Ok so it's time to ask for help...I need help.

[hinodis]

Just wanted to give you a.

 

[bsusanmb]

Ok everyone here is an update so to speak. Our appt with the counseling co. was this morning and all last night I was just procrastinating and didn't want to pull any of the info together to bring with us. My dh came home from work early last night (11:30pm instead of 12:40am) and I started talking.

I told him that I posted on here and tried to get some advice. He was a little peeved, as I knew he would be, that I could tell complete strangers and not him. Understandable. I then broke out Dave R's budget worksheet that I had filled out and showed him where all of our money goes each month and our shortfall at the end of each month. He didn't seemed suprised. He was a little mad that I couldn't just write down what the bills were and what I paid every week to share with him. Again, understandable. He took it well.

This morning we got to the place and they pulled my credit report (not his) and talked to us about debt management which is us paying them to negotiate lower intrest rates and set payments with our 4 credit cards. They told us about bankruptcy and the other option of us not paying our credit cards at all and letting the chips fall where they may, if you will.

My dh and I left there with information in hand. We didn't sign up for anything. My dh is going to call our CC's and see what he can do himself, first, about lowering our payments or our interest rates before we pay someone to do it for us. He is fully supportive of me and tells me he is going to help me and we can do this together. He knows my biggest concern is that we have nothing for an emergency and we are basically, like Crisi said, 1 disaster away from bankruptcy. I feel sick over this. Honestly really sick. I held back the tears as he went home and I went to work but I just feel sick. How did I let this happen?

I don't think the counseling service was all that and a bag of chips. I don't know what I was expecting - maybe a miracle - maybe better advice - maybe I am living in my own little world. I really wanted better advice on how to tame our budget but you all have been much more helpful and honest. I don't want to pay them a start-up cost and then $50 a month to do this. I don't know that my dh does either. I guess we will be doing a lot of talking in the next few days.

Just wanted to update eveyone who has been so helpful to me and tell you thank you! I will keep posting, if anyone is interested in reading

Michelle

Michelle,
I had 47,000 in unsecured debt. I called Consumer Credit Counseling or apprisen.com on the internet. They ARE the first and oldest non profit agency. I did not pay anything up front. They negotiated ALL of my debt down to the lowest interest rate the companies would accept, lowest payments the companies would accept, all for no fee up front, sent me the information in writing, and a payment plan I could afford. I went from $2600 a month minimum payments to $1170 payment, eliminating HUGE interest and will be paid off in 3 years rather than 15 or more years. I pay $25 a month for this service, but it is because my income is high.
I really encourage you to check this out. It was the BEST thing I have ever done. I have paid off 7 debts in the past year, 5 of which were cc's.
Susan

 

[Tink-aholic]

I am really pulling for the OP. Honestly Michelle, when I was in the middle pages of posts, it looked like you were giving every reason possible to NOT get out of debt. You wanted help, but needed three vehicles, cell phones, $700 grocery bills (without buying meat). But, over the course of the posts, I think I've seen a real shift in your thinking. You have the right attitude that can get you through the hard times. Just don't let yourself fall back.

I wish you the best of luck, and please continue to post. We want to hear how you're doing.

 

[dislvr74]

You should not have to pay for credit counseling! Several years ago I used non-profit agency though Lutheran Social Services and they negotiated lower payments for me. I paid the agency once a month and they paid the credit card agencies. I was able to pay everything off in a much shorter amount of time and they gave me a realistic monthly payment. I never paid the agency ANYTHING! It was the best decision I ever made.

