Online Dating

[Kittyblue]

My (limited) experience is that the guys I meet aren't interested in relationships they are looking for hook-ups. I actually had a guy ask me if I wanted to meet and I said sure. I picked a place to meet and he follows up with "okay, then if we hit off we can go to a hotel" WHAT???

That's one of my friend's biggest complaints is the number of men who ask on the first date if she's still interested in that. That's an automatic end to the date!

 

[disneychrista]

I always have. I have no clue what generation Z does.

Well since I am a "Gen X" neither do I. If any dates are to do actually happen, I will make sure to have cash with me so I can help pay, if needed, especially if the date is going bad. To be honest, if the guy asks me out to dinner, I would expect him to pay. If we were meeting for drinks, I would expect to pay for my own drinks.

That's one of my friend's biggest complaints is the number of men who ask on the first date if she's still interested in that. That's an automatic end to the date!

If she is interested in hooking up on the first date? Ya, that would be end of date for me too. I am kind of glad that that guy did have me meet and then bring up going to a hotel. At least he didn't waste my time.

 

[Buzz Rules]

That's one of my friend's biggest complaints is the number of men who ask on the first date if she's still interested in that. That's an automatic end to the date!

I’ve ended several dates early with women that have asked me on the first date. It’s important to truly know a person before that. At least that’s how I was raised.

 

[Kittyblue]

If she is interested in hooking up on the first date? Ya, that would be end of date for me too. I am kind of glad that that guy did have me meet and then bring up going to a hotel. At least he didn't waste my time.

Crazy isn't it? I guess that way everyone is clear right from the start! LOL

One thing she recommended to me is never go big on the first meeting so you aren't stuck for a whole meal, for example, if you can tell right away it's going south. Also, always meet someplace public. She always meets for coffee at a starbucks or some cafe when she's meeting someone new.

 

[Buzz Rules]

Just a piece of advice. Never be scared to be rejected. A fisherman (or woman) may need to cast a net several times in order to catch his prized fish. But all the time and effort is worth it.

 

[Cheburashka]

I know a few here have ventured into the world of Online Dating. Please share your experiences. The good. The bad. The ugly.

It's how I met my son's father (emotionally abusive- literally tore up the kitchen after I dared complain about not getting a birthday present from him when I was 8 months pregnant with his son), my former fiance (closeted alcoholic), and my current almost-former partner of 9 years (cheated on me repeatedly & gaslighted me about it). It hasn't been a great experience, no.

That being said, I haven't met many men not online- I'm an elementary school teacher (woman-dominated field), and very plain-looking, so men haven't fallen into my lap throughout my life. I once had a longtime boyfriend who was the friend of someone I knew, and I also once fell in love with a man from church who I briefly dated, but neither of them treated me well, either. I was abused and abandoned by my father as a child, so it was always hard for me to value myself, and to evaluate men's character. But as I said, it's not like there were a bunch of other great guys pursuing me who I scorned in favor of these jerks. I was fishing in a shallow pond.

Bottom line is that if you need to go online to meet people, do it. Just be very careful, because you cannot judge someone's character by the face they show you when they most want you early in the relationship, when they're getting to know you. (All of the men I've described were very nice to me in the early stage of dating.) If there are any red flags as the relationship progresses, don't be forgiving or open-minded. Back out and spare yourself what I've been through.

 

[disneychrista]

Just a piece of advice. Never be scared to be rejected. A fisherman (or woman) may need to cast a net several times in order to catch his prized fish. But all the time and effort is worth it.

The dating Gods have 30 days to prove to me that this is worth it. I'm gonna give it a chance and see what happens. I have done a "test run" on another site that I think was good practice in the meeting and getting to know you phase of online dating. I am okay with being "rejected" in the early stages. It is after things start getting serious that I am afraid of.

Bottom line is that if you need to go online to meet people, do it. Just be very careful, because you cannot judge someone's character by the face they show you when they most want you early in the relationship, when they're getting to know you. (All of the men I've described were very nice to me in the early stage of dating.) If there are any red flags as the relationship progresses, don't be forgiving or open-minded. Back out and spare yourself what I've been through.

I am really sorry you have had such crappy relationships.

My dating experiences or what like to call "not a relationships" have left me with a long list of things I am no longer willing to put up with. I gave way too many chances and ignored or put up with things that I shouldn't have. So the next guy isn't going to be so lucky. I don't really have a long list of qualities I want in a partner but I do have a longish list of things I DON"T want in a partner/relationship. I kind of feel sorry for any guy I might date because it won't be easy for them. But I guess if it is the right guy, then there won't be those red flags to begin with.

 

[Buzz Rules]

The dating Gods have 30 days to prove to me that this is worth it. I'm gonna give it a chance and see what happens. I have done a "test run" on another site that I think was good practice in the meeting and getting to know you phase of online dating. I am okay with being "rejected" in the early stages. It is after things start getting serious that I am afraid of.




I am really sorry you have had such crappy relationships.

