Official Desperate Housewives thread. Perfection not required. Mistakes welcome.

[ChristmasElf]

Orson first met Mike when he did dental work on him and he knows Mike's past. Maybe Orson confided something to Mike while he was working on his mouth, thinking at the time Hey, this guy is a prisoner, who is he ever gonna tell? (Orson was the jailhouse dentist way back when)

Or, maybe Mike was "doped up" on laughing gas for whatever procedure, Orson is blabbing all his deepest darkest secrets to the drugged up Mike so Orson thinks all will be well.

When Mike gets out of prison, and starts snooping around the neighborhood and only in TV land would said former dentist become your neighbor by marrying the merry widow down the lane, Orson knew he would have to remedy his past blabbing to the former inmate.

 

[RUDisney]

Orson first met Mike when he did dental work on him and he knows Mike's past. Maybe Orson confided something to Mike while he was working on his mouth, thinking at the time Hey, this guy is a prisoner, who is he ever gonna tell? (Orson was the jailhouse dentist way back when)

Or, maybe Mike was "doped up" on laughing gas for whatever procedure, Orson is blabbing all his deepest darkest secrets to the drugged up Mike so Orson thinks all will be well.

When Mike gets out of prison, and starts snooping around the neighborhood and only in TV land would said former dentist become your neighbor by marrying the merry widow down the lane, Orson knew he would have to remedy his past blabbing to the former inmate.

I buy that a dentist would confide in a convict... on DH especially!

 

[bubba's mom]

Pretty good ep tonight, eh?? Guess the answer to Alma injection question WAS hormones! "You raped my husband"...
Would love to "recap" some of the funny liners tonite-
Gabby..." ....pimply psychopath" (to Zak)
Bree..."what's a garden without a snake" (to MIL)
Gabby..."...pimping me out to a teenager..." (to Susan) and then Susan's remark "and you won't be wearing a bra when you ask him out"
Gabby (she's good tonite)...."kiss my esphogus"/"using your tongue as a windshield wiper"/"you just vacuumed my tonsils, I deserve to know where that mouth has been"
all
Glad Gabs and Zak "made friends", altho I still think he's "not right". Nice he was civil to Mike (altho he seemed "bothered" Mike didn't remember him. And I think Zak is being a "jerk" to Paul...... Thoughts on next week.....looks like they could be shooting from Marcia's home...looks like she's going to end up on bedrest (and who climbs a ladder in heels??? ) I think Tom & Lynette working together is going to be interesting.....TWO bosses?? Can't wait to see how it goes!

 

[ChristmasElf]

Last nights episode was pretty funny, hope no one missed it!!
But, in case you did.....here we go!!!!!


We open to Orson admiring his pearly whites. After all, he is the neighborhood dentist and they must always be in tip top shape. We are then treated to a few lovely shots of a few of the residents on Wisteria Lane holding there own yaps open for Orson to take a gander. Lovely.
Just then Bree wanders in with the suspicious teeth that she found over at Alma's. Bree thinks they should show them to the police but Orson convinces her that they should instead plant the suspicious teeth back over at Alma's and let her explain the teeth to the cops.
Bree leaves the room while Orson then hops on the phone to his Mother.
Mommy promptly denies any knowledge of any "plan" with Alma.

Meanwhile over at the hospital it looks like Jane will be leaving us. She is running a fever and not responding to any of the treatments.

At the jailhouse, Ian and Susan introduce Mike to the lawyer that Ian has graciously offered to pay for.
Later, Susan is displeased that this lawyer friend of Ians wants Mike to plea to a lesser charge instead of fighting for him.
Ian informs Susan that if she finds another lawyer for Mike, she will be paying for it on her own. Ian then leaves for a business trip to Montreal. (the Dr from the hospital has not called Ian to inform him of Jane's now grave condition.

Lynette is trying on work clothes when her son Parker walks in and tries to put Lynette on a guilt trip for heading back to the office. Lynette tells him that he is doing a good job of manipulating her telling the kid that his father has taught him well.

