OMG What do I tell my friend????

[sajetto]

Thanks so much for the advice everyone. I'm not a professional so I can't give her the answers she needs, but it seems to be all she is looking for right now because she keeps asking "why". I think that everything is too new for her now to make any rational decisions, but I don't want her to stay just because she's afraid to leave. I guess I'm just going to have to be a support and watch how this whole thing pans out.

 

[Robinrs]

I think that your friend needs some serious marriage counseling. FWIW, I think porn is porn: hetro or gay. If he's prone to cheating he'll do it with a woman as fast as he'll do it with a man.

I can't imagine that you believe that...

A man watching a porno with women is natural. What normal man doesn't want to see a naked woman???? Women do not have the same need to see "naked men" so we don't understand it as a visual need and does NOT have to be acted upon. Men are visual creatures, women are tactile creatures, we need love and tenderness and equate it with sex, men do not have to connect them. Our problem is we think that men think like WE do!! NOT!

A heterosexual man who is interested in gay porn is a RED flag that should NOT be ignored. As someone mentioned, a hetero man would rather go blind than see that if he did not have that orientation. Believe me, back in my wild days I tried to DRAG my boyfriends to see them, you'd think I BURNED them. But all of them did NOT mind seeing the women... over and over and over.

sajetto: Your friend may end up in the same situation as Terry McMillan, Liza Minnelli and eventually, Star Jones, feeling hurt and disgusted because she ignored the signs. I had TWO, yes, TWO exes who came out of the closet AFTER our relationship and the flags were there, not glaring like this one but THERE. I chose to ignore them, why? Because I was young and dumb and wanted to believe them. We all travel that road one time or another. Like everyone said it is NOT your place to advise her, just listen to her....

and be there when she comes crying to you AFTER it's over.

God bless,

Robinrs