Observed a scary situation

[So This is Love]

When DS was about 12 we were staying at WL in a courtyard view room 4th floor. He asked if he could go down to the pool himself, so I watched till he got on the elevator and then went back to the balcony to watch him. He was swimming for a while and then a boy about his age started talking to him and asking him to go somewhere with him. DS yelled up to me to ask if it was OK. I said No. All I could think was that this kid could have been used by an adult to lure my DS someplace. When he came back to the room I explained that I just felt uncomfortable about the fact that the other boy had just started talking to him and then wanted him to go somewhere with him.

Just another situation of people who look OK, but may not be.

At 15 I did drop him and a friend off at DQ for the evening and at 17 I let him take a bus to WL to transfer to DTD bus to go to DQ by himself while we stayed at HS for Fantasmic. He had to call us on the cell phone to let us know when he got to each place. This year he's 21 and we're going on the Disney Cruise for 4 nights and even though he is of age, there will still be rules to follow because I still feel responsible for his actions.

I was looking at your post trying to figure out why your son wanted to spend an evening at Dairy Queen (DQ). Oh, boy! I need to go to bed!!

 

[luvthemouse71]

Okay, so I'm going out on a limb here. When do you think it's okay to let your kids out of your sight? I'm really trying to give my DD12 (almost 13) more freedom and I guess I just need to trust that everything will be okay. I did let her sit by herself in the lobby at ASMo in August, and I also let her sit by herself in the food court while me and my mom shopped in the boutique. I even sent her into the bathrooms at WDW by herself occassionally, or had her wait for me outside. My point is, I don't think it's ever going to be the right time, but I can't keep her within my eyesight forever, and I certainly don't want the first time she's by herself to be in high school, so for those of you with older children, how/when do you let go?

It's a tough call. I was babysitting for family at 10 yrs of age(not for long, an hour or two) and for people in the neighborhood at 11-12 yrs. My cousins and I would get dropped off at the mall when we were about 12-13. I believe you have to take into account the maturity of the child and are they the type to remember what you've taught them. The things you've allowed DD12 to do sound reasonable.

The argument can be made that you have to start cutting the apronstrings at some point..scary as it is, the kids have to learn how to deal with the world.

I think as long as the kids know the rules, are made to check in every so often, and have proven themselves responsible in the past, then they are ready to have some freedom.

As far as the OP..We can't really know what the older gentleman's intentions were..don't forget ,the older people grew up in a safer, more innocent time. I have relatives who would think nothing of interacting with kids simply because they are nice people and would be saddened and disgusted that others would see this as a threat. My personal take was that he was just joking around. But, I can't fault parents for being protective either. I'm one of those people who is liked by kids, animals and old people. I've had kids come up to me and just start a conversation...I'm always very cautious when this happens and I talk to the parent as well so they don't think I have bad motives. I just find it sad that it has come to this.

 

[reginaastralis]

I came home the other night after getting myself sppoked at the local walmart. I am 24, and was out with my sister who's ten and my three year old. We were walking to the car, completely not paying attention to our surrondings. Anyways, a deaf man cornered me at my door, after I had gotten both girls in the car and put the groceries away. I never even saw him. He came up and stood between my door and the car next to me, trying to get me to buy some card with sign language on it. He was probably harmless, but he scared the poo out of me ... This isn't the first time I've had a homeless person come up into my personal space while in a parking lot at night in our town ... luckily I now have the phone number to the police team who patrol our side of town.

Needless to say ... I've changed the way I do a LOT of things. Including how I act at Disney. My daughter is starting to get more independent, but she's never allowed more than two feet from me. She likes to use her own stall, but understands why I say "Heck no". I also avoid going to stores at night anymore ... I no longer feel safe.

As a mother, I don't think the overprotectiveness (I'm making up words!) ends. When I told my mom about what happened at Walmart, she was even more freaked out. She wanted to go out and buy me some pepper spray, and have me take some self defense classes.

