Not going to Disney... :-(

[Luv2Camp]

I'll be praying for you and your son. You did the right thing. The most important thing in life is the happiness and well-being of your son. Stay strong - You both will be ok.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

Making a decision to end a relationship in order to be safe and keep your child safe, is not only brave, but an absolute. Good for you for ending a relationship like this. I wish you well as you and your child move forward.

 

[wishspirit]

Stick with your gut, and stay strong. Sending all my best thoughts to you and your son.

 

[RachelsMommie]

Good for you for putting your son first. It takes SO much courage to leave a marriage and imagine your life so much different. There are a LOT of moms out there that wouldn't do the same for their child. Kudos for being strong enough to do the right thing for your son.

I know you'll do this, but make sure he doesn't think this is his fault. I'm sure you're giving him lots of love and hugs...just keep loving on your DS so that the cycle doesn't continue with him.

 

[LilRonGal]

You are doing what any good mom would do--protecting your son first and foremost. You're incredibly strong and amazing.

 

[dansyr2514]

Vent all you want and I suggest getting a good support group around you that you can talk to or talking to a therapist. People like this tend to try to make you believe it is your fault that this is happening. You seem like a very strong person but in weak moments we can doubt ourselves. Remember that you are not in the wrong for doing the best thing for your child.
Although it is tough now to give up that Disney trip...in a yr you will be in a much better place and will be able to really enjoy and appreciate it.

Sending hugs your way!

 

[baby1disney]

Thank you EVERYONE for the hugs..love..pixie dust..and everything else!!! Reading thru some of the posts I've lost it..lol. I've always known that this board is very kind and supportive..but I guess I never thought that you guys would be this way towards me. I guess I need to quit doubting myself and start believeing(sp?) that I'm stronger than what I see myself as right now.

He and his family has now had a change of heart and want to me and my son to go on this trip now. He says that this will prove he's a changed man..since he'll have gone to a couple of therapy sessions by the time they leave. I told him that I don't feel comfortable being that far away from home and if someone says something that I didn't like or treated me a certain way...I want to leave. I don't wanna waste my money like that. All of them are making promises that I know they can't keep.

I swear this whole FAMILY IS BIPOLAR!!! One minute they hate me..the next they love me and this ISN'T my fault..but can't I please just remember the good times ans work this out??? NO!! I've told them that I DO remember the good times and this is one of the reasons why this is SOO hard to do. But..the bad outweigh the good unfortunately..and I can't continue living my life like this.

If I go and things are great, that's just gonna give him hope that we'll get back together. He and I are over and there is no getting back together. I know he's gonna get help and I'm very happy that he's gonna do that because he needs to, but we can try and have a friendship later on down the road...but absolutely no marriage.

Thanks for all of the advice on finding places that will let me talk about this kind of thing. Thanks for letting me use this board as a place for me to vent as well. YOU have NO IDEA how much this helps me!! Sorry..crying again...LOL

 

[Dian-er]

Please consider getting some counseling for you & your son. You both need some support. Try your pastor if you have one, there are, also, support groups for women & children going through what you are. Don't listen to his family. He, obviously, isn't taking responsibility for his actions/behavior & not telling the whole story to them. Your first responsibility is to your child, keeping him safe, then to yourself, certainly not to his family. Don't let them make you feel guilty. You did the right thing!
So sorry you had that happen, Diana

 

[Cherinva]

There is NO reason to raise a hand to a child in anger....

Only you can decide if what you did is right...weigh the odds....if you are unhappy with the relationship then it's better to part ways...a child does not need to be in a home filled with anger...and if he does get help...GREAT...but in the mean time, you need to take care of yourself and your son....put your selves FIRST...

I'm so sorry this happened to you....my DBF also has anger issues, so I understand....he is on thin ice right now..

My thoughts are with you....be strong

 

[sjsjbrook]

HUGS....... be really careful about the choices you make about going to Disney with them.
Make sure you are ready for them, and make sure you have money in your name. His family will always be in his corner no matter what, just likeyour will always be in yours.

Keep you head held high and remember the best path to take isn't always the easiest.

 

[Stacy's a freak]

I echo everyone else's sentiments - you are a strong lady!

I also think that continuing with your vacation plans with your son's dad is a risky situation. Of course it is possible that you will be away from home (and isolated from helpful family) if an incident happens. But another possibility is that you could actually have a GOOD time without an incident which could be even more confusing and problematic for everyone involved. When the real world is put on hold as it often is on vacation, it can cause a false sense of security or an elevated sense of happiness. You know how a Mickey bar tastes so much better in the parks than a dove bar from Walmart? It sort of the same thing. The same ingredients can taste so much better when surrounded by a fun fantasy world.

So if everyone gets along well, your son might wonder why you made this decision, your son's father might have more "grounds", if you will, to plead his case, and you might begin to doubt your gut instincts.

Just think carefully about that vacation choice

 

[baby1disney]

I'm not going to Disney with them. I've thought about this long and hard and came to the conculsion that all it would do is give him hope that we'll get back together and that's just not happening.

I know it's going to be a long,hard road to travel down..but I'm ready for it. I have alot of support from family and friends as well as on here I'm finding out!!

Today is not so bad so far. Went and visited a friend for about an hour and that was good therapy.

Thanks again for all of the thoughts and hugs!! I really need those right now!!

 

[NitroStitch]

I must admit, I'm relieved to hear that you've decided not to go with them to Disney. For the reasons the above poster mentioned, it seems much safer for many reasons to wait and go to Disney with your son after a bit of dust has settled. It would be a far happier and safer trip, and it can be a celebration of all you've gone through and have put behind you.

This road you're on is a rough one, but it's also the right one. I'm so glad you have some friends nearby to help, and we are all here to listen and support you too. Keep yourself and your son safe and keep strong - you are doing such a brave thing, and the best in life is to come. Sometimes it seems easier to stick with the "devil you know" instead of the unknown. You'll probably be surprised at how much better the unknown is, once the scary, unpredictable person is out of your lives.

Sending more hugs and pixie dust to you and your son. You will have a wonderful trip to Disney with your son - it will just take a bit longer to get to that trip, but will be SO worth the wait!

 

[Cherinva]

I'm not going to Disney with them. I've thought about this long and hard and came to the conculsion that all it would do is give him hope that we'll get back together and that's just not happening.

I know it's going to be a long,hard road to travel down..but I'm ready for it. I have alot of support from family and friends as well as on here I'm finding out!!

Today is not so bad so far. Went and visited a friend for about an hour and that was good therapy.

Thanks again for all of the thoughts and hugs!! I really need those right now!!

I think you've made the right decision....just starting saving your money and take a trip with just you and your son.....I think you will have a much better time. Best wishes to you.

 

[jodeja]

Being free of an angry and abusive man in the household is better than any trip to Disney will ever be.

If you get there again soon, great. If you don't, you're still better off than you were.

Congrats on doing the scary, but sensible thing. Don't back down.

I totally agree! This was very well said by the pp.