Not so "Wonder"ful Wedding!

[DreamsDoComeTrue]

This is funny. My Dad actually asked me to change my wedding date to accommodate his vacation plans (a road trip, nothing major). I told him not to worry, I would just ask my stepfather to give me away. Surprise, he changed his plans! LOL
Gosh, this memory is still irritating me, that he had the nerve to ask such a thing.
I do see a point in letting the couple decide. You should know them well enough to guess how they would react. Had my Dad offered me a cruise (plus airfare) for changing -had a change even been possible, I probably would have done it. I like tchrmom's suggestion.
We were adults getting married without the big family hoopla involvement though. So if there's any chance of offending anyone, and you won't lose a ton of money by rescheduling, I wouldn't peep a word about it and just reschedule the cruise.

 

[fortwilderness]

Speaking as a very recent bride I would say that there is very little chance that your niece is going to change her wedding date this close to the wedding. I don't know what type of wedding she is planning but I had the big hotel wedding and reception and had to book my wedding/reception over a year & half in advance. If I had waited one more day the grand ballroom would have gone to a different person and we would have had to settle for a smaller ballroom. Same for my photographer and videographer. I had to pay them deposits to hold my day for more than a year in advance or someone else would have. Heck I had to reserve my spot for my wedding cake from the bakery a year in advance too. If she is planning on having popular vendors in her area for her wedding she won't be able to change anything.

By the way my Land and Sea Disney cruise was indeed a wedding present. And even as much as I loved the present I wouldn't have accepted if it was in exchange for changing my wedding date. I think that being a bride makes you temporarily insane

Good luck

 

[I Luv Disney Cruise]

DH and I are coming upon our 3rd year anniversary in September!

If I had been offered to have my wedding date changed (practically a year in advance) and have my honeymoon paid for I would have done it.

I say make the offer to them and see what happens.

Hope things work out for the best! We will miss you if you can't come on the 5/17/03 cruise!

 

[ducklite]

I guess I'm confused about why you are mad at your relative for booking their wedding on that date. Did they know you had already made plans?

Personally I didn't feel the need to consult with any of my relatives, even the ones in the wedding party when choosing my date. I was more worried about getting the church and hall and photographer, etc. all available on that day. If they couldn't make it, they would be missed, but life goes on.

When you got married, did you consult with everyone you invited to the wedding before you booked it? Probably not. Personally I'd just rebook the cruise and be done with it.

As other posters have indicated, she's probably already got deposits on things, and it's going to take a lot more manuevering for her to change everything than it will for you to rebook the cruise.

Anne

 

[kidzmom3]

I don't think she is "mad" at the bride, just mad that the situation has cropped up and is forcing her to make some tough decisions. I see this in two lights: 1. a free cruise- wow wouldn't that be great!! THat would be a very generous gift. Would you normally give such an expensive gift, or is this more in the way of a bribe (meant nicely just couldn't find a better word) so you could still go away? 2. Its is true that it is difficult to book weddings and to take everyone's schedule into consideration is very difficult. However, the comment that it would take a lot of "nerve" to ask about a change bothers me. Why does the bride get to be a general and order everyone around but cannot be asked a question? If she can't change it, she can't. Why would it be sooo offensive to ask? I think that you will probably end up re-scheduling your vacation, sad but true. I hope that you can re-book and still have a fabulous time. You obviously care about your goddaughter and are just frustrated by the timing.

ps I have had to recently deal with a relative/bride who was unbelievablely demanding and it still wrankles.

 

[disneychic]

Joe and Joanne,

Don't forget to let us know what happens!!

 

[trishy]

Brides do suffer from temporary insanity when it comes to the wedding - I agree with the others who have posted that the bride and groom do not consult with every single guest when it comes to picking the date. Rational individuals understand this and cope just fine with the realization that some guests will not be able to attend. I would never demand that my guest rearrange their schedule to suit my schedule. That is extremely immature and in reverse, I would feel insulted to be asked to change my schedule to suit their's. If somebody's presence at an event is so important to an individual, they will discuss scheduling prior to reserving the event date. Even though it's a wedding, you should take into consideration your own personal feelings about what you are willing to live with. Can you be comfortable with the decision to continue on your vacation and miss the wedding? I have missed a dear cousin's wedding because of a schedule conflict and low and behold, I still get Xmas cards and invited to family functions. It happens. If you decide to go on your scheduled cruise, I hope you discuss this very delicately, apologetically, and soon - letting them know how tough this decision was. A free cruise to the couple is an incredibly generous gift that has *bribe* written all over it - works for me - but it's a tough call whether or not it will offend

Good Luck

 

[LisaFB]

Speaking as a bride-to-be, I say give them the option. When we were deciding on a date, we asked everyone who we wanted involved in the wedding what dates they could not be there (good thing we did cuz our first choice was no good since FH's best friend had antoher wedding that same day that he was in). If you decide to give them a choice, be prepared for them to say no, especially if this location has special meaning to them.

 

[My~Rumbly~Tumbly]

I think you should just call her, tell her that you have a cruise booked for that week, but stress that there is no way, no how, that you are going to miss out on her special day. Then blame one of us and say that we tossed out the idea of paying for the honeymoon aboard the Wonder in she could change her date. I agree with the one person who said you are taking the chance to offend your God-daughter. I presume you are close with her. Only you will know how she might react.

