Not going to Disney... :-(

[baby1disney]

This has got to be one of the most depressing things to happen to me lately. My son and I aren't going to Disney due to the separation of me and my husband.

I never thought I would ever imagine myself in this situation My husband has a severe anger problem and this past weekend it went too far. Now his family is mad at me for kicking him out..but I had to do it for the safety of me and my son.

So..I'm hoping to plan a trip next year for us..just me and my son.

Sorry to be such a downer but I just needed to vent some place. Thanks for listening..um reading...

 

[Lisa S.]

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. . .but kudos to you for doing the right thing for you and your son. Hang in there.

 

[WebmasterJohn]

So sorry to hear this. from Florida!!

 

[basketlacey]

Big hugs and prayers for you and your family! Hang in there and hopefully by this time next year you and your son will be in a great place and ready to take on the Mouse!

 

[Applemomma]

I'm sorry this is happening to you and your son. Start saving now and I'm sure when you do get there it will be a huge accomplishment to celebrate that you've proven to yourself that you are a strong woman!

 

[bear_mom]

Hugs and prayers for you and your son. Hopefully the two of you can enjoy a better trip to the world next year.

Emily

 

[bootc3]

Good Luck and God Bless!

 

[Minnie J]

I'm sorry this is happening to you and your son. Start saving now and I'm sure when you do get there it will be a huge accomplishment to celebrate that you've proven to yourself that you are a strong woman!

I agree with this!! Start saving now and later on when everything is settled a bit you and your son will have a blast and it'll be good for him to get away to a happy place

 

[baby1disney]

Thank you everyone for the hugs and well wishes!! I'm seriously thinking of maybe doing like 4/5 day on our Xmas break!! We'll both be off for at least two weeks and this could be our Xmas presents together!! I'll have to see how things work out.

 

[Mrs D]

Thank you everyone for the hugs and well wishes!! I'm seriously thinking of maybe doing like 4/5 day on our Xmas break!! We'll both be off for at least two weeks and this could be our Xmas presents together!! I'll have to see how things work out.

I think that sounds like a great idea! Save your pennies and you'll be there before you know it!

 

[NitroStitch]

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all you've had to go through already, and I'm sorry you aren't going to get the Disney vacation you were looking forward to in the short term. You've done something that's really tough to do, but you and your son will have a wonderful trip when you do go. I hope it's sooner rather than later.

It takes a lot of courage to make the decisions you've made, and I'm sending lots of hugs and pixie dust for you to be strong and for life to keep getting better every day. When you and your son go to Disney, you can celebrate the joy that's often hard to find when there's a dark cloud over your life.

Take good care of yourself and your son and know there are lots of people pulling for you.

 

[kbelle8995]

You're an incredibly strong woman who is doing what is best. For yourself and your son.

Hang in there.

 

[kaligal]

Being free of an angry and abusive man in the household is better than any trip to Disney will ever be.

If you get there again soon, great. If you don't, you're still better off than you were.

Congrats on doing the scary, but sensible thing. Don't back down.

Good luck!

 

[Stacy's a freak]

Wishing you continued strength and we're all behind you! Vent away whenever you need

 

[baby1disney]

Thank you everyone for the encouragement!! It's very hard right now because of so many reasons.

He(DH)is going to get some help finally. He knows that there is NO WAY I'm taking him back..even if he gets help. I just can't afford for him to be back in our lives months from now and he have a relaspse and next time it's worse.

I feel like I need to say what happened: I had just gotten home from work on Saturday night and we were talking about where to grab some dinner from somewhere. My son..who's 8yrs old..was being a kid..and said that we better plug our noses because he had to pass gas. And when he did that..he threw my child across the floor. It was only maybe a foot or two..but still. I told him that I didn't care if it was an inch..a foot..10 feet..there was NO reason that a grown man should touch a child in that way!!! He was just being a child.

He tried to say that it was an accident and that the reason he got so mad is because DS passed gas where he sleeps(DH and I haven't slept in the same room since Feb)and that it was disrespectful. I told my son five mins later to get his clothes on..we were leaving.

