One happyhaunt, Two happyhaunt, Red happyhaunt, Blue happyhaunt!(newer, pg 31.)

[celerystalker]

I didn't wanna dance to your tripe report anyway. I much prefer Mr. Silli's.

 

[ncseric]

OK, 1000th HH, I'm planning the rest of my year. By my calculations, you should have the first day wrapped up by October, as you've taken since 10/10/06 to get to this point. It must be pretty slow up there in Canada if you can remember everything you did almost 7 months ago. Or perhaps we all read slowly, so you're writing slowly.

As I believe the Timekeeper aka Robin Williams so poignantly put in,

GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!!!

TFI.

 

[Frickles]

Mel! I'm so late for your trip report Hootenanny. I'm sorry. I've been giving JoMomma pedicures again.

Anyhow, somewhere in this joint I saw this.

Now its time for me to win the title of "The Cleanest Mama". From NM. (NONM). Also "The Leanest Mama". From Frickles. (NOF).

Wow you are now my BFF!!! I'll give you my little diet tip. Every night for dinner, I cook a ham. And I stay away from crackers. You're welcome!

You know I love you and your stories girl and I'm soooo glad you are back. In black. Number one with a power pack.

I have no clue who Flowerschild is.

Why do you keep talking about spoons?

Who is Zzub?

 

[Mr. Silly]

I'd prefer you doing the dances. In Hawaiian-wear. tFi.

Yes. The Dairy guys are crazy. But... the lactose guys are WORSE!!!

Hi Lacto!!!

I take your bongo, ukulele and kazoo... and raise you one French Horn and a marching band.

Keep rollin' my Centurion Silli!!!

Cheers, Melly.

I only do interpretive dances in my black unitard, but for some reason H. refuses to allow me to photgraph them, so I think video is unlikely.

I think this might be the reason.

I take your French Horn and brass section, and raise you a piano with paperclips hung on some strings, and a Sea Organ. Also I fling in a Banjo Orchestra and run.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Senor Silli: The black unitard will be OK. I can live with that. But... I'll request you add a belly dancer's hip belt.

AND... here's where we start to get silli(er)... I take your swirly thingie piano, the sea organ and the banjo orchestra. And I raise you a Samchillian Tip Tip Tip Cheeepeeeee, the very tiny Nanoguitar from Cornell and one large Vienna Vegetable Orchestra!!!!!

BTW ~ I'm ALSO flinging the Orchestra. Just like you. Watch out for the pumpkin basses!!!!

They hurt.

Anywho... I'll be back a little later to respond to all the wonderful(ish) comments so kindly posted here.

But, first, I'm off to do laundry and make up a special "Can-A-dian Care Package" for Montana Disney Fan and Linnie Pooh. Why he left his request on Z's tripe is beyond me, tho?! ZZUB isn't doing Me(l) many favours these days. Or... actually...well...EVER. For that matter.

Heh heh.

Sooooooooooo...

Montana Disney Fan ~ If you're out there! There's nothing you have to worry about smuggling in. From Canada. Here's some stuff that turns my crank: Figgy duff, cod tongue casserole, a buttload of hawberries (they're DE-LIC-IOUS, btw!) and, finally, a couple packs of President's Choice Lassy Mogs.

Dig in! And do a job on it!

(This is only b/c I'm hoping you'll send ME(L) something back from Montana. I also want to grow a Superhero Toe.)

Roll Tide,

Mel.

 

[Mr. Silly]

Senor Silli: The black unitard will be OK. I can live with that. But... I'll request you add a belly dancer's hip belt.

AND... here's where we start to get silli(er)... I take your swirly thingie piano, the sea organ and the banjo orchestra. And I raise you a Samchillian Tip Tip Tip Cheeepeeeee, the very tiny Nanoguitar from Cornell and one large Vienna Vegetable Orchestra!!!!!

BTW ~ I'm ALSO flinging the Orchestra. Just like you. Watch out for the pumpkin basses!!!!

They hurt.

I can't add a belly dancer's hip belt, but as we are going out on a fringe, I could add a fanny pack with many ancient coins attached to it via some kind of fringe. Perhaps. Do they make a fanny pack with short straps and dual-packs? That would be useful for the purpose. And you could probably sell lots of them in Disney theme parks.

