Awww Dan...
This reminds me of a situation that happened in my son's 2nd grade class.
A little girl really PUNCHED my son in the head at PE. Mike and the little girl were both taken to the principal's office. My son wasn't hurt but the little girl was inconsolable. She was just crying and crying. The principal asked her to apologize to Michael.
Michael told the principal "It's okay. She just lost her grandma and that's a TERRIBLE person to lose...."
He later told me that God made him big so people who were hurting could use him to let out their frustrations. He internalizes NOTHING. I wish I could be that way....
Children react differently to pain than we do. They act out and want others to hurt like they do and can't express. Be patient with him, Dan. He needs a way to express his pain and you can help him with that.
A few years later my son lost HIS grandma and then 6 months later his grandpa. He was MY rock during this time, even though he was only 10. So far he's survived it but there are times, like holidays and birthdays, that it is REAL hard. His Dad is schizophrenic so I have to be all things to him. It's trying but he thanks me for it everyday.
Man, it's hard being a child and a parent when you lose a parent. I know you have so much pain about your Dad, too and it's hard to get someone you love so much thru it, too, but, believe me, it's healing for you, too.