OT - Can I Lock My Kids in a Small Box?

[who's ur daddy?]

My mother would always warn me to be careful of strangers. If I weren't, there could be circus people who would snatch me and keep me locked up in a small box - so that I'd become a midget for their freak show I guess...lol.

But I kinda want to do that to my kids cuz they're growing up way too fast. First year of public school for them this year. They rode bikes without training wheels for the first time yesterday. Starting hockey league this morning.

Everything is going way too fast. It seemed like only yesterday I could carry the oldest one cradled in one arm.

But happy to see them enjoy life so much.

 

[dancin Disney style]

My oldest started college this year Wait until that happens and then try and figure out where all the time went.

 

[Oshawa]

Totally understand how you feel. I feel the same way when I look at my two boys (11 and 8). It is so hard to believe that my oldest started grade 6 this year and called himself a tween when her turned 11. Does not help either that he is my height now. Soon enough he will be surpassing me ( which my DH says will not be hard to do...I am only 5ft 2"). Time goes by very fast...too fast!

 

[xipetotec]

My mother would always warn me to be careful of strangers. If I weren't, there could be circus people who would snatch me and keep me locked up in a small box - so that I'd become a midget for their freak show I guess...lol.

But I kinda want to do that to my kids cuz they're growing up way too fast. First year of public school for them this year. They rode bikes without training wheels for the first time yesterday. Starting hockey league this morning.

Everything is going way too fast. It seemed like only yesterday I could carry the oldest one cradled in one arm.

But happy to see them enjoy life so much.

My oldest is in his last year of High School, my youngest is "graduating" from Elementary this year... And yet, I still feel totally unprepared to be responsible for raising kids and shaping the life of a child ...

That being said, I'm so proud of them

 

[alohamom]

I am so totally there with you! Mine are 9 and 12 and it seems I just blinked my eyes and the time flew by. I am thinking part of the Disney magic may be the togetherness we all feel with our children while there and the way it allows them to be totally free in whatever stage of childhood they are in. No peer pressure to be something they are not, just pure joy. Going to Disney is a way to kep them "small" in my mind, even if it just sharing the memories!

 

[alamode]

My kids are DS 9 and twin DD 6. the girls started Grade 1 this year, and my son is in Grade 4.

We went to WDW for the first time last year, and enjoyed it so much I bought a DVC resale contract. Our first DVC trip will be next May.

It's amazing how quickly they grow up. Sometimes I forget when I'm taking to them that they are children, as they are so smart.

 

[brighteyes]

I am so totally there with you! Mine are 9 and 12 and it seems I just blinked my eyes and the time flew by. I am thinking part of the Disney magic may be the togetherness we all feel with our children while there and the way it allows them to be totally free in whatever stage of childhood they are in. No peer pressure to be something they are not, just pure joy. Going to Disney is a way to kep them "small" in my mind, even if it just sharing the memories!

I totally agree. My DS is 13 -- will be 14 in a few months. He just started grade 9 this year and at the end of last school year, literally overnight he went from a 13 year old kid who stuck around home a lot to a teenager with millions of friends, a gf, and going out every day with them. I am glad he is happy and has friends, but I don't know if I am ready for this.

He just asked me if he can go to a sleepover at his friend's on the weekend and informed me that they will not be sleeping. Then he went on to tell me that there will be no parents there all night. I would have found out anyways cause I planned on talking to the parents. I am glad he is so honest with me. Makes it easy to say NO.

I love going to Disney for the same reason. My DS can just be him, having fun.

 

[monkeyknuckler]

Maybe you could get another Owner's Locker.

 

[nat1234]

I know exactly how you feel. My oldest moved to Kingston this summer and is getting married next year and my youngest is turning 13. A friend of my oldest daughter just had her first baby today and I remember her when she was 6. When did time start to pass so quickly? Remember when Christmas seemed like it would take forever to come and your birthday was such a long way a way.

 

[Ham Ham]

 

[BitsnBearsMom]

They do grow up way too fast - send my 6 ft 1 1/2" 15yo into that box with your children please. All I can say is enjoy those little people when they are little b/c they turn into teenagers before you know it!

As of Jan 10th 2010 I will officially be the mom of 2 kids in 'double digits' - my 'baby' will turn 10 in Jan Life passes you by in the blink of an eye so make sure to take the time to enjoy it!!

 

[Janice B]

Can you put mine in the box with yours. My DS will be 18 next year and he keeps telling me. just think mom, this time next years I could be moving out. He is an only child so it really makes me feel old. He he does leave it will be jsut DH and me.

