Not invited to neighbor's party - advice please!

[krcit]

I would sooner stab myself with a fork then actually ask someone why I wasn't invited to a scared1: Reminds me of my single days. I had a friend who if she went out with a guy and he didn't call her agin, she would march up to him and say "How come you never called me?" Ughh. No way. Rude and makes you look desperate.

We have parties with our neighbors often. That doesn't mean that we all have to be invited to every party that one of us has. Sometimes we have a few different friends and will only invite one of my neighbors because of the 'mix' of people. Sometimes my neighbors just have there next door neighbors and some family. No biggie

 

[Limetree]

Posts like these make me glad I don't live in McMansionville Wisteria Lane.

 

[mjkacmom]

But, I do continue to see this as more of a neighborhood event with neighborhood kids involved.

Other neighbors were there. like the other next door neighbors.
And I believe other neighborhood kids were there.

.

Unless I missed something, the OP only mentioned one neighborhood family that was invited. So, if you invite one of your neighbor's family over, you have to have a block party?

 

[tlbwriter]

Posts like these make me glad I don't live in McMansionville Wisteria Lane.

Well, I can see the Wisteria Lane comparison, but we have no idea what type of houses these people live in - you can get a ridiculous amount of drama in McMansions or in a mobile home park, and everything in between!

 

[diznygirl]

Posts like these make me glad I don't live in McMansionville Wisteria Lane.

We have a Wisteria Lane in town. I've never been invited to a party there. I should be offended. No McMansions there either - it's one part of town where the houses are really close together. Closer together than even everyone already thinks our houses are!


I would NEVER assume I would be invited to a neighbor's party. Not ever. Even in our neighborly and nosy town.

 

[sparklynails23]

What does your husband think is making the neighbor lady jealous? Is she a frumpy house frau and you are not? Maybe she doesn't like her husband coming over to chat so much. There something she doesn't like about you or someone in your family, unless there's some other bond that ties those neighbors together-- a church, a community organization, etc.

Eh, you'll find your good friends. This neighbor lady is not one of them.

 

[JENOS]

Congrats on becoming the neighborhood crazy lady, I’m sure your other neighbors have already heard about your outburst and might start to distant themselves as well. I’m just saying!

 

[NotUrsula]

OP, face it -- you just burned a dang big bridge. If I were you, I would assume that all friendly contact with this family has ceased, and that from now on you can expect them to be no more than distantly civil. I would expect to see a fence company or some landscapers show up very soon to make sure that you can no longer see into their back yard. Yesterday they probably informed their children that they were not to go over to your home anymore, and the pillow talk the night before that was; "I think we're going to have to distance ourselves from the Jones. It's too bad, really; those are sweet kids, and Harry's a nice enough guy, but lately Judy has just become a nutcase, and the drama has gotten way out of hand."

The only way that you are going to live this down is with a full formal in-person apology, preferably accompanied by food. You still should not ever expect to be invited to an adult social event again, but an abject apology would probably keep the lines of communication open and allow your kids to still play together.

FWIW, the back yard "invisible wall" is sacred. You NEVER acknowledge being able to see over it when there is a social event in progress on the other side. (You can admit to hearing party noise, if it's too loud and you want to ask them to hold it down, but you never, never, ever make a comment about what you can see over the fence or bushes. The assumption is that noise travels no matter how hard you try to ignore it, but that you cannot see if you do not look ... or to put it more baldly: snoop.) There is a reason for that adage about good fences making good neighbors.

 

[BrightI's]

I am still that you had the nerve to approach your neighbor and demand an answer to why you weren't invited!

 

[lillygator]

no update?

 

[JessicaR]

What does your husband think is making the neighbor lady jealous? Is she a frumpy house frau and you are not? Maybe she doesn't like her husband coming over to chat so much. There something she doesn't like about you or someone in your family, unless there's some other bond that ties those neighbors together-- a church, a community organization, etc.

Eh, you'll find your good friends. This neighbor lady is not one of them.

It's funny but after I read the first post I got that impression.

The husband and daughter spend time at their house but no mention till later that the wife did also. The husbands answer of blaming the wife for not inviting them was also a big clue that there is an obvious issue with the wives relationship. It does sound to me like the wife may be jealous of the OPer.

In any event I would feel bad not being invited and also sad for my children since they seem to have a close friendship. I would not have said a word to them though. I do know that sometimes emotions take over before thinking things through rationally. Sounds like one of those times to me.

I hope the children can continue to have a friendship but it does sound like whatever your relationship with these neighbors was/is it will likely be over now.
Sorry you had your feelings hurt.

 

[Rora]

I don't think "chewing" him out was a good idea but what's done is done.

I would invite them. Or, if you don't want to invite them, at least invite the daughter.

 

[Ceila]

no update?

Would you come back to this thread if you were the OP? Of course, she felt OK chewing out the neighbor, so maybe she has much tougher skin than I do!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It's funny but after I read the first post I got that impression.

The husband and daughter spend time at their house but no mention till later that the wife did also. The husbands answer of blaming the wife for not inviting them was also a big clue that there is an obvious issue with the wives relationship. It does sound to me like the wife may be jealous of the OPer.

In any event I would feel bad not being invited and also sad for my children since they seem to have a close friendship. I would not have said a word to them though. I do know that sometimes emotions take over before thinking things through rationally. Sounds like one of those times to me.

I hope the children can continue to have a friendship but it does sound like whatever your relationship with these neighbors was/is it will likely be over now.
Sorry you had your feelings hurt.

I very rarely believe that whole "she's jealous of you" nonsense. That is something we all heard growing up when someone picked on you or didn't like you. The truth is- they weren't jealous. They just didn't like you. The husband chatting with the OP is not a big deal to me at all. My own DH will make polite conversation with people and I prefer to keep to myself if I don't like someone. It doesn't make me jealous. I just have less tolerance sometimes. Honestly- if the OP acted this nutty over and invite I can totally see why they weren't invited in the first place. YMMV.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Would you come back to this thread if you were the OP? Of course, she felt OK chewing out the neighbor, so maybe she has much tougher skin than I do!

Well we better invite her back or we might get chewed out too!

 

[manning]

What makes you think you are entitled to be included in anything? You just burned your bridge.

 

[tlbwriter]

Well we better invite her back or we might get chewed out too!

But if we do that, we have to invite her to post on every thread, or else we're saying "nanny nanny boo boo..."

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, was I right about the middle-school girls at the popular table.....

Some of you seem to be enjoying the judgment and the drama just a bit much, maybe????

Trying to draw her back in????

Going for ten more pages????

 

[Ceila]

Wow, was I right about the middle-school girls at the popular table.....

Some of you seem to be enjoying the judgment and the drama just a bit much, maybe????

Trying to draw her back in????

Going for ten more pages????

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much...

 

[tlbwriter]

Wow, was I right about the middle-school girls at the popular table.....

Some of you seem to be enjoying the judgment and the drama just a bit much, maybe????

Trying to draw her back in????

Going for ten more pages????

Or maybe just making light of an odd situation. And is trying to "draw her back in" to her own thread such a bad thing?