The flip side to this is that she doesn't change her date, you attend the wedding. What are you then going to give her as a gift? If you don't pay for her honeymoon after that, or give a gift of comparable value, it will then seem like your offer was a bribe.

 

[hokie5cruiser]

I had to add my 2cents... Change the cruise date. If we learned nothing from 9/11 we learned that life is too short and you never know what could happen. Family and weddings are more important than a vacation that is a year away and can be changed.

 

[ripleysmom]

It must be me. I don't see what the big deal is for anyone to change the date of a cruise (especially when it is so far in advance).

 

[RUDisney]

You must be close to your God Daughter and that is nice. My DH's family proclaims to be very close, but let me tell them what they did for our wedding...

We had everything arranged to have our reception and our shower at his aunt's restaurant. Everything was on course to be wonderful... UNTIL... dum-dum-dah... his cousin (aunt's daughter) got married 4 months before us and there was a huge fight at the reception... mostly among these "close" relatives.

We were worried that since our wedding was just 4 short months away that the memories of the last wedding wouldn't be healed yet. We secured another location for the shower, but everyone was booked for receptions. Finally, as a last resort, one of his uncles called his country club and the only Saturday they had available was on our wedding date! It turned out to be wonderful and a true fantasy wedding.

Here's my point... it IS hard to change plans when they've been established for a wedding. Harder, granted, at 4 months than at 12, but I agree with other's she may not be able to change her plans. She may also have picked that date for sentimental reasons. We picked our date because it was the week after Easter and we wouldn't have to buy flowers for the church, but it would be beautifully packed with flowers. Plus, our wedding date is a palindrome. 4-9-94.

We have had to cancel two vacations for relatives. Once was for my sister's college graduation and once was for my SIL's doctoral graduation. Significant events, yes, but IMO, not as important as the days that they got/will get married.

BTW, when I called his aunt to tell her we'd booked elsewhere, she informed me that she had cancelled our shower and wedding the day after her daughter's wedding. Just no one bothered to call us to let us know. Now that's family closeness at it's finest.

I'm finished now, and I'm sure that I didn't help you with your decision. It IS a tough one.

 

[Joe & Joanne]

Hi Folks

First, let me thank all of you for the suggestions. We will be seeing them over the weekend so I will have a better feel for this on Monday. When we were over their house last week we did not even hint at our upcoming cruise. You should have been in the car on the way home After speaking with her dad again, I find out that Steph and four of the bridesmaids did all the arranging and picked the date first from the CC where the reception will be. Normally, I think this would be a good choice but the funny thing is they went on Saturday and Sunday the 10th and 11th of May when we were on our first Disney cruise Mike (dad) suggested to Steph that we be in the wedding party after he discussed the details with her. He mentioned to her we are both "retired" (from the Air Force, not the work force) we would have no problem taking time off and I could help with the organization (huh)?

I think we will be buying another dress Positive note: Can wear new dress on new cruise Will see her and BF again this weekend (all the guys played golf last weekend) but will only discuss present plans as they are laid out now on her part.

Right now the thoughts are to rebook the cruise to the week after and split the honeymoon costs with BFs dad?

The plan: Call DCL and ask to add another stateroom at the onboard price (?) for the same date. In a few weeks, call DCL and move two of the rooms to one date (after the wedding, for our cruise) and the other room to the chosen date of the "happy couple". This way we get to go on our cruise (albiet later) and they still go DCL for the honeymoon, if that is what they want. They can go on the "Wonder" on sunday and we will go on the "Magic" the following week. Hopefully, we can keep our discounts and perhaps even get DCL to book us another cabin at our previously obtained prices with our onboard credits?

I miss anything?

 

[kidzmom3]

well you certainly sound like "wonder"ful people to offer this type of gift for a god-daughter. I hope it all works out for you. Good luck!! especially with the "orginization". I hope your bride doesn't lose her mind like my friend recently did. I read an article in Cosmo about "Bridezilla" and that is what I had to recently deal with. Good luck again, and happy cruisin'.

 

[Dave_from_Marietta]

Originally posted by DreamsDoComeTrue

My Dad actually asked me to change my wedding date to accommodate his vacation plans (a road trip, nothing major). I told him not to worry, I would just ask my stepfather to give me away.

<i><b>Ouch!!</b></i>

Originally posted by RUDisney

BTW, when I called his aunt to tell her we'd booked elsewhere, she informed me that she had cancelled our shower and wedding the day after her daughter's wedding. Just no one bothered to call us to let us know. Now that's family closeness at it's finest.

Quite a story!

 

[Joe & Joanne]

Hi Folks:Wave:

Well, saw the clan over the weekend and no mention was made of the Honeymoom by us. Steph and David are going to a Sandals Resort (paid for by Daves' Dad! ). They are not saying which one though

So it seems as though the plan will be to keep our reservations but change the date, probably into hurricane season but not for a while. Will see how things progress over the summer. As for me organizing (?) it seems as though they have a pretty good handle on the big stuff. I think I will do the aunt shower, and some other small stuff. The more I think about it the less upset we become, I guess it was not a big deal after all! Now to pick an alternate date.

 

[aprilgail2]

<<So it seems as though the plan will be to keep our reservations but change the date, probably into hurricane season but not for a while. Will see how things progress over the summer>>

Well at least since it is so far in advance you should have no trouble changing the date...I hate going to weddings personally so I probably would have kept my reservations and just said I couldn't change them (unless of coure it was my own daughters wedding but anyone else I could miss!)