Sigh, times are a-changin

 

[aubriee]

I totally understand what you are saying here! We had my Grandpa with us (he is going on 80, and a retired lifelong school principal) and he stopped a kid (maybe 11-12 years old) coming off Mission Space and asked him how it was, was it scary?, nauseating?, etc. The kid looked at him like... and I had to remind him that this is not 1960 anymore and you CAN'T DO THAT!! He thought he was just being friendly...The guy has a Master's in education, but common sense...sometimes he just doesn't think!
I am not excusing behavior like the OP was talking about-I wouldn't want some strange person of ANY AGE approaching my children! Sometimes, people of the Greatest Generation forget that times have-a-changed!!

I understand exactly what you're saying. We just got back from WDW Sept 14th. We had my 75 y/o mom with us. She has to use an ECV down there, so we were always loaded onto the buses first. My mom must sit on a bus, but my husband and I can (and did) stand most of the time, offering our seats to older people and moms holding small kids. However, sometimes there would still be a mom holding a small kid left standing. I don't know how many times my mom offered to hold that kid on her lap. I always cringed, apologized to the parent, and reminded my mom that is wasn't 1950 anymore and you did not mess with other people's kids. She just doesn't get it. In her mind, she just wanted to help, but so many people looked at her like she was a pervert. If she had been an old man, instead of an old woman she probably would have gotten us thrown out of the park. She's one who would think nothing of offering a child a piece of candy.

 

[GovieMom]

She just doesn't get it. In her mind, she just wanted to help, but so many people looked at her like she was a pervert. If she had been an old man, instead of an old woman she probably would have gotten us thrown out of the park. She's one who would think nothing of offering a child a piece of candy.

What's really scary is that about half of the posters on this thread would have felt the need to call Security and report your mother!

 

[Bell30012]

MoreMickeyForMe, I really want to congratulate your husband on his restraint. I'm afraid that if an 18-year-old was trying to put his hands up my daughter's skirt I'd have had a whole lot of trouble keeping my hands off of him. Not that I encourage vigilante justice but I'm very protective of my daughter. Kudos to your older one for getting your husband.

I want to relate two quick experiences I had at WDW. I'm a single father of a daughter which puts me in a different position sometimes as it is. When my DD was 3 I had one of those backpack's with the leash. I had a lady, claiming to be a social worker that was really going off on me about this on a bus. I tried to ignore her but she wouldn't stop. At one point she put her hands on my daughter to remove the leash but my daughter hid behind me. When we arrived at the Magic Kingdom the bus pulled to the curb and two security officer led the three of us to an office. Statements were taken but really no action as no real crime committed, but the security officer said something that has always stuck with me. He said; "I'd rather see the child on a leash, than a milk carton." Oh, and Disney gave us a special fast pass to use that day to make up for our time loss.

The second experience was even more terrifying. We went to the bathrooms at EPCOT. After a few minutes she hadn't came out yet. I asked a middle-aged lady to check the bathroom for me. She said it was empty. I went into full panic mode. I literally grabbed a cast member in a panic and told him what was wrong showing him a photograph from my wallet. Then my daughter walks out of the bathroom door and the lady bursts out laughing with her friends. That ruined our day. Disney security gave us a ride back to our resort and the next morning we received a maps of the parks with all the companion bathrooms marked.

These did not happen the same year. Now my daughter has a Brickhouse Child Locator and I can pinpoint her location at ANY time. She is six now and we go to Disney in less than three weeks. I tell all parents that the $250 cost of the tracking device is more than worth it.

 

[julezdisney]

Please remember that for some people these companion restrooms are the only choice for them. They cannot use the regular restrooms due to space and assistance requirements. Please keep them as available as possible for these folks.

I was just going to say that!

I was looking at your post trying to figure out why your son wanted to spend an evening at Dairy Queen (DQ). Oh, boy! I need to go to bed!!

I thought the SAME THING! Too funny....