Needless to say..I called my dad and the cops. My dad threaten him...like any parent would do if their child and grandchild were in trouble. According to the cops(based on what DH and MIL said) the cops believed him..saying that it was an accident and that my son probably fell on his own. I actually believed that because the cops came over to my place first and they acted like that I had made it more worse than it actually was. Like I said..I DON'T CARE HOW FAR YOU THREW MY CHILD!!! That's MY CHILD and I'll be D@#$ED IF I'M GOIN TO LET SOME MAN DO THAT TO HIM!!

So now the family hates me because I kicked him out. They told me that I was in the wrong and that it was an accident and I should forgive him!! I know that's their son/brother..but if that was my son and he did that to his wife and stepchild..I would NOT defend him for one second..even if he is truly sorry for what happened. Aren't most abusers that way?? He was verbally and mentally abusive towards us and I just couldn't take it anymore. The family has called me some bad names(I'm Black and he's White..take it from there) and I just can't do it anymore.

I've done nothing but cry and be angry since this has happened. I'm crying right now just thinking about everything. Did I do the right thing? Was it as bad as I made/make it out to be?? What if he does get help..should I take him back?? These are all questions that I've been thinking about. Also..what did I do that I deserve for his family to call me the names they have and treat me like I did this?? I'm so pissed and hurt right now because I had no problem with his family til now. My son has lost his grandparents/aunt/uncle/cousin because of this. Am I really a bad person for doing this?? I'm sorry if things don't seem to make sense..but I'm trying to type thru tears and my eyes are a lil blurry..lol.

Thanks again for letting me vent. They don't come on here and I just felt this is one place I can say how I feel without worring about what they're gonna say...

 

[NitroStitch]

I am SO sorry for all of what you and your son are going through! I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, and it is a sensitive subject to me, as I have been in abusive relationships before. I made far too many excuses for the behavior of those individuals, and I accepted far too many empty apologies that were usually followed up by more of the same (and escalating) behavior.

It's probably not very surprising that your husband's family sided with him, both because he's family and quite possibly he was raised with the same sort of physical and emotional behavior he's shown you and your son. Many abusers apologize and say their behavior was accidental. Maybe if they get help, much longer down the road, the behavior will change. Maybe it's too ingrained in them for them to change. Whatever the case with your husband, it seems to me that your protection of your son and yourself is the right thing to do. You know that physical marks aren't required for behavior to be wrong.

It's so sad that his family has used (I'm assuming from your description) racial names and has said other nasty things about you as a result of you protecting yourself and your child. That shows THEIR character and not yours. As for your son losing much of his known family as a result, I fully subscribe to what Dr. Phil says - children would rather be from a broken home than in one. I grew up with mental and some physical abuse from my family, and truly wish we had not grown up in that situation. It changed who I am and it changed the choices I made in men later on in life.

You are a strong, amazing woman to make the decision to end your husband's mental and physical abuse! Please don't doubt yourself because of what your husband and your husband's family has said. If your community has any sort of domestic violence organization to help counsel you and your son, please seek them out. They can help support you as you go through everything that comes next, and they can reinforce your decision to do what's best for you and your son. Vent all you need here! You'll find lots of welcoming people and lots of hugs.

I applaud you for being strong and standing up for your son and yourself! Try to stay strong and seek out the support and comfort of those people who believe in you and who lift you up! It'll be tough, but the freedom and the happiness you will find at the end of this struggle will be SO worth it.

 

[disneygirl 17]

You did the right thing - your #1 job is to be a Mom and protect your son.

As for "it was an accident" - if your DH treated you and your son as he should....you would have known it was an accident. It would have never crossed your mind that it wasn't.

 

[lucky978]

I agree with previous posters - you have done the right thing to protect your #1 priority, your son. He will be a better man when he is older because of the positive changes you have made in your lives.

The feelings you are having now are part of the healing process. You sound very strong and need to know what you did was right.

Obviously there have been other issues in the marriage? I ask because you say you haven't slept in the same room for many months.

Stay strong. And vent away any time you need to.

 

[Kimberle]

You are doing the right thing. Your child should not be around an abusive parent. Abused children often grow up to repeat. {{hugs}} to you as you and your son heal. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[lugnut33]

you are going through some very heavy stuff and I implore you to stay strong through it. Do not have a weak moment, it will only make things worse. There is absolutely no way he should ever lay a hand on you or your child. Good luck