Okay...I've Called the Late Night DISers, Now I'm Calling the Single DISers (Part 2)

[TigerBear]

LOL FM! Yep, common sense and intelligence are both important. Intelligence without common sense - you couldn't pay me to go back there.

For those of you who want surprise proposals, how much of a surprise do you want it to be? If you haven't even discussed marriage before, wouldn't that be an awfully big risk for the guy? Or do you just mean that once you have talked about it, you still want him to sweep you off your feet when he "officially" proposes?

 

[Pin Wizard]

I can talk about those things first in general terms. And I would hope that the guy has "common sense" and can pick up on how I feel about him. Not to mention telling and showing him. (No dense guys, please!!!) And the second time around, I have a one to two year limit on dating. Geez...my husband and I dated 4.5 YEARS before I gave him the ultimatum. That's way too long in my book. But I want the surprise.

 

[TigerBear]

I hear ya. But I don't necessarily believe that love is enough to make a marriage work. That doesn't sound very romantic does it? I do completely agree with knowing your own time limit...

 

[Pin Wizard]

LEGS...Time to clean out your PM box.

I'm not sure it's enough either, TB. Well, there's the old "C" word...commitment. When the tough times come and you're not feeling so "loving," you're going to need that!

 

[TigerBear]

Oh yes, the "C" word. I definitely had that with my ex. I don't think I ever would have left him. But man am I glad he left me!!

Did anyone watch the Bachelor last night? I'm so glad he didn't propose!

I wonder what is up with Doc? I don't think we have heard from her since her trip. Doc, if you are out there, stop in some time!

 

[legs22]

I now have room in my PM box

We were going through a rough time and XH didn't have "C" so he left me and it was not fun. Then I divorced him. That wasn't fun either.

In any future relationship I would hope we had discussed getting married before the guy proposes so that we're on the same page. Then I would want him to surprise me with a romantic proposal. The guy must be a romantic! I would not want to be in an ultimatum situation. It seems like your forcing something (marriage) that maybe just shouldn't happen.

I watched the Bachelor. I had too much TV going on at the same exact time. I switched back and forth between the Bachelor and AI and at the same tame was taping another show. They tricked me by having him pick the first girl out of the limo. Usually the first to arrive is the loser. Tara was such a wreck. Jessica just seemed to be the right type of girl for him. Plus she had a better family than Tara with her gun toting Dad.

 

[floridaminnie]

Need to have the commitment, the trust, the give and take, and the love. A friend and I were having a talk about this the other day. You either know you are going to marry someone...it doesn't take five or ten years to figure it out.

 

[TigerBear]

Originally posted by legs22
In any future relationship I would hope we had discussed getting married before the guy proposes so that we're on the same page. Then I would want him to surprise me with a romantic proposal. The guy must be a romantic! I would not want to be in an ultimatum situation. It seems like your forcing something (marriage) that maybe just shouldn't happen.

This sounds perfect to me!

My time table isn't about an ultimatum. If we haven't discussed our future together by my time limit, I'll just know/accept that we are not meant to be together. And my heart will be crushed. I too don't think it should take too long - especially not at my age! LOL!!

Legs, I'm sorry your separation and divorce were so rough. I think that tends to be the norm.

 

[Pin Wizard]

In this case DH had cold feet from his first marriage...and divorce. After he had died, I was talking to his best friend on the phone one day. His friend said that DH actually wanted to ask me to marry him long before he did. I thought...but he didn't ask me! Ha! To this day I let his friend think that's the way it happened.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...It's after midnight! So it's officially May 21...my wedding anniversary. Would have been 16 years this time. What am I going to do to keep my mind busy all day? In the evening we're going to an air show.

 

[Dan Murphy]

's, Sandy.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Thanks, Dan!

 

[legs22]

Got another eHarmony match. This one is from a teeny tiny town of 1,900 in Central FL that I've never heard of. Closest big town to it is Lakeland. He's 4 yrs. younger. I haven't communicated with any of these matches and end up closing them. There is either something I don't like about them in their profile or they're too old or they're too far away. EHarmony recommends communicating with every match though.

PW- Hope you get through the day ok
The air show should be fun. I always loved seeing the Blue Angels and the Thunderbirds.

 

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

PW: It is days like this that hit hard. Yes keep yourself busy but not by yourself. (Atleast that is how I have to be) Go out with DS and do something, anything. None of this And here's another

As for the Surprise proposal, I would like to have talked about marriage first at some point. But I usually do, I am not afraid to bring things up. I set time limits too, I spent 4 yrs with one guy and we did talk about marriage infact, he said we could go ring shopping soon then he left Whatever, I guess that is just the way it was suppossed to be. It sure did hurt though. All I really ask out of someone is not to fill me with crap! Don't feed me lines PLEASE! And please don't take forever to "decide" what you want. You know what I mean. My mom was with my step dad for 8 yrs before he asked her!! I wouldn't have been able to wait that long! No more than 4 for me unless we have talked about everything and there is a valid reason.

Commitment... I don't even want to touch that issue right now. I will get back to that one when I have a little bit more time to elaborate.

 

[TigerBear]

Originally posted by mickeysdsnyprncs
I would like to have talked about marriage first at some point. But I usually do, I am not afraid to bring things up.

Oh, I'm not afraid to bring it up. I just think it is so much more romantic if the prospect of marriage is first mentioned by the man. I guess that's where my feminist views go out the door.

Hugs to you PW, my friend. I hope you will have fun tonight! And this weekend too!

Leggs, how far is that guy from you?

 

[TigerBear]

Originally posted by mickeysdsnyprncs
Commitment... I don't even want to touch that issue right now. I will get back to that one when I have a little bit more time to elaborate.

Sounds interesting....

 

[legs22]

3 hours away. All I could think about this guy is I don't want to end up living in some small hick town.

I still haven't sent in my photo. I don't want to meet anyone here because I don't want to be here anymore.

 

[floridaminnie]

{{hugs}} Sandy

Eharmony for me was more for entertainment than anything else. You can't really develope a relationship with a person over the internet...there has to be some kind of connection person to person.

Funny thing about talking about all this here. Marriage doesn't scare me one bit, but the wedding and engagement thing scares me. Agh...can we just skip that part...kind of hard. I wouldn't give a guy an ultimatium though, b/c then he would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. He has to want to as much as you want to. But you need to talk about marriage and all that good stuff ahead of time to make sure you are on the same page.

 

[legs22]

Eharmony for me was more for entertainment than anything else. You can't really develope a relationship with a person over the internet...there has to be some kind of connection person to person.

My friend who did Match for a short time would meet with the guy as soon as she could so she could see what the guy was really like in person.

 

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

Originally posted by legs22
My friend who did Match for a short time would meet with the guy as soon as she could so she could see what the guy was really like in person.

I met one guy off of Yahoo Personals, and he was a weirdo. Not a psyco just weird. Kinda scared me away from the whole internet thing. i have met other people from the internet but not potential dates just friends, like people who are or have been to the WDWCP.