Non-Disney Loving Spouse

[sammielynn]

The Ex was not a Disney fan, never did get him to go. But I have raised our children right! They love Disney. The other day my DS19 told me that his Dad (the Ex) had ask if he wanted to go to Orlando with the new family, wife and four kids(not his). The reason he wanted DS19 to go with them was so DS19 could ride home with him to help drive while the new wife and her kids went to Disney. At least he won't go with the new wife either.

 

[mommytocalliesue]

My Husband is similar. My DH doesn't HATE it...but he doesn't like to go as often as I do. So our solution...this trip I'm taking just my daughter!! He said he'll go on the next one!

 

[aceys_h0ney]

My husband is not a Disney lover. I wish he were. He likes going there he just doesn't want to go as often as I do. If we never went again he would be ok with it. He does enjoy his time there though so that's nice. We have agreed to go every other year, which sucks because this is our off year lol. He gets to plan the vacation this year.

 

[prncess674]

There is no reason to spend every vacation dollar at the house of the mouse. What is it your DH would like to do? Maybe you need to step away from the DIS and the crazy mentality that you need to visit at least once a year. Many families only once every two or three years at WDW and the kids are not scarred for life. I think you may need to take your vacation dollars and spend them somewhere differently this year. Remember DH is a part of the family and you obviously aren't including him in the decision of where to spend the vacation dollars.

 

[osprey6]

I'm curious about the details.

Remember, you asked for it. OK, here goes:

1994 - DL

• CM charged me to park at MK even though I showed my resort ID
• Supposed non-smoking room was full of cigarette burns on carpet
• Monorail lost power while we were riding.
• Lifeguard at RC was encouraging kids to splash each other, and one clocked me on the head in the process of pulling back his arm to hit the water
• The Mass we attended at the Poly had to be delayed while a flock of ducks marched through the theater. That WAS actually a little amusing.

2001 - CBR

• Asked for room close to feature pool. We literally could not have been further away.
• Cockroaches were seen in the food court
• Bus driver was exceptionally rude, especially to older children
• TL lifeguard made an insulting comment about my weight
• Room had holes in the base of the walls.
• Got violently ill (nausea/vomiting) from breakfast.

2011
Missed eligibility for Stay 'n Play because CM gave me incorrect deadline. Since then, we have made 11 phone calls to Central Reservations, Disney Stores and Gift Card Services because of contradictory answers and the inability of Disney Stores to sell less than 3 day tickets and of CR to take more than one gift card per transaction. During one call to CR, the CM kept me on hold for 35 minutes straight, finally resulting in me hanging up. Finally, we reached someone who could help us in GCS, who managed to combine all cards into one, and THEN we called CR to buy tickets.

 

[Rudi610]

My wife and I both enjoy Disney, and it was not until recently when we could really afford to go (both time and money). Disney World is not really a vacation, since you really need a break when you get home to recover. Part of me would like to go every year, but the sensible part says maybe every other year or two (to keep the magic special). Now, for those of you who need your Disney fix but want a relaxing vacation, try one of the Disney cruise ships (if you haven't already). This was the most relaxing vacation I ever had!!

 

[leebee]

DH doesn't get it, either; he thinks there are LOTS of OTHER places to go on vacation! Delusional! Actually, when I mention to others that DH doesn't like WDW, he defensively says he's been 9 times and didn't mind the first half-dozen trips! Guess I gotta cut him some slack!

A few years ago he finally accepted that DD and I will always want to go back to Disney, so we do, every other year, without him. We have a GREAT time, and I am more relaxed on our girls' trips than I am with DH around; he doesn't like crowds, doesn't like things that don't go smoothly, doesn't mind pointing "incorrectnesses" out to others (like pointing out that you shouldn't be throwing your lit cigarette butt on the ground- which is a highly annoying habit on both his part and the smoker's), etc., and I am always a little anxious when we take him to Disney. However, even though DD and I have a marvelous time, at some point we start missing him, wishing we could share special things with him, etc. Oh well... he isn't going to happily, willingly go back, and I am not going to stop going, so... guess I'll have to suck it up and just go with DD

 

[Lees3rwe]

My husband had NO desire to go to Disney when I brought it up last year.
He whined, he complained, he rolled his eyes everytime DS and I talked about it and bought planning books, etc...

Then we went, and now he is hooked. We just went last October and now we are going back in June.

And it was HIS idea!

YES!!!!!!

 

[Racemom17]

His first trip was definately more stressful...we were with my parents and my brothers family (who were their for the first time also) but this trip out of 5 full days in Florida...we spent one together at Daytona Raceway and he and DS spent another full day in Daytona together...so he only did the parks 3 of the 5 days....

On top of that...he is all about the food...I made all the dining reservations to cater to his taste and his request to eat a big meal and then leave the parks...

I really tried to make the trip more balanced this time.

We took 2 days to drive down...so arrival day Tuesday we only had a 6 hour drive. We spent several hours in the pool on arrival before heading to DTD for a seafood dinner.

