Observed a scary situation

[Disneyholic]

And having rules for a 21yo on a cruise. Are you kidding me?

How will these kids ever function as adults on their own? Or will they not be allowed to be on their own until they are 40?

He functions quite well. If you read my response above it has to do with who he hangs with so parents don't get freaked out and accuse him of something he didn't do.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I was in line for the Dumbo ride and had been chatting with a mommy and her 1 1/2 year old while waiting. Nice lady! Her little girl threw her sip cup and the mommy turned her back just long enough to pick it up and again on the other side of the rope (older looking maybe a grandpa) said Hi to the little girl and asked if she wanted to ride with him. The little girl grabbed his hand and went right with him. The mother turned around and intervened but was very shaken that he would have attempted that. She said her daughter is not afraid of anyone and would go to anyone.

Reported him for what? "Oh Security! Security! This older man smiled and was nice to my daughter in the line at the Dumbo ride!" Come on. Really? Let's not forget that the mother admitted, "her daughter is not afraid of anyone and would go to anyone." Maybe part of the onus should be on the mother for not teaching her child not to approach strangers. But truly, do we want to start reporting every person who is nice to our kids? I can't believe that it's now not okay to smile at or chat with a child for fear of being thought a perv.

What didn't you read in OP's post? Mom turns her back, he initiates conversation, asked if she wanted to ride with him, then takes her hand (which she offered -- BUT SHE'S 1-1/2 years old) and begins to walk away. The thing I hate most about the DIS is everyone always blames the OP for everything -- IT'S NEVER ANYONE ELSE'S FAULT no matter what the situation. How can you place the blame on a 1-1/2 year old and her mom? How much about strangers and not walking away do you think a 1-1/2 year old is capable of comprehending? I'm sick and tired of worrying about offending strangers and putting their feelings first and being told to place the safety and feelings of my family behind that of strangers. No one said he couldn't smile and chat, but asking a child to walk away from a parent is incomprehensible.

 

[HGD24]

Seeing the posts about kids in their underwear at the fountains also brings up the point of changing kids in plain sight - a topic I've seen here on Dis before. You just don't know where pedophiles lurk and with technology the way it is, they could be hiding a very small camera in their pocket or hat or watch and very easily take a video of you changing your child. Please be sure to change your child in a restroom or if you have to change them in their stroller, go off to a corner somewhere and turn it away from where people can see. DH and I always change DD in a restroom, but have changed her in the backseat of the car a few times. One of us always keeps a lookout while the other changes. If anyone comes near, we say "Hi" to that person to let the one changing her know that someone is near.

 

[Jessfrogger88]

Years ago I worked with this girl that told me a terrible story ~ Her brother and SIL took their 3ish year old daughter to Disney and they were looking at goodies at one of the carts...they turned for a minute and when they turned back the little girl was gone. They immediately informed a CM who sent out word all over the park...since there is only one way in MK the parents were told to go to the exit and look at the FACE if every child leaving...just the face. Sure enough..a couple of hours later a man was carrying their daughter out and he had already cut and dyed her hair and changed her clothes. Just terrible. Ever since I heard that story it scared me so much that my now eight year old has never been in a bathroom without me. Not even a school or Brownie field trip.

Anything can happen anywhere.

Not to make light of a terrible situation or thread, but I have heard this story a bunch of times in different places... I thought it was an urban legend.

 

[MusiqChic99]

If I had read this before I was a mom I would have said something like well yeah he could have been a bad guy but good people exist too and he was probably just being nice.

Now that I'm a mother of a 2 year old son, I would have kindly but firmly told the man not to touch my daughter. Even if he was a nice man its not good to assume its ok for you to be THAT friendly with anyones kids. Now obviously I've been in line before and a child has started talking to me or my DH and we talk back but I would never say "hey ride with me" and then proceed to take the child by the hand.

I too watched the Oprah show about child predators. I also recently watched the 48 hour special on Shawn Hornbeck. And I know this to be true, I WILL BE THE MOST OVERPROTECTIVE MOTHER AROUND!!! My son is on the shy side right now and is attached to either his dad or me. In fact he reaches for our hand every time we let him walk by himself. And I do have a little monkey backpack that has a leash and I feel not one bit bad for having one either. Better safe then sorry.

