Fishbone†
<font color=blue>Does strange things while sleepin
- Joined
- May 31, 2001
- Messages
- 1,372
This thread is too funny. I'm at my desk giggling.
Growing up my older brother had a particularly noisy and odoriferous backside. He found it very entertaining to "bless" his car-captive family with his "fragrant" touch on numerous road trips. My little brother (only about two or three at the time) had developed a routine of gagging each time this would happen. So...... we're at church one Sunday morning, and an older lady in front of us sneaks one of those SBD (Silent But Deadly) types out. Let me tell you, this was that highly-dense, remarkable hang-time, sulpheric (eggs and beer) doozies. My older brothers are junior high aged, and trying their best to keep in control. You can see them wiggling, looking down, reading the hymnal.... anything to redirect their attention. Noses are crinkling..... eyes are watering..... grown adults are turning green. My little brother's timing is impeccable...... just in that moment of silence, as everyone bows to pray, he breaks into his gagging routine. The entire pew lost it..... as did two pews behind, and three pews ahead. There was no control.... for adult, teen or pre-teen.
Growing up my older brother had a particularly noisy and odoriferous backside. He found it very entertaining to "bless" his car-captive family with his "fragrant" touch on numerous road trips. My little brother (only about two or three at the time) had developed a routine of gagging each time this would happen. So...... we're at church one Sunday morning, and an older lady in front of us sneaks one of those SBD (Silent But Deadly) types out. Let me tell you, this was that highly-dense, remarkable hang-time, sulpheric (eggs and beer) doozies. My older brothers are junior high aged, and trying their best to keep in control. You can see them wiggling, looking down, reading the hymnal.... anything to redirect their attention. Noses are crinkling..... eyes are watering..... grown adults are turning green. My little brother's timing is impeccable...... just in that moment of silence, as everyone bows to pray, he breaks into his gagging routine. The entire pew lost it..... as did two pews behind, and three pews ahead. There was no control.... for adult, teen or pre-teen.
Back in the "honeymoon" period of dating my bf (dh now) we went out to eat at Red Lobster. When we returned to my house, my bf went to the bathroom. At that moment I realized I needed to relieve myself and did so - it smelled SOOOO bad I could smell it and realize how horrible it was. I was mortified b/c I had only dated him a few times and really liked him. So what did I do? I sprayed the air with my perfume to mask the smell. So dh2b comes back, crinkles his nose and said "what is that god awful smell? did your perfume go bad?" so at that point, I died laughing of embarrassment and told the truth.
There is a legend in my family. As my mother and I were shopping one day we came upon an aisle in which there were 2 little old ladies. One went around the corner, farted a horribly stinky fart (and by the way loud but I guess it's kinda like a tree in the woods). She then called over to her friend in the next aisle "Don't come over here Mary!!" Mary didn't and neither did we. Now whenever I have to let loose in public I go around the corner, come back and tell DSis not to go over there. 
Well, it turns out the door was still open and they heard! I was mortified! DH still teases me about the "Burp of '91" 
and RAN.
