No need for mommy wars, people!

[mrsklamc]

Staying home is right for some people. Daycare is right for some people. You are not in their situation. No one can make those decisions but them. SAHMs have plenty of other ways for their kids to interact socially, and working moms can find plenty of quality time for their kids. No one needs to get defensive about their choices or bash anyone else's.

 

[worm761]

I completely agree with you. I have actually been both. My guess is that people feel the need to justify their choice and the easiest way to do that is to attack the other choice. No one choice is perfect for everyone.

 

[Luvchefmic]

As a Mom of "kids" in their 30's I think its disgusting that anyone has to justify either SAHM or working in the world Mom. I would have hoped this crap ended in the 1970's sad really that it continues....either side just do what feels right for you & yours and and what your family needs and the hell with what anyone else thinks....worked for me

 

[pigletgirl]

YES! It's silly people get bashed for what works for them.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I responded on the original thread. I've been both a SAHM and working mom. I think we are all trying to make the best decision for our families. For some, that means working. For others, it means not working. I don't think we should bash each other on the subject either.

 

[Holly]

Yet there was a need for a third thread about it?

One created specifically to chastise a bunch of adults?

Enjoy

 

[Nik's Mom]

Yet there was a need for a third thread about it?

One created specifically to chastise a bunch of adults?

Enjoy

I can't argue with someone who quotes Lafayette in their signature. I love him.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Yet there was a need for a third thread about it?

One created specifically to chastise a bunch of adults?

Enjoy

I must be out of the loop...I missed the first 2

 

[mrsklamc]

Yet there was a need for a third thread about it?

One created specifically to chastise a bunch of adults?

Enjoy

I didn't want anyone on either thread to think I was responding to them personally. It's so emotional for some people that they just assume that's the case (on either side.)

Edit: (Also,Some naive part of me was still hoping the OP of the first thread might actually get the assistance she was seeking rather than taking that thread further OT.)

 

[luvmy3]

Staying home is right for some people. Daycare is right for some people. You are not in their situation. No one can make those decisions but them. SAHMs have plenty of other ways for their kids to interact socially, and working moms can find plenty of quality time for their kids. No one needs to get defensive about their choices or bash anyone else's.

SAHM vs. Working Mothers is no different than differences in politics, religion, "will you let your teen go away with their boyfriend", "will you let your underage child drink alcohol". There will always be someone getting defensive, someone bashing and some just . Its just how its meant to be.

 

[dejr_8]

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread to post in but.. All else being equal I believe it is better for a child to be raised at home rather than in daycare.

Now I don't think less of a mom (or dad) that uses daycare, but I also think that it would be better for the children if one parent (notice I didn't say mom) "sacrificed" their career to stay at home.

 

[mrsklamc]

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread to post in but.. All else being equal I believe it is better for a child to be raised at home rather than in daycare.

Now I don't think less of a mom (or dad) that uses daycare, but I also think that it would be better for the children if one parent (notice I didn't say mom) "sacrificed" their career to stay at home.

All else never will be equal, on either side of the debate. Which is kinda my point. Ya just never know.

 

[descovy]

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread to post in but.. All else being equal I believe it is better for a child to be raised at home rather than in daycare.

Now I don't think less of a mom (or dad) that uses daycare, but I also think that it would be better for the children if one parent (notice I didn't say mom) "sacrificed" their career to stay at home.

Thank your lucky stars hunny, that you have been *blessed* with a choice. Sadly, not all have the luxury of "choice to sacrifice a career" ... (right now I am thinking of my BFF who is a widowed, single working mom)

I am so glad you were given the opportunity to choose what is best for your family. Kudos to you for making the right choice for YOUR family. Kindly understand that others are making the best choice for their families... even if it isn't the same decision you made for yourself.



By the grace of God go I...

 

[FireDancer]

Like many issues it is just one person nannying another. I really don't care what other people do while raising their children provided it is legal. Spank or don't. Breast feed or bottle feed. Stay at home or both work. Send them to public school, private school, or home school.

The whole point in having freedom of choice is the ability choose what works for you regardless of whether or not it works for me. People just love to tell other people how to live their lives and it is kind of sad and pathetic.

 

[taylor3297]

like many issues it is just one person nannying another. I really don't care what other people do while raising their children provided it is legal. Spank or don't. Breast feed or bottle feed. Stay at home or both work. Send the to public school, private school, or home school.

The whole point in having freedom of choice is the ability choose what works for you regardless of whether or not it works for me. People just love to tell other people how to live their lives and it is kind of sad and pathetic.

amen!

 

[disykat]

SAHM vs. Working Mothers is no different than differences in politics, religion, "will you let your teen go away with their boyfriend", "will you let your underage child drink alcohol". There will always be someone getting defensive, someone bashing and some just . Its just how its meant to be.

And some will always see their own opinion as fact and anyone whose opinion is different as misguided!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I will just add---no need to take offense when someone states why they chose something as though it were a judgement on your choice. I
find that irritating even in non-child related situations. I had no idea for years that my sil was offended when I responded why I didn't rat certain types of
foods. One day she got fed up and defended herself to my "snooty" attitude. Evidently commenting that I didn't eat those things as they weren't healthy was a slam. So I gave her an overly detailed TMI explanation of why they weren't healthy for me with the added note that it was ridiculous that I had to
even consider sharing such information so that it would be crystal clear that me finding deep fat fried food not something I wish to eat was
not a judgement of her. Bugs me when people do that. I
do try to watch my delivery so that I don't come across as offensive, but it gets difficult when there are folks that will find offense in the most innocent of statements. Hence why SIL knows wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more about my gastro-intestinal issues than she ever thought she would.

Anyway---back to mommy wars. It would go a long way to not be offended by the opinions others had that influenced there choices.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

And some will always see their own opinion as fact and anyone whose opinion as different as misguided!

I know for a fact that you must be misguided to have formed such a conclusion.



(and just in case---I'm totally joking!!!)

 

[RNMOM]

I have been both a SAHM and worked. I've done full time and part time work and if I had to do it all over I would have worked minimal part time and been home as much as possible with my kids.

Neither is easy. Being a mother is THE hardest job there is, hands down. It is the parent part that is hard, now whether or not you work full or part time.

I have always been perplexed that women can't seem to support one another. We need to change that and be the best people we can to one another.


{I just had to spell check whether...one source said wether is a castrated sheep! Glad I checked that word!}

 

[Cinerbelle]

I am the original OP of the first thread... I am sorry, I did not mean to start any wars. I just needed some guidance and I got some GREAT ideas!! Thanks to everyone!!