I understand exactly what you're saying. We just got back from WDW Sept 14th. We had my 75 y/o mom with us. She has to use an ECV down there, so we were always loaded onto the buses first. My mom must sit on a bus, but my husband and I can (and did) stand most of the time, offering our seats to older people and moms holding small kids. However, sometimes there would still be a mom holding a small kid left standing. I don't know how many times my mom offered to hold that kid on her lap. I always cringed, apologized to the parent, and reminded my mom that is wasn't 1950 anymore and you did not mess with other people's kids. She just doesn't get it. In her mind, she just wanted to help, but so many people looked at her like she was a pervert. If she had been an old man, instead of an old woman she probably would have gotten us thrown out of the park. She's one who would think nothing of offering a child a piece of candy.

That's what I was talking about in an earlier post.... *sigh* it's so sad, isn't it? I'm sorry, but working with the elderly as I do (and I'm referring to 65+) I just can't assume the worst about someone..... just be careful....

 

[julezdisney]

Bell, you realize people will flame you for admitting you let your daughter into the bathroom alone, don't you? Not me though-- I'm sure it's the last time you ever made that mistake!!!

That Brickhouse thing sounds awesome.....

 

[WDSearcher]

is still, after all, Walt Disney World.

I'm really annoyed by people who make statements like this. It's tabloid tactics based on nothing but the fact that there are a lot of kids at WDW and so, therefore, the place must also be rife with pedophiles. WDW is no more dangerous a place for children to play and enjoy themselves than any playground, schoolyard, mall, fair, amusement park or Chuckie Cheese's in the country. And based on the amount of security and the level of awareness among the cast a Disney, it's probably far safer than anywhere else.

 

[SuperTink]

By all means, teach your kids every sign of danger, every strategy for escape or attracting attention, that you will never be mad if they tell and that they should tell immediately...if not you, then another adult they trust. But never will I teach them to look at people like they are all potential child molesters or murderers. That's living in fear and I won't have it.

Totally agree!

 

[GovieMom]

WDW is no more dangerous a place for children to play and enjoy themselves than any playground, schoolyard, mall, fair, amusement park or Chuckie Cheese's in the country. And based on the amount of security and the level of awareness among the cast a Disney, it's probably far safer than anywhere else.

Have to agree again!

 

[HGD24]

I'm not sure I understand. If someone looking at your child while changing her diaper is traumatizing to her, wouldn't YOU looking at your child while changing her diaper traumatize her too? If not, why not?

I don't recall ever saying anything about it traumatizing my daughter. We just don't want some sicko to take advantage of the situation and get their kicks by seeing an infant being changed. Pervs look for every opportunity to get at least a glimpse of whatever it is that satisfies their sickness. We're going to do our best to not let that happen.

...Erm, I don't think that poster meant that it's traumatizing to the child, they meant they didn't want some sicko getting their jollies off on an eyeful. DH constantly picks up DD by swinging her up in the air and putting her on his shoulders, completely oblivious to the fact he's just flashed any and everyone her unders. I always am readjusting her clothing and reminding him to be aware of her covering. ...

Thank you Julez for understanding what I was trying to say. I have no idea what post lfontaine read, but it could not have been mine!

 

[happygirl]

It so scary. You don't want to teach your child to be fear every adult who comes into there path. However you want to teach them be stranger safety

 

[boardom]

We went to the bathrooms at EPCOT. After a few minutes she hadn't came out yet. I asked a middle-aged lady to check the bathroom for me. She said it was empty. I went into full panic mode. I literally grabbed a cast member in a panic and told him what was wrong showing him a photograph from my wallet. Then my daughter walks out of the bathroom door and the lady bursts out laughing with her friends. That ruined our day. Disney security gave us a ride back to our resort and the next morning we received a maps of the parks with all the companion bathrooms marked.

This is about the meanest thing I ever heard! That's such a difficult situation for a single dad, and to pull that is so cruel. What a lousy person.

 

[Disneyholic]

I do remember seeing a few companion washrooms.

I rememeber one in HS by the RnRC, another near the Backlot Tour/Food Area.

For some reason I can only recall seeing those ones. I'm sure there are more at the other parks, but just don't recall where.

If I remember correctly they are marked on the maps for each park.

