Non-school Coaches asking to see kids' grades?

[ADisneyQueen]

I'm the OP-to clear some things up:
This is not a huge sports league. Without giving away too much personal info, there are two groups of kids with about 14 in each group. The younger group (my dd is not in this one) was not asked to bring in progress reports/report cards. The older ones were by the director and 2 coaches. The group started in Sept., the whole report card thing was brought up in Dec. through a group email. No one signed anything or were told anything at the beginning of the year. I actually do not think they will press the issue if someone does not bring one in. Another reason I think it is a bad idea is that the kids will bring in the report card and all the other kids will ask that child if they can see it. That can be a problem for kids with lower grades and the one with straight As ( teasing). That is one of the reasons our district sends report cards through the mail. I don't want other adults discussing my child's grades unless they work for the school. There is too much gossip.

 

[luvmy3]

Just a quick question for those pp's whose children are in a sports program where they sit oout for bad grades, how long do they sit out for? Is it just the one practice/class/game/meet that is scheduled the night they bring the report card in? Is it for the whole quarter until they get their next report card?

 

[jrmasm]

I'm the OP-to clear some things up:
This is not a huge sports league. Without giving away too much personal info, there are two groups of kids with about 14 in each group. The younger group (my dd is not in this one) was not asked to bring in progress reports/report cards. The older ones were by the director and 2 coaches. The group started in Sept., the whole report card thing was brought up in Dec. through a group email. No one signed anything or were told anything at the beginning of the year. I actually do not think they will press the issue if someone does not bring one in. Another reason I think it is a bad idea is that the kids will bring in the report card and all the other kids will ask that child if they can see it. That can be a problem for kids with lower grades and the one with straight As ( teasing). That is one of the reasons our district sends report cards through the mail. I don't want other adults discussing my child's grades unless they work for the school. There is too much gossip.

Is it a team that has tryouts? Or a rec team where they take everyone?

 

[MM27]

I teach 4th grade and always have paperwork coming in from the Little League or Pop Warner coaches regarding student grades. Even though they are not school santioned sports, it's nice to see that the coaches think that it's important for the kids to be doing well in school first.

This year I have a few boys that are in martial arts and their Sensei not only asks for updates, but he does surprise visits to the classroom. He wants to make sure they carry over the discipline that he is teaching them in his class to their academic classes. It's great. He gave me his cell phone number during our first parent/teacher conferences in November. I have a couple of boys that are real behavior problems and all I have to say is, "Should I call Sensei?" and they shape up. My principal is 100% in favor of this involvement.

 

[clovergirl5]

I love coaches like this!



That is how it should be!

Both of my boys have played sports every year.
The coaches that choose to ask for grades are the ones that really care, and are teaching the kids that when you get older in order to be academically eligible for sports your grades must be passing. It doesn't mean all A's but it just means grades above F's or D's.
In Grid kids (football) last fall my son was benched 2 games because he was always forgetting his home work. After he realized his coach was serious he has not forgotten his homework, or complained about reading in the evenings. He would rather play sports that he is in that sit and watch his team mates play.

I tend to agree with this although I do see op's point of view.
dd13 and dd9 both play travel softball--not related to school. They have never asked for report cards but if they asked for them and explained the reason for it, as in the bolded part of jordansmama post above, I would have no problem showing it to them. If coaches asked and didn't explain why or just said bluntly that they would be benched if their grades didn't stay above this certain point, then I would feel the way op feels.
I tend to not do well with bluntness, I react better when things are explained

 

[SadieDog]

The two are not exclusive. You can have a child who is academically behind due to a LD. That child could have 99 plans in place to help him/her. Sometimes activities that seem not important like a sport might actually be encouraged by their therapists to help with some areas. If my child was busting their behind to pass school and I was doing all I could to help them I would not take away the one thing they enjoy. Sorry but that serves no purpose. There are plenty of kids who struggle but that doesn't mean they should have no enjoyment at all.
What about the kid who is struggling and has parents who don't do much to help? Punishing the kid by benching him is not going to make the parents help the kid.
Teach the sport. Leave the rest to the parents.
Oh- and I had a child take Tae Kwon Do. They did not ask for report cards. They asked for the parents to fill out a sheet that let the instructors know that the kids were doing well. I would not have brought them report cards either.

