Only children?

[SaraJayne]

I have already replied but just wanted to add, I longed for was a sister to share a room with and to chat to at bedtime.

Angie

Really? I shared a room with my younger sister and I could not WAIT until the day I could have my own room.

 

[redlight]

I'm an only child. While I've missed having a sib sometimes, I think overall I'm happier.

 

[DawnM]

I am an only, but I vowed not to have only one when I grew up. I have three and they like having each other.

Dawn

 

[PebblesMom]

If by some unforseen twist of fate you decide to have another one...and you have a girl...then you will have the "so when are you going to have a boy?"

My DH and I decided that two would be perfect for us....we had a boy and then I got pregnant again with another boy. We were over the moon and could not be happier and I actually had people say "oh I am sorry your having another boy" and I get "so when are you trying for that girl" quite often Do what makes sense for your family, because you will always have someone who thinks you should do it different.

 

[peanut1967]

Really? I shared a room with my younger sister and I could not WAIT until the day I could have my own room.

I suppose its a case of wanting what you havent got.

Angie

 

[DMass]

I'm an adult only. I never cared about having a sibling as a child. As an adult dealing with aging parents, I would give anything to have a sibling. Prepare yourself and your child by having wills, powers of attorney, living wills, etc. Be financially responsible and save enough money for your retirement because any financial issues in your later years will fall solely on the shoulders of your only child.

My father left my mother financially secure before he passed so that's not a problem for me. I do wish that I had siblings now to help out with my mom.
I do what I can for her like yardwork, fixing things around the house, etc.
It would be nice to get a little help at times especially from family members but they seem to forget how my parents helped them out when they needed it.

That's always the way,isn't it.

 

[pandora174]

We have one child DS7. He went through a phase that he constantly wanted a sibling. I felt horrible ! We had serious fertility issues & DS was a preemie. So the Dr gave us a very high risk of both prematurity & risk to me with a
2nd child & I am 41 !!! DH understands my extreme fear of another high risk pregnancy & all we went through & continue to go through.

So he's going to remain an only child. People ask & ask & I don't feel like going into my fertility/miscarriage/preemie history & just smile & say "one is enough for us"

Now for DS he's starting to realize that by the time the baby comes along he can't play with him/her due to the age difference. So he's a well adjusted happy kid. Would I of wanted a #2 sure, but sometimes we deal with the hand God gave us & we are grateful for the one we managed to have !

 

[daughtersrus]

Growing up, I had a friend that was an only child. Not only was she an only child but both of her parents were also only children. She had no siblings, no cousins, no aunts or uncles...She longed for a sibling. Holidays at her house were much different than at our house.

I lost touch with her so I'm not sure if she every married or had children of her own. Having lost both of my parents in the last few years, I just can't imagine going through that without family support.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Don't give in to the hype dissing only children.

Hi, I'm an only child and my mother was also an only child, so yes, holidays were pretty intimate affairs at our home (especially since all my dad's relatives were out of state). I grew up pretty pampered and adored by my parents and grandparents, I won't say I wasn't spoiled. However, when there's no siblings to share chores or blame or boredom, that tends to level out the spoiling and give you a more sensible perspective of the world.

When I was very young I liked the idea of having siblings, but when my mom decided not to have another, I wasn't that bummed. In all honesty, I would have appreciated a puppy just as much. I had friends that I considered my siblings. I experienced the "joy" of younger and elder siblings through my friends siblings. I realized they weren't all that great to have around. They weren't cute playthings and, ultimately, they drove you nuts.

I think I came out pretty well adjusted, regardless. I went to a good university, a good professional school, married a good man, got a job that pays my bills, and was never a burden on my parents after undergrad. I have a good relationship with my parents and my one remaining grandparent.

I see others have posted about dealing with an aging parent as an only, and I know my mom has had to go through this with her parents. It's hard of course, but it's not like she's alone. She has me! She has my dad. She has her friends. Geez, having siblings doesn't guarantee they'll offer any help with aging parents. My dad has 3 sisters and lived out of state from his ailing mother. He didn't care for her in her later years, but neither did two of his sisters who lived a lot closer. Conversely, he was the one who took care of their dad (who was in state for us), without much sisterly help.

