OMG, parents get WAY too caught up in kids sports

[zalansky]

OP - we have a 5 year old son playing baseball this season in Tampa too, but at Wellswood. This is his first season, but we have some kids on the team whose Dads are former pro players, so you know these kids are out there already looking pro themselves. They started playing at 3 years old. Who knew? These kids are not even hitting off the tee, they are being pitched to and only hit off the tee if they miss. Spring baseball here is fanatico, I heard the Fall league is very laid back. And as you said...you can tell which kids are the coaches kids. So far we haven't had any crazy yelling or insane parents. But its probably coming. My Dh said him and his friends didn't even start baseball until they were 7-8 years old, back in his day!

We're having a great time with it so far, its been lots of fun and very family oriented. Maybe we'll see you at All-Stars!!!!

 

[lovebuzz]

Where we live baseball is HUGE. This is the first year that my husband has not coached. ( we just got tired of all the parents yelling at all of the kids, coaches and umpires.) We just decided to sit back and watch the games. I have seen everything and we are talkiing 7 & 8 year olds playing coach pitch. We also switched leagues because in the fall alot of coaches moved up from the shetland leauge to the pinto and even in the fall they would argue over every decision the ref made. There is one coach in particular that at the 4 & 5 year old level would yell at the kids. I told my husband that if he decides not to coach I hope that we do not get him. Well one kid that was allways on our team ended up with this guy. They emailed us to tell us and all we could say was sorry.

 

[manning]

When I was a kid back in the stone age we had something called pick-up ball.

We would all get together, pick sides and play.

The enjoyment was playing ball. We really didn't care who won. It was just fun playing.

And we got together and did it again the next day with a different team. Whoever was on your team today was on the other tomorrow.

Today things are TOO organized.

 

[TheAmazingSpidey]

OMG, parents get WAY too caught up in kids sports

Pfft, you're tellin' me!

On Saturdays, I work 'the line' (sidelines) of National Youth Sport and highschool football games.

Jeez--you wouldn't believe some of the people there.

I remember my first game: The first game of the day was nine am. The field was packed. Well, the game started. The crowd behind me were loud and rowdy--you'd think their kids were in the freakin' superbowl.

Yeah, well, they screamed, booed, swore--they must have thought this was the superbowl.

Well, this coach? He was a piece of work (and a piece of work wasn't the only thing he was, either). He was screaming, swearing, all sorts of ----.

And since this was my first game, I made one or two minor, I'm talking teenie weenie mistakes...and you should have seen what happened. Freakin' tools.

Well, a little after twelve, the next team starts playing. Tch, another jerk coach. But this guy made that last guy look like Mickey Mouse. A kid from the opposing team started a fight with him after the game, because he was talking down to him and stuff. He yelled, swore, tossed things--another "I'M IN THE SUPERBOWL, AND NOT A KIDS FOOTBALL GAME!!" idiot. Sigh...both teams were a bunch of Grade A jacka--es. They took it WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. "YOU GET IN THERE AND TAKE OUT HIS KNEES!", I heard. "PUT HIM IN THE $*#&@^@ HOSPITAL!!", was another. "$*#&@& @^@^@@*%( ^(*#&*@&@*(@^@^@&@" was more.

I just...I couldn't believe those people. As if their stupid lives depended on the outcome of the game. Morons.

Sorry. This was kind of a rant. But those over-dramatic KID sports parents are one of my most hated things.

 

[Aidensmom]

OP - we have a 5 year old son playing baseball this season in Tampa too, but at Wellswood. This is his first season, but we have some kids on the team whose Dads are former pro players, so you know these kids are out there already looking pro themselves. They started playing at 3 years old. Who knew? These kids are not even hitting off the tee, they are being pitched to and only hit off the tee if they miss. Spring baseball here is fanatico, I heard the Fall league is very laid back. And as you said...you can tell which kids are the coaches kids. So far we haven't had any crazy yelling or insane parents. But its probably coming. My Dh said him and his friends didn't even start baseball until they were 7-8 years old, back in his day!

We're having a great time with it so far, its been lots of fun and very family oriented. Maybe we'll see you at All-Stars!!!!

We played at Wellswood for a practice game, I wonder if we played your son's team! We don't have any former pro players that I am aware of, but I could imagine that would cause a kid some pressure even if the parent wasn't putting any pressure!

 

[zalansky]

Aidensmom - I think our team played your team this past Thursday night! We were the Braves from Wellswood. I also thought i saw you in the dugout (just going by memory of pics I'd seen of you here) - was it you?

It was a fun game!

 

[Aidensmom]

Aidensmom - I think our team played your team this past Thursday night! We were the Braves from Wellswood. I also thought i saw you in the dugout (just going by memory of pics I'd seen of you here) - was it you?