The little miss that Gabby and her fellow friend have been working with has now won the Little Miss Snowflake pageant. Yay!!! up jumps a jubilent Gabby as this will be great publicity for her business. When Gabby spots Zach, he tells Gabby that he helped the little girl win by bribing the judges. But he gave them cash, so no paper trail
Gabby is furious and proceeds to hurl insults like "pimply phsychopath" and "the only way they will ever be in a room together again is if he were to strangle a cheerleader and she were to wind up on the jury"

Alma arrives back at her home to find the front door ajar and Orson sitting in her living room. He confronts Alma with Moniques teeth and informs her that he has hidden them somewhere.
She tells Orson that she wants him back and threatens him with "what she would do if he pushed her away" Orson tells Alma that old threat won't work and not to cry. She wanted to have a baby during their marriage and when she lost the first baby they should have tried again. Orson reminds her that is the reason he STOPPED trying so he would not have to have stayed married to her.

Lynette is on her way back to work after 8 weeks at home recovering from the gunshot wound. Tom marches into the room whining about his manager of the new pizzeria quitting already. He now wants Lynette to help out by stepping in. She tells him No that her boss is waiting for her out front and that she has to go.
The next thing ya know she is on her porch wearing a sling and claiming to have "vomit residue" on her lip when the boss inquires if everything is okay. She complains about "pain" and that she needs pain meds. when the pills fall all over the curb, Lynette starts to flip out and cry (faking all this of course, as Tom has put her up to it.)
Boss then pulls away and Lynette thanks him for understanding. She will be back on the job next week

Mike approaches Paul Young at the jail. He tells Paul that he knows how Paul paid off the 2 inmates that attacked him. Paul confesses that he wanted Mike to owe him a favor and tells Mike that Zach is Mike's son.

Bree's MIL wants to come into the yard. "Whats a garden without a snake" When the MIL tells Bree that the church doesn't recognize the divorce between Alma and Orson, and that adultry is a sin. She tells Bree that SHE is the other woman and that Orson is starting to agree with his Mother on this. Bree then hoses down MIL's suede shoes.

Back at the jail, Paul is continuing to fill Mike in about Zach. He wants Mike to do him a favor and try to get Zach to come and visit Paul.

Back on Wisteria Lane, Susan asks Lynette why Gabby is getting more flowers. Lynette tells her all about Zach sending Gabby all kinds of gifts like flowers and jewelry. Plus the fact that Zach is now loaded.
When Susan hears that the trust fund had come in, she takes this opportunity
to try to talk Gabby into another date with Zach. The thought of this doesn't sit well with Gabriel and she refuses. Susan tells Gabby that Mike needs a good lawyer and that Gabby should do this for Mike.
Eventually Gabby relents. Susan tells Gabby to lose the bra when she asks Zach out

Gabby then shows up at Zachs house and seems fairly impressed that Zach has a recording studio in his house. She then informs Zach that he can take her out to dinner but there will be a few ground rules. She also tells Zach about Mike needing a lawyer. Zach then tells Gabby HIS rules about the date and ups the ante by throwing in a goodnight kiss on the date. If Gabby doesnt agree to this kiss, NO bail for Mike.

Lynette and Tom seem to be doing well slinging their new pizza slices at the fair.
Back at the Scavo house, Mrs McClosky the baby sitter is telling Kayla that she should be nicer to Lynette. Meanwhile the doorbell rings, and Lynettes boss is on the porch with a get well gift. The sitter lies and tells the boss Ed that Lynette is at the Doctors. He says Lynette needs to get well and that she can come back to work when she is ready. Kayla sneaks out the back door and fills Ed in on where Lynette really is.
The boss shows up at the fair and observes Lynette carrying a tray of pizza. He promptly fires her, reminding Lynette that she has been off for 8 weeks when the company really needed her. she grovels for her job back and Ed throws in a bunch of stipulations if he is going to have to hire her back.

Ian calls Susan from Montreal and tells her that Jane has taken a turn for the worse, and he doesn't think he will make it back to town in time. He wants Susan to head over to the hospital so that Jane wont be alone.

Gabby and Zach are returning from their date where Gabby has actually had a good time. When they get to her porch, Gabriel tries to shake him off, but Zach wants that kiss. Zach then proceeds to suck Gabbys whole face during said kiss. As they are struggling on the porch, Gabby wants to know what the heck Zach thinks he is doing sticking his tongue down to her esophogus.
When Zach tells Gabby that other girls say he is a good kisser, Gabby comes back with the line "what, girls you have paid"? This hurts Zach's feelings and he leaves. She feels bad as she tells him he has "vaccuumed her tonsils" but he still leaves.