 

[sk!mom]

I have to say we don't eat out unless it's McDonalds (there are 5 of us so to spend $25 on that is average) or pizza ($5 crappy pizza at Ceasers). We aren't going to Outback for steak or anything. I don't shop for clothes too much and if I do I pay cash but then that makes things tight to pay those darn CC's. There is no wiggle room in our budget at all. Here are some of our bills:
Electric - $82 bucks a month
Garbage - $22 bucks a month
CC's - $1035 a month
Groceries - $range 450 - 700 a month
Dish - $45 a month
Car Ins - $381 a month

Your grocery bill doesn't seem that high to me but since you need to get out of debt you could certainly trim it to the barebones- maybe $100 per week. You should cut eating out. Even $25 at McDonald's is too much. We rarely eat fast food at all. To me $25 at McDonalds is a bigger waste of money than 4 times that at a nicer restaurant. I can make a better tasting, much more nutritous meal, quickly at home for much less than $25.

Your auto insurance seems very high to me. I would check into lowering that. That is more than 3 times what we pay for full coverage on two cars. Do you have teens, accidents on your record, several tickets, sports cars?

Good luck to you!

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Hi there. I just wanted to post an update on our situation. You were all so supportive and helpful to me so thanks for that!

Well we did meet with the credit counselor and they wanted to charge us $50 to get our credit card intrest rates down and to decrease our payments maybe by $100 a month. I was thinking they would do more and so was my dh. Not really. I thought they would be more helpful with helping us budget. Not really. So we are tackling this ourselves.

My dh and I talked about what we were going to do to help our situation and my dh has 3 of our 4 credit cards in his name so the creditors wouldn't even talk to me. I told him to call and make arrangements with them and while he did that I worked on the 1 card in my name. I was decently successful with Chase. They closed the card and lowered the intrest rate and we set up a payment that I was comfortable with. The woman was extremely helpful to me. I called 1 of my dh's cards cuz I delt with them in the past and they seemed eager to break the current arrangement I had so we could re-work it. That was Citibank. The 2 hardest co I have heard to work with - were willing. Nice!

My dh.. well he gave up. He called his 2 cards and told them to work with me. So I called the companies and they won't work with us at all. They are the 2 highest payment cards we have. Frustrating. We continue to call them and try to work with them but they.... well they just won't deal. We will keep trying.

Meanwhile...back at the ranch....I have cut our grocery bill way down and have been planning out our meals for the week and only buying what I need. My dh is fully on board with seeing all bills and everything going out the door. He is somewhat in shock. We have gotten that landline disconnected. We have cut down the DISH to bare (since we are rural we need something to get local channels). I have called the car ins. company and I took my minivan down to PL and PD and we are taking the insurance off of the big truck. My dh is trying to sell some of his equipment from his business. Might have a bulldozer sold this week. My dh is coming to terms with the fact that we struggled to keep his business afloat when we probably never should have had it in the first place even thou it made him happy.

Things are tough but we will get through this. I had a very rough week and a very helpful disser was there to guide me!!! You know who you are ((((hugs)))) and I can't thank you enough for listening to me (and discouraging me from buying something other than what I needed at the time)!!!

We will keep on keeping on and hopefully we get our heads on straight and keep them that way so we can be debt free one day!!!

Michelle

 

[minnie1928]

Sounds like you made some real progress! Keep up the good work!!

 

[brewcrew]

It sounds like you are doing a great job! Keep positive and keep paying down that debt!

 

[tinkarooni]

I just wanted to tell you Good Luck and to keep it up.
I always, always, always feel better about anything finiancial when I have a plan in place. You need to keep working on getting your plan in place, get things in order, what's coming in and what's going out and than just keep digging. You can do it with the right mindset. Good Luck

 

[Virgderon]

Good job! You have made great progress in a short time.

Dh and I have some cards in CCS, and a few we negotiated ourselves. If you can share what credit card company it is that refuses to deal, I might be able to offer some advice.

Be aware that the types of negotiating you are doing may do some damage to your credit- depends on how the companies report it.

For us, it didn't matter. We weren't in the position to be worried about credit scores- we were not planning on buying a house (we may never buy a house again for a variety of reasons) or car for several years.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Good job! You have made great progress in a short time.

Dh and I have some cards in CCS, and a few we negotiated ourselves. If you can share what credit card company it is that refuses to deal, I might be able to offer some advice.

