Oh me, oh my-does baby Suri really exist???update now aka "The Suri Challenge"

[Poohnatic]

News Flash, I've got a picture of Suri!!!!
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Suri the Lemur, from Disney's Dinosaur!

 

[raammartin]

News Flash, I've got a picture of Suri!!!!

Suri the Lemur, from Disney's Dinosaur!

 

[barbeml]

I'll take the challenge!

This thread is one of the most entertainng EVER!

Here's something that was posted on Defamer.com (I didn't see it here, but apologize if someone has already posted):

It's happened.

Somewhere deep within Tom Cruise's compound, one of the hundreds of bio-vessels gathered in the estate's silent birthing stadium has finally pushed forth into the world an offspring bearing enough of a physical resemblance to the actor (think the classic monkeys-and-typewriters scenario, but with stainless-steel turkey basters and female Scientologists in their prime reproduction years) not to arouse too much suspicion about the infant's true parentage.

In other words: The Miracle Baby has finally arrived, a 7 lb. 7 oz. girl named Suri, which we assume was the name of some futuristic seafaring vessel from an obscure L. Ron Hubbard novel.

According to a press release, "both mother and daughter are doing well." We assume they're referring to Katie Holmes, not the actual biological parent who's tending the child while Holmes tries to chew through her wrist restraints and escape during the bedlam following the birth announcement.

 

[powellrj]

Even DH who HATES this kind of entertainment stuff has gotten into the whole "where is Suri" thing!!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Since I am already in 3rd place for number of posts on this thread ,(did i say I need a life?) I am definitely IN on the Suri challenge.

I am half-tempted to go out to Colorado with my own camera, and wait on a hiking trail, hoping Katie,oops, Kate, will come along BFing, so I can snap a picture. Hell, I'll take a measley 1.8 million. I just need to pay off my mortgage, and cushion some bank accounts, buy a cozy DVC contract, and I am GOOD to go. Sorry Tom, but I'm not greedy like SOME people in the world.

Makes you wonder, if there are regular people joining the Papparazzi hoping to cash in.

 

[my4kids]

STILL SEEKING:

Short white female infant,biggish nose,and over sized gums. Big feet a plus!
Originally seeking newborn, but will settle for a furniture stomping toddler at this point. Child must NEVER have been photographed as we are still holding out for that $6 dollars, er, 6 million dollars as adoptive sterile, gay father will be reprising the old Lee Majors role in a made straight for PBS video in misguided attempt to resurrect what is left of crapola career.
Child must not cry too much as adoptive mother is not allowed to take any Tylenol for headaches. Child must also suck own thumb as the one and only pacifier is for adoptive sad, misguided, coffee guzzling new mother. Once again, have your people just call the nearest Scientologist Center as Oprah no longer speaks to us.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[my4kids]

Thought you might like this. The one on the left is from march 25 and the one on the right was taken on april.

That's just weird.

I am truly leaning to the theory that some scientolgy woman is giving birth and possibly still taking care of the baby in the early months (making sure they raise it nice and proper and scientolgy way) and that the father is the crazy head of the kool-aid patrol. I think the bra photo and all the others are staged (no woman in her right mind _or in Katie's case even her wrong mind) would ever not know the flap was open!!! Much less a woman being followed by cameras! I agree that she has the worn look of a post-pardom depressed mom, however I think that is the look of a woman being vigorously brainwashed.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

STILL SEEKING:

Short white female infant,biggish nose,and over sized gums. Big feet a plus!
Originally seeking newborn, but will settle for a furniture stomping toddler at this point. Child must NEVER have been photographed as we are still holding out for that $6 dollars, er, 6 million dollars as adoptive sterile, gay father will be reprising the old Lee Majors role in a made straight for PBS video in misguided attempt to resurrect what is left of crapola career.
Child must not cry too much as adoptive mother is not allowed to take any Tylenol for headaches. Child must also suck own thumb as the one and only pacifier is for adoptive sad, misguided, coffee guzzling new mother. Once again, have your people just call the nearest Scientologist Center as Oprah no longer speaks to us.