It was a fun game!

Yes, we played you! You're child is on a great team, you all slaughtered us. And yes, I was in the dugout, I have somehow become the official person to make sure everyone can find their equipment.

 

[The Mayor]

My son plays baseball. It has always been stressed to him that he is there to have fun, win or lose, though we try our best to win. He gets it. Heck, he is the team's biggest cheerleader even if they do bad, he is sure to tell everyone they played a great game.

I was very grateful that my son got on a team where the coach, while competitive to the point that he wants to get the kids to strive to win, isn't a big yeller or makes them feel bad if they mess up or in general makes a jerk out of himself on the field. We've had bad calls against us, we just take it as it comes....

I was flabbergasted today at my son's game when the coach on the opposing team started having a freaking temper tantrum because our first baseman's miraculous catch (we are talking 5 and 6 year olds here) caused him to accuse us first of cheating because the child jumped into the baseline to make the catch (thus supposedly purposely blocking the batter from making it to first base), but then when it was called an out went on to badmouth our team as being the team no one wanted to play because we were such jerks and tell our kids to keep running instead of stopping at first base. (yes, he was met with replies of "if the kid hits it to the fence, yep, we're going to let him get a homerun." ).

It is a GAME. If my 6 year old gets it that its not the end of the world if you lose, why can't adults?

People need to let their KIDS play and enjoy the game!

As my son says, "We're 5 and 6, we don't know what we're doing"

Just saw this and have not read any other post except the OP...I've been playing, coaching and refereeing youth/high school hockey since I was 5 years old (I'm 53 now) and the one thing that takes the fun out of sports for kids is the adults...I wish all parents took your aproach

 

[Aidensmom]

Just saw this and have not read any other post except the OP...I've been playing, coaching and refereeing youth/high school hockey since I was 5 years old (I'm 53 now) and the one thing that takes the fun out of sports for kids is the adults...I wish all parents took your aproach

You sound like you are a good coach.

 

[The Mayor]

You sound like you are a good coach.

and you and Gary have the right approach ...let your son have fun...whether they win or lose, 5 minutes after the game is over the only thing the kids care about is who's buying the ice cream

 

[Aidensmom]

whether they win or lose, 5 minutes after the game is over the only thing the kids care about is who's buying the ice cream

Isn't that the truth!

 

[The Mayor]

Isn't that the truth!

It is ...and more parents/coaches need to realize this

 

[EltonJohn]

The MOOSE is LOOSE out on the field as comedian Bill Engvall says-that was a hilarious routine

 

[shortbun]

Gosh, we've made it to middle school and still not encountered any of those parents. I am so thankful! Ds has a great coach this year who told us that it was HIS job to question the refs and our job to say, "good game, are you hungry?" to our sons when the game was over. This coach takes sportsmanship pretty seriously. Yesterday, we had a basketball game that ended 53-9 in our favor. The coach made a rule in the first 5 minutes that the boys had to complete 3 rotations of a wheel passing drill before anyone was allowed to take a shot. No one was allowed to steal and he immediately put them in a strict zone defense. All of these things made it possible for the other team to score their nine points. It was a great lesson in mentoring as this other team was so inexperienced it was questionable as to why they entered this league. Our kids came off the field shaking hands with them, telling them what great sports they were for not giving up. ALL the children were smiling and all the parents were happy.

 

[zalansky]

Yes, we played you! You're child is on a great team, you all slaughtered us. And yes, I was in the dugout, I have somehow become the official person to make sure everyone can find their equipment.

I should have come over and said hi...I wanted to but thought "if that is not her, I might come off like a real psycho"...
There are 4 kids on that team that pretty much carry it. 3 of the kids are children of former pro players, if that tells you anything! The team is still winning and we have a game today at 10am. But we're playing the best team today so we might get knocked out.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

You guys need to come over here -- I swear we have the most laid back teams ever, which is great 'cause my 9 year old doesn't have a competitive bone in his body.

His soccer team last year might have had a winning season -- or it might not. At the party after the last game not one parent could remember how many games we'd won or lost, or even whether we'd won the game the week before (we were pretty sure that we had won the game that ended 1/2 an hour before the party, but our math could have been off). Yes, that includes the coaches.

His hockey "program" (technically an instructional program rather than a real team) played 2 games, both against the same team (only team laid back enough to want to play us). At the away game we were short players so they lent us a few, at the home game they were short a couple of players so their coach played. Again, my son tells me they won, but I think I overheard some kids on the other team telling their mom they won.