I know what you are saying. I just think there is so much more to a child's well being than a number on a report card. When I was pregnant with my twins, my 3rd child sort of freaked out. It was a complicated pregnancy. I was on bed rest and my DD was very concerned that something was going to happen to me and/or the babies. She shut down in school (1st grade) and ended up in their reading recovery program. Taking away other activities would have just added to her stress. Sure, I could have explained this to a coach, but is it really any of his/her business? My oldest is on the autistic spectrum. He is just a step off of "normal" (very mild...goes to public school, plays sports, etc). He is VERY smart. Grades are the least of my concern for him. Unfortunately, every now and then when he gets worked up over something and has trouble letting it go. One time, when this happened, he tanked a couple tests and just couldn't recover quickly enough to pull his grade up by the end of the marking period. If a coach benched him because of it, it would have had horrible effects on my son. My son plays sports for the socialization, fun and learning experiences of team sports.....all much more important for him than a number on a report card. I get to decide that. Not some coach who only knows my son from seeing him at little league 4 hrs a week for 2 months. My second DD struggles with reading comprehension. All of her grades are great (above 90) except her reading grade. Should she be kept out of sports for that? We do work on her reading....at school and at home. That doesn't mean she cannot have a life or have fun. I mentioned earlier, that this DD has developed leadership skills and gained so much self confidence because of her success in sports. That has carried over to the classroom.

So, when one allows their child to play sports, they aren't always (of course, some are) ignoring the academic issues. They are taking care of the WHOLE child. The parent should be allowed to make these decisions.

Jess

I agree with both of these.

 

[padams]

DS plays competitive soccer. He has had a couple of soccer coaches who were interested in grades. I never even considered it an issue. I was pleased that they cared about the kids beyond the soccer field.

At DS' school, students can't participate in athletics if they have an average of less than 75 in any class. They sit out until the average is brought up to 75 or higher.

 

[gina2000]

I think it's great. Our swim coaches have always made a point of talkiing about academics with the kids and at the age group levels, kids were encouraged to bring in report cards. I think mind and body go together and I believe that children should work toward being the best they can be in both areas.

As far as special ed is concerned, IEPs are in place to help a child succeed. If a child is not succeeding, it's time to request a sit down to reevaluate the IEP.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think it's great. Our swim coaches have always made a point of talkiing about academics with the kids and at the age group levels, kids were encouraged to bring in report cards. I think mind and body go together and I believe that children should work toward being the best they can be in both areas.

As far as special ed is concerned, IEPs are in place to help a child succeed. If a child is not succeeding, it's time to request a sit down to reevaluate the IEP.

Success is not defined by a grade. Just because a child is not getting an A doesn't mean his/her IEP isn't working.

 

[gina2000]

[/B]

Success is not defined by a grade. Just because a child is not getting an A doesn't mean his/her IEP isn't working.

Last time I checked, I didn't see the letter A anywhere in my post.

 

[luvmy3]

I teach 4th grade and always have paperwork coming in from the Little League or Pop Warner coaches regarding student grades. Even though they are not school santioned sports, it's nice to see that the coaches think that it's important for the kids to be doing well in school first.

This year I have a few boys that are in martial arts and their Sensei not only asks for updates, but he does surprise visits to the classroom. He wants to make sure they carry over the discipline that he is teaching them in his class to their academic classes. It's great. He gave me his cell phone number during our first parent/teacher conferences in November. I have a couple of boys that are real behavior problems and all I have to say is, "Should I call Sensei?" and they shape up. My principal is 100% in favor of this involvement.

I find it very interesting that the school gives that type of authority to someone other than themselves or the child's parent. I don't believe our principal would be on board with that, she would want to be the one that should be called and then the parents
Also, your perspective as a teacher gave me a thought about gym class. I find it ironic that its acceptable (to some anyway) to withhold participation in a sport that is not affiliated with the school if a student is not doing well yet the students are all required to take gym class in school even if they have D's and F's. Its all very interesting.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Last time I checked, I didn't see the letter A anywhere in my post.

I was making a point that just because a child isn't getting great grades (better?) then that doesn't mean the IEP isn't working.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I teach 4th grade and always have paperwork coming in from the Little League or Pop Warner coaches regarding student grades. Even though they are not school santioned sports, it's nice to see that the coaches think that it's important for the kids to be doing well in school first.

This year I have a few boys that are in martial arts and their Sensei not only asks for updates, but he does surprise visits to the classroom. He wants to make sure they carry over the discipline that he is teaching them in his class to their academic classes. It's great. He gave me his cell phone number during our first parent/teacher conferences in November. I have a couple of boys that are real behavior problems and all I have to say is, "Should I call Sensei?" and they shape up. My principal is 100% in favor of this involvement.

That would never in a million years fly here. There is no way a teacher would discuss a student with anyone but the parents. The Principal would never ever let anyone just pop into a classroom either. Security and privacy are very tight in our school. Aside from the parents that would have a fit about it (and rightly so) the admin would never in a million years allow any of that.

 

[declansdad]

I teach 4th grade and always have paperwork coming in from the Little League or Pop Warner coaches regarding student grades. Even though they are not school santioned sports, it's nice to see that the coaches think that it's important for the kids to be doing well in school first.

This year I have a few boys that are in martial arts and their Sensei not only asks for updates, but he does surprise visits to the classroom. He wants to make sure they carry over the discipline that he is teaching them in his class to their academic classes. It's great. He gave me his cell phone number during our first parent/teacher conferences in November. I have a couple of boys that are real behavior problems and all I have to say is, "Should I call Sensei?" and they shape up. My principal is 100% in favor of this involvement.