Okay, this scares me.

What, is Tom Cruise rumored to be doing a movie version of the Six Million Dollar Man??? Please say it ain't so! Even the rumor of Jim Carrey in the role a few years ago is more palatable, and even that had me shaking my head.

I loved the tv show as a kid and want to see a movie, but I don't want to picture what Oprah's couch would look like after Steve Austin jumps up and down on it with bionic legs.

 

[rhanditresmom]

You guys got me hooked....now I'll never get my painting done! My daughter will be so disappointed. "Sorry sweetheart, Mommy was reading about Suri Cruise! I'll try to get your room painted between updates!"


it could be that i need to get a life!

 

[CindyCan]

You guys got me hooked....now I'll never get my painting done! My daughter will be so disappointed. "Sorry sweetheart, Mommy was reading about Suri Cruise! I'll try to get your room painted between updates!"


it could be that i need to get a life!

Yep, that's me too. Here I am back to this thread, when I'm supposed to be painting! And I have company coming tomorrow, so could someone please just get a photo so I can move on? Thanks so much!!

 

[Daxx]

So, yesterday, DS9 and I go to the mall. In the mall, they have this Scientology kiosk set up. Gobs of L.Ron Hubbard Dianetics books, pamphlets, etc. I walk by (as it's near the Gap and that's where I was going) and the guy there says "Would you like a stress test?" and I reply "And, what, it's a thousand dollars to do it, right? Do I look like I have millions of dollars?" and he says "What does that mean?" and I said "Come on, you people charge a fortune to belong to your so-called religion! Do I look like Tom Cruise?" and DS9 says "Yeah, when are we gonna see Suri?" (Snaps to DS on his part -- he knows my Suri obsession!)

The guy was totally speechless ... but I read that Scientology article! I prob. should've kept my mouth shut and walked by, but I couldn't resist!!!!! DS and I just laughed about it!!!

 

[hentob]

So, yesterday, DS9 and I go to the mall. In the mall, they have this Scientology kiosk set up. Gobs of L.Ron Hubbard Dianetics books, pamphlets, etc. I walk by (as it's near the Gap and that's where I was going) and the guy there says "Would you like a stress test?" and I reply "And, what, it's a thousand dollars to do it, right? Do I look like I have millions of dollars?" and he says "What does that mean?" and I said "Come on, you people charge a fortune to belong to your so-called religion! Do I look like Tom Cruise?" and DS9 says "Yeah, when are we gonna see Suri?" (Snaps to DS on his part -- he knows my Suri obsession!)

The guy was totally speechless ... but I read that Scientology article! I prob. should've kept my mouth shut and walked by, but I couldn't resist!!!!! DS and I just laughed about it!!!

OMG! Daxx--You let us all down You should have taken the stress test and then some You could have come back here and reported everything to us. Haven't you ever heard of Taking One For The Team

 

[Beth76]

Do I look like Tom Cruise?" and DS9 says "Yeah, when are we gonna see Suri?" (Snaps to DS on his part -- he knows my Suri obsession!)

I LOVE it!!!!!

 

[bubie2.5]

I'll take the challenge!

This thread is one of the most entertainng EVER!

Here's something that was posted on Defamer.com (I didn't see it here, but apologize if someone has already posted):

It's happened.

Somewhere deep within Tom Cruise's compound, one of the hundreds of bio-vessels gathered in the estate's silent birthing stadium has finally pushed forth into the world an offspring bearing enough of a physical resemblance to the actor (think the classic monkeys-and-typewriters scenario, but with stainless-steel turkey basters and female Scientologists in their prime reproduction years) not to arouse too much suspicion about the infant's true parentage.

