Not invited to neighbor's party - advice please!

[Sugardimples]

They don't want to socialize with you for some reason. They are not required to be your friends. Move on.

 

[lillygator]

I think it incredibly rude to march over and spout off.....

 

[Poohforyou]

I have to say I'm really embarrassed for you that you confronted the neighbor like that. Being a friendly neighbor and the kids being friends doesn't translate into being invited to a family party. Hopefully the DH will just let it blow over and not tell his wife.

It does stink that your child wasn't invited to the birthday party. I have to say my DD used to play with a girl that lived next door alot because she was available. She never really considered her a friend though (weird but that's how she felt).

Anyway, I had to strongly encourage my DD to invite this girl to her birthday because they played together. If DD had her choice she wouldn't have been there. Maybe the mom let her daughter have free reign of the guest list for her birthday.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am thinking the husband gets along with the OP's husband, and the kids like to play, but there must be some issues with the two women.

OP, for now, I think you just need to let this go.

 

[Mama Who]

I am thinking the husband gets along with the OP's husband, and the kids like to play, but there must be some issues with the two women.

This. The group of people whose kids I allow my kid to play with and the group of people who I invite into my home for a party are not identical. Frankly, the sort of person who chews me out for not inviting them is the sort I am going to continue not to invite.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Wow! I never realized that just because you get along with your neighbors and your kids play means you automatically get invited to any and all functions!

We are FRIENDS with our neighbors, and I mean CLOSE! They had a BBQ before their young sons school musical. We were invited to the musical but *gasp* NOT to the BBQ!!! How DARE they! I never realized I was supposed to march over there and yell at them.

Seriously, you were WAY off base to go off on the man. They probably think you're a tad bit off your rocker now...

 

[lizanne]

Have to chime in. While I personally wouldn't have said anything to the neighbor, I kind of applaud OP for calling out people for rude and hurtful behavior.

Did they HAVE to invite her family or kids? Certainly not. Should they have? Well if they were halfway caring decent people, I think they should have. Think of how hurt OP's Dd must have felt. She plays with the kid all the time...even right before the party and they can't invite her?

For gods sake, they live right next door and supposedly get along. If they were having strictly family, I could see it. But once you invite other neighbors, I think it is rude to exclude one family...who can probably see the whole party going on.

I have found over the years that it is always the same people that do stuff like this and people just excuse it or justify it.

OP...you may have made the same mistakes I have over the years. The mistake being thinking they were friends. They just showed you they only think of you as a neighbor. From now on, I would probably just smile and wave and not bother putting any more effort into the relationship.

I was thinking the same thing but it didn't sound right when I put it in words.

 

[Kasmooth]

Have to chime in. While I personally wouldn't have said anything to the neighbor, I kind of applaud OP for calling out people for rude and hurtful behavior. Did they HAVE to invite her family or kids? Certainly not. Should they have? Well if they were halfway caring decent people, I think they should have. Think of how hurt OP's Dd must have felt. She plays with the kid all the time...even right before the party and they can't invite her?

For gods sake, they live right next door and supposedly get along. If they were having strictly family, I could see it. But once you invite other neighbors, I think it is rude to exclude one family...who can probably see the whole party going on.

I have found over the years that it is always the same people that do stuff like this and people just excuse it or justify it.

OP...you may have made the same mistakes I have over the years. The mistake being thinking they were friends. They just showed you they only think of you as a neighbor. From now on, I would probably just smile and wave and not bother putting any more effort into the relationship.

I think the bolded is over the top!!

 

[Mama-san]

Have to chime in. While I personally wouldn't have said anything to the neighbor, I kind of applaud OP for calling out people for rude and hurtful behavior.

Did they HAVE to invite her family or kids? Certainly not. Should they have? Well if they were halfway caring decent people, I think they should have. Think of how hurt OP's Dd must have felt. She plays with the kid all the time...even right before the party and they can't invite her?

