OT: Adoption Home Study Reference

[cmaee]

A good friend of mine is starting the process to adopt. She asked me if I would be a reference for her. I said that I would love to do it. Can anyone tell me what I will be doing as a reference? I assumed that they would contact me or do I write a letter like I would when giving a job reference?

 

[ilandrazdsw]

You have a PM

 

[ariel53098]

It really depends on the agency. With our DS, they sent like a questionaire to our reference list and they filled it out and sent it back to the agency. WIth our girls, people had to write letters. Wait and see what the agency wants. If they want letters, pm me and I can give you some samples.
Rachel

 

[crisi]

We've done it twice for two different agencies and had it done for us with a third agency.

For us, its been a letter, in one case notarized. We've needed to address certain things in the letter - how long we've known the couple. What our perceptions of their marriage and extended families were. If we'd seen them interact with kids and what those interactions were like. That sort of thing.

In all cases there were fairly specific guidelines....so I'd wait for your friend to say what she needs.

 

[TheRatPack]

We've done it twice for two different agencies and had it done for us with a third agency.

For us, its been a letter, in one case notarized. We've needed to address certain things in the letter - how long we've known the couple. What our perceptions of their marriage and extended families were. If we'd seen them interact with kids and what those interactions were like. That sort of thing.

In all cases there were fairly specific guidelines....so I'd wait for your friend to say what she needs.

In our case we were given specific things that the letters needed to address. I wrote to everyone we wanted to use as a reference and had 2 alternates as well...just in case someone didn't get their letter out in time to our homestudy agency. I included an envelope that was addressed to the agency, stamps and a letter detailing what the homestudy agency was hoping to learn from the letters. I was also very appreciative in my letter to the references, as I know it's a lot to ask....especially the one to my BIL and SIL that had to say they would take our children if something ever happened to us, something the agency wanted in writing ....we have 5 children so it was a LOT to ask

 

[cmaee]

I included an envelope that was addressed to the agency, stamps and a letter detailing what the homestudy agency was hoping to learn from the letters.

What did the homestudy agency hope to learn from the letters?

 

[jkCT]

What did the homestudy agency hope to learn from the letters?

As an employee of a foster care / adoption agency whose job it is to do the home study...

I hope that your reference has seen you interact with kids and can tell me you are comfortable around kids, relate well to them, etc. with hopefully a few examples. I hope that they can tell me more about your personality than "she's nice"...are you intelligent, motivated, empathetic, organized, family-oriented, etc. I also get an idea from a person's references about who is around them who will support them...it's nice if a person writes on a reference that they are supportive of the adoptive/foster parent, will offer to babysit, will be a mentor, etc.

Hope that helps!

 

[della]

For us it was a questionaire which included some questions like "Would you leave your own child in this couples care?" Why/Why not?, "How does this couple/family resolve conflicts?", "Why do you think this couple who be a good candidate for adoption?"

I have been the adoptive mother and the reference writer. Speak from your heart and you can't go wrong.

Good luck to your friend.

 

[crisi]

They always strike me as a silly sort of thing to do. Who is going to write a reference letter about adoption that says "their marriage is on the rocks, he hates kids and she is convinced a child will only be a minor inconvience, they spend their freetime going to bars. I wouldn't leave my own child there due to the very aggressive dog they keep."

But they are part of the process......