 

[dancin Disney style]

Could someone please put my oldest in a box and take that box away........

It's one of those days when I wonder who that kid is. Do all teenagers have to be so foolish?

 

[brighteyes]

I am sooo stressed by my 13 DS, and I use that term DS lightly!! I have just had the stupidest arguement with him, but I am so upset.

I don't know if it is a single parent thing, or just my bad parenting, but does anyone else feel like just someone to pay the rent, buy the groceries. I honestly feel like a slave to my ds.

I feel like he is just some boarder that I pay for. Whenever I need him to do something, he has homework and magically he doesn't have it anymore after.

I just feel like I did something wrong, that why is everything such a problem? I ask what are you doing, I get, "Nothing.." or "That's my business." or "I don't know, or I forget" to any other question. And this is to simple questions, like who did you walk home with?

Sometimes I think, what the heck was I thinking when I could do this alone??? I think I was wrong, and I am not raising my son right.

Sorry for the vent, I am just stressed...angry...and upset. But I really feel like I am a horrible parent, cause it's nobody else's fault that he is so rude.

It's times like these that make me wish I still smoke, cause I can feel my blood pressure rising.

 

[BitsnBearsMom]

Do all teenagers have to be so foolish?

It's my theory that when kids become teenagers their brains drop down to their nether regions and they forget how to use them for a while.

brighteyes - just a suggestion but do you give your son an allowance?? I don't believe in tying chores to allowance BUT if you have set chores for him each week (such as cutting the grass, cleaning his room, doing his laundry, cleaning up after dinner since you probably make it, cleaning the bathroom) and he chooses not to do those things then in the real world he would have to pay someone to do them for him. What we do here is I give my ds' $15/week just because I'm a nice person (and I make sure to tell him that!! ) HOWEVER if during the course of the week he hasn't done his assigned jobs he has to pay me to do them and it comes off his allowance - he's had weeks where out of his $15 he's only recieved $2 or less!! I keep a running tab on the fridge and make sure he knows it's there - he really likes having his spending money so most of the time his jobs get done - it only took a few weeks of this for it to sink in.
My response to my kids is I don't care if you have homework - you live in this house and make it messy too so you can help clean it!!

 

[Debbie]

Could someone please put my oldest in a box and take that box away........

It's one of those days when I wonder who that kid is. Do all teenagers have to be so foolish?

My mother-in-law (bless her dear, departed soul ) used to say that she'd like to freeze 'em at 12 and thaw 'em out at 22. She lived through 16 teenagers through the years.

My own theory is that God makes 'em like that so that by the time they are 18/19 and heading off to university or work in some place miles away, we are ready to HELP them leave, rather than try to tie them to our home.

It's still something to look at the backyard, see the "tree"house, the pool, the trees that they planted and not hear the shouts of joy, pain, frustration (oh, and murder-"I'm gonna kill you!") from my 5. With only 1 at home, it is very quiet....and I get a sense of what those with onlies feel.

I am sooo stressed by my 13 DS, and I use that term DS lightly!! I have just had the stupidest arguement with him, but I am so upset.

I don't know if it is a single parent thing, or just my bad parenting, but does anyone else feel like just someone to pay the rent, buy the groceries. I honestly feel like a slave to my ds.

I feel like he is just some boarder that I pay for. Whenever I need him to do something, he has homework and magically he doesn't have it anymore after.

I just feel like I did something wrong, that why is everything such a problem? I ask what are you doing, I get, "Nothing.." or "That's my business." or "I don't know, or I forget" to any other question. And this is to simple questions, like who did you walk home with?

Sometimes I think, what the heck was I thinking when I could do this alone??? I think I was wrong, and I am not raising my son right.

Sorry for the vent, I am just stressed...angry...and upset. But I really feel like I am a horrible parent, cause it's nobody else's fault that he is so rude.

It's times like these that make me wish I still smoke, cause I can feel my blood pressure rising.

Steph, you worked too hard to haul the cigs out! Keep your chin up. I hear that exercise helps you get out stress. I remember demanding one of mine walk with me, I was so angry. He didn't have to walk beside me, but he came with me because 1) it was dark and 2) it was his fault that I was so angry. Lost a lot of weight that year.

And I agree with BnBs mom You are part of the household, you will help. Homework will wait, or you will get it done before I get home. Really, what are you asking-30 minutes a day?