 

[LoraJ]

What didn't you read in OP's post? Mom turns her back, he initiates conversation, asked if she wanted to ride with him, then takes her hand (which she offered -- BUT SHE'S 1-1/2 years old) and begins to walk away. The thing I hate most about the DIS is everyone always blames the OP for everything -- IT'S NEVER ANYONE ELSE'S FAULT no matter what the situation. How can you place the blame on a 1-1/2 year old and her mom? How much about strangers and not walking away do you think a 1-1/2 year old is capable of comprehending? I'm sick and tired of worrying about offending strangers and putting their feelings first and being told to place the safety and feelings of my family behind that of strangers. No one said he couldn't smile and chat, but asking a child to walk away from a parent is incomprehensible.

"went with him" and "walk away" I interpret differently. If he actually did "walk away" with the toddler, then yes I agree with reporting. However, If she simply took his hand after she reached for him first, then I say no.

It was definitely a dumb thing for the guy to ask. But I don't think it automatically makes the guy a criminal.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

"went with him" and "walk away" I interpret differently. If he actually did "walk away" with the toddler, then yes I agree with reporting. However, If she simply took his hand after she reached for him first, then I say no.

Thank God her mother turned around and he did not get the opportunity to "walk away". Maybe she should have waited and watched to see if he did? Why is the male adult in this situation not to blame. Do you also believe that people are not pedophiles until a heinous sexual act has been committed? After all, what harm is done to a child if someone is simply taking or looking at pictures of them? Do you see how you're blaming the 1-1/2 year old "after she reached for him"?

Damn right I would have called a CM and told them when my back was turned he tried to walk off with my daughter (he invited her to join him -- she did not ask him to take her away.) After that it's up to Disney and the local police to decide whether to press the matter. If asked, I most certainly would have pressed charges. End of story, don't care if he gets offended, my first and only responsibility is to my child.

 

[mickaholic4077]

Do you want my DS 21 hanging around with your 13 -17 year old daughters or sons? That is the kind of rules I am talking about. Don't need him getting in trouble because some parent thinks he is up to something. I met my husband, who was 27 at the time, when I was 17 1/2 and you better believe my Dad set down some ground rules for him if he wanted to date me. (By the way, we have been married for 36 years) DS is very responsible, finished school for automotive tech and works full time. He rides a motorcycle (put on 3000 miles since May) so, yes he is living a very normal & active life.

Sorry,I still think you are way overprotective. If your son,who IS a man,is living a normal and active life,he doesn't need to have rules handed down from mama on how to behave. Anyway,when you met your husband,you were a minor,and your father setting ground rules is way different than a mother telling her grown son what to do. JMHO.

 

[MOREMICKEYFORME]

Disneyholic- I am on your side.
I have done many vacations with extended family (especially cruises) and we have always set ground rules for neices, nephews, cousins, etc. who were over 21, but under 30.
Our family ground rules seem like they are for the safety of everyone.
- Do not get totally wasted...I don't want the drunk girl in my room! Not to mention the drunk girl who may go with Joe Smith to his room. (get the rule: they may be adults, but they MAY loose the ability to make wise decisions when on vacation or in a large partying group)
- Hang out with people your own age...like the above poster, I don't want a 25 year old hanging out in the club with a 16 year old.

These are just a couple of the major rules, but the gist is to protect them and the people around them.

There are rules all over the place for adults. Some are unspoken but there are still rules. I don't think it is bad to have them for your kid (no matter how old they are) if they are travelling with you...they are still your kid.