First the Sensei should not be simply allowed to show up at the school and second he shouldn't be provided information about children that are not his own. I am usually the first to defend a teacher, but if this was my son we would have a major issue.

 

[declansdad]

DS plays competitive soccer. He has had a couple of soccer coaches who were interested in grades. I never even considered it an issue. I was pleased that they cared about the kids beyond the soccer field.

At DS' school, students can't participate in athletics if they have an average of less than 75 in any class. They sit out until the average is brought up to 75 or higher.

So the student who will never achieve higher than a 70 average will never be able to participate in school sports.

 

[Abbie]

That would never in a million years fly here. There is no way a teacher would discuss a student with anyone but the parents. The Principal would never ever let anyone just pop into a classroom either. Security and privacy are very tight in our school. Aside from the parents that would have a fit about it (and rightly so) the admin would never in a million years allow any of that.

Same here. There is a law in place, identical to hipaa but with regards to education, that allows for privacy for students. I guess I thought it was a national mandate but perhaps it's just local. The scenario described, going over grades with someone other than a parent, or a coach or other just "popping in" would definitely not be allowed here.

 

[clh2]

My bad...I didn't read the posts on pages 4-8. So Sorry...

Back to the OP's original comments, if the request to see grades was in the middle of the season...NO WAY would I comply. I'm sorry I can't toss in the "bad word" that would give me points.

If this was a requirement that was known at sign-up time for the sport, then you've agreed to this at the beginning. But that is not the case.

If the coaches totally "have to see the the report cards" I would only let them see it. For about a second and a half. There is no way I would EVER let them have the report card. NOPE - not happening. Or - if I absolutely got forced into this - I would show the total GPA, and maybe the class list, but no individual grades, and absolutely no comments.

In my situation, I will monitor my DD's activities vs her grades. Some of her activities are outside of school - so IMHO - those activities do not need to know my DD's grades. (Of course...just like the rest of us on the DIS - my child is PERFECT at school)

 

[LuvN~Travel]

The coach isn't checking to see if the kid is on honor roll. The OP said they are checking for Ds and Fs. I agree with the coach. A child getting Ds and Fs should be spending more time on academics....not an after school sport. That would be a great motivator to get the kid's grades up.

I think then you are treading on the Special Education 'lines'. lol
You might have a kid who does alright in most subjects but has difficulties in one or more subjects due to learning problems. And, if they are under Special Education in school there are laws about their records being handed out to other people. The coaches then have NO business asking for those!

Kim

 

[quentina]

My dd is in a sport where the kids are grades 3-6. It is not school sponsored or even at a school. We got an email that they would like to see each child's grades to make sure they are doing well. If they get a D or F, they will bench them from a practice. I think this all stems from one of the coaches, who is raising her niece who has a lot of issues and has been benched for grades.
Personally, since it is not a school sport, I don't think it is any of their business what my dd grades are ( she is a really good student and in the gifted program). I realize there are parents that don't care, but is it insulting to parents to ask this? I am responsible for seeing that my child does well in school, not them. What do you think?

When my oldest did karate (which we paid for), we were required to submit report cards. If grades were suffering, Sensai gave a talk about the importance of school etc. I doubt that he kicked kids off the mat....$$$$$ would be lost.

 

[phragmipedium]

I wouldn't really have a problem with it. But then again, if either of my children came home with D's or F's on their report cards, I'd yank them before the coach had a chance to ask for a report card.

That's pretty much exactly what I was going to say. If my child was failing and there were no extenuating circumstances that I felt warranted them continuing to play, they'd be done with that extracurricular activity until grades improved. Clearly, they would need that time to focus on school. Extracurriculars are important but not as important as putting forth a best effort in education IMO. I would be pleased that the league/coach cared about this, though I would have already dealt with it as a parent.

If it were something unusual - an illness, an unexpected loss, a learning disability - I would discuss with the coach and/or someone higher in the league whether there could be some sort of accomodation based on circumstances, provided I thought my child was progressing and this sort of negative reinforcement would not be beneficial because the issue was already being addressed.

So, I would have no problem with joining a league with this type of rule. If I felt like it was a privacy issue (ie, maybe it's a peer's parent coaching and I didn't feel like they needed my student's exact grades), I might see if it would be acceptable to just get a printout or progress report that verified my student was "passing" without specifying grades.

Parents who feel the rule was not adequately spelled out (and verify in the handbook, etc that this was not part of the rules when they paid fees) should, I believe, be able to opt out of the program at this point and receive a pro-rated refund. But if it was part of the rules to begin with and they just weren't read, I don't think any refund is warranted if they choose to opt out now.

I would also, if I were a parent and concerned about the report card requirement, consider asking my children how they feel - if they are passing and really want to play, they may be very unhappy if their parent pulls them from the program on principle. Of course you're still the parent, but I'd think it's worth a discussion with your child to find out what it means to them before you take any action.