Susan shows up at the hospital to see Jane. Erica, Janes friend is also there and chats up Susan by telling her about an affair that Jane had and how it hurt Ian. She tells Susan that Ian never really trusted Jane again and that things were never the same.

Lynette hand Tom her job application. She tells Tom that she wants to work at the Pizzaria and that this could be the best thing to happen to them. He agrees and they start smooching.

Orson comes home to see that Bree is not there. Andrew is sitting on the computer when Orson gets the phone. He responds to the caller with "Alma did what"? and leaves.
When he gets across the street, Orsons Mother hands him a fake suicide note from Alma who is laying on the bed. He sits down and looks at the note while Mommy pours him a drink. Orson wants to know why his Mother didn't call an ambulance. Another drink later, and ole Orson is now dizzy. He staggers back to his chair and realizing he has been drugged, he sees Alma get up and un tape her wrists. She is wearing a red nightgown under the robe she is removing as she then tells Orson that she is sorry about all this but I needed to get your attention. His Mother tells Orson that she wants a grandchild.

When we come back from commercial, we see Orson laying on the bed and Mother Hodge leaving. Alma now tells Orson that she has been injecting herself with hormones and that the drink had 2 drugs in it. One to put him to sleep and the other to keep "the part that she needs, perky"

Back at the hospital Erica steps out to call Jane's parents. Susan's cell phone rings and it is Ian who is worried that he won't make it back in time. Susan puts the phone up to Jane's ear for him to talk to her.

Gabby shows up at Zach's to apologize for hurting his feelings with the paying girls off remark. Zach tells Gabby that he has been paying everyone to be his friend, including his band buddies. Gabby tells him to stop paying people and that she will be his friend.

Bree finally arrives home and asks Andrew where Orson is. He tells her that he has been over at Alma's for a few hours now. Bree rushes over to Alma's dark house and finds Alma laying thisclose to the unconscious dentist. Alma tries to act like they have been caught and apologizes to Bree. Bree starts yelling at Orson to get up. When he doesn't move, Bree realizes that he has been drugged as she reads the 2 Rx bottles on the nightstand.
She screams "You have raped my husband"!!! to Alma who insists they made love and that she could be expecting right now. To which in turn Bree asks Alma if she was expecting this, as she socks Alma in the face.

Bree picks up the phone and calls Andrew, asking him to come right over and to bring the wheelbarrow!!

Zach is standing on the porch when Mike drives up. (In a new pickup ) Although Mike doesn't remember Zach, he is very grateful for Zach helping him by bailing him out of jail. Mike asks Zach if he will visit Paul in the jail.
Zach must have agreed, as the next thing we see is Zach sitting at a table talking to Paul. Paul wants him and Zach to be friends and he also wants Zach to lend him money so that Paul can hire a Private Investigator to find Felicia who Paul says has set him up by faking her own death. Zach tells Paul that he has a girlfriend who has told him that he should learn to say no to people when they ask for money. Zach tells Paul that he forgives him though, calls him Paul instead of Dad, and walks out.


Mike goes up to Susan on the street and thanks her for helping him get out of jail. Susan tells Mike that she can't talk to him anymore. Ian then shows up in a limo where Susan greets and then hugs him while Mike watches from a distance.

The show closes with Carlos and Mike drinking beers on Mikes front porch.

Next week: Orson telling Bree about the night Monique died.
Ian telling Susan that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and Susan asking him if he was proposing.
Gabby kissing another guy in her living room while Zach can see from outside in the street.
Tom yelling to Lynette that HE is the boss at the Pizzeria.
What looks like Bree, climbing a ladder in high heels no less, grabbing for a window shade cord and falling backwards from the ladder.
Orson on the phone to 911.

 

[DisneyFan06]

I am starting to really, really, really like this season. At first - I thought it was going to be dull or boring but it is turning out to be better than expected.

Bre isn't only a good cook, she is also a good fighter

 

[Wishing on a star]

Excellent episode!!!!!

Okay, the episode starts out with Orson inspecting his pearly-whites because the whole point of this is that, as a dentist, Orson KNOWS teeth... They make a big deal out of making that point.

So, just a heads up everybody, I am NOT so sure that those teeth that Bree found at Orson's ex-wifes were really Monique's teeth!