Oh and on the musical instrument front, I raise your Samchillian Tip Tip Tip Cheeepeeeee (which is really just a fancy computer keyboard), your Nanoguitar, and your flung vegetables, and raise you a Organistrum, an Aquaggaswack, a Pikasso guitar, and a Pyrophone. I do not hurl them, for that's become passé, rather I send a band in to surround you as they play the complete discography of Kajagoogoo on these instruments, using a very large wagon to transport the instruments and their related ammunition. They will be accompanied by a theoretical physicist playing leads on a theoretical double-necked Nanoguitar. They're threatening to play Wham!'s greatest hits. As well. I would not take their threats lightly.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

A few responses:

Samc ~ WE REALLY DO NEED A ROLL TIDE SMILIE. HERE. Oh. Sorry. Didn't realize I was yellin'. But... I concur. Mildheartedly. With lukewarm passion.

Don't get yer hopes up. Is what I'm thinkin'.

DJR ~ Did you find your neuron yet? Or not? Maybe it's the sticky thingie in your coat pocket. That you were hoping was just a mint.

LaLa ~ OK. First of all. I've read your latest chapter three times. It's great.

I want to draw a parallel between it and a popular '80's T.V. show. Tho.

I'm stumped. Forsure.

Give me some time. Or I'll resort to violence.

Oh.

We don't have alligators in Can-A-da! TFI. So I wasn't sure how to outwit one. But... if pressed I would've guessed running: FAST. To return the favour I'll tell you how to get away from a POLAR BEAR! Run like this: Fast, slow or literally stroll away singing show tunes and twirling a parasol. Because you're pretty much outta luck. Lady.

Celery ~ I'm sorry my dear crispygreengirl. I just think that watching you do the dance wouldn't be as much fun as watching Mr. Silli. But... I'm sure I would be moved. Anywho.

Can I put you in for Understudy?

Angelrose ~ Thanks, Baybee! Back at you!!!! Even tho I'm sad that I sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. Heh heh.

Wheatboy ~ Look. Bucko. Here's the problem: Great report. Even with the stellar and witty addition of "Great Pics". Leaves me NOTHING to work with.

I will wait for something better.

Or will I?

luv2crash ~ First of all: What is it you love to crash? If you were My General I'd say: Your car. But... I need to know. And... I DO... love me some Roll Tide!

lexmelinda ~ I was DED. I couldn't figure out if you were talkin' about Me(l) or YOU. AT FIRST.

NM ~ Check my bad belt girl!

When putting an outfit together do this: Make sure your belt matches your Tigger Ears. If you wear red. Then wear pink. Purple. Or orange. With it.
Stripes AND checks. Pants WITH a skirt. And white only AFTER Labour Day.

Oh.

And forget about that no shirt, no shoes, no service thingie. It's a load.

Haley ~ Hi Haley. I done it!! BTW.

Marion ~ We had NO OFFICIAL photographer hired for the trip.

Surprise!!!

This is what happened.

Sheelllbeeeee ~ Thanks!!! LOVE YA!

ncseric ~ Guess what? I KNOW how to pronounce your screenname now. Surprise. But... I'm SO embarrassed by how I used to say it.

Blush.

Frick ~ This IS the question of the decade: Who IS ZZUB?

General Silliness ~ Wham! Eh?

You're on ignore.


Whew. Keeping up with Mr. Silli's vast musical knowledge was killin' me.

ZZUB ~










Cheers, Mel.

 

[mlill]

Mel! We just saw one of your fellow Canadian's in concert last night. Loreena McKennitt! She was awesome! Almost as famous as you - but not quite.

Keep up the great TR. Pics are great - as usual.

-Michelle

 

[WheatThins]

Something better.

Wheat Thins

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Tommy and I made it up Main St.

We made it up Main without any more photos of half of our bodies.

We made it up Main without meeting any more FAMOUS Disers.

We made it up Main without hearing another single "Roll Tide".

We made it up Main without stopping in any of the shops... even though we had Mellyman's credit card. And NO Mellyman. To complain about it.

We made it up Main without anything going wrong.

Until we got to the Castle.

And my phone rang.

It actually rang AND vibrated.

Which disturbed me b/c I think I had done enough vibrating for EVERYONE. Already. Today.

I answered the phone while Tommy toured around nearby me. Checking everything out. Excited. And happy.

Me: Hello.
Mellyman: Hi. How are you guys?
Me: Great!!! We just met Flowerschild.
Mellyman: Who?
Me: Nevermind.
Mellyman: We're on our way up north now. But... Beth really wants to talk with you.
Me: Ok. Put her on.
Beth: Mommy.
Me: Hi, hon.

