Back in the day, or pre-twinkies, when I was a genetic mutator professionally speaking, my company would have off-site annual meetings in the very early spring. Being as at the time it was a Swiss owned company (Gotta love the Swiss) we were plyed with food and drink constantly as we discussed science and business. Anyway we as a group always had a great time and best of all the meetings were held at a beach front resort. So we would gorgeous views and even a little free time to walk on the beach etc etc. One year my best work friend and I decided that it would be fun to have our husbands come down at the end of the meeting and stay for the weekend.
Carrie and I met at work and just “clicked” right away. We started walking together during our lunch hour so we talked every day and were fairly close. We spent a lot of time talking about our husbands and kids (we began our marriage with a ready made family (DS now 13 then 5), they had a baby 9 months after the wedding). So she knew that my in-laws drove me crazy even though they are the sweetest people in the world and I knew that she was always trying to get her husband to quit smoking. You know it causes cancer… but also he was always having to “go out for a smoke” leaving her alone with their rambunctious toddler in places like the airport, his parents’ house etc etc.
Carrie and Doug (not their real names and they are nothing like the Heffernans) lived in a different town than we did but we still enjoyed getting together for dinner every once in while. So the girls had spent a lot of time together (at work) and the guys only saw each other socially once in a while but we always had good time together. So we decided it would be fun to spend a weekend hanging out, walking on the beach, going to gitchy shops and, most importantly, eat a lot of seafood. So we pawn off our respective children on our respective parents, scope out local restaurants and plan a grown up getaway weekend.
The guys arrive Friday afternoon. Doug, of course, shows up early and is so excited to be there. He tells Carrie she is pretty and smart and basically bounces around like a huge Labrador. My husband arrives late due to a math error in calculating how long it would take to drive to the beach and is kind of grumpy. We tour the lovely resort the company was paying for… get a weekend discount rate but even with that (it was off season too!) decide to go down the street to another resort that is literally falling into the ocean. It isn’t as luxurious but we get a great “Hey there are sandbags outside your room” deal so we book two suites with an ocean view and call it good.
We decide to go to this great restaurant for our first dinner. While we change I give my husband a pep talk on snapping out of his mood. So we dress up and head out and when we get there the restaurant is really crowded. Oh yeah.. it is a Friday night in Lent! But it is an awesome place so we wait a little bit and then I walk up to the podium to see if they are seating outside on the deck… it is a little chilly so I think they might have seats out there if we are willing. Why yes they can do that so they call us to follow the waitress….
And what happens next is entirely explainable. Well, I keep trying to tell myself that. The restaurant was dimly lit. Carrie and I are both 5 ft 4. Carrie and I are both wearing long floweredy dress and cardigan sweaters (like I said, we had a lot in common) Carrie and I both had shoulder length hair… however my hair is brown and Carrie is a blonde.
What I see is Carrie, standing slightly behind me as we line up to follow the waitress, whip her head around with a look of absolute outrage. I already knew what happened.
My husband, confused (perhaps?) by the dim lighting and the minor confusion as we were suddenly called for a table, had grabbed her butt. Not a sweet little gentle “I love you” pat but a full out “just wait till we get home” squeeze.
Anyway when she whips around her head, my husband realizes his big mistake and is absolutely mortified. For one thing you can see the steam coming out of Carrie’s ears. Secondly he is afraid Doug is going to hit him. Thirdly we are just beginning a whole weekend with these people and he wishes the earth could swallow him… or at least that we could go home right now.
All of this happens as we follow the waitress to our table and sit down to an awkward silence. Then it is like a big white elephant in the middle of the table that we all ignore.
Half a meal later I decide this is crazy so I bring it up… my husband starts kicking me under the table and making angry eyes at me.
But Carrie starts to laugh. She said she was SO MAD because she thought it was Doug..
You see, she was trying to get him to give up cigarettes for Lent and he wouldn’t so she told him he had to give up “grabbing her”… she thought he had broken a Lenten promise was relieved that he hadn’t. .
Carrie and I laughed so hard we cried. It took my husband a couple of years to see the humor in the situation.
What I meant was that some folks told me about the thread and said I should come hang out as opposed to me finding it (I just never looked on the community board back then). And I hope it isn't country clubish cause I am so not that type! (No offense to all y'all who go to country clubs) Unless of course at country clubs we sit around in our blue jeans and crack jokes while eating chips & salsa and drinking diet coke from the can.
But this thread was born out of it's ashes, so the Open Mikers still include some Maelstrommers, I assume.
Or the boys have done something again, or you have an answer to a question asked.
. I was standing behind him in a crowd and I swore it was my DH and I grabbed his bum (not in the cute, playful way...in a SERIOUS 