 

[jaymesmommy2004]

That is unfortunate that such a thing happened but most cases of sexual child abuse is by someone the child knows and often we tend to forget that. My son is 9 and my daughter is 4 - we have a park just down the block and on certain occasions would let them go down together. My son has a cell phone with GPS and he knows we check in with him. This summer that was changed when local teenagers started using it as a hangout since it was off the main streets. Now they can't go down without an adult. He was riding his bike one day and someone was walking the same way he was going towards our house instead of ignoring he took the side of caution and came right home. He did see the person go towards another house but didn't want to take any chance. He handled the situation responsibly but I am not going to lock him in the house because it happened. My children play out front together and ride their bikes even if we are in the house. My daughter is a very friendly person and is reminded not to talk to strangers unless we are around but there are times it is going to happen. The best thing to do is to teach your child how to react and what to do if they are in a bad situation. Scream, run, do whatever it takes to get attention. I was mugged in broad daylight in our lawyers parking lot across the street from a police station in a upscale city. Things can happen anywhere and after spending 3 years looking over my shoulder and not going places alone and having panic attacks when I had to I don't want my children living like that and will not make them scared of anything, everything and nothing.

 

[WDSearcher]

What didn't you read in OP's post? Mom turns her back, he initiates conversation, asked if she wanted to ride with him, then takes her hand (which she offered -- BUT SHE'S 1-1/2 years old) and begins to walk away. The thing I hate most about the DIS is everyone always blames the OP for everything -- IT'S NEVER ANYONE ELSE'S FAULT no matter what the situation. How can you place the blame on a 1-1/2 year old and her mom? How much about strangers and not walking away do you think a 1-1/2 year old is capable of comprehending? I'm sick and tired of worrying about offending strangers and putting their feelings first and being told to place the safety and feelings of my family behind that of strangers. No one said he couldn't smile and chat, but asking a child to walk away from a parent is incomprehensible.

When did he say "walk away from your mother?" I missed that part.

How much about strangers and not walking away do I think a 1-1/2 year old is capable of comprehending? Not that much. Which is why she shouldn't have been far enough away to have been able to walk up to a stranger and take his hand in the first place. So yeah ... some of it falls on the parent in my eyes. She knows her daughter will walk up to anyone and is not scared of anyone. Those are the kids you don't ever let go of in a busy place no matter what. Because they see all these people and they think everyone is their friend.

I'm not saying the man is without fault. I'm just saying that it's also not obvious to me from this description that he had evil motives. And I'm saying that a child that age should have never been able to get close enough to him by herself for it to have even been an issue.

 

[burberryplaid]

YIKES! I agree..very scary!

The sad thing is the pervs go where the kids are, happiest place on earth or not. When I have kids in the future, they are gonna be velcroed to me!

My DH read something online somewhere that said the pervs will often post online about places they pick kids up in..and that includes Disney parks.

Don't let those little ones out of your sites for a second!

 

[DizBelle]

We leave for WDW in 12 days. This time we are taking my sister and her 2 daughters 10 and 4. Mine is 10 also and has been driving me nuts asking to go on rides with only her 10yr old cousin. Boy are we going to have a talk! You think that just going on a ride everything is going to be okay. I have asked myself time and again "what could happen"? So I suppose I will live with an angry 10 yr old. Much better that then anything else.
Once while going on some of the rides in Fantasy Land I kept seeing the same man over and over. He really stuck out because his outfit was so colorful and he had some kind of toy hanging around his neck. He wasn't with anyone else and he just stayed in that area going on those rides over and over. We walked back through later in the day (3 hour tops) and he was still there. It struck me as creepy. Why would a 40ish year old man hang out in Fantasy Land all day?

I'm 38 and don't have children. Does that mean I don't belong at the Magic Kingdom?

 

[DizBelle]

Seeing the posts about kids in their underwear at the fountains also brings up the point of changing kids in plain sight - a topic I've seen here on Dis before. You just don't know where pedophiles lurk and with technology the way it is, they could be hiding a very small camera in their pocket or hat or watch and very easily take a video of you changing your child. Please be sure to change your child in a restroom or if you have to change them in their stroller, go off to a corner somewhere and turn it away from where people can see. DH and I always change DD in a restroom, but have changed her in the backseat of the car a few times. One of us always keeps a lookout while the other changes. If anyone comes near, we say "Hi" to that person to let the one changing her know that someone is near.

