Non-Disney Loving Spouse

[Jessica14]

See I don't understand this, he wants to go camping, which you immediately nixed but you totally expect him to always want to go where you want? I guess it's just if I suggested some thing and my husband immediately said no, then turned around and planned a vacation I was less then thrilled about, we would definitely be discussing things like "compomise".

As much as I love disney, I love my spouse way more (not saying you don't) and if that means I have to skip a year and do some thing he really likes, than disney will have to wait.

Wow! What a snap judgement! Where did I say that we never go camping and I love Disney more than my husband (you implied it even though you said otherwise)? We go camping as well and travel to other destinations that he likes. He asked if I would rather go tent camping instead of Disney. The anwer is "no, not "never in a million years, Buddy." Also, where did I state I don't compromise? I actually said that although I was annoyed that he he wanted to sleep in even though he we disscused making rope drop, that he could stay by the pool and read, which he did the prior Disney Vacation.

This is a nice little thread and everyone is posting their experiences with spouses and I really didn't expect someone to question my marriage commitment.
Jessica


Jessica

 

[JennyMP03]

This is a nice little thread and everyone is posting their experiences with spouses and I really didn't expect someone to question my marriage commitment.

Welcome to the DIS.

 

[ashenbiez]

oh my goodness, i couldn't imagine going through this in my relationship!
i feel for all of you who have non-disney lovers in your lives. its nearly a tragedy!
Hopefully you're all able to work something out and get vacations that work for the whole family!
Someone suggested Disney Cruises in a previous post - that sounds like a great compromise! especially if you do a land/sea combo trip. I've never done a Disney cruise, but I'm a huge fan of Cruises in general - I love how there's so much going on but you don't feel like you're missing out if you just veg by the pool.

Reading this prompted me to ask my BF if he actually LIKES going to Disney or if doesn't care and he said he actually enjoys it. phew! He actually has been asking a lot more about our plans this trip (our third in four years) than previous ones - so i think he's starting to GET it all

good luck to those with the disney haters on their hands!

 

[gonnago]

I am so glad to see this thread.My husband has never been to Disney and has no desire to go,he thinks it is for families(children).We have 3 grown children,2 grandchildren(still too young for Disney)and one on the way.I took our daughter in 2008 for a mother/daughter birthday trip and this was the only time I got to take any of our children,always wanted to could not afford it when they were younger.I also just went on a girls only trip with 5 of my friends in 2010 had a blast!
Well I told him I wanted him to go on a trip with me just once so he can see why Disney is my happy place,he says that isn't gonna happen but I am gonna plan a trip anyway,he will go and if he doesn't get it then i will be doing my trips without him as I have already done.But at least he will see that there is so much to do/see and that it isn't just rides or about children only.That there is alot of things for adults to see/do.He will enjoy it(just may not admit it,lol)but I know that he may never care to go again and that is fine with me as long as we can have a trip together to remember I will be happy.
And he can be happy that I won't bug him about it anymore!

 

[amzking]

If he whines that much and is incapable of sucking it up and putting a smile on his face then I feel sorry for you. I agree with the "go without him" crowd. Nothing would ruin my vacation more than having a whiner come along.

 

[Luv2CtheMouse]

He complains about going. Complains that it isn't a vacation. Complains that he would rather be somewhere else. Complains about the cost....

Even this last time...we do all half days in the parks...half day pools...took it very easy and he still whined :-(

It sounds to me like enough sacrifice may not be being made here. Let him pick the vacation spot and see how it turns out.

Fact is, Disney is not everybody's cup of tea. I work in IT for a large technology/computer company and I know only 1 other person who gets my love for Disney.

My kids love it, my husband is okay about going, but it is not his favorite place. He would rather be on a cruise ship or on a beach somewhere.

If you have to make sacrifices to have a vacation, maybe you will also need to sacrifice where you spend it and let him have his way.

 

[Luv2CtheMouse]

oh my goodness, i couldn't imagine going through this in my relationship!
i feel for all of you who have non-disney lovers in your lives. its nearly a tragedy!

Are you serious? A tragedy?

It is a tragedy when all people have to look forward to in life is going on vacation or to WDW. My husband and I share so many magical moments that have nothing to do with WDW. There is more to life in general than WDW.

I look forward to my Disney vacations as much as anybody, so much that I bought into DVC...4 contracts totaling close to 1000 points in 2010. My husband can go and sit at the resort or go to the parks....or play golf. If he chooses to stay home, it is not a tragedy. If he ever decides he does not want to go, I would sell off some of our contracts.

Would your (generally speaking) life end or would you need medication for medical depression if you were unable to visit WDW? I hope you would answer no to that. If you would need to answer yes, then that is a true tragedy.