(And then the sobs start. And turn into crying. And more crying. Then the hitching of her breath. Finally. After... much murmuring and calming maternal noise from me... she quiets down.)

Beth: Mommy. I was second last. In my race.
Me: What happened?
Beth: I got stomach cramps and I couldn't run. I walked half the way. I wanted to quit and walk off but I saw Daddy watching and so I finished. I feel so bad, Mommy. I'm so embarrassed. It was HORRIBLE. I never want to do Cross Country AGAIN!!!! EVER!!!
Me: Whew. That's too bad, Bethy. That sure stinks. BUT... you DID finish the race right?
Beth: Yes.
Me: You crossed the finish line and you weren't the last, right?
Beth: Yes. The SECOND last. There was, like, a thousand kids in front of me though.
Me: No matter. You finished what you started. Even with cramps. You ask me... that's a pretty good show of character.
Beth: It was SO embarrassing.
Me: Did you catch the bus back to school with the rest of the team? Or did you ride with Daddy?
Beth: The bus.
Me: Well... what did your friends say?
Beth: They felt bad that I had to walk it.
Me: Anyone bug you about it?
Beth: No.
Me: Then... you're lucky. You have good friends. Another good thing to know. Right?
Beth: I guess.
Me: Did you talk to Daddy about it yet? Did he help you feel better?
Beth: Yeah. And Calvin said he would kick anyone's butt if they teased me.
Me: Well. You know that Daddy's always gonna help you look at things realistically. You KNOW THAT. And, you also know, that Calvin's got your back. Even though you guys bicker alot. He loves you. And, apparently, feels that only he should have the right hurt your feelings.
Beth: I feel so bad still. I really want to quit the team.
Me: Don't decide yet. I think you handled it really well. If you were a quitter... you wouldn't have finished that race. You know?
Beth: Maybe.
Me: Plus... you guys are on your way to spend the whole weekend with your COUSINS!!! You're gonna have so much FUN!!! So... put it behind you. You can't change it. So stop agonizing about it. Right?
Beth: Mom?
Me: Yep.
Beth: I wish you were here.
Me: Beth. I wish I was with you right now too. You have no idea how much I wish that.

(She cried some more. We talked some more. And said our goodbyes. I promised to call them later. To make sure they arrived safely.)

And stood in the shadow of the Happiest Place on Earth.

Feeling REALLY... unhappy.

Feeling so badly for Beth. For all the things she was starting to experience that I couldn't fix. For her. She's wired differently from the way Calvin is. He seems to handle things like I do. I worry, in different ways, about him. She seems to wear her heart on her sleeve. Tommy too. And... I worry about them. A lot. They are so sensitive. Calvin seems to have a thicker skin. He can roll with the punches. Literally. And he always sees the glass half full. He doesn't worry that things'll go his way. He assumes they will. Because... he figures... they have to go SOMEONE'S way. Why not his? My other two are not like that. Hurts linger. And threaten their confidence. And, as they get older, I can't always just kiss their boo boo. And make it magically better. Not anymore.

Sadly.

So... there I stood. Feeling lousy. While Tommy danced around me. And excited people hurried by.

Running for Fantasyland.

All I wanted to do... for the third time this same day... was run HOME.

Take my little girl in my arms. Hold her tight. And kiss the top of her head.

And make her boo boo go away.

Somehow.

And, if I couldn't do that... at least she could feel how much I wanted to.

Literally.


Three strikes.

So far today.

In my Happiest Place on EARTH!


What was WRONG?!


Maybe it was this: Maybe this WASN'T my happiest place on earth.

Maybe the Magic Kingdom wasn't as magical... as I had previously thought.

Maybe the magic doesn't all come from here: The Castle. The characters. The rides. The music. The smells. The sights.

Maybe WE bring a large part of the magic WITH us. In our expectations, our excitement, our nostalgia, our attitude and those... of our children.

I don't know.

All I know is that part of the magic was missing. For me.


Three parts. To be exact.

And, to make it worse... one of those three parts was missing ME. And needing me. Too.

I took Tommy's hand.

And... we headed towards Frontierland and Splash Mountain.


The very opposite direction from where I REALLY wanted to be heading: home.




Cheers, Mel.





To be continued. Up next: Don't worry. It gets better. Something really LUCKY happens.

 

[mmeb144]

Maybe it was this: Maybe this WASN'T my happiest place on earth.

Maybe the Magic Kingdom wasn't as magical... as I had previously thought.

Maybe the magic doesn't all come from here: The Castle. The characters. The rides. The music. The smells. The sights.