Wed we had a Poly breakfast-got to MK at 1030. We left the park at 4 after our LTT dining. Back to the resort for swimming and relaxing.

Thursday-daytona Beach

Friday- AK. Breakfast at Pizzafari, touring the place, lunch at Flame Tree....we left at 430 and went back to the resort...dinner late at 8 at Boatwrights...He did seem to enjoy this day.

Saturday Epcot-small breakfast at food court, lunch at San Angel Inn...we left the park for a break at 2....back to swim....we went back to the park at 7 for our 8pm dinner reservation at Le Cellier...

So I tried really hard this time to not to the commando (we have been so many times I find i don't need to do that anymore) and to give him the pool time and time off Disney property...but I think it comes down to...he just doesn't understand why I love Disney so much.

We are fortuante to take a family camping trip every year to WV...it has gotten longer in duration...started at 3 days and we are up to 9 nights this year...and I am a good sport...a converted non-outdoor girl and I find love for the things he likes...but he can't seem to reciprocate....the whole time we are at Disney I feel like I am making him be somewhere he doesn't really want to be.

His complaints seem a bit vague. Maybe there is something more specific you need to ask and find out.

Have you asked him why he feels it isn't a vacation?

If it is really bothering you I would try and sit down and really get to the root.

As for cost you can do a very economical week's stay. Infact we have found a trip to WDW is cheaper than 90% of the vacations we would like to go on, staying a week at a time.

So I don't buy it. Something else is bothering him.....

I hope you get to the root. I am blessed my DH is as nuts for WDW as I am. Sometimes I think even more!!!

 

[Racemom17]

There is no reason to spend every vacation dollar at the house of the mouse. What is it your DH would like to do? Maybe you need to step away from the DIS and the crazy mentality that you need to visit at least once a year. Many families only once every two or three years at WDW and the kids are not scarred for life. I think you may need to take your vacation dollars and spend them somewhere differently this year. Remember DH is a part of the family and you obviously aren't including him in the decision of where to spend the vacation dollars.

Actually we spend a week in Disney and a week in WV (his choice) every year. We also spend several long weekends in Richmond, Martinsville, Darlington (his choice-race weekends)

 

[pepe of ohio]

We've been going since 1977 and now are empty nesters and what we loved about Disney, no transportation needed....they haul you everywhere and we still don't mind the bus service....it's an attraction and part of the adventure for us. That being said, I never like schedules or die in the parks opening to close. We're early risers anyway so getting up on vacation early is no big deal but I can see where that could be a problem.....we hit the parks for a few hours in the am and our back to the resort around noon to enjoy the resort, room A/C, picnic lunch and drinks at the pool and just layout. We go back to the parks in the later evening for a few hours and then hit the resort pool when returning to the resort. We always take a day or 2 off from the parks and just do nothing or wife hits DTD till her arms are full and I enjoy the room or pool, we might venture over to FW for a pizza and some pitchers of beer, minature golf etc.

We're not impressed with Dsiney's TS restaurants so mostly know where our favorite CS meals are at and enjoy hitting them. Not dining plans what so ever but we really enjoy our picnic pool lunches made with cold cuts picked up in route to WDW, some beers and wine and the Florida sun. We don't drag each other to this or that....she likes DTD, I don't.....she goes...I stay back no big deal...she gets what she likes and I get to do what I like...even compromise and the best of both worlds.....

WE, this past trip December, decided we want to go to Daytona Beach for a few days before WDW since we haven't seen the ocean in over 25 years....miserable.....not much to do without involving the car and driving....one day would have been enough and it was just as expensive as WDW. I've looked at different destinations before and again for this year and dollar for dollar, Disney beats anywhere else. Just what's on hand in WDW, using their transportation wins....hotels and resorts anywhere cost the same if not more and have nothing as themed, or things to do as WDW. Yes, we've been to WDW alot, 44 trips and going again this year and she'll do her thing and I'll do mine and if you have children...let me tell you...they are only little and with you for a short time...enjoy them as much as you can for the grow up and move on and then all you'll have is each other.....

 

[Racemom17]

That is my big quite:

They are only this age once...in 15 years they will all be gone and have lives of their own...

if you have children...let me tell you...they are only little and with you for a short time...enjoy them as much as you can for the grow up and move on and then all go have is each other.....

 

[Balt ravens fan]

Skip WV and Disney one year and see how you like it. Tell him you will give up Disney one year if he will give up WV. And go to Hawaii instead for 2 weeks ... then when he really wants WV say ok only if you go to Disney and stop complaining about it and embrace it like I embrace WV.

If he doesn't want to give up WV for a year then he needs to be embrace Disney the way you embrace WV. I think the notion of skipping both may put something in his head that he has to give up something when you give up something.

Marriage is about compromise and change.

 

[NOLAdisneymom]

After reading this thread, I texted my DH and asked, do you love Disney, or are you just going for me? He replied, It's mostly bc it makes you so happy but I like it too, it's lots of fun..