In other words: The Miracle Baby has finally arrived, a 7 lb. 7 oz. girl named Suri, which we assume was the name of some futuristic seafaring vessel from an obscure L. Ron Hubbard novel.

According to a press release, "both mother and daughter are doing well." We assume they're referring to Katie Holmes, not the actual biological parent who's tending the child while Holmes tries to chew through her wrist restraints and escape during the bedlam following the birth announcement.

You guys are killing me.

 

[FSUGrad97]

So, yesterday, DS9 and I go to the mall. In the mall, they have this Scientology kiosk set up. Gobs of L.Ron Hubbard Dianetics books, pamphlets, etc. I walk by (as it's near the Gap and that's where I was going) and the guy there says "Would you like a stress test?" and I reply "And, what, it's a thousand dollars to do it, right? Do I look like I have millions of dollars?" and he says "What does that mean?" and I said "Come on, you people charge a fortune to belong to your so-called religion! Do I look like Tom Cruise?" and DS9 says "Yeah, when are we gonna see Suri?" (Snaps to DS on his part -- he knows my Suri obsession!)

The guy was totally speechless ... but I read that Scientology article! I prob. should've kept my mouth shut and walked by, but I couldn't resist!!!!! DS and I just laughed about it!!!

That is TOO FUNNY!!

ETA: I have a trip next week, and I won't have access to the internet. I don't know what I am going to do without checking on this thread!

 

[rhanditresmom]

That is TOO FUNNY!!

ETA: I have a trip next week, and I won't have access to the internet. I don't know what I am going to do without checking on this thread!

You'll locate an internet cafe...local library...whatever and check in, of course!!!!!

 

[ChristmasElf]

Originally Posted by ChristmasElf
STILL SEEKING:

Short white female infant,biggish nose,and over sized gums. Big feet a plus!
Originally seeking newborn, but will settle for a furniture stomping toddler at this point. Child must NEVER have been photographed as we are still holding out for that $6 dollars, er, 6 million dollars as adoptive sterile, gay father will be reprising the old Lee Majors role in a made straight for PBS video in misguided attempt to resurrect what is left of crapola career.
Child must not cry too much as adoptive mother is not allowed to take any Tylenol for headaches. Child must also suck own thumb as the one and only pacifier is for adoptive sad, misguided, coffee guzzling new mother. Once again, have your people just call the nearest Scientologist Center as Oprah no longer speaks to us.

Okay, this scares me.

What, is Tom Cruise rumored to be doing a movie version of the Six Million Dollar Man??? Please say it ain't so! Even the rumor of Jim Carrey in the role a few years ago is more palatable, and even that had me shaking my head.

I loved the tv show as a kid and want to see a movie, but I don't want to picture what Oprah's couch would look like after Steve Austin jumps up and down on it with bionic legs.

I don't know if Cruise is doing a remake or not. I posted that as Cruise is trying to get more money for his kids pics verses Brangelinas baby.

Speaking of Brangelina, anyone notice how Angelina really looked pregnant,never looked like she had a beach ball under her shirt, didn't need to have her bra flap hanging down, and certainly isn't all out and about w/out her new baby??
Cruise has to realize what a mockery he is making of himself!

 

[FSUGrad97]

Originally Posted by ChristmasElf

Speaking of Brangelina, anyone notice how Angelina really looked pregnant,never looked like she had a beach ball under her shirt, didn't need to have her bra flap hanging down, and certainly isn't all out and about w/out her new baby??
Cruise has to realize what a mockery he is making of himself!

In Tom Cruise's odd little world, he's probably thinking he's normal while the rest of us are the weird ones.

 

[FSUGrad97]

You'll locate an internet cafe...local library...whatever and check in, of course!!!!!

I know...I 'll be sitting in meetings wondering how the Suri Challenge is going!

ETA: I read somewhere the Tom Cruise South Park episode will be replayed this Wednesday, so TIVO it!

 

[Poohy]

I am definately in. I am so addicted to this thread.