opposite sex children and sleeping arrangements.

[sp0ngem0nkey]

I don't think a brother and sister sharing a bed for vacation is a big deal.

I don't either. If they can't stand to have an arm in the face, etc... put pillows in a row in between them. I really is not a big deal. I do think if there is an issue with them then they can decide on their sleeping arrangements if one wants the floor or sofa. I was raised with brothers and cousins we all slept where ever and it did not matter with gender but it is really at your comfort level.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Our dd is four years older than ds. Our first two family trips, they shared the bed. DS is a wild sleeper and this situation was barely tolerated by DD. DH doesn't want to sleep with either since DS kicks, flops and moves around so much. We solved the problem by bringing an air mattress for DS. He loves having his own bed.

We've never asked but since we've started doing this, mousekeeping always brings extra sheets and blankets and makes up his bed. I'm guessing that this is a fairly common situation for them.

 

[Cin]

Oh please, this is a no brainer. They are brother and sister for heaven's sake. When we went on vacation I got 1 bed, they got the other one. Or I would bunk with son and daughter got her own bed. (I tried to bunk with DD but she takes up the whole bed and ended up sleeping half on top of me and the boy just stays on his side and doesn't move, while she tosses and turns and kicks all night.)

 

[mjkacmom]

Dd15 would rather sleep on a bed of nails than with her brother! She's felt this way for many years. However, they did share when they were little.

 

[MickeyHereWeCome!]

We have 3 boys (14, 8, and 6) and one dd (11). For the past few years, we've arranged it so I would share a bed with dd and the boys/dh would all share beds. It's not that I saw anything strange about it, but dd has hit the stage where she hates having brothers and would rather die than share anything with them! This just worked for our sanity to split us up this way. I'm glad our family worked out as it has so we have even numbers of males/females to allow us to split.

Growing up, I clearly remember sharing a bed with my brother in hotels. We were four years apart. We never thought anything of it...it was just the way it was.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

When they are old enough you think it's an issue, it's time to get a suite.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

It needs to stop once one of the siblings starts puberty IMO. Once we start puberty, our bodies do embarrassing things that we can not always stop, especially with young boys.

If you have opposite gender children and you want to still sleep with your husband while on vacation I think it would be best to rent a room with more than two beds.

 

[minnierocks]

I promise you that if you ever have this choice to make that your children will come to the age when they will not want to sleep together and it will be around the age of 10. It's not because of something inappropriate or because they don't like each other anymore...it is because they will just get to the point that it will be uncomfortable for them. When my son asked, "Can I just sleep on the floor?"...I knew that it was time to start bringing an air mattress for him to sleep on. Everyone goes through a stage when their body is changing and you want some privacy, even for sleeping. And since I always wanted my kids to be comfortable expressing the need for privacy and to have control over their own bodies, I didn't make a big deal of it. I simply did what needed to be done for them to be comfortable.

 

[roxysmum123]

Mine are 12 and 13 and one will sleep on the floor rather than touch the other.

I don't care if they share a bed, they do.

This is prob the common theme, I remember when my sister and I were around that age it would be the same story, and we're both girls. Actually it'd prob be the same now, she kicks in her sleep I don't know how her boyfriend survives!

 

[herdtoDisney]

I think when they are little, it is totally fine. I have found that, with 3 boys and 2 girls, as they get older, they will act like they rather sleep with a bag of nails, than sleep with their opposite sex sibling That is a good time to make other sleeping arrangements. In my family, this occurs around early elementary age.

So, if the kids are older than, say, 7 or so-I'd bring an air mattress, or do same sex parents and kids in beds.

 

[SmallWorld71]

I'm with you on this one. My kids could care less. We are so darn tired by the time we get to our beds, that nobody really ever thought about it. My brother was 3 years younger than me (we also had two little sisters) and we always wound up sharing - really not a big deal.

That said, we have had to change around our sleeping arrangements in recent years, but not due to gender. DS16 has just gotten so tall! He is now at 6'2" and growing! I was afraid he was going to knock one of his younger siblings out of bed, so he either gets his own bed or an air mattress depending on the situation.

That left DS12 with DD8. They were OK together, but the trouble is DS12 moves constantly while he sleeps. He shared a bed with his great-grandfather years ago on a Disney trip and the poor guy woke with a foot in his mouth! LOL Since DD is a much lighter sleeper than her brother, she kept getting woken up. So, I said I would try sharing with him and DD went with DH, but I didn't fair any better. DD and I banded together and now we make poor DH share with him. DH can sleep just about anywhere, sitting up etc... so it worked out all right. I would still prefer sharing with DH than DD (she moves right up against you when she sleeps), but we all need sleep on our vacation!

 

[fireflymedic]

I would prob. bring a sleeping bag and sleep on the floor if I was a boy and asked to share a bed with a sister, to much ugg factor for me.

to make it fair you could make the girl sleep on floor 1/2 the time

 

[Que_Sarah_Sarah]

I think it depends on A) The size of the bed and B) how your kids sleep. My brother and I shared a bed in a hotel room because often those beds are incredibly large (so really there is no "spooning" lol). Also, I sleep like a rock, so there is no threat of me rolling over or bumping him or whatever. I don't see a problem with it, but it's totally a personal choice.