He took me on a couple's trip in 08 (our first vac together), then we took his son on a 18th bday/Christmas gift trip in Nov last year, this year we are taking my son (DS10) in December. Every time we find more things to do, and he seems to have more fun each time!

 

[MikeandReneePlus5]

We've been going since 1977 and now are empty nesters and what we loved about Disney, no transportation needed....they haul you everywhere and we still don't mind the bus service....it's an attraction and part of the adventure for us. That being said, I never like schedules or die in the parks opening to close. We're early risers anyway so getting up on vacation early is no big deal but I can see where that could be a problem.....we hit the parks for a few hours in the am and our back to the resort around noon to enjoy the resort, room A/C, picnic lunch and drinks at the pool and just layout. We go back to the parks in the later evening for a few hours and then hit the resort pool when returning to the resort. We always take a day or 2 off from the parks and just do nothing or wife hits DTD till her arms are full and I enjoy the room or pool, we might venture over to FW for a pizza and some pitchers of beer, minature golf etc.

We're not impressed with Dsiney's TS restaurants so mostly know where our favorite CS meals are at and enjoy hitting them. Not dining plans what so ever but we really enjoy our picnic pool lunches made with cold cuts picked up in route to WDW, some beers and wine and the Florida sun. We don't drag each other to this or that....she likes DTD, I don't.....she goes...I stay back no big deal...she gets what she likes and I get to do what I like...even compromise and the best of both worlds.....

WE, this past trip December, decided we want to go to Daytona Beach for a few days before WDW since we haven't seen the ocean in over 25 years....miserable.....not much to do without involving the car and driving....one day would have been enough and it was just as expensive as WDW. I've looked at different destinations before and again for this year and dollar for dollar, Disney beats anywhere else. Just what's on hand in WDW, using their transportation wins....hotels and resorts anywhere cost the same if not more and have nothing as themed, or things to do as WDW. Yes, we've been to WDW alot, 44 trips and going again this year and she'll do her thing and I'll do mine and if you have children...let me tell you...they are only little and with you for a short time...enjoy them as much as you can for the grow up and move on and then all go have is each other.....

Just wanted to say...this is such a nice post.

 

[Racemom17]

Skip WV and Disney one year and see how you like it. Tell him you will give up Disney one year if he will give up WV. And go to Hawaii instead for 2 weeks ... then when he really wants WV say ok only if you go to Disney and stop complaining about it and embrace it like I embrace WV.

If he doesn't want to give up WV for a year then he needs to be embrace Disney the way you embrace WV. I think the notion of skipping both may put something in his head that he has to give up something when you give up something.

Marriage is about compromise and change.

I tried that and was told that Disney and WV are not comparable...because everyone wants to go to WV. It is true I like WV...but I would be just as happy with a second week in Disney- probably happier....I like WV because he does, because of the activities it allows us and the enjoyment the kids get out of it...just wish that he could see they are comparable even though they are two completely different types of vacations...WV and camping is actually more physical and more work IMO.

 

[disnut8]

Taking a trip without him is not an option (unless I go with my Mom) and even then I would feel guilty because we have both decided to make sacrifices to pay off debt...but if we can afford to pay cash yearly...why not go? The kids are only little once...right...

I just can't make him love it...I love the Disney bubble and he just doesn't get it.

Well, the options I see are-

- You go with your mother
- You start alternating your yearly vacations with Disney World one year, something your husband wants to do the next year
- You don't go to Disney World at all
- You only do vacations your husband wants to do

Quite frankly, that second option seems to be the best for what a family is supposed to do. Yes, you love Disney but your husband doesn't. Your husband loves NASCAR, do you? Is it something he just watches on his own? If so, why don't you understand why he doesn't share your same passion?

 

[KarenAylwood]

That is my big quite:

They are only this age once...in 15 years they will all be gone and have lives of their own...

Or... they'll still be begging to go on Disney trips with you until they're almost 30

Seriously though, it's a good point (depending on what type of kid you get ). If you're lucky it will end when they get married. If they're normal (ie not like me) it will end sometime in their teens.

 

[King Triton]

There are many ways to save. You can stay at a value resort and save money that way. I use my Disney Visa card and earned $900 disney dollars to cash in on my last trip to Disneyland. Find out what he enjoys the most. Pick a Disney resort with a cool pool if that will make him happy. I think it's extra fun when you go to either the Halloween or Christmas party. Yes, that part does cost extra but well worth it.

 

[kaffinito]

These are great suggestions. If you have a guy that doesn't like golf, fishing, drinking at ESPN, or surfing the web, you've got a problem.

Full disclosure: I don't like any of those things, but I am a WDW fanatic. Surely there is no guy who doesn't like WDW or any of the above???

My DH is like this. He hates WDW, hates fishing, doesn't drink, and would rather work out than surf the web.

When we got married I told him that I would not compromise on WDW. I will go at least once a year, and he if he wants to go with us, then fine. If not, he's more than welcome to do whatever he wants to do.

He's making noises about me taking him again, but honestly, the two times he went were so awful I'd rather not.