Online Dating

[HeatherC]

Too bad I am not much of a gambler.



I know online dating can work and it seems to be the way it done these days but this all would be so much easier if I was in my 20's not nearly 50.

So many people are meeting others this way now. Maybe look at it as just going out and talking to someone new for an hour or two. Don’t put any pressure on it, because, after all, you don’t have to see them ever again if it doesn’t go great. Good luck if you decide to give it a whirl!

 

[tasha99]

I met my husband on OkCupid. I'd been on OkCupid in 2010 or so, then again in 2016, and it was the exact same group of people as before. Kind of depressing.

But I decided to do travel therapy, so I changed my location to NYC, even though I was in Oregon. My (now) husband and I started communicating and emailed each other for a couple months. I was taking my adult kids to Brooklyn for a short family vacation in August to see a band we all like, so future DH tagged along on our family outings. It started as a coffee date (we'd never even talked on the phone) and it turned into 3 full days of sightseeing together. My daughter said he was her favorite guy I'd ever dated, including her dad. We ended up getting married about a year and a half after our first email. I moved in with him the day his divorce finalized. I guess we moved really fast, but it's been a few years now, and we're still really happy. Honestly, I thought he had the very best dating profile I'd ever read--I wish I'd saved it. Even though OkCupid worked for me, I feel like I just happened to get really lucky. His was the only message I received that wasn't low effort, scammy, or just looking for a quick hookup

 

[Kitty 34]

Christa, I never did online dating of course (wayyyy old and DH is still alive) but good luck with it.

 

[disneychrista]

So many people are meeting others this way now. Maybe look at it as just going out and talking to someone new for an hour or two. Don’t put any pressure on it, because, after all, you don’t have to see them ever again if it doesn’t go great. Good luck if you decide to give it a whirl!

Thanks. I am going to give it an honest shot. It either works or it doesn't. I decided I would accept one date from anyone that asks (public place for a beer or coffee) and if we click great, if not no harm, not foul. Since the chance of finding anyone in my every day life is slim to none, if this doesn't work I will just accept my fate.

Christa, I never did online dating of course (wayyyy old and DH is still alive) but good luck with it.

Thanks Kitty.

 

[RogueX]

I waited a year post divorce from my first husband before jumping into dating again and tried online dating. It was an experiment in humor, exasperation at times, and some interesting dates. I did learn to specify that when asked if I wanted to see a picture, it was to be of their face.

Just when I was ready to throw in the towel, I got a message from a guy, and as with most who messaged me, I agreed to meet in a public location for a date. Fast forward and we have been married almost 15 years, have a 14 year old daughter. I'm so happy I didn't delete that message.

Give it a try, if you don't meet someone at the end of it all, you may still have some funny experiences that come from online dating.

 

[Lizgistix]

I travel a lot for work. When I set up my online dating account, I set my hometown to where my actual home is in Florida. Well, I was traveling through Texas one night and this guy could not figure out how my profile said I live in Florida but I was showing up in his nearby matches in Wichita Falls TX.

 

[penn19]

I’m married but if that ever goes south for whatever reason I don’t think I could do online dating. I think I’d be single forever. I’m too old and while I try and be open minded, it’s so different now then from 40 years ago.

 

[stout]

Match success here. First date Match date I went on was with DH (I was really picky). Met DH online in 11/2002 and talked by phone for a month first (I overly cautious). First date in 12/2002. Married 06/2004. Currently celebrating our anniversary at Disney with our two kiddos.

 

[slo]

I have no personal experience, but my friend met his wife on an online dating app and is very happy.
I say....give it a try, you can always stop if it makes you uncomfortable.

 

[ronandannette]

Thanks. I am going to give it an honest shot. It either works or it doesn't. I decided I would accept one date from anyone that asks (public place for a beer or coffee) and if we click great, if not no harm, not foul. Since the chance of finding anyone in my every day life is slim to none, if this doesn't work I will just accept my fate.
Thanks Kitty.

As someone upthread mentioned, I think a better strategy would be gathering your courage and doing the asking yourself after reviewing profiles and finding men that actually interest you instead of just waiting for randos to swipe right. Maybe you think you don’t actually deserve a guy with the qualities you’d really like or that a guy like that would never be interested in you but that’s just your past experiences talking. Try lifting your sights a little and giving it a shot. The days of ladies sitting along the wall and hoping to be asked to dance are behind us. I wish you well.