Maybe some people make Disney their god and I just dont subscribe to that way of thinking?







1. a. A drama or literary work in which the main character is brought to ruin or suffers extreme sorrow, especially as a consequence of a tragic flaw, moral weakness, or inability to cope with unfavorable circumstances.

b. The genre made up of such works.
c. The art or theory of writing or producing these works.


2. A play, film, television program, or other narrative work that portrays or depicts calamitous events and has an unhappy but meaningful ending.


3. A disastrous event, especially one involving distressing loss or injury to life: an expedition that ended in tragedy, with all hands lost at sea.


4. A tragic aspect or element.

5. a shocking or sad event

 

[Planogirl]

Some of this is hysterical.

Do all of you Disney lovers have everything in common with your SO's? You can share a lot and be very compatible and still not necessarily share a love for a themepark resort.

Not everyone will love this place, that's just the way it is. People have different tastes and that's normal and actually more fun than everyone being clones. I've learned much by following along with DH's interests even if participating in all of them wasn't for me. I enjoyed learning about new things but I can hardly expect my DH to just blindly do what I want any more than he expects it from me.

OP, why can't you go without him? I did so many times without my DH and then other times he might come along. It worked out well for us.

 

[ToddyLu]

These are great suggestions. If you have a guy that doesn't like golf, fishing, drinking at ESPN, or surfing the web, you've got a problem.

Full disclosure: I don't like any of those things, but I am a WDW fanatic. Surely there is no guy who doesn't like WDW or any of the above???

Todd, is that you? Are you excited about our trip in 6 weeks...I am.



DH does love photography for which Disney is a Mecca. He loves Disney as much as I, although he is not would you would call a DIS Freak like me.

 

[CTH3]

I disagree with you Luv2CtheMouse. If my spouse hated WDW it would most certainly be...

5. a shocking or sad event

...thus, by your own list of definitions, a tragedy.

Also, I might be compelled to write a play in which the main character (my spouse) is brought to ruin as a consequence of a tragic flaw (i.e. WDW-hating). The Chorus could be made up of DISboarders. It'd be cool. And tragic.

 

[ToddyLu]

he makes reference that I need to go on Dr. Phil since I spend an hour a day on the computer.

You ony spend an hour on the DIS? Really? Gee I am really a freak then. The DIS is constantly up on my computer. I learn something new everyday here....today it was I AM A DIS FREAK, A REALLY BAD FREAK.....maybe I do have a problem. Anyone want to start a 12 step program with me? Nah, me either.

 

[ToddyLu]

Also, I might be compelled to write a play in which the main character (my spouse) is brought to ruin as a consequence of a tragic flaw (i.e. WDW-hating). The Chorus could be made up of DISboarders. It'd be cool. And tragic.

I would play your WIZARD, ToddyLu the GREAT, and banish people from the kingdom for not loving it.

 

[tony609]

I guess i am lucky DP goes to disney every year with a good attitude. But I was honest in the beginning that I vacation every year in disney either wdw or dl. So there were no suprises. I will go other places during the year but wdw is the big one.

 

[klmall]

DH is definitely not a Disney fan even though he has gone on 8 trips; many of those he was definitely Grumpy personified. After the first few trips when our son was young he came along just because he didn't want to be left behind! I think he mostly goes to see me having a good time because I love Disney so much.

While I could go every year, two or three times a year even, I do think it would ruin the magic for me and I do feel that there are wonderful other places to visit in the US and the world. DH has chosen some vacations for us. I do think that is only fair!

Since he isn't a big fan, I always let him choose the hotel. And when we go I get up early, head to rope drop and take pictures etc. do some rides and meet him for a meal midday. I make sure that he gets any ADRs he wants and if there are any special things he might want to do I include them in our plans. When he gets tired I find a comfy place to sit (he has severe back problems). I think it helps. But regardless of what I do to make the trip a bit better for him I still go on and do things I want to do and he knows that.

We've compromised on a lot of things in our marriage and how we do Disney is only another form of compromise, especially on his part. But if he truly hated it I would just go solo again as I did in 2000.

 

[michaela mouse]

I think someone just needs to get a new husband.

 

[michelleiada]

My husband is not a Disney lover...but he still goes and has fun. He just isn't obsessed like I am. I do wish he shared my passion. It would be more enjoyable to share it together...but ehhhh....I will still keep him!

 

[Racemom17]

I guess i am lucky DP goes to disney every year with a good attitude. But I was honest in the beginning that I vacation every year in disney either wdw or dl. So there were no suprises. I will go other places during the year but wdw is the big one.

My spouse knew of my Disney addiction...I think he went into the marriage assuming I would grow out of it...and I went into the marriage assuming he would grow into it Certainly not a marriage breaker...just wish he could see Disney the way I do.