I very much want a girl. If I have a boy first, I'll try again. But if I had a girl the first time, I'd probably stop right there. Only girls have worked well for our family thus far, I see no reason to buck the system now.

 

[jodifla]

I'm and only child, with an only child. Lots of perks and advantages to this, so if you feel it is the best set up for your family, I wouldn't worry about it.

As for all the people lamenting they'll be alone dealing with their parents, I had my HUSBAND and my friends to help. I was certainly not alone. I have friends with siblings who don't lift a finger to help their parents, and that is a double dose of grief: having to help a frail parent, and getting to argue about it with sibs. Then when the parents die, there's the fight for their stuff.

I got to skip all that drama.

 

[princesspiglet]

I have an only child who will be turning 8 in November. We love having an only- it makes life so much easier. Plus, we can afford to do lots of extra activities and vacations with just her. She has a lot of friends in our neighborhood that are from bigger families so she has seen first hand what it is like to have siblings- and she is very happy to be an only!

My mom is the baby of 9. When her parents died, she was the ONLY one to take on the responsibilities of planning the funeral, cleaning the house, etc. Not one single sibling stepped in to help her. She had my dad, myself, my brother and my husband to help her though it- which was more than enough for her. She does not get along with any of her siblings, actually, they all are constantly fighting about one thing or another.

DD has plenty of friends, but she enjoys being by herself also. She partakes in after-school activites, but can't wait to get home to have some alone time. She is independent, very smart, funny, talented, etc. I can't forsee her having any issues when she grows up because of being an only child.

 

[SC Minnie]

We have an only. DD16 is spoiled to a degree (she has been to places and done things we could never have afforded with more children) but she doesn't have the name brand clothes/shoes, brand new car, etc. We have taught her how much things cost and if she wants something she has to earn it.

DD begged for a sibling until she was about 6. The 2 of us went to the beach for a long weekend with a friend of mine and her 2 children (boy 5 and girl 3). The little boy drove DD nuts and the brother and sister arguing put her over the edge. On the way back from that weekend she told me she didn't want a brother or sister anymore.

 

[castleview]

I don't think you can stereotype only children. Like any family, it's how the parents live and prioritize. My daughter's best friend is an only child and his parents are very involved in school, soccer, scouts, etc. - he is their top priority. But my friend's only child is a different story. His parents work long hours - nothing wrong with that, are not as involved in his school and activities, and live their life while their son comes along. If he is "spoiled" or different, it's because he lives in a very adult world and is given lots of privileges and material things to occupy his time. Let me put it this way: At 8:00, only child #1 was in bed while only child #2 was getting ready to go out to a restaurant or an adult party…at age 3.

 

[indimom]

A sister/BIL have an only child.
A few of us have two kids. (Some by choice, some not)
Another sister/BIL have four.
BIL/SIL have six.

They all seem pretty similar to me. I don't notice any major difference between the family with one child or the one with six. Do what works for you.
And the next time someone asks you when your having another child, ask them a question:: "Why do you ask???"
Maybe that will help them realize how nosy they are being.

 

[ladycollector]

I'm an only child. I think I'm pretty well adjusted

ETA: I do notice that among my friends that are not only children, I am much more comfortable with alone time. I also was pretty mature at a young age because I was always around lots of adults.

I haven't decided if I will have only one or more children yet.

 

[castleview]

I haven't decided if I will have only one or more children yet.

That can be indicator of whether people liked it. LOL My cousin was an only child. Her parents put all they had into her and were so generous with family and friends. She was so mature, confident, poised. I figured she would do the only child thing herself. Well, she just had baby #5. LOL

 

[NHdisneylover]

That can be indicator of whether people liked it. LOL My cousin was an only child. Her parents put all they had into her and were so generous with family and friends. She was so mature, confident, poised. I figured she would do the only child thing herself. Well, she just had baby #5. LOL

I don;t think it is much of an indicator. Likewise, I do not think people who grew up with siblings but chose to have only one child themselves hated their siblings (though my two cousins and I--all 3 only children--used to tease our parents about that).