Be aware that the types of negotiating you are doing may do some damage to your credit- depends on how the companies report it.

For us, it didn't matter. We weren't in the position to be worried about credit scores- we were not planning on buying a house (we may never buy a house again for a variety of reasons) or car for several years.

Well HSBC won't deal and neither will PNC (formerly National City). We asked about long term payment programs but they tell us they only have short term (6 months) and PNC said they won't work with us at all. We will continue to pay them and if this bulldozer gets sold then 1 of those 2 cards will get paid off and closed for sure!

I don't really care about my credit score right now - I mean I do but I don't as in it isn't my first thing to worry about. I am already a home owner and not planning on selling right now and as far as cars go - I should be set for now !

Any advice is welcomed!

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

Yay for you!!!!

 

[bsusanmb]

Hey, Michelle, glad to hear that you are working with your DH on this. It's funny, I was just looking over my progress with my debt management plan today, and have been on it for 15 months. I started out with $40,000 and am now down to $27,000. I have another 17 months to go. The interest I have saved is $39,500. WOW. There was no way I was ever going to get out of this without help. I am now very aware of where my money goes and making sure that I stay on track. Sorry that the counseling service wasn't any help to you. But you are doing the right thing. With those two companies that you are having trouble with....what happened to me when I tried to negotiate on my own was that I was told by the cc company that I had to be 3 months behind before they would do a hardship program for me. Now isn't that crazy? They were able to bleed me dry with 28% interest and my ability to pay only minimum payments, so why offer me a hardship program? Of course, I take total responsibility for ending up in debt. The bank didn't make me go into debt. But I must say that the banks used to raise your credit limit without asking and it is so easy to keep charging when you are in trouble. Hugs to you, Michelle, and hang in there!

 

[Virgderon]

Not sure about PNC, but HSBC will deal. The bad news is that you have to be late, one of the most ridiculous things about dealing with credit card settlement and hardship programs. According the the folks at the creditinfoforums, HSBC will settle around the 100 days late mark.

Chase for example, had my DH on a 1 year hardship program . When it was over, his original payment tripled! He called to be put on another program, and they refused. After 3 or 4 phone calls, a very nice person at Chase told him he needed to be late, and to wait until he was more than 30 days late on a payment.

Well , reluctantly, that is what we did. We now have a 5 year payoff at 0 percent with an affordable payment.

Obviously, this approach is not for everyone. Since we have no intention of buying a house, and will pay cash for our next car, we could afford the damage that this kind of negotiating will do to your credit.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

On purpose I didn't pay the June PNC and HSBC - I thought if I showed late (not 30 days but enuf days that they started to call me daily) that they would see we needed help. YA RIGHT! They didn't care. It's funny HSBC wanted to settle with us for less than what we owed in total but they wouldn't accept a lesser monthly payment with a lower intrest rate - I thought that was totally stupid. I just got an email from them saying my payment is late and there are payment programs available to help us. Again YA RIGHT! been there, done that. If I go past 30 days late my late fees rack up and maybe even go higher than 24.99%. I don't want to chance it. I guess I will just pay them off first chance.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Hey, Michelle, glad to hear that you are working with your DH on this. It's funny, I was just looking over my progress with my debt management plan today, and have been on it for 15 months. I started out with $40,000 and am now down to $27,000. I have another 17 months to go. The interest I have saved is $39,500. WOW. There was no way I was ever going to get out of this without help. I am now very aware of where my money goes and making sure that I stay on track. Sorry that the counseling service wasn't any help to you. But you are doing the right thing. With those two companies that you are having trouble with....what happened to me when I tried to negotiate on my own was that I was told by the cc company that I had to be 3 months behind before they would do a hardship program for me. Now isn't that crazy? They were able to bleed me dry with 28% interest and my ability to pay only minimum payments, so why offer me a hardship program? Of course, I take total responsibility for ending up in debt. The bank didn't make me go into debt. But I must say that the banks used to raise your credit limit without asking and it is so easy to keep charging when you are in trouble. Hugs to you, Michelle, and hang in there!