 

[tanyaandallie]

In general I would shy away from opposite sex siblings sharing a bed but we're talking about a hotel room with adults a couple feet away. I'm less concerned about inappropriate behavior coming up under those circumstances than sibling sharing a bed in a room with a door on a daily basis.

I think I'd go with what the kids were comfortable with.

Really? Inappropriate behavior? We are talking about SIBLINGS here not a 16 year old boy and his girlfriend! Unless you have seriously disturbed and sexually deviant kids, there is NO inappropriate behavior to worry about!

I have a boy and girl, 22 mos apart. They are only 6 and 8 and when they try and sleep together struggle to fall asleep because they goof around, giggle, tell stories, etc. So, we often separate them and each of us sleeps with one. Sometimes dh sleeps with dd, sometimes I do. We certainly don't NOT do it because we are worried about inappropriate behavior and I suspect we will not worry about it when they are teens.

I think it's very normal for kids not to want to sleep with their siblings, though. I never wanted to sleep with my sisters but most of the time I did not have a choice.

 

[kate_wdw]

Really? Inappropriate behavior? We are talking about SIBLINGS here not a 16 year old boy and his girlfriend! Unless you have seriously disturbed and sexually deviant kids, there is NO inappropriate behavior to worry about!

I think this is extremely misleading. While sibling incest is disturbing that does not mean that all of the kids and adolescents who perpetrate it are "seriously disturbed and sexually deviant." This kind of thinking contributes to the epidemic of sexual abuse in our culture, because the people (by and large) who are committing sexual abuse don't look like monsters or perverts, they look like members of the family.

It's cultural norms that discourage people from having sexual contact with close relatives, and kids aren't exactly sensitive to cultural norms. Not only that, but kids are sexually curious and adolescents are a hormonal mess, and that sometimes leads to sexual experimentation or sexual abuse. Sharing a bed creates an environment conducive to that sort of activity (because it creates regular access, privacy, etc).

There are plenty of parents who said to themselves "that would never happen under my roof" who were wrong.

 

[tanyaandallie]

They are in the same room as the parents! I am not at all unaware of sexual abuse, etc., but I think total paranoia is unnecessary. These are siblings sharing a bed in the same room as their parents.

 

[kate_wdw]

They are in the same room as the parents! I am not at all unaware of sexual abuse, etc., but I think total paranoia is unnecessary. These are siblings sharing a bed in the same room as their parents.

Your second to last post (the one I quoted previously) was in response to a post that referenced the possibility of "inappropriate behavior" sharing a bed on vacation or at home, and you seemed to express incredulousness that sexual behavior could occur between siblings who are not "seriously disturbed." That is what I was responding to (more than the thread as a whole or the topic of sharing a bed on vacation).

While I agree that paranoia is unnecessary, denial about the possibility of sexual activity between siblings is potentially dangerous.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have a boy and girl, 22 mos apart. They are only 6 and 8 and when they try and sleep together struggle to fall asleep because they goof around, giggle, tell stories, etc. So, we often separate them and each of us sleeps with one. Sometimes dh sleeps with dd, sometimes I do. We certainly don't NOT do it because we are worried about inappropriate behavior and I suspect we will not worry about it when they are teens.
.

Your kids are young. I have found that once they get to double digits, they are no longer comfortable sleeping together. My oldest are 20 months apart, and always shared a bed on vacation when they were little. Now, they'd rather sleep standing in a corner than share a bed.

 

[amym2]

This is why we bought DVC! Our kids are DS10 and DD7 and they have never been able to sleep in the same bed- they are both very wiggly sleepers. The first time we tried me sleeping with DD and my DH sleeping with DS, we decided we would never have them share a bed- who can sleep when you are being kicked all the time?!

We stayed at WL in Sept. and it was great- bunkbeds for the kids were perfect. But the older the kids get, the more we don't want to share a room with them. With DVC, we can get a one bedroom with 2 pull-outs in the living room, or we can get a two bedroom plus the pull-out couch if we feel the kids need their own rooms.

I also grew up with only a sister, so it wasn't an issue, but my DH grew up with a sister and he said the few times they traveled, he slept with his dad and his sister slept with mom. I'm sure that works great for people who have kids who aren't antsy when they sleep, but I know even in that situation, my DH would not go for those sleeping arrangements for a week!

 

[RMulieri]

I think this is extremely misleading. While sibling incest is disturbing that does not mean that all of the kids and adolescents who perpetrate it are "seriously disturbed and sexually deviant." This kind of thinking contributes to the epidemic of sexual abuse in our culture, because the people (by and large) who are committing sexual abuse don't look like monsters or perverts, they look like members of the family.

It's cultural norms that discourage people from having sexual contact with close relatives, and kids aren't exactly sensitive to cultural norms. Not only that, but kids are sexually curious and adolescents are a hormonal mess, and that sometimes leads to sexual experimentation or sexual abuse. Sharing a bed creates an environment conducive to that sort of activity (because it creates regular access, privacy, etc).

There are plenty of parents who said to themselves "that would never happen under my roof" who were wrong.

While I am sure it happens,and I am not denying that possibility.BUT there is absolutely NO reason to be ridiculously paranoid about this..Like I said I had 2 brothers and we shared a bedroom till I was 15 and very often shared sleeping arrangements on vacation..It wasn't really an option not to,our parents never slept apart (and still don't) and they were in the NEXT BED,and and the thoughts never crossed our minds.The only thing we routinely did was fight about each others snoring.