For gods sake, they live right next door and supposedly get along. If they were having strictly family, I could see it. But once you invite other neighbors, I think it is rude to exclude one family...who can probably see the whole party going on.

I have found over the years that it is always the same people that do stuff like this and people just excuse it or justify it.

OP...you may have made the same mistakes I have over the years. The mistake being thinking they were friends. They just showed you they only think of you as a neighbor. From now on, I would probably just smile and wave and not bother putting any more effort into the relationship.

 

[Gigi22]

Gosh! We don't invite neighbours to our parties, which tend to fall in the "family only" or friends from work category. And our neighbours don't invite us to their parties either. It's all good. We used to say that one of our cats attended more parties on our street (he was a very personable cat) than we did!
As to whether the OP should invite her neighbours (after having scolded the husband--how awkward) I can only repeat the old saying, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Does the OP wish to flatter her neighbours by imitating them? Or, does it really matter?

 

[handinpocket]

Really Klassy to chew the husband out. Really. If I were the neighbors, there would be no more contact with the unbalanced neighbor, jmo.

 

[Art 1]

Really Klassy to chew the husband out. Really. If I were the neighbors, there would be no more contact with the unbalanced neighbor, jmo.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Really Klassy to chew the husband out. Really. If I were the neighbors, there would be no more contact with the unbalanced neighbor, jmo.

Ditto. I can see being upset at not being invited but to actually be mad enough to confront them is insane.

 

[Dreamer8]

I don't really see what the big deal is about not getting invited to the party.. I don't think its the end of the world. There had to be a reason.. can you think of anything?

 

[FlyingDumbo]

I feel sorry for the guy next door, he seems to be surrounded by mean aggressive women. Probably gets blamed for everything at home too.

 

[ols386]

I think the op was very rude to walk up to the neighbor guy and tell him off just because they were not invited to the party. That sounds like something a 12 year old might do. JMHO

 

[mdsoccermom]

Have to chime in. While I personally wouldn't have said anything to the neighbor, I kind of applaud OP for calling out people for rude and hurtful behavior.

Did they HAVE to invite her family or kids? Certainly not. Should they have? Well if they were halfway caring decent people, I think they should have. Think of how hurt OP's Dd must have felt. She plays with the kid all the time...even right before the party and they can't invite her?
For gods sake, they live right next door and supposedly get along. If they were having strictly family, I could see it. But once you invite other neighbors, I think it is rude to exclude one family...who can probably see the whole party going on.

I have found over the years that it is always the same people that do stuff like this and people just excuse it or justify it.

OP...you may have made the same mistakes I have over the years. The mistake being thinking they were friends. They just showed you they only think of you as a neighbor. From now on, I would probably just smile and wave and not bother putting any more effort into the relationship.

Oh good lord. I highly doubt the daughter was upset. Sounds like the mother was more upset than anything. And if the girl was upset, all that had to be explained was that the neighbors had company and her friend couldn't play anymore.

The neighbors exhibited no rude behavior. The ONLY rude behavior was on the part of the OP.

Frankly, any hope of ever being invited to any other functions was totally dashed because of the OPs juvenile behavior. My entire family would have been mortified if I ever pulled anything like that. Of course, the high road would be for her to extend an invitation to the family to her party, but she should not be surprised if they don't come.

 

[OceanAnnie]

What's done is done. You invited them. Now let the chips fall where they may.

I understand your feelings. Inviting every one of your neighbors but you was sending you a message. Right or wrong, they now know their message was received.

In the long run, you both probably just want peace. Be cordial. Hopefully they will be too. Hope it all works out.

 

[luvmy3]

Judging by the OPs behavior towards the neighbor for not inviting her, I would say they probably have a reason not to. I'm betting there is a history.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Judging by the OPs behavior towards the neighbor for not inviting her, I would say they probably have a reason not to. I'm betting there is a history.

I don't know. They aren't good enough to be invited to the neighbor's party. But she's good enough to watch the neighbor's kids while they prepare for that party. I'm thinking it must be something else.