His basketball team (same kids and coaches as the soccer team) is in a somewhat more competitive league. However, we don't have to worry about people getting mad at us because they SUCK. Most of the games were 27 to 2, 30 to 4. One game was like 12 to 8 and we were thrilled -- of course we still had the 8, but it's nice to lose by less than a power of 10.

Why can't all sports be like that?

 

[Disney Doll]

OMG, I am laughing SO hard!

But it does get competitive in drama, it's just different. Having been around many theatres, some of the stage mothers ?....creepy MUCH. They don't actually have conversations *with* you...they tell you in great detail all about all the shows "Susy" has done since the last time you saw each other.
And *all* about all the lessons she's taking.
AND *all* about the auditions she's been going to.
And on and on.

I will say, that the audiences at our local high school are a lot more demonstrative than I'm used to (at least at the choir/band concerts), but it's always been supportive. (None of that "Put down that flute, you SUCK!!" stuff.)

agnes!

I was dying too, when I read that "Put down that flute, you suck" comment!!!!!

My nephew played in his college marching band for a couple of years. We went to one of the games. We were staying at a bed & breakfast near the campus, as were the parents of another band member. The other mother was so very much better than us, and everyone else for that matter, or so she thought, and her Suzy was an only child who had had the best of everything in order to make it to this very prestigious university...tutors, private music lessons etc. My nephew was one of 3 kids in his family, had some musical talent, played in the marching band in HS and made it in college.

Well, the mother of the other kid kept referring to her DD as a "trumpet". As in, "Yes, Suzy is a trumpet in the band". So she asks my DSIL what nephew plays, and DSIL says "A mellophone" (marching band french horn). So the woman says "Oh, so Mike is a mellophone". DSIL goes "No, Mike is a young man who plays a mellophone. I did not give birth to a mellopphone". Of course, I had to chime in with "Thank God!Have you seen how big a mellophone is!".

Holier-Than-Thou-Woman was not amused...but we were.

In all seriousness though...I do not have children, but have been to hundreds...maybe thousands...of kids games (nieces, nephews, friends' children etc.) over the years. And I have been amazed at soem of the behavior of the parents, which unfortuantely the kids will model.

It's nothing new though. I remember when I palyed volleyball in HS in the 80's, we had a father who got ejected from more than one of his daughter's volleyball games for his behavior. Talk about embrassing for the kid! I swear, if that guy was my father, I probably wouldn't have even told him I made the team.

 

[Disney Doll]

Yes, we played you! You're child is on a great team, you all slaughtered us. And yes, I was in the dugout, I have somehow become the official person to make sure everyone can find their equipment.

That would make you the Director of Equipment Management, don't you think?

 

[debster812]

So, I had to revisit this.

I'm on our soccer board, and we completed week #2 of our Spring Travel Season. We are fielding 22 teams, ranging from age 6 and 7, all the way up to U19.

I happened to be at the fields yesterday for a Girls U10 game (these were VERY young U10s, mostly 7 year old, 2nd graders). There was one father, who literally did NOT STOP YELLING the entire 50 minutes of the game. Yelling at these little itty bitty girls to be AGRESSIVE, TAKE THE BALL AWAY FROM HER, GO RIGHT THROUGH HER, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BADLY YOU'RE PLAYING! These are 6 and 7 year old, little girls!

I went up to him, and discreetly asked him to simmer down a little bit, as he was intimidating the girls on both teams. The ref asked him to simmer down, and again he did not. As he was SCREAMING at his daughter, the dad of one of DS's teammates (who also happens to be a police officer in town) came over, spoke with him away from the game, and told him he had to leave the field. And that he was not allowed back this weekend. This guy also happens to have a son on DS's team so we get to deal with him as well.

I got a call at DS's game today, from the police officer, asking me if the obnoxious dad was there. He was actually at the field complex, but not at the pitch our boys were playing on. Again, the police officer dad arrived, and escorted him off the fields.

We are thisclose, as a board from barring this man permanently from any games, both home and away. The league president has asked him to come and meet with him, so they can hopefully come to some agreement on how we can avoid banning him from the field, but I don't know if it will work.

 

[67Grumpy]

Hello! I've been going down nostalgia lane for the last few days as I'm terminally ill. I have well informed info this kiddo played rec, travel, high school baseball, all with a mom who was either helping in the dugout, helping coaching, or even on the board for his league, while when just being an observer said NOTHING because he asked his mom to please not be "that mom." He played through high school and was scouted by colleges, but he decided it was too much to do sports and academics both, and that was a very admirable decision from the kid whose life goal was to play MLB. He is majoring in Sports Business now, hoping to help run a team. Yes, I'm Aidensmom, though it's been over 10 years since I posted anything. I'm just enjoying the nostalgia, and I seriously miss some of the posters I got to know! Hope you are all doing fantastic!