 

[Sk8Leigh]

What's really scary is that about half of the posters on this thread would have felt the need to call Security and report your mother!

I wouldn't have. The difference between her and the guy in the OP's is that she was talking to the parents and not just reaching for the kid.

At one point she put her hands on my daughter to remove the leash but my daughter hid behind me.

Wow, the nerve of her! And that woman that was "joking" about there being no one in the bathroom.

 

[PilotWife]

Bell, you realize people will flame you for admitting you let your daughter into the bathroom alone, don't you? Not me though-- I'm sure it's the last time you ever made that mistake!!!

That Brickhouse thing sounds awesome.....

Hey Bell - and they will flame you for using the companion bathroom. BUT I have to say-my husband better use a companion bathroom when with our young daughter (3) by himself, my opinion is that, others who need companions can wait in a line just the same as the rest of us, while a father alone with children of the opposite sex takes care of their needs (hence companion).
I am also a social worker, and please dont let one woman claiming to be a social worker turn you against the rest of us.....mine have been on a backpack leash also!!!!!

I also wanted to say to everyone, that we teach and preach the stranger awareness, and yes there is a need for that with our children....but also do not forget about the people closer to home, in regards to family and friends hurting our children. I know we like to say there is NO WAY our family or a family friend could do anything like that to my child.....but it happens....and it happens at a much higher rate than the general public even knows about!


Jennifer

 

[PrincessKsMom]

The second experience was even more terrifying. We went to the bathrooms at EPCOT. After a few minutes she hadn't came out yet. I asked a middle-aged lady to check the bathroom for me. She said it was empty. I went into full panic mode. I literally grabbed a cast member in a panic and told him what was wrong showing him a photograph from my wallet. Then my daughter walks out of the bathroom door and the lady bursts out laughing with her friends.

I'm so sorry that some idiot would find this funny. It's just wrong, no matter how you look at it.

My husband was in a similar situation once at the mall with our daughter when she was younger. They waited outside the ladies room until he thought it was empty, then sent her in alone. After a few minutes she didn't come out. He was torn about going in or not going in and then an older woman came by. He asked her if she could go in and check on our daughter. She disappeared into the ladies room and came out a few seconds later laughing. She said (as if she were our daughter): I'm pooping and I'll be out when I'm done! Needless to say our daughter read my husband the riot act for sending in a stranger to see if she was okay and embarassing her!

It really is hard to have to decide whether to let them go in alone or not and terrifying every minute they're not in your sight.

 

[surfergirl602]

I'm surprised the mom in the OP's story didn't insist on calling security. A quick background check might have netted them a pedophile, or it might have scared the crap out of an old man. Either way, I'd be willing to take the chance.

Gosh, i would have probably called security first thing. Even if it weren't my child because I would have been shocked! I think everyone needs to be more cautious now-a-days. It's amazing how many parents I see just let their children run ramped. My husband and I don't let our girls out of our site!

 

[NMAmy]

This whole thread makes me sad that people are so paranoid now. There's a huge difference between an adult making chit chat with a child and trying to snatch them. It seems to me that one of the small joys in life--making small talk with strangers--has become so suspect.

I'm a kid magnet. Kids will always talk with me, climb on my lap--heck one little boy on a Friendship Boat tried to follow me back to my hotel instead of going with his mom. And, no, I didn't ask him to--we'd been talking on the boat and when I got off, he just followed me out. And, yes, DH and I will sit across the way at the interactive fountain at Epcot and watch the little ones play--not because we have bad intentions but because our children are grown and the little ones make us smile. Great, now I have to worry that people think we're pervs.

My best advice is to teach your children how to protect themselves. Of course, I'm talking about older kids. They need to gain confidence in themselves. I hate to think about all the 18 year olds that will be off to college in a few years and will totally be unable to function without Mommy telling them what to do and when to do it. Our purpose as parents is to teach our kids how to function independently. If we keep them wrapped in bubble wrap until they're 18, they're not going to have the confidence or the skills to do anything themselves.