 

[AndreaDM]

Met my fiancée on Match over 6 years ago, he was 41 and I was 45 at the time. He was the first person I met in person after joining Match (after my divorce), but went on a couple dates with a few other guys as well. He was the only one I wanted to keep seeing though. I will say, there were a lot of guys who messaged who I think had no intention of ever meeting in person, whether they were married or what, I think they were just looking for chat partners to boost their egos. These are the type that ask you to send a lot of pictures too. You have to have a lot of patience to weed through the BS to find the genuine people on those sites.

eta: I agree with PP to meet for coffee or a drink at first, not a meal, we met at a winery for a drink that turned into 2. Our next date was for appetizers and drinks, and then finally dinner on the 3rd lol. If the weather is nice, meeting at a park or someplace outside is great too.

 

[disneychrista]

As someone upthread mentioned, I think a better strategy would be gathering your courage and doing the asking yourself after reviewing profiles and finding men that actually interest you instead of just waiting for randos to swipe right. Maybe you think you don’t actually deserve a guy with the qualities you’d really like or that a guy like that would never be interested in you but that’s just your past experiences talking. Try lifting your sights a little and giving it a shot. The days of ladies sitting along the wall and hoping to be asked to dance are behind us. I wish you well.

I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t ask a guy that peak my interest out. Just that if one did I would accept. I’ve “liked” a few and messaged a couple. I have also not “liked” someone back that I was not interested in. Also accepting one date does not mean I’ll accept a second if they turn out to not be what I’m looking for. I’m actually going to be very picky. My past experiences and my willingness to accept thing that I shouldn’t have will actually make it harder for guys. I am no longer willing to accept less than what I truly want.

If I am honest so far none of the guys really are the full package.

 

[Mysterian]

I was never interested in using dating sites, myself, but I wouldn't steer anyone else away from them.

I'm not sure as to what degree you're being picky, DisneyChrista, but I think everyone has a right to have some standards. Just remember that now that you've created this thread, you are entitled to tell us how any dates go, good or bad.

 

[disneychrista]

I was never interested in using dating sites, myself, but I wouldn't steer anyone else away from them.

I'm not sure as to what degree you're being picky, DisneyChrista, but I think everyone has a right to have some standards. Just remember that now that you've created this thread, you are entitled to tell us how any dates go, good or bad.

I can’t say that this is something I will do beyond the 30 days I signed up for. It has never been something that interested me. But at this point I figured nothing ventured nothing gained.
I am honestly not that picky but I do have a “list” of things I am not willing to accept. At the top of that list is anyone who starts out saying they don’t want a relationship (aka I’m looking for sex and not much else). Other things I will be “picky” about is making time, following through when they say they will do something (call, meet, etc), and basically making me feel like an afterthought or something to do to kill time.

I posted earlier my only experience so far with it. Other than a couple generic messages with one other person there hasn’t been anything to share.

 

[Beach Bunny]

Silly girl, don't you know the best place to find a date or relationship is right here on the Dis

 

[disneychrista]

Silly girl, don't you know the best place to find a date or relationship is right here on the Dis

I’d be open to meeting someone from the DIS. At least they won’t think I’m crazy when I tell them I’m going to Disneyland for my 50th birthday.

Any single guys between 45 - 55ish in Lake/Mendo/Sonoma want to meet for a beer? Let me know.

 

[Buzz Rules]

I’d be open to meeting someone from the DIS. At least they won’t think I’m crazy when I tell them I’m going to Disneyland for my 50th birthday.

Any single guys between 45 - 55ish in Lake/Mendo/Sonoma want to meet for a beer? Let me know.

I’m praying you find your Prince Charming. Good luck with your search.

 

[Buzz Rules]

I’d be open to meeting someone from the DIS. At least they won’t think I’m crazy when I tell them I’m going to Disneyland for my 50th birthday.

Any single guys between 45 - 55ish in Lake/Mendo/Sonoma want to meet for a beer? Let me know.

I thought this YouTube video would give the thread a laugh:

 

[disneychrista]

So I may have date on Saturday. I've been chatting with a guy the past few nights and a few times earlier. He seems like a down to earth "normal" guy. We seem to have a lot in common. So I suggested that we meet for a beer. I'll let you know how it goes. I am scared, nervous & excited.

 

[Buzz Rules]

So I may have date on Saturday. I've been chatting with a guy the past few nights and a few times earlier. He seems like a down to earth "normal" guy. We seem to have a lot in common. So I suggested that we meet for a beer. I'll let you know how it goes. I am scared, nervous & excited.

Just be you and all will be well. We are all rooting for you.