SO for 15 months you have been going at it. How tough was it at first to change - did you ever lapse or what? A tough thing for me is that my kids are older (15, 13, and 11) and they wanna go to the movies with friends or go here and there and now I have to say, "sorry we can't afford it" whereas before I would just dish out the money and let them go. I never gave them more than they needed for a ticket, beverage and snack but now I am accountable to my dh. If he saw that I gave them money when we have $______ of debt he would pretty much go through the roof. How did you handle those situations when you were first starting? I find myself feeling bad telling my kids no when they don't really do much to begin with.

Yuck! I know we go ourselves here but yuck!

 

[Virgderon]

On purpose I didn't pay the June PNC and HSBC - I thought if I showed late (not 30 days but enuf days that they started to call me daily) that they would see we needed help. YA RIGHT! They didn't care. It's funny HSBC wanted to settle with us for less than what we owed in total but they wouldn't accept a lesser monthly payment with a lower intrest rate - I thought that was totally stupid. I just got an email from them saying my payment is late and there are payment programs available to help us. Again YA RIGHT! been there, done that. If I go past 30 days late my late fees rack up and maybe even go higher than 24.99%. I don't want to chance it. I guess I will just pay them off first chance.

Once they decide to put you on a hardship program they usually forgive late fees and roll missed payments into the new payment plan. It's worth another phone call- try letting it get to 31 days late exactly.

Negotiating with creditors takes patience. Their goal is to get as much out of you as possible. Your goal is to pay the debt but minimize the interest rate. The first thing you need to decide is whether you are trying to settle the debt or get a hardship plan. For Dh and I, we felt like we created the debt, and we were obligated to pay it, but at a reasonable rate of interest. So we never asked for a settlement, altho I did end up settling one card because that is what the credit card company offered.

When you call them, make it sound like you are a heartbeat away from bankruptcy, and you are strongly considering bankruptcy. Be ready with a list of your payments and obligations, because they may ask you to prove you have a problem. The goal here is to show that you have a lot of obligations and a very minimal amount of cash left over every month after paying those obligations. You DONT want to say that you have more payments than you do income. If you literally have more bills than you do income, they have no incentive to negotiate with you. They will figure you simply can't pay.

Make notes of your conversations. If they offer you a payment plan, or a settlement offer, make sure to get it in writing. Get the first and last name and extension of the person who offered it to you.

Because of the huge numbers of people defaulting on their credit cards, it is getting much easier to negotiate with credit card companies, but you can't say things like: "you people are robbing me- 24.99 interest is thievery!" In the end, you used the card, you spent the money, and at some point you missed a payment or did something to make your interest rate go up.

 

[momoflizandains]

I have read through this entire thread, and I am really pulling for you. You CAN turn this around.

 

[minnie1928]

SO for 15 months you have been going at it. How tough was it at first to change - did you ever lapse or what? A tough thing for me is that my kids are older (15, 13, and 11) and they wanna go to the movies with friends or go here and there and now I have to say, "sorry we can't afford it" whereas before I would just dish out the money and let them go. I never gave them more than they needed for a ticket, beverage and snack but now I am accountable to my dh. If he saw that I gave them money when we have $______ of debt he would pretty much go through the roof. How did you handle those situations when you were first starting? I find myself feeling bad telling my kids no when they don't really do much to begin with.

Yuck! I know we go ourselves here but yuck!

Do your kids know about the situation? They should be involved. At their ages they are old enough to understand basic finances and this could be an excellent learning opportunity for them, hopefully allowing them to learn from your mistakes.

 

[crisi]

I'm glad you are making progress. Do get the kids involved. All your kids are old enough to earn enough money for their own movies - mowing lawns, other yard work, housework, babysitting (for the younger one, being a mother's helper). Having a garage sale of their old stuff.