Maybe WE bring a large part of the magic WITH us. In our expectations, our excitement, our nostalgia, our attitude and those... of our children.

Right on, sista!

Marie

 

[LaLa]

But the only thing I could come up with was The Six Million (or is it Six Billion?) Dollar Man. And no, you're not the main character. MellyMan is. But since we all know you're no Bionic Woman either (or are you?), that just wouldn't work. So instead, I'll just comment on a few things....

Maybe WE bring a large part of the magic WITH us. In our expectations, our excitement, our nostalgia, our attitude and those... of our children.

I don't know.

I beg to differ. I think you do know. In fact, it sounds like you've pretty much got it figured out. The happiness that we all feel there is by no means solely attributable to the house that Walt built. It's a part of it for sure. The rides, the fireworks, the funnel cakes. It definitely wouldn't be the same without them. But in my opinion, it's what each of us bring with us that makes it so special and worth taking the time out of our busy days to write about. Well, it's either that or the Dole Whips. I know you were missing the rest of your family, Mel. But something tells me this trip, the one where he had his mom all to himself, will be tucked away in Tommy's little memory bank and it'll be part of the special something he brings back with him for years to come.

And I wouldn't worry too much about Beth and Tommy. They'll be just fine. How could they not when they've got such a smart and caring mom to help them though life's little hiccups? I'm sure she felt the love, Mel. That day. When she needed it. Heck, I felt the love just reading about it. And I don't even particularly LIKE you. Well, maybe I do. Just a little.

We made it up Main without hearing another single "Roll Tide".

That's only because they knew you were from Canada and you didn't really mean it.

 

[celerystalker]

Oh my. I'm in the lobby of a posh hotel in Kansas City.
With my eyes a wellin.
Dang you, Mel!
That was soooo good, but not in the normal Mel way.
Did zzub steal your computer?
You've taken us to deep emotional places (and no, I'm not speaking of THE LAND BATHROOM INCIDENT! ICK!), but you always flip it around and make it silly again.
Not this time.
Wow.
You summed it up so well.
And you know how I jokingly had "Mother of the Year" in my signature with your picture a while back? Cuz you always mention alcohol?
Wanna know what was going through my head this time?
Wow. What an incredible mother. Your pep talk to Beth was beautiful. You wanting to take special times with each one of your children is beautiful.
You, your mellyman and your three children are beautiful.
Heck, even the general and your smelly old van is beautiful.
Thanks SO much for sharing.
I'm going to go drown my sorrows in the hotel bar.

 

[ZZUB]

And stood in the shadow of the Happiest Place on Earth. Feeling REALLY... unhappy.

You can sure turn a phrase when you want to. This was an adroit and compelling description of a moment few of us ever encounter at Disney World.

Maybe the magic doesn't all come from here: The Castle. The characters. The rides. The music. The smells. The sights.Maybe WE bring a large part of the magic WITH us.

I'm fairly certain you're correct about this. And, like LaKisha, I suspect you do know where the magic comes from.

I always suspected there was an other side to you. You can't be as funny as you are without some contrast. Some texture. For a lousy canuck, with questionable grooming skills, no real love for Alabama football and a narcissistic relationship with punctuation, you obviously love your family. And that makes you good people in my book.

To the extent I have a book.

 

[DJR]

Very sweet, poignant and well written. Made me stop and think for a minute or two.

Now, who are you and what have you done with Mel?

 

[BONITATIME]

It's so difficult as they grow up and you can't solve their problems for them, all we can do is be there and hold their hands (when they let us.)

I am glad things get better.

 

[mlill]

Wow... powerful stuff. I could just feel the heart-wrenching... right there on Main Street. Wow. Never a dull moment in a happyhaunt TR... (you're a great mom, I'm just sayin'...)

-Michelle

 

[__disneygirl]

You are a great mom, Mel. That becomes clearer and clearer with every installment. You are right about bringing the magic with ya to Disney. I hope you and Tommy were able to have fun anyway! I'm sure you did. So glad you are back writing this report!

 

[samc]

I for one always knew you were good folk............afterall you're an Alabama fan!!!.....and because I've been reading your endless TR long enough to see it through the funny.

Rolling some Tuesday Tide right back at ya!!!!!!!!

 

[ncseric]

I for one always knew you were good folk............afterall you're an Alabama fan

Was she a Bama fan before ZZUB, or did ZZUB push her that way? Inquiring minds want to know. (Well, not really. Just making conversation.)