anything fancy.