I'm not sure I understand. If someone looking at your child while changing her diaper is traumatizing to her, wouldn't YOU looking at your child while changing her diaper traumatize her too? If not, why not?

 

[mi*vida*loca]

We also have to remember that people are coming from different countries. It's not "weird" in a lot of countries for little kids to be topless at the water parks and such.

Trust me my first time at Typhoon Lagoon there was a whole family. The boys and father in speedo's and the DD's in just bathing suit bottoms. I'm talking kids in teh 12-9 range. I was weirded out but remembered that they were from a different country and it's probably very normal.

 

[Starlight792000]

Yes it would have taken me and security to get my husband off of someone who had tried to hurt one of our children. I can't believe he had the restraint. I would have pressed charges big time!

I am glad you came in time. !

 

[inkkognito]

This type of thread makes me glad I'm not a parent...I know I would be an overprotective type. I remember once I was waiting in the guest relations line at Six Flags Great America. A mom with a boy of maybe six was waiting in front of us. It was a long line and the kid was getting fidgety. He was jumping and bouncing around but not any more than you'd expect from a kid of that age. Suddenly mom pops off at him, "Get out of here! If you can't stand still, you wait outside for me!" And she was SERIOUS! She sent that kid outside, and the door wasn't even within her view. Just boggled the heck out of me...if I had a child I would never send them outside of my sight and outside of a building yet!!

I'm also glad that I'm female because I go to WDW solo a lot and would hate to have to force myself not to talk to kids so it wouldn't be taken wrong. Often a child will initiate a conversation and I love to ask them if they're having fun, what characters they've seen etc. Society accepts a woman doing that but of course if a lone man did it would be suspect (and possibility rightfully so). I'm just glad I don't have to deal with that.

 

[WDSearcher]

You make an interesting point. If the person who had smiled and talked to the little girl in question had been an older woman instead of an older man, I wonder if it would have been seen as quite the same. Yes, we all know that women do bad things to children just as men do, but men do definitely get a worse rap in that area.

When I read the initial post, I imagined a little girl walking up to a man who was there with his wife or family. She walked right up, not at all afraid, and he looked down at her and chuckled and said, "Oh ... so you want to ride with me?", the exact same way I do with my friend's kids when they let go of their parents' hands and decide they want to walk with me instead. I honestly could not see anything harmful or potentially dangerous in the scene the OP described. I guess mostly because the OP WAS describing it. She saw it all happen ... the child was never in danger ... the mom was right there ... the OP was also looking at the child. The child was never once out of sight. So to me, it was an older man who was surprised by a little girl walking up to him out of the blue.

Other people, quite obviously, added a whole other layer to the scene, immediately painting the man as a possible pedophile, lying in wait in the Dumbo queue, ready to grab the kid, shove her in a bathroom, change her clothes and dye her hair. I hate it that the times we live in make those types of thoughts that common.

 

[Sk8Leigh]

I guess mostly because the OP WAS describing it. She saw it all happen ... the child was never in danger ... the mom was right there ... the OP was also looking at the child. The child was never once out of sight.

She wasn't out of sight of the OP, but she was out of sight of the mom who had her back turned. There might not always be someone else watching out for her. The man might have thought no one was.

It's hard to tell without being there if there was something to be alarmed about, but since the OP was there and was alarmed, I think there might have been.

 

[Disneyholic]

Disneyholic- I am on your side.
I have done many vacations with extended family (especially cruises) and we have always set ground rules for neices, nephews, cousins, etc. who were over 21, but under 30.
Our family ground rules seem like they are for the safety of everyone.
- Do not get totally wasted...I don't want the drunk girl in my room! Not to mention the drunk girl who may go with Joe Smith to his room. (get the rule: they may be adults, but they MAY loose the ability to make wise decisions when on vacation or in a large partying group)
- Hang out with people your own age...like the above poster, I don't want a 25 year old hanging out in the club with a 16 year old.

These are just a couple of the major rules, but the gist is to protect them and the people around them.

There are rules all over the place for adults. Some are unspoken but there are still rules. I don't think it is bad to have them for your kid (no matter how old they are) if they are travelling with you...they are still your kid.

Thank you.