Could be more to the story line with that...
Maybe the ex-wife planning to use the teeth to convince Bree that Orson had indeed killed Monique. Bree continues to give Orson the benefit of the doubt. Exwife knows that if Bree actually believed that Orson was a killer, she would leave him. That is what she really wants to do is to break up Bree and Orson, so she can swoop in and have him back all to herself.

PS: I thought that the bad language when Gaby and the coach were talking about the beauty contestant girls was in bad taste and uncalled for. They really could have been funny without saying the one girl "had sparklers coming out of her a**". I know that Gaby has the BEST one liners!!! But, for some reason, that was a little much to me.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am starting to really, really, really like this season. At first - I thought it was going to be dull or boring but it is turning out to be better than expected.

Bre isn't only a good cook, she is also a good fighter

You sound like my DH!!!!!

He likes Bree too.
He loved it when he saw that punch in the previews.

He said, 'Yep, that's Bree, she's a good republican, has a gun... etc...'.

 

[gometros]

You sound like my DH!!!!!

He likes Bree too.
He loved it when he saw that punch in the previews.

He said, 'Yep, that's Bree, she's a good republican, has a gun... etc...'.

I'm enjoying Bree's, em, other assets now that she is oregnant

 

[KrnB]

I'm enjoying Bree's, em, other assets now that she is oregnant

My DH is too

Based on the preview, I guess we know how they write Marcia Cross' bedrest into the script.

DH and I got a kick out of Lynette's acting job when trying to get out of work for the day. That Kayla is a conniving little witch.

And OMG, I want someone to cut Zach's hair! It's driving me crazy!

 

[MELSMICE]

OT, but, KrnB your boys are adorable. Our "double trouble" DD's are now 14 years old. The time goes quick, enjoy every minute!!!!

 

[jedi_librarian]

My DH is too

Based on the preview, I guess we know how they write Marcia Cross' bedrest into the script.

DH and I got a kick out of Lynette's acting job when trying to get out of work for the day. That Kayla is a conniving little witch.

And OMG, I want someone to cut Zach's hair! It's driving me crazy!

Ooooh, I forgot. What was in the preview?

 

[Pollito916]

Ooooh, I forgot. What was in the preview?

If I remember right, she falls off a ladder.

 

[KrnB]

OT, but, KrnB your boys are adorable. Our "double trouble" DD's are now 14 years old. The time goes quick, enjoy every minute!!!!

Thanks! I think so too. I can't believe they're almost a year old already. Time does go really fast - something that I know every parent knows (DM's been telling me that for years).

I know Marcia Cross is not entirely like Bree, but it does make me kind of smile at the thought of someone like Bree having toddler twins messing up her house.

 

[jedi_librarian]

That's right! The ladder...

Does anyone else not buy that they reason Orson's mother is helping Alma out because of their "religion" that she's loyal to Alma because she's his wife still? I think there's something else to it. She's way too evil to blame it on her religious beliefs.

 

[ChristmasElf]

Thanks! I think so too. I can't believe they're almost a year old already. Time does go really fast - something that I know every parent knows (DM's been telling me that for years).

I know Marcia Cross is not entirely like Bree, but it does make me kind of smile at the thought of someone like Bree having toddler twins messing up her house.

Last week one night on Entertainment Tonight, they were interviewing Terri Hatcher who plays Susan. She was saying that IRL she (Terri) is the cook and Martha Stewart type, and that Marcia Cross never cooks, and that Marcia is nothing like the character on TV that she plays.

 

[bubba's mom]

We got a rerun tonight.....and, I'm hoping for one next week too....with SuperBowl, it might be a possibility..... (only hoping for rerun cuz we'll be in Fla.)

 

[bicker]

Sun, Jan 28 09:00 PM DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (rerun)
Sun, Feb 04 09:00 PM DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (pre-empted)
Sun, Feb 11 09:00 PM DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (#314) I Remember That
Sun, Feb 18 09:00 PM DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (#315) The Little Things You Do Together
Sun, Mar 04 09:00 PM DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (rerun)

 

[Dory's Twin]

Good to know tonight is a rerun...I have to go out and was going to rush dinner so that I could get back home in time...

I think that this is the first time I am happy it's a rerun

 

[bubba's mom]

Great episode tonight Mike remembers ....any bets who bites it next week?? I'm thinkin' either Orson's mom or Alma.....

 

[klj27]

Who was the actress who played the funeral guest flirting with Ian? She seems so familiar. Wait, was she in the sitcom about two guys and a pizza place?