My dating experiences or what like to call "not a relationships" have left me with a long list of things I am no longer willing to put up with. I gave way too many chances and ignored or put up with things that I shouldn't have. So the next guy isn't going to be so lucky. I don't really have a long list of qualities I want in a partner but I do have a longish list of things I DON"T want in a partner/relationship. I kind of feel sorry for any guy I might date because it won't be easy for them. But I guess if it is the right guy, then there won't be those red flags to begin with.

Never settle for anything less than what you want.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

DH and I are an eHarmony success! We've been together for almost 13 years and our 10th wedding anniversary is this October, with one little soon-to-be-6-year-old son!

My SIL met her life partner on Match. They've been together for 10 years this year as well. Of course, she went through her share of stinkers before him.

Now, I will say that I got matched to a LOT of guys on eHarmony (DH was one of the early ones, but we took it very slow). When I was on it, the process started as sending 3 or 4 questions that had multiple choice answers, then the next questions you could write your own answers. Almost every single one wanted to know what my personal style was like, how I liked to dress, etc. I answered honestly, and 99% of them immediately closed the match (No loss, if they couldn't accept me as ME, then they weren't worth it.) I did go on one date (also before DH) who claimed to be a high school history teacher, but he didn't seem to know squat about the subject. We met at a Barnes and Noble, walked around for an hour or two, but by 10 p.m. I was pretty sure that he wasn't right for me. I kept trying to get closer to the door, but he'd literally block me. When I finally did get out the door, he wanted to go have dinner. It was almost 11 p.m., so I made my excuses that it was rather late and I had to work the next morning (not a lie). I didn't hear from him for almost a month, then went away for a few days over Labor Day, and when I returned there was a message from him, from the day I'd left, asking me to meet him for a movie. I apologized and told him that I'd been away, and I never heard from him again.

There was one other guy who was REALLY nice, but he was 15 years older. Which was fine with me, honestly, but we didn't get matched until after I'd just met DH. So we emailed back and forth, but he didn't want to meet up at all...turned out he'd matched with someone else and they'd become serious around the same time that DH and I started dating regularly, but he thought we could be friends. We did email a few more times, but eventually he stopped responding.

Before eHarmony, I had a profile on Yahoo Dating. That was...ugh, I have no words. I will never forget the guy who messaged me, only saying "Hello," so I returned "Hi." His next message was "Hey sexy, call me so we can get together" with his phone number. That's a big NOPE. And another guy who kept messaging me, "When can I meet you and give you a kiss?" Uh-huh...I closed that account after only a month or so

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

I actually met my husband on Tinder.

Wasn’t planning on it by any means. A friend set up my account because I “didn’t talk about boys enough.” I figured I would humor her for a bit but didn’t actually think I would meet anyone. I then started talking to my now husband and just had a feeling I needed to see where it went.

Amazingly enough he was one of the few men on there not just looking to hook up. We have now been together 6 1/2 years, married almost 4, and our son just turned 2.

 

[KellyKane]

What about Bumble? It only allows women, (for a heterosexual match) to make the first contact. That way you are in control, and you dont have random weirdos continually messaging inappropriate things right off the bat. My sister met her soon to be husband on it..theyve been together 2 years this month.

 

[White Cat]

What about Bumble? It only allows women, (for a heterosexual match) to make the first contact. That way you are in control, and you dont have random weirdos continually messaging inappropriate things right off the bat. My sister met her soon to be husband on it..theyve been together 2 years this month.

So it’s ok for the guys to have random weirdos continually messaging inappropriate things right off the bat?

 

[TippyThomas]

That only happens to people who take pics with their Rolex prominently displayed accidentally on purpose.

 

[Buzz Rules]

So it’s ok for the guys to have random weirdos continually messaging inappropriate things right off the bat?

That only happens to people who take pics with their Rolex prominently displayed accidentally on purpose.

All good reasons to stay off Twitter and Facebook. Seriously, social media should never have been invented other than YouTube and

 

[LuvOrlando]

Good luck!

 

[Simba's Mom]

DS met his girlfriend of almost 5 years (yeah, I don't understand why he hasn't proposed yet either) on OKCupid. Several of his friends recommended it, worked for him.

 

[disneychrista]

Good luck!

Thanks.

 

[Pyotr]

I met my wife in Match.com. This August will be spending our 5th wedding anniversary at Disney.

For safety, I highly recommend not using a free site. Make the first date in a public place. I work in corrections and I know many people who have used the free dating sites to do bad things to people.

 

[JimMIA]

I avoid online dating sites.

Every time I mention the subject, all I get from DW is a nasty side-eye and "Just remember that you have to sleep sometime!"

 

[Lizgistix]

I've deactivated all my online dating accounts. I was on several with zero luck. The guys who messaged me were either only looking for a hook up or were incredibly boring to talk to.
Him: Hi
Me: Hi there
Him: hru (really? that's like zero effort right there)
Me: I'm fine thanks, yourself?
Him: I'm good.

...and so now I'm expected to pick up the conversation and carry it?