 

[brighteyes]

It's my theory that when kids become teenagers their brains drop down to their nether regions and they forget how to use them for a while.

brighteyes - just a suggestion but do you give your son an allowance?? I don't believe in tying chores to allowance BUT if you have set chores for him each week (such as cutting the grass, cleaning his room, doing his laundry, cleaning up after dinner since you probably make it, cleaning the bathroom) and he chooses not to do those things then in the real world he would have to pay someone to do them for him. What we do here is I give my ds' $15/week just because I'm a nice person (and I make sure to tell him that!! ) HOWEVER if during the course of the week he hasn't done his assigned jobs he has to pay me to do them and it comes off his allowance - he's had weeks where out of his $15 he's only recieved $2 or less!! I keep a running tab on the fridge and make sure he knows it's there - he really likes having his spending money so most of the time his jobs get done - it only took a few weeks of this for it to sink in.
My response to my kids is I don't care if you have homework - you live in this house and make it messy too so you can help clean it!!

Yes, we just tried the allowance thing again. The deal was that I gothim a cell phone, mainly to keep in contact when he was out. For him, cause it's fun. Out of his 15.00 week he would pay 10.00 month toward his phone and I would pay 15.00.


The problem is, he is slacking in his chores. Garbage, I am always having to tell him It's garbage night, take out the garbage, blah blah blah,

Then the washroom, is getting done later and later i n the week, and then I have to tell him to do it over cause he only did half of it.

So I have told him that until I start contributing towards his phone again (because he used up all his money on the phone - I paid extra to last him till Nov) if he doesn't do his chores by sat. noon then he gets it deducted from his allowance.

I too, will be doing a chore chart. I like the explanation that he would have to pay someone else to do them in the real world.

To that, I am sure he would say "You don't do them or pay someone to do chores when you are not feeling well." (I have a chronic illness and my housework does not always get done -- i have homework too) I would respond "Sure I do, I pay you!" LOL

 

[dancin Disney style]

My own theory is that God makes 'em like that so that by the time they are 18/19 and heading off to university or work in some place miles away, we are ready to HELP them leave, rather than try to tie them to our home.

I'll 'help' mine leave right now.....she seems to think that it's OK to not tell us about things and then lie to our faces when she's confronted. I just love the opening line to her sentences....'well, I might as well tell you'. She's 19 and in college her 10 year old sister is a million miles more responsible.

 

[LSmith]

I'll 'help' mine leave right now.....she seems to think that it's OK to not tell us about things and then lie to our faces when she's confronted. I just love the opening line to her sentences....'well, I might as well tell you'. She's 19 and in college her 10 year old sister is a million miles more responsible.

My oldest is 20. "Help" him leave?? I told my friend last week that I'll pay first, last and every month in between if he leaves!

My youngest two are the sweetest darlings in the world. Well, they are only 9 and 11 but still. My oldest was a darling at that age too. I hope I figure out what we did wrong with the first one soon! Three rents plus a mortgage will get awfully expensive.

 

[brighteyes]

OK. You are all making me feel that I am not alone. LOL. I just don't understand what the big deal is about answering the simplest of questions honestly. Instead, I get, "Ummm...I forget." or "I don't know" or my FAVOURITE - "That's my business." And this in answer to "who did you walk home with today, or what are you listening to on YouTube cause it sounds really silly, like sheesh who peed in your cornflakes today??

To dancin: Yes, I agree with you, chores are not EVEN 30 mins day. The arguement yesterday was actually because my dear child really refuses to eat. So much so that I am waiting to get him to a specialist. He will only eat about 3 items. and they change constantly. I am a student and cannot afford to waste money on food that will not get eaten. I am also not here alot so he needs to make his own dinners sometimes. If I leave him to his own he eats uncooked roemen noodles and crackers.

So my deal was, "You are going grocery shopping with me, tell me some foods that you will eat, and then I will watch you eat your meals." But he couldn't go cause he had homework, so I go, get my stuff I need, and come home and he tells me he all of a sudden found out he doesn't have to do his homework. So I tell him "off the computer anyways, cause you lied to me and I don't have time to go tomorrow again." He says he forgot to tell me, then says he didn't lie and found out while I was gone. Then it was a big arguement cause I told him to be off the computer. I am a bad mom, then that went to why is my son still here?? I was like what are u talking about?

I won't smoke but wholly after that arguement, it took me a few hours to get into the mindset to do my paper, so I was up quite late. And now I havve to start it over cause it sucks. LOL

Thanks, it's nice to know I am